Upper Left Corner/Upper Left Corner Possessions
...
 | |||||||||||
| News · The Monarchy · History · Possessions · Events · Forums | |||||||||||
|
Q. What exactly makes the Upper Left Corner of the mall different from the other corners? A. Not only does the Upper Left Corner have the last Royal Family in all of Malton, they also have a lot of cool stuff. While other survivors loot for useful things, such as ammo and first aid kits, ULCers loot for fun things! As you find more items on your travels, add them to the list and watch the collection get bigger. Here's what we have so far:Items of DistinctionA pretty damn big Silly Putty Ball, with a duck named Leslie Brant and several (dead) puppies stuck to it. (Slightly bigger than it used to be.)
Random OthersA watermelon flavoured spermicidal lube slip-and-slide A lock of Ron Burgundy's hair A quasi-scary Stephen King-esque monster who lurks behind the empties; more commonly known as He Who Walks Behind The Rows Of Empty Bottles The Allspark A karaoke machine 50+ empty shotgun shells, which were emptied in Cowboy Up. A plastic trees shrine. Still looking for an oracle. A well-thumbed pile of "Guns&Katana" and "Dark-Stranger" magazines A bunch of random happy face stickers with keane slobber on them. Quincy Corvus brought us a zombie head-in-a-box with a can opener stuck in his eye! His name is Pete. Uwe Bolls' "Alone In The Dark" which apparently was the only thing left as we raided the videostore. A tribble in the shape of a dust bunny A riddle inside a mystery wrapped in an enigma A crate of deflated kinky sex dolls - all manner of men, women, and mollusc The body of Jimmy Hoffa Fourteen point one five seven two pounds of silly A fluffing machine A signed picture of 'The Hoff' 'The Hoff' A Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man Pencil Sharpener Bobo, the zombie goldfish (may be using Pete's skull as a fishbowl, favorite trick: "playing dead") Shrubbery Another shrubbery, only slightly higher so you get the two-level effect with a little path running down the middle. A Blythville Slugger Baseball Bat signed in green crayon with the words "Vaynol 'Cowboy' Keen, Malton Marauders #35" and stained with zombie viscera A pet zombie. (Currently missing, people keep killing our pet zombies and throwing them over the plastic tree barricades) A crate with several hundred pirate eyepatches and a few plastic parrots. A crate with several hundred ninja masks and a few plastic shuriken. A Russian roulette-table A mysterious armored briefcase, with attached handcuff A crate of rubber duckies A crate of Aqua Cd's being used in various ways (target practice, frizbees, coasters.) A bunch of Arcade Games, including, but not limited to, DDR Extreme and The House of the Dead 3. Some of your favorites might be back there too, go check it out! A monkey, currently coated in neon-orange spraypaint. Last seen scaling the interior walls. A lock of David Hasselhoff's beautiful curly hair. The Ark of the Covenant (Note to Nazis: DO NOT OPEN) Mjolnir A bag of weed along with some puffing equipment. Tri-ominoes. Fun for the whole family! A Balrog. An old man yelling at the Balrog "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!". Baldor curled up in a corner giggling about the Balrog The One Ring A deck of cards missing that Eight of diamonds and Two of spades. An bicycle dynamo being powered by a pair of detached zombie legs. A sonic screwdriver. Mason Jeffries' Ding a Ling (I lost it sometime between now and when I got here) A copy of the long-lost third season of Dead Like Me(A guy can hope, can't he) The meaning of life. A set of 7 polyhedral dice. An original copy of the bible. A nothing, or really a whole bunch of nothings, everywhere. Anyone know what these are good for? Mine doesn't expire till next year. Baldor's sanity in a little jar Jesus. He's in Alexander Waldgrave's pants. Jay and Silent Bob A knight of the round table (Table itself is currently missing) A cute fuzzy harmless bunny. A lumberjack with a sexual preference problem A Big Red Button That Should Never Be Pressed Under Any Circumstancestm The Maledict The Trapizedagon A blue candle An X-wing. It's idling right next to the knight of the round table. The 13th apostle A red Swingline stapler A copy of RHPS and portable projector A PS3? Damn man, they're not out yet! A list of lists called Listy A 'Of Mice And Men' knock-off called 'Of FAKs And Brains' A Mutant Space Yeti. Dont piss him off. He feeds on the blood of children! BATTLE GOAT! The Hatch The left emergency exit of Oceanic Flight 815 29 Antonio Banderas blow up dolls and 1 doll of Angelina Jolie and 1 of Jenna