The Church of Pete

This article is about the Church proper. For the religious philosophy, see Petians. Not to be confused with the Popsicle Pete cult.

The Church of Pete is dedicated to spreading the Word of Pete to all the Petians in Malton, through the use of both Clerical and Military means. The protection of the Holy Land in the environs of Pagram Library, and the protection of the Faithful, is paramount to this Mission.

Unlike the general Petian religion, the Church is a group, and you must request to join, whereupon you will be assigned to a clerical role or a knightly order based on your abilities and duties. If accepted, the group name to put into your characters profile is "The Church of Pete", and nothing else.

Clerical Structure of the Church

The clerical structure of the Church is divided amongst six groups, with one leader, the Supreme Pontiff, or Pope, who is from the most senior group, the Cardinals. Each of these groups has different responsibilities, and all have inherited the line of Apostolic succession from St. Stan.

The Supreme Pontiff or Pope

The Pope is the leader of the Church of Pete, and is a Cardinal. He is the first among equals, but is charged with great responsibilities. It is his duty, as Servant of the Servants of Pete, to ensure that all the Petians in Malton are ministered to, and that goodly Zombies received recognition and sacraments from the Church. Although he defers this authority to his underlings, it is his to give and revoke at any time.

The current Pope is St. Stan, born Satanic Mechanic, who has taken the Papal name of Pope Pedro I, and was the first to recognize Pete. He wears a neat hat.

The Cardinals

The Cardinals are the group from which the new Pope is chosen, and they also wear neat hats, though not as neat as the hat the Pope wears. It is from this group that the new Pope will be chosen, should it ever be necessary. The College of Cardinals also holds within it other official positions, such as that of Lord High Inquisitor, who's job it is to "keep the faith" or "keep it real," as it were, and the Papal Chamberlain, who must strike the Pope in the head with a mallet to ensure he is still quite dead. (The general rule on this is to strike the Pope, and if he reaches up and eats the goo from the hole just put into his head, he is quite dead. If, however, he falls to the floor, groaning, and bleeding about the scalp, he is still alive, and in this case should be struck until quite dead again.)

The Archbishops

The Archbishops rank directly below the Cardinals, and they wear neater hats than them; almost, but not quite, as neat as the Pope's hat. They rule over an archdiocese, and are considered slightly more senior than Bishops. Their throne is houses at a Cathedral, and they are aided by Archdeacons.

The Bishops

The Bishops also have neat hats, but they are the last to have such. They preside over the diocese, which houses its thrown in the Cathedral, where the Bishop sits. They, like the Bishops, are aided by the Archdeacons.

The Archdeacons

The Archdeacons, like the lowlier Deacons, act as aids to the episcopal rulers of the Cathedral, the Bishops and Archbishops. They are effectively their right-hand men, and often carry the authority of the Episcopal See when the Bishops are absent.

The Priests

The priests are the preachers of the Church of Pete, and administer the sacraments and prepare the Petians to make pilgrimages, often leading their Parish on the Pilgrimages underneath their Bishop or Archbishop, who will lead all the Parishes in his Diocese.

The Deacons

Like the Archdeacons, the Deacons are the aide-de-campe of the Priests, and frequently carry with them their authority when a priest isn't present to lead his Parish. Thus a Deacon can lead his Parish Petians on a pilgrimage to Pagram, if necessary. They are the lowest-ranking in seniority of all the clergy in the Church of Pete.

Military Structure of the Church

The church is not all Pilgrimages around the diocese, finding food to feed the hungry Zombies, and preaching the name of Pete to those heathens barricaded inside buildings. No, for the Holy Land at Pagram is held by Harmanz, and the Church needs a military wing to reclaim her. If necessary, groups of Zombies not directly affiliated with the Church, but which are practicing Petians, may give some of their brave warriors to Crusade in the Church's name, in which case their Zombies are assigned to the right Knightly order, and may forever carry the most senior standard to which they are entitled. The use of disreputable, un-Petely tactics, such as zombie spying, will result in expulsion, excommunication, and disgrace.

Lord Protector

The Lord Protector of the Church is the Commander-in-Chief of the entire Military forces of the Church of Pete. He is also the Pope! The Pope indeed wears many neat hats. If the Pope wishes he may, at his discretion, pass the title of Lord Protector on to another.

Knights of the Most Ancient and Most Noble Order of the Syringe

Named for the manner of Pete's desurrection, The Knights of the Most Ancient and Most Noble Order of the Syringe are the most senior of the Knightly forces, and comprise the most high-ranking and highest-leveled zombies in the crusade.

Knights of the Most Ancient and Most Noble Order of Pagram

Named for the site at which Pete's ?rise and Desurrection took place, the Knights of the Most Ancient and Most Noble Order of Pagram are second in seniority. A truly elite force, indeed!

Knights of the Most Noble Order of St. Stan

Named for Pete's first Disciple, Apostle, and Pope (and the Order's Colonel-in-Chief), the Knights of St. Stan are the third most senior Knightly Order of the Church.

Knights of the Noble Order of Ridleybank

Named for Pete's adopted homeland of Ridleybank, the Order of Ridley is run by the mid-level zombies, and ranks fourth on the order of seniority.

Knights of the Noble Order of Mornington

Named for Pete's birthplace, the Order of Mornington ranks fifth on the order of seniority.

Knights of the Order of Ackland

Named for the spot at which Pete preached, and sieged, and grew in strength, the Order of Ackland ranks sixth and last in the order of seniority.