Upper Left Corner/Upper Left Corner Possessions

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A Silly Putty Ball


A magnificent Throne


An eternal Root Beer fountain


Numerous other beverages


'Plenteous fine comestibles


Assorted articles of clothing


A former death cultist or 2


A Portable Bar


Seriously, I forgot how much crap was on this page. Anyway, this is the possession and soon it will look alot better than it does.

Q. What exactly makes the Upper Left Corner of the mall different from the other corners?

A. Not only does the Upper Left Corner have the last Royal Family in all of Malton, they also have a lot of cool stuff. While other survivors loot for useful things, such as ammo and first aid kits, ULCers loot for fun things!

As you find more items on your travels, add them to the list and watch the collection get bigger.

Here's what we have so far:

Items of Distinction

A pretty damn big Silly Putty Ball, with a duck named Leslie Brant and several (dead) puppies stuck to it. (Slightly bigger than it used to be.)


A magnificent Throne, once no more than a old armchair, but now transformed by the addition of: a Golden Colostomy Bag serving as cushion (not yet plumbed in; scientists are determining if its hue is caused by its mineral value or its contents); the Mona Lisa serving as backrest; the severed arms of a zombie stripper serving as, well, arms; three lava lamps (one red, two blue) mounted on said arms in order to illuminate the Royal Visage and enable subjects to determine which way the Throne is facing in darkness; a multitude of Shiny Things stuck on at random for general decoration; an oversized Magic Eight Ball (most common prediction: "Signs point to undead attack") serving as Royal Orb; the Golden Plunger of DOOOOOM! serving as Royal Sceptre; a blue Police Public Call Box, circa 1965 placed underneath the Throne to make the Monarch look taller (it seems to be humming, leading some to question the wisdom of employing this item in a structural role); a piece of the TRIFORCE (propping up the back left leg - formerly Ixian391's leg - which is slightly shorter than the others).


An eternal Root Beer fountain, to honor the memory of Cowboy Up. It continuously feeds on itself. Through the efforts of rechargable batteries and some laws of physics no one quite understands, it will keep going as long as there is a generator running in the corner for at least a minute each day. To protect it from spit and urine and the like, the Taco Bell it is in has its gate lowered and locked. Luckily, the Root Beer fountain is still in plain view. Black Scotty managed to pollute the fountain with his Firehose Of Justice, but don't worry, the root beer still tastes good.


Numerous other beverages, including: a Poland Spring watercooler filled with whiskey; 100 cases of Crystal Pepsi, circa 1991; a soda fountain with a base 25% 15%* chance of dispensing the desired flavor of soda (+15% with the "Food Court Employee" skill) (*updated to reflect the latest Search Odds); a Whiskey Fountain (possibly tainted with urine, but still alcohol-poisoning good!); an 8 litre bottle of rola-cola that no-one's ever going to drink.


Plenteous fine comestibles, including: many chocolate baby halves; a crate containing about 20 Dead Chickens that looks like it's from Asia; a box of "Dr. Seuss' Green Eggs and Ham" breakfast cereal (a part of your complete breakfast - crispy bacon pieces for flakes with green egg-shaped-and-flavored marshmellows!); a Flying Tomato; a replica of the Stanley Cup made out of Waffles and ice cream; a handful of magic beans; waffles made with Turkey Hill brand Party Cake icecream and covered in killer bee honey (made by our official Zombie Spy, for a limited time only!); a moldy egg salad sandwich... I think.


Assorted articles of clothing, including: a pair of Hello Kitty Earmuffs; a pair of assless chaps (believed by the Possession Reorganization Committee to be a form of risque cowboy attire, in case you were wondering); Leslie Brant's missing pants; a Downy-fresh argyle sock filled with nickels; a hot-air balloon constructed entirely from ladies' pantaloons; a large pile made up of all the socks that have ever disappeared from a dryer; a womblepouch. (At present this one of only two known mentions of womblepouch known to google which renders it both difficult to classify and, well, kinda kewl.)


a former death cultist or 2. Aparently the ULC is so powerfull it even turned a few of the Dark Popes followers away from him and into the joy that is in the ULC. And although they don't really belong to the ULC, its still cool to mention that they are here now. Also note that Teia was the one who lost the Necronomicon in the ULC when playong on the DDR machine , she no longer wants it back.


