The order of the holy shotgun

From The Urban Dead Wiki
Jump to navigationJump to search
The order of the holy shotgun
Abbreviation: The order
Group Numbers: 1
Leadership: God himself
Goals: To undo the vile works of the Devourer.
Recruitment Policy: Only those who are of steel cast faith and iron resolve.
Contact: The order of the holy shotgun requirement page

"And on the eighth day God made the double barreled Remington 12 gauge shotgun, with brushed cobalt steel, engraved mahogany stock and OO Buck depleted uranium Incendiary rounds, then shot a zombie in face and said to it's decapitated body, "It is good."- Genesis 2:2&1/2 (unabridged King James version)

Propaganda Drop.jpg Propaganda
This page contains a heavy load of propaganda. The information stated here might be the truth, might be somewhat similar to the truth, or might be an all out lie. The reader is warned to keep this in mind when reading the matters below.


radio

26.39 MHz

npov

"The rewards of tolerance are treachery and betrayal."

The Order is a group of homicidal religious fanatics devoted to hunting down Traitors(PKers & GKers), Heresy(death cults & Human/Zed Alliances), and the children of the Devourer(Zombies).

A word on rules

Any and all rules and/or guide lines presented below are not to be changed under any circumstances.

  • Revision, all rules may be revised at any time, as long as the previous line is obeyed.

The eighteen commandments of The Order

1-"Thou shalt have no other goal before that of The Order."

2-"Thou shalt not speak to the zombie, for it thinks not."

3-"Thou shalt not listen to the zombie, for it speaketh only heresy ."

4-"Thou shalt not worship the zombie, fore they are the Devourer incarnate."

6-"Thou shalt not tarnish the name of The Order."

7-"Observe the shotgun by keeping it loaded"

8-"Honor your superiors in The Order"

9-"Thou shalt not destroy the works of the engineer priests, the blessed barricade, the sacred generator and the holy transmitter."

10-"Thou shalt not steal the gift of life from the innocent, deny it from the worthy, or let the undeserving keep it."

11-"Thou shalt not bare false witness."

12-"Thou shall be prepared to reclaim the gift from any and all, be it a child a maiden, your family, even the leader of The Order itself."

13-"Protect the hallowed ground of the safe houses by reclaiming the servants of the Devourer."

14-"Sanctify Malton's streets with the blood of Traitors."

15-"Reclaim any who affiliate with the undead even if they protest good intentions."

16-"Ware the vestments of The Order: The crucifix, the red robes, the steel toed boots, and the shotgun, so the innocent will know you and be afraid, wile the guilty shall know you and plead for mercy.

17-"Show no mercy.

18-"When your inquisition has taken you to the hart of the Devourer proclaim his sin, let him speak his case then pass judgment."

The wages of sin*

sin.............................................Punishment

Being in a death cult...........................Death.

PKing...........................................Summary execution.

GKing...........................................Immediate reclamation.

Zerging.........................................1 eternity in hell.

Affiliating with zombies........................Death to every one and every thing you ever held dear, and execution.

Heresy..........................................1 reunion with your fathers.(the dead ones)

Being a zombie..................................repeated execution.

Having the nerve to side with are enemies......Forgiveness, dispensed from the end of a barrel.

Being a thundercat, affiliating with thundercats, knowing a thundercat, living near a thundercat, showing any form of positive emotion to a thundercat and/or anyone related to thundercat, being related to a thundercat, and/or basically doing, not doing, having not having, operating near, around, next to, beside, talking to, thing a bought, giving aid to, not giving aid because of, doing something that under any definition, could be considered, useful to, seeing, hearing, smelling, reading anything a bought, failure to be completely versed in any thing on the subject of, suspecting any member of The Order of being, failure to root out a spy of, breathing air that ever came in contact with, doing any thing that was ever done by a, and/or anything and everything with the word (the){a}thundercat(s)[ing] in it......Punishment will be left to the imagination.

  • Note The Order is not limited to any of these sins and/or punishments. If you would like to object to any judgments pasted by a member of The Order, visit your local chapter so they can BURN YOU LIKE THE TRAITOROUS DOG THAT YOU ARE!!!!

Positions

In The Order you can work with other people with mild to moderate insanity, be completely exuded for even the most atrocious act and partake of are excellent dental plan. Would you like to know more?

