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Welcome to the Extreme Ironing page. If you wish to return to the Upper Left Corner then go ahead.
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Well the format of the page is now pretty much set although I don't have time to go through and correct any spelling errors at the moment. I will try and do that in the next few days but no promises Pillsy 16:55, 25 July 2006 (BST)
Details
Date - 2nd March 2006
Time - 00:21 to 00:55 GMT
Shortly after midnight on Thursday 2nd March 2006, the first ULC Extreme Ironing even was held outside the Upper Left Corner of Caiger Mall. This is one of the most well recieved ULC events to date, mainly because all the contestants were killed during the event proving the ULCs dedication to fun.
A special thanks go out to all of the contestants who are listed below and also to swedishdav, for being there at the start and also the zombie horde, because if it were not for them it would not have been extreme. Also from myself I'd like to thank Leslie Brant, the Quack? man for being able to keep the full log on the old forunms. So anyway, that is enough talk and it is now onto the even itself.
Participants
In order of appearance
- Arthur Cottle
- Lord Tin Tin
- David Suzuki
- Holly Day
- Queep
Special Mentions
- swedishdav
- The Zombie Horde
The Event
- Arthur Cottle said "*drumroll*"
- swedishdav said "haha! what you on mofo?"
- Arthur Cottle said "Zombies and swedishdav, you are privileged to witness the first ever ULC Extreme Ironing contest!"
- Lord Tin Tin said "Welcome!** Unfolds ironing board with awesome style*"
- swedishdav said "i'm damn excited!"
- Lord Tin Tin said "Its gonna get hot!"
- swedishdav said "i only have 6 ap.... can we continue this in the warehouse 1 ne?"
- Arthur Cottle said "Right. ULC Extreme Ironers... ARE YOU READY???"
- Lord Tin Tin said "**Pulls out shirt stained with blood**"
- David Suzuki said "*Whips portable ironing board from under trenchcoat with a flourish. Sets up ironing board, gets out solar-powered iron and spray bottle, pulls a shirt off the nearest zombie*"
- Arthur Cottle said "UNGH! as he heroically erects his Extreme Ironing Board. Ready!"
- Lord Tin Tin said "Ready as Iwill ever be"
- David Suzuki said "Haven't you guys ever heard of creases before? This is disgusting! You haven't even got the cuffs buttoned up! *Shakes excess gore and skin from shirt, and throws over ironing board*"
- David Suzuki said "OK, now, I like to start with the arms. You fold them onto the board, give them a quick spray and start ironing! *Presses iron onto sleeve. A faint pork smell fills the air*"
- swedishdav said "well i'll be in the warehouse! have fun"
- Lord Tin Tin said "**woosh!!! as he pulls his iron from under his frock oh yeh"
- Arthur Cottle said "Okay! ULC Extreme Ironers... IRON!!!"
- David Suzuki said "Now, you run the iron up and down each sleeve, then you do the back of the shirt. Oh, you! This shirt's ripped! I know you're a good-looking zombie, but it's rather uncouth to show flesh like that."
- Lord Tin Tin said "**Lays wrinkled shirt on ironing board in an extreme fashion**"
- Arthur Cottle said "Gah! Die, undead abomination! BLAM!!!, as he smooths out the tricky corners of a beige sock. Phew, close call."
- David Suzuki said "Ooops, sorry Sir, I jumped the gun. That zombie was getting keen for a nicely pressed shirt, I think. He bit me when I took it off him."
- Holly Day said "Hurrah! Ironing!"
- Lord Tin Tin said "Oh my how creased!"
- David Suzuki said "Ow! Please, get in line! I'm doing this out of the goodness of my heart, and you're attacking me! Get in line, NOW! *Squirts zombie with spray bottle*"
- Lord Tin Tin said "ARGH its on my face!**pulls wrinkled shirt off face** thats it**3 fast swips and its done!**"
- Arthur Cottle said "Back, vile fiends! You may take our brains but you will NEVER TAKE OUR FABRIC SOFTENER!"
- Lord Tin Tin said "**sssssssssssssssshh as the steam bursts from tinners iron* oh yeh baby"
- David Suzuki said "Now I'm infected, that's no fun! OK to the front of the shirt now. You spread it over the board, so *carefully does as he says* then, you rub the iron in small strokes along it, like so..."
- Holly Day said "Careful with the starch. We don't want the zombies to be *too* stiff."
- Arthur Cottle said "Chaps, I having trouble with this bit around the button. Any advice?"
- A zombie said "Zambah hag humans... Zambah rrh humans"
- Lord Tin Tin said "oh take that you crease monster** spins iron on finger**"
- A zombie said "Brnhr."
- A zombie said "MRRRAAARRRM MRRggg"
- A zombie said "MRRRAAARRRM MRRggg mrh? Mrh? Mrh? Mrh?"
- David Suzuki said "*Is almost finished shirt when zombie grabs him from behind, causing him to push down hard and burn the shirt* OH, NOW LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE! You fool! This was almost record time!"
- Lord Tin Tin said "Oh okay,** takes zombies jacket** My lord this is so creased! fabric softener stat!"
- You heard a loud and low groaning from somewhere nearby.
- Arthur Cottle said "Dammit, I can't get this crease out! I'm not going to make it!"
- Lord Tin Tin said "Hold on I'll do your aswell!** in some awesome and extreme way tinners irons 3 shirst at once** smokin"
- David Suzuki said "Well, I guess I'll have to start over. *Starts ironing Ghostwalker's shirt while Ghostwalker is grabbing him*"
- A zombie said "Harh harh harh"
- Lord Tin Tin said "**zombie knocks over ironing board** HOW DARE YOU!!! this will take me a few minutes to fix** starts setting up board**"
- Holly Day said "When touring a mall, zombies, it's important to put your best foot forward. Barring that, someone else's best foot."