A Portable Bar that was found when looking in the liquor store in Blesley Mall. Comes with its own generator and unlimited supply of fuel so the beer is always cold. Also folds away into the shape of a pint glass. You can also get +10% to find shotgun shells in gun stores when you have the Portable Bar Carrier skill which is a sub skill of Bartender.

Random Others

A watermelon flavoured spermicidal lube slip-and-slide

Class

A lock of Ron Burgundy's hair

A quasi-scary Stephen King-esque monster who lurks behind the empties; more commonly known as He Who Walks Behind The Rows Of Empty Bottles

The Stay Puft marshmallow man

The Allspark

A karaoke machine

50+ empty shotgun shells, which were emptied in Cowboy Up.

A plastic trees shrine. Still looking for an oracle.

A well-thumbed pile of "Guns&Katana" and "Dark-Stranger" magazines

A bunch of random happy face stickers with keane slobber on them.

Quincy Corvus brought us a zombie head-in-a-box with a can opener stuck in his eye! His name is Pete.

Uwe Bolls' "Alone In The Dark" which apparently was the only thing left as we raided the videostore.

A tribble in the shape of a dust bunny

A riddle inside a mystery wrapped in an enigma

A crate of deflated kinky sex dolls - all manner of men, women, and mollusc

The body of Jimmy Hoffa

Fourteen point one five seven two pounds of silly

A fluffing machine

A signed picture of 'The Hoff'

'The Hoff'

A Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man Pencil Sharpener

Bobo, the zombie goldfish (may be using Pete's skull as a fishbowl, favorite trick: "playing dead")

Shrubbery

Another shrubbery, only slightly higher so you get the two-level effect with a little path running down the middle.

A Blythville Slugger Baseball Bat signed in green crayon with the words "Vaynol 'Cowboy' Keen, Malton Marauders #35" and stained with zombie viscera

A pet zombie. (Currently missing, people keep killing our pet zombies and throwing them over the plastic tree barricades)

A crate with several hundred pirate eyepatches and a few plastic parrots.

A crate with several hundred ninja masks and a few plastic shuriken.

A Russian roulette-table

A mysterious armored briefcase, with attached handcuff

A crate of rubber duckies

A crate of Aqua Cd's being used in various ways (target practice, frizbees, coasters.)

A bunch of Arcade Games, including, but not limited to, DDR Extreme and The House of the Dead 3. Some of your favorites might be back there too, go check it out!

A monkey, currently coated in neon-orange spraypaint. Last seen scaling the interior walls.

A lock of David Hasselhoff's beautiful curly hair.

The Ark of the Covenant (Note to Nazis: DO NOT OPEN)

Mjolnir

A bag of weed along with some puffing equipment.

Tri-ominoes. Fun for the whole family!

A Balrog.

An old man yelling at the Balrog "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!".

Baldor curled up in a corner giggling about the Balrog

The One Ring

A deck of cards missing that Eight of diamonds and Two of spades.

An bicycle dynamo being powered by a pair of detached zombie legs.

A sonic screwdriver.

Mason Jeffries' Ding a Ling (I lost it sometime between now and when I got here)

A copy of the long-lost third season of Dead Like Me(A guy can hope, can't he)

The meaning of life.

A set of 7 polyhedral dice.

An original copy of the bible.

A nothing, or really a whole bunch of nothings, everywhere. Anyone know what these are good for? Mine doesn't expire till next year.

Baldor's sanity in a little jar

Jesus. He's in Alexander Waldgrave's pants.

Jay and Silent Bob

A knight of the round table (Table itself is currently missing)

A cute fuzzy harmless bunny.

A lumberjack with a sexual preference problem

A Big Red Button That Should Never Be Pressed Under Any Circumstancestm

The Maledict

The Trapizedagon

A blue candle

An X-wing. It's idling right next to the knight of the round table.

The 13th apostle

A red Swingline stapler

A copy of RHPS and portable projector

A PS3? Damn man, they're not out yet!

A list of lists called Listy

A 'Of Mice And Men' knock-off called 'Of FAKs And Brains'

A Mutant Space Yeti. Dont piss him off. He feeds on the blood of children!

BATTLE GOAT!

The Hatch

The left emergency exit of Oceanic Flight 815

29 Antonio Banderas blow up dolls and 1 doll of Angelina Jolie and 1 of Jenna Jameson both hidden in Joes fortress of solitude

The beginning of a fort made out of newspapers, with a moat filled with vodka(?) planned. It is going to be big enough to protect everyone from Tonya!