Reclaimer

Do you like killing things? Do you hate Hierarchy? Do you have a shotgun? Then join the reclaimers, these "Holy hit men" wander Malton on personal crusades dispensing judgments as needed. Some times you will be called to do the lord's dirty work. Job description is that you will be a troubleshooter, ie... Finding trouble and shooting it. Combat expertise recommended and a lack of any scene of morals. current reclaimers: none

Exemplar

Fight on the fount lines of the war on Zed as a Exemplar! go toe to toe with the forces of the Devourer, and as an added plus this position can be done with a clear Conscience, mostly. combat expertise is demanded. current Exemplars: none

Secrator

Lead the masses of The Order as a Secrator, by preaching the word of God to all, keeping The Order running smoothly, starting a new chapter in your aria and presiding over Order affairs and campaigns. maintaining are wiki presence. Good social skills are a must as is a high degree of strategic knowledge. WARNING! This is a bureaucratic job if you are not ready to have the bureaucracy expand to meet the needs of the expanding bureaucracy, this job is not for you! current Secrators: none

Zealots

If you lack any skills worth having but still want to be part of The Order? Now you can! Zealots form a vary crucial role hear at The Order, as footstools and cannon fodder. You must be wiling to give your life for Aire. current Zealots: none

Saints

Only God can appoint a saint, and only God tells them what they must do. Saints:

St. Fin

Conscription

If you would like to join The Order please submit your resume in novatuplicate to the requirement office where we will promptly file it, loose it, find it again, put them in rainbow colored folders drop them in a peat bog, dig them out, feed them to a zombie, kill the zombie, then burn the corpse in a orange fireplace.

Chapters

Genesis Chapter-Buttonville

patron saint: Ed Fin

Genesis was, is and will be the most sacred and holy of all, for out of Buttonville we came and to Buttonville we return. Any who wish to join The Order at any time any place must make a pilgrimage to St. Columbanus's Church, ware Ed Fin the First Saint of Order entered a mere man and was stuck by the will divine inspiring him to form The Order itself.

Enemies

Crush them utterly, shatter there forces, run down there fleeing troops. Pursue them to their lairs and burn them out. Burst into their unholy temples, smash down there icons and topple there foul idols. Slaughter their followers, their families and their livestock lest any of their taint remain. And when that is done, put the ruins to the torch. Excise the records of their names, expunge their deeds from the annals of history and remove the memory of their existence. Make them a bunt offering to God! - By holy decree of St. Fin

In order of hatred, descending:

1 the Thundercats
2 the Church of the Resurrection
3 The Evangelical Order of the Return to Eden
4 the Cult of Nivelon

Brandish this message to are enemies with grate conviction.

How are you Heretics !!

War is beginning.

we set you up the bomb.

All your base are belong to us.

You are on the way to destruction.

You have no chance to survive make your time.

Ha ha ha ha....

For The Order.

And great justice!

Goals

The ends always justify the means.

Malton is are world now, ye that accept this are wise. This battle will not be decided by he that wins the most, but he what looses lest. The battle with the Devourer shall never end, but order, order can be achieved. We are no military, for no army is large enough to keep a suburb, but faith alone can overturn all Malton.

operation "co-existence"

Bring fire and bring shell and heap all upon the pyre. With flame and gun we shall lock life and death for all eternity. We shall make everlasting peace though never ending warfare. So it is writ, so shall it be.

Holy Days

Novus ordo

Ultima Cumaei venit iam carminis aetas;

Magnus ab integro saeclorum nascitur ordo.

iam redit et Virgo, redeunt Saturnia regna

iam nova progenies caelo demittitur alto.

On the 9th of April the faithful shall gather in the houses of the lord, if it be in the hands of the undead the faithful shall purge it, if no they shall bait the undead to fight there, for on this day we bathe the alters of Malton with the blood of zombies, that the lord will observe are willingness to fight and give us his blessing.

The High Bureaucracy

Those glorious Secrators at work.

Hear secrators are to display any and all things that may or may not fall under there delegation. ie... laws, rules, the order of operations for operation orders, policy, the construction of sub pages for: requests, applications, verifications, reclaimer's union codes,(to make it impossible to confirm nor deny any crimes they may or may not have committed.) sub-sub pages for internal affairs, sub-sub-sub pages for reclamation orders etc... And most importantly peace negotiations with the Thundercats(I want red tape so thick they'll need Moses to part it!)

Items on the agenda:

Creating an advertisement to entice new members.

Extras

Firingsquad.jpg Firing Squad
Yes we can be friends, gust hold still....
Andjusticeforall.jpg ...And Justice For All
"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." -Edmund Burke

"Evil unchecked grows, evil tolerated poisons the whole system." -Jawaharlal Nehru

Gladiatorial Arena.jpg Gladiatorial Arena Policy Supporter
This user or group supports the Gladiatorial Arena Policy & acknowledges that all stadiums in Malton are gladiatorial areas, in which the killing of another survivor is not a crime and therefore not punishable in any way.