The Evil Army of H2G2
| The Evil Army of H2G2 | |
| |
| Abbreviation: | EAoH2G2; EA |
| Group Numbers: | About a dozen |
| Leadership: | Bocaj Claw |
| Goals: | To have fun |
| Recruitment Policy: | Just join |
| Contact: | [1] |
The Evil Army came to Malton from their native land of H2G2 for an evil and diabolical purpose! They planned to... STEAL DENTAL FLOSS AND DRINK TEA! *whisper whisper* And hot chocolate! Tea AND hot chocolate. However, when they arrived they learned that the zombie invasion had destroyed the nearby Tea, Hot chocolate, and Floss factory. Filled with rage the Evil Army settled in Dalton, I mean Dartside!, to begin their revenge against those evil hot drinks and hygeine hating zombies!
When they arrived in Daltonside they immediately got into a quarrel with the other local groups over who got the TV remote. It was decided (by two throws, a submission, and an axe to the face) that they'd just rent a movie.
ANNOUNCEMENTS
Operation Survive 3 Months in dartside was a success. Congradulations and stuff
Seriously now! What is the Evil Army? And don't give me any of this tea nonsense.
Bah! You're no fun. The Evil Army is a group I formed on the h2g2 website (based on Douglas Adam's Hitcherhikers Guide series). We were going to take over the site through sheer randomness but we discovered it was a lot more fun to just be random without an ulterior motive. And drink tea. (I told you to knock off that tea junk!) Sorry. Anyways, the Evil Army prospered on h2g2, by which I mean that I had a good time and I assume everybody else was too. Through that Kevan brain eating zombie link I discovered Urban Dead and registered an account. My god! It was better than a cup of hot tea on a cold night (I'm serious! Cut it out!). I showed the link to a few friends and they all agreed it was good fun so we decided to link up. We brought up the map drew a few lines and decided on Daltonartside. (Its Dartside!) Whatever. We had a little trouble with the other groups at first because of my love of epic proclamations and stories. ... ... TEA! TEA TEA TEA!
Location
Beete Bank, Dartside. Supposedly anyway. We need to work more on that.
Group Goals
- To have fun.
- To help the other groups have fun, as exists within our power to do so.
- To avenge the tea! ... And hot chocolate.
Unbiased history of the pre-Malton Evil Army
Totally unbiased and unaltered for comedic purposes history of the Evil Army.... In comic form! Its formation. Its rise to power. Its obsession with tea. It will all be here... EVENTUALLY! Use the next comic link in the box below the comic to navigate.
Position on Zombies
The circle of life dictates two things:
- People will die
- And the Lion King will open with a quasi-religious musical number.
This means that people will die and rise again as zombies and go on to star in a Romero movie. If you want to be revived hang around a revive site and we will revive you. Eventually. Theres a lot of you. Whats that? You want to hang around and pick up some zombie skills to better yourself? Good for you! High fives and back claps all around. But you'll have to do it somewhere besides Dartside. Shoo! Run along now!
Expectations of Survivors
Physician, let others heal thyself! That way they get XP. It is expected that Evil Army members assist in the healing of other survivors and the reviving of those poor undead bas- PEOPLE. Those poor undead people that are in Dartside. Also, Evil Army members need to assist in the barricading and fighting and singing and dancing. But if you dance really badly, I can excuse you from that last one.
Human members should have such essential skills such as Free Running or Construction, but the army recognizes that it is best that members learn new skills to best suit their own needs.
Known members
Member - Rank *Level*
- Bocaj Claw - Leader of the Evil Army *40*
- Kitush - Second in command. Master Diplomat. *41*
- Dustman - Advisor to Claw. *13*
- Ur ur *12*
- Ophiuchus *41*
- Tavaron *33*
- Anole *5*
- EvilPotatoGuy *17*
- USCTrojan *1*
- Manicmechanic *1*
- Skan *1*
- Navigatorblack *1*
- Thul *24*
- Angus sporran *15*
- The Doctor - Foreign Representative *22*
- TB Falsename *40*
- HomicidusInfirmorum *25*
- Madelena *23*
- Sacrifer *36*
Diary of a certified loon
Link Here: The EAoH2G2s Diary of a certified loon
Recruitment
An important part of victory is recognizing ones own weaknesses. The army cannot rely solely on its surviving members. As such, the army is welcoming recruits. All that is required is a willingness to put "The Evil Army of H2G2" in the group box in their profile and to travel to Dartside or to our foreign embassy at Crowbank. If you do not wish to join, feel free to hang around anyways. If any Evil Army members have spare FAKs they will be happy to heal you if you ask for it.
Alliances
- The Regulators Alliance - After long talks we have decided to form an alliance. Their page has a better description of the process.
- The Dartside Whiners - You got yourselves a truce fellas.
Enemies
These are people who have wronged the Evil Army in some way. These people attacked Evil Army personnel with no provocation:
- Grrh - This guy has been going around targeting our allies in the Regulator's Alliance and Dartside Whiners. Plus he's killed me a couple times. Plus he's just annoying. Plus he stole the last pudding pop.
Kill on sight if possible and explain your motivation to the people around you.
2. Just David- This guy was a real nasty. His profile basically said I AM A ZOMBIE SPY, and when he came inside he was all friendly and expected people to start an inteeligent conversation. FORTUNATLY, a survivor read his profile and killed him. UNFORTUNATLY, he forgot to dump the body outside. So Just David killed the guy back, and still expected us to be his friend! I killed him, but be careful, he may have showed a small amount of brains and changed his profile.