Jameson both hidden in Joes fortress of solitude The beginning of a fort made out of newspapers, with a moat filled with vodka(?) planned. It is going to be big enough to protect everyone from Tonya! A DDR machine, an In The Grove 2 machine, an Initial D v3 machine, and a Maximum Tune Midnight 2 machine. Hot damn, we've got the start of a video arcade here! A pair of Chuck Norris's shoes (caution: danger of round-house kick in the face if yee approach) The entry door to a Minuteman nuclear missile silo, propped up against the Root Beer Fountain, eerily lit by its flaming glory. Leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeroy Jenkins!!!!!!!!11 (last seen runing wildly into a mob of zombies) William Shatner's hairpiece the head knight of "NI"s helmet Patrick Moores monacle Hugh Heffner in a cage (fed once a day) Three Zombie Giraffes™ Porn Stars. A cage for the three Zombie Giraffes™. A collection of AOL and Windows ME CDs. The missing link A giant cross of kryptonite for protection against dracula... and superman TMH swedish's stack of douijinshii manga and anime DVD collection, neatly organized and stolen from Suncoast and Barnes and Noble. He'll be more than happy to share if you politely ask, and be more than willing to sodomize you with a loaded shotgun if he finds out you stole it from him. The Jaguar Shark with whats looks like the remains of Esteban in his mouth. ESTEBAN! ESTEBAN! He's Got Crazy Eye! No SECRET KEITH whatsoever. No sir, not here. Nuh uh. We don't even know what a SECRET KEITH is. A Secret Keith, which by some peculiarity of spacetime is both in the ULC and in Dorset. It looks flimsy and unthreatening, almost as if constructed of nothing more than balsa wood and canvas. No zombie spy could think for a second that the Secret Keith might in any way threaten the zombie hegemony. A Time Warp, which seems to have been done again. And again. And again. Ad infintium. A large stash of HP Sauce, the finest sauce ever created, hoarded by Caldwell and heavily guarded by numerous goons. Legend has it that whomsoever tastes the precious sauce in a toasted bacon sandwich shall be given the knowledge of the cosmos. The knowledge of the cosmos. An octopus headed figurine. The color out of space. A Yiddish Cup. A GDI Commando. A piece of CABAL's central core. A Tiberium harvester (the refinery's out in Notlam). A Tesla Coil disguised as a Christmas tree. A Giant Floating Tiberium JellyFish. A Kane Action Figure, complete with goatee and kung-fu grip. A Portal. A Headcrab (Currently being poked). A Dead Headcrab Zombie. A Dead Zombine. A red Crowbar. Barney Calhoun A circle with which pi somehow equals exactly 3 Several betamax copies of old classics including the entire Police Academy Series. A copy of the Necronomicon (The Book of the Damned). It once belonged to a revived member of The Dark Order of Armageddon but it was lost when she was taking a break from being a death cultist to play on the DDR machine.... It is now an impressive Armada of paper boats that are floating in the Root Beer fountain Baal A pile of action figures labelled as "The Fireman" with eye spitting action when helmet is rubbed. 75% of them have not been removed from the box and they've run out of liquid to spit in your eye due to being tried too many times from the "try me" space. An Angry Dome, so you can vent out your anger in there without anyone else hearing it. If anyone needed them, they'd be in the Angry Dome The zombie antidote, bottled in a 2-liter Mountain Dew Bottle. It's Orange-flavored. Ironhyde's missing testicle (now reattached to Ironhyde). Bjorners "Shark Bag" which he lost when his clothes were burned during a solo game of strip twister (which he lost, incidentally) during the historic siege of St. Ethelberts Hospital. A copy of a book, the spine saying "The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy," and "DON'T PANIC" on the cover. Walt Disney's frozen head Adolf Hitler's frozen head with the words "Insert Dick Here" scribbled on the chin The Holy Grail. It is currently filled with Hawaiian Punch and gives off the faint stench of urine Elvis Presly's dead twin A painting of Jesus in the likeness of a raptor......strange.... The Shroud of Turin A mint condition copy of Valkyrie Profile for the Sony Playstation An anger powered jetpack The One Ring to Rule Them All The alternate ending reel of It's a Wonderful Life. Labeled "Killing Spree Version" A Deathnote. Some names written in it are: Santa Claus, Anna Nicole Smith, Evel Knievel, Kurt Vonnegut, and John McCain A Spray bottle labeled "Death" with the words "Point Away from Face" written underneath A Nuke
| ||||||||||