A DDR machine, an In The Grove 2 machine, an Initial D v3 machine, and a Maximum Tune Midnight 2 machine. Hot damn, we've got the start of a video arcade here!

A pair of Chuck Norris's shoes (caution: danger of round-house kick in the face if yee approach)

The entry door to a Minuteman nuclear missile silo, propped up against the Root Beer Fountain, eerily lit by its flaming glory.

Leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeroy Jenkins!!!!!!!!11 (last seen runing wildly into a mob of zombies)

William Shatner's hairpiece

the head knight of "NI"s helmet

Patrick Moores monacle

Hugh Heffner in a cage (fed once a day)

Three Zombie Giraffes™ Porn Stars.

A cage for the three Zombie Giraffes™.

Some Xtreme Ironing Boards

A collection of AOL and Windows ME CDs.

The missing link

A giant cross of kryptonite for protection against dracula... and superman

TMH swedish's stack of douijinshii manga and anime DVD collection, neatly organized and stolen from Suncoast and Barnes and Noble. He'll be more than happy to share if you politely ask, and be more than willing to sodomize you with a loaded shotgun if he finds out you stole it from him.

The Jaguar Shark with whats looks like the remains of Esteban in his mouth. ESTEBAN! ESTEBAN! He's Got Crazy Eye!

No SECRET KEITH whatsoever. No sir, not here. Nuh uh. We don't even know what a SECRET KEITH is.

A Secret Keith, which by some peculiarity of spacetime is both in the ULC and in Dorset. It looks flimsy and unthreatening, almost as if constructed of nothing more than balsa wood and canvas. No zombie spy could think for a second that the Secret Keith might in any way threaten the zombie hegemony.

A Time Warp, which seems to have been done again. And again. And again. Ad infintium.

A large stash of HP Sauce, the finest sauce ever created, hoarded by Caldwell and heavily guarded by numerous goons. Legend has it that whomsoever tastes the precious sauce in a toasted bacon sandwich shall be given the knowledge of the cosmos.

The knowledge of the cosmos.

An octopus headed figurine.

The color out of space.

A Yiddish Cup.

A GDI Commando.

A piece of CABAL's central core.

A Tiberium harvester (the refinery's out in Notlam).

A Tesla Coil disguised as a Christmas tree.

A Giant Floating Tiberium JellyFish.

A Kane Action Figure, complete with goatee and kung-fu grip.

A Portal.

A Headcrab (Currently being poked).

A Dead Headcrab Zombie.

A Dead Zombine.

A red Crowbar.

Barney Calhoun

A circle with which pi somehow equals exactly 3

Several betamax copies of old classics including the entire Police Academy Series.

A copy of the Necronomicon (The Book of the Damned). It once belonged to a revived member of The Dark Order of Armageddon but it was lost when she was taking a break from being a death cultist to play on the DDR machine.... It is now an impressive Armada of paper boats that are floating in the Root Beer fountain

Baal

A pile of action figures labelled as "The Fireman" with eye spitting action when helmet is rubbed. 75% of them have not been removed from the box and they've run out of liquid to spit in your eye due to being tried too many times from the "try me" space.

An Angry Dome, so you can vent out your anger in there without anyone else hearing it. If anyone needed them, they'd be in the Angry Dome

The zombie antidote, bottled in a 2-liter Mountain Dew Bottle. It's Orange-flavored.

Ironhyde's missing testicle (now reattached to Ironhyde).

Bjorners "Shark Bag" which he lost when his clothes were burned during a solo game of strip twister (which he lost, incidentally) during the historic siege of St. Ethelberts Hospital.

A copy of a book, the spine saying "The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy," and "DON'T PANIC" on the cover.

Walt Disney's frozen head

Adolf Hitler's frozen head with the words "Insert Dick Here" scribbled on the chin

The Holy Grail. It is currently filled with Hawaiian Punch and gives off the faint stench of urine

Elvis Presly's dead twin

A painting of Jesus in the likeness of a raptor......strange....

The Shroud of Turin

A mint condition copy of Valkyrie Profile for the Sony Playstation

An anger powered jetpack

The One Ring to Rule Them All

The alternate ending reel of It's a Wonderful Life. Labeled "Killing Spree Version"

A Deathnote. Some names written in it are: Santa Claus, Anna Nicole Smith, Evel Knievel, Kurt Vonnegut, and John McCain

A Spray bottle labeled "Death" with the words "Point Away from Face" written underneath

A Nuke

  • As you find other fun things in our corner, be sure to post them here!


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