- David Suzuki said "*pulls out double spray bottles, and starts wetting down several zombies* Now you're in for it. All that wrinkly skin... It's going to get seriously pressed!"
- A zombie said "Am human, human gang marh, human harh ma raa? Na harm humans- am human, na zambah.. Mrh ma mrh ma? Am human!"
- Arthur Cottle said "Victory!!!! as he finishes a pair of natty tartan boxers. Next!"
- Lord Tin Tin said "This is great havent felt so excited since creedy iron compitition!"
- A zombie killed Lord Tin Tin.
- Arthur Cottle said "Damn you, zombie horde! Would it kill you to look smart just once in a while?"
- A zombie said "Nrh rrN rAH AN rh Mrh!"
- A zombie said "Graaaagh!"
- A zombie said "Rh rh anrhrrh hrrh rh rh rn hrh rrrnrng brarh"
- Arthur Cottle said "Now for the real test. Now to sort out the men from the boys. That's right: it's long-johns time."
- A zombie said "Hrh rn hrh , ba rh hrh rnrh rrh rrh!"
- David Suzuki said "Peterbluer, your skin is all creepy! Here, take this! *Bends Peter over one knee, and irons his back* There, all nice and brown. You'll be the envy of everyone at the beach!"
- A zombie said "Hrh hrrrrrh!"
- A zombie killed David Suzuki.
- A zombie said "Nah!!!! Zambah gangbang humans! BANANARAMA! Rahh harrh harh harh!!"
- Holly Day said "Oh, look what they've gone and done! Eating Lord Tin Tin just made a mess!"
- A zombie said "BANANARAMMA GANABANG?!"
- Arthur Cottle said "Yea, though I iron in the valley of the shadow of death, yet shall I fear no evil..."
- A zombie killed Arthur Cottle.
- A zombie said "Mrh mrh mrh!! Rrrnrng rh rn"
- Holly Day said "Don't worry, zombies! I'll OxyClean you! Gets blood right out! Oh, yes, and that little bit of Lord Tin Tin on your collar."
- A zombie said "Rrn hrh rrn!"
- A zombie said "Rh BrrNG rrh!"
- A zombie said "BANANARAMA GANGBANG!!!! Bannana bannana!! Marrz zarrz gangbang bazaarh n humans!"
- A zombie killed Holly Day.
Queep's Late Effort
This is where the original log ended but after a stroke of luck, I was browsing the old desensitized forums and came across something that looked familiar. Yes, it just so happens that Queep came in with a late (and fairly foul mouthed) entry. It was about 6 minutes after Holly Day was killed, so here it is.
- A zombie said "Han hrh!"
- A zombie said "Rm banana"
- A zombie said "Hrrrh rh brbrh?"
- A zombie said "Graaaagh!"
- A zombie said "Hra rh hra arng brrrrh rh hra rh rrrh rarn, harh rrh rrn m grrh, Brbrh?"
- A zombie said "Harh harh!"
- Queep said "Wait a minute, i see ironing boards all over the ground... S***! I missed it"
- A zombie said "Harn rrn Brbrh, rh? Rh, rh. Rh rrh rrrng. Rh rrh rrh hra zrmbrrh grrh, hrrgh, rarh nrh rn hrh barrrarh an rh mrh nrh. Hra!"
- A zombie said "Rrrrn rh ha rrh?"
- Holly Day said "Thanks, Queep!"
- Queep said "oh well, while I'm here *pulls out own ironing board and iron* Try not to get any of my blood on the shirt, it's my best one after all"
- Holly Day said "Remember, zombies, if you see my goldfish Bobo, be sure to knock on the barricades and let me know. Don't stay up too late!"
- A zombie said "Mrh?"
- Queep said "Lets see, power, i need power *Drops portable generator and fuels it* Ah, there we go. *plugs in iron* Time to get down to business"
- Queep said "Dum diddle diddle dum dee, *moves shirt to the edge* gotta get the sleeves too"
- David Suzuki said "Phew! That was fun. Uh, good luck, Queep... I'm going inside now *nurses severe burns from dying on iron* Later! This brought to you by the ULCers!"
- Queep said "Hey Alan Lomax, stop biting me *shoves iron in Alan's face* Eat the burn punk"
- A zombie said "Graaaagh!"
- Queep said "Aww, RedMage? You too? Oh well, I guess it wouldn't be extreme ironing with the zombies biting..."
- Queep said "So, uh, while you guys are trenchcoating, can you snap a picture of this? Maybe I can get into next year's extreme ironing calendar!!!"
- A zombie said "Rrrh, rh nrrh rrrh brarnz, rrrh. Rrn rh!"
- Queep said "Ok, thats it, you asked for it *Grabs RedMage's and Alan's shirts* Now yours get ironed too!! *Irons the shirts neatly and returns them*"
- Queep said "Man, this is really starting to burn and... BASTARDS!!! I TOLD YOU NOT TO GET BLOOD ON MY SHIRT!"
- A zombie said "Nrh mah hrrh!"
- Queep said "*picks up ironing board and swings it at zombies like a broadsword!!!!"
- Queep said "Anyone else want their shirts ironed while I'm here and alive?"
- Queep said "Don't forget to unplug the iron once I die guys, we wouldn't want to start a fire, now would we? Someone might burn themselves on it too!"
- A zombie killed Queep.
- A zombie said "Mrh?"
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