A flippy lil' dolphin
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Dolphins
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| This user thinks dolphins are better than killer whales, and would totally be a dolphin, but with wings and lasers and shit.
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Killer Whales
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| This user thinks killer whales are better than dolphins, and would totally be a killer whale, but with wings and missiles and shit.
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Jellyfish
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| This user knows that killer whales ARE dolphins, and would totally be a giant mutant jellyfish, but with wings and rocket launchers and shit.
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A few basics to know about us dolphins
Contrary to our popular media image, we do bite back. We enjoy biting. While I do not hunt my fellow zombies and I'm usually very kind to zombies, if a fellow zombie decides to hurt me, my immediate reaction will be to attack back. See this gorgeous mouth of mine? It's as hard as a baseball bat. If a zombie persists in killing me repeatedly, I will kill them back. If you annoy me like that, I will remember you. We dolphins have a good memory.
Unfortunately, though, we don't have very long attention spans for any one subject.
Bottlenose dolphins are not fish. Bottlenose dolphins are mammals. In other words, bottlenose dolphins have live birth, mammary glands, hair, internal temperature regulation, and breathe air directly into our lungs. Therefore any references you make about me being a fish will be interpreted as both an insult and as more proof that humans are much more stupid than bottlenose dolphins. I'm fine with you humans referring to any Mahi-mahi (aka Dorado) that you find inside the Aquarium as "dolphin" if you wish, but if you're going to talk about those particular fish with me, then I hope you'll at least bring some to share. They're very yummy.
Speaking of insults, there are no "tricks" associated with me. I can assure you that there is no slight-of-hand going on. None of the other beings inside the Aquarium are fooling you with illusions of me doing behaviors or anything like that. It's 100% dolphin. I really am doing that spectacular flip or jump that made your jaw drop open. In fact, I have a vast repertoire of "behaviors". To claim what I am doing are "tricks" is insulting to my wonderful skills. Someone asked me to "do a trick" one time, but the cards kept floating away! Hmmmm, maybe they meant "trick" as in being a prostitute... Well, I'm not one of those either, so the word still doesn't apply to me.
But speaking of sex, we dolphins are indeed very sexual. Male dolphin, female dolphin, other animal, toy, inanimate object, it doesn't matter. After all, we're very social animals. We dolphins know that sex is a great way to bond, perfect technique, and reduce stress. But please don't take it to mean anything. And don't expect more than foreplay; we females are very picky about who we allow to impregnate us.
Am I allowed to have mentioned the word "sex" on the Wiki? [begin sarcasm] We dolphins never cause any mischief and we always behave ourselves. Don't you know dolphins are serious, serious animals who always do what we're told? We're never silly. Nope, no fun here. [end sarcasm]
That brings me to the last basic thing you should know about us bottlenose dolphins. You can not "make" a 500 pound animal such as myself do anything. You can politely ask me, and I will then decide if I do or do not want to do it. Dolphins enjoy attention. Dolphins enjoy showing off. I have the most spectacular flip! Would you like to see it? I bet you would. I have many fans. I'm amazing. You should feel blessed every time I show off for you. But are you really worth showing off for? Will you clap and cheer for me, or are you one of those boring humans/zombies? Dolphins enjoy not showing off, but rather being lazy and waiting for you to entertain us. Dance for me, human! Dance, dance, dance! Bah! You bore me. I'm going to go play with a rock at the bottom of my tank until you decide to be more entertaining for me.
Now you might be asking, "Little dolphin, do you have a name?"
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Don't you know who the fuck I am?!
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| This user is the Juggernaut, bitch!
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I've noticed that my name seems to cause a lot of confusion for you poor humans. I, of course, was given a name by my mother shortly after birth, but seeing as how our whistles are indistinguishable to your inferior ears, a lot of people end up calling me "Dolphin". While this is a technically correct label, it is akin to me calling you "Human". Frankly, you calling me "Dolphin" makes you come off as uneducated and a dullard.
If you can't come up with something original, the least you could do is call me...
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Batman
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This user is Batman.
Nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-Batman!
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Those with sharp eyes will notice a name in my profile that old aquarium staff used to call me in those long ago forgotten days before the zombie outbreak. I have been reborn since then. So taking a new human name is totally acceptable to me.
A little birdie I know started calling me Flippy when I joined the zoo staff. It is a cute name, fitting for a dolphin as cute as I. I approve of its use 100%.
In game, you will rarely see me use a name when referring to myself. No human-given name is as fitting as the one my mother gave me. While I prefer you call me "Flippy", the sad truth is...
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My Name is Inigo Montoya
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| You killed my father. Prepare to die.
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Signs posted around my tank
As you wander through the dark hallways inside the Aquarium, you notice that a variety of signs have been glued, nailed, and otherwise attached to the outside of this dolphin's tank.
The following signs have been posted:
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IT'S ONLY A GAME!
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| This dolphin thinks that certain people take this game WAY too seriously. She laughs at how much time those people waste trying to smear their "enemies" names. She likes to stick her tongue out at those people.
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Bandwagon
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This user has jumped on
the template bandwagon.
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Flying Spaghetti Monster
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| This user has been touched
by his Noodly Appendage.
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http://urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1006468
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TAKING OVER THE WORLD!!!
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| This user has been exposed to chemical pollution and thinks like a purple tentacle.
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Fire is Pretty
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| This user thinks that fire is pretty.
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Horse-Drawn Zeppelins FTW!
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| This user believes that horse-drawn zeppelins are awesome and wants to see them fill the skies of Malton.
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MOAR HATZ
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| This user thinks that hats are cool and wants to see every known type of hat in the world in Urban Dead.
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OH NOEZ! ZOMBIES!
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| This user is currently hiding from zombies and is using the best disguise ever!
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WE WANT PIE!
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| This user wants pie, if not, you may be in the verge of death...
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Cookie Thief
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| This user is not safe around unguarded cookies.
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Pie Smacked In The Face!
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| This user deserves a pie smacked in the face because she stole your cookie
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Piebtration
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| This user believes that pie duels can solve most problems in life.
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Mmmm, cheese…
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| This dolphin really, really likes cheese.
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Heavy Lifters, Maybe?
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| This user can't figure out for the life of them how survivors are able to carry around several portable generators at once.
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DUDE! It's a Template!
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| This user has been known to say the word "Dude" from time to time.
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Edits to Date
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| This user has made approximately WAY too many edits as of today to her posts on the zoo's forum.
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Pagan
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Flippy is a Pagan and will happily make martyrs out of religious fanatics.
Fire, sword or bullet?
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R.I.P.
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| Steve Irwin
22 February 1962 – 4 September 2006
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