User:Elbowhead/Elbowcranialisml
This ground breaking new religion was spawned from an irc chat with Target Zombie and doctor Tint. The finished result was this:
Current prophets
Elbowhead
Current members
Beleives
God: Drunk, spiteful, senile and wrathful
The universe: Is governed by a HTML code and is edited by god
Humanity: Accidentally created by a drunken god
Undeath: See Elbowhead 1:1
The bible
Prophet elbowhead
1:1
And lo! Fear gripped the nation of Canada as the deadly plague of SARS sickened 44 budding young medical students, among them my most revered disciple Target Zombie, who were dining at the chinese take-away. But alas! Little did they know of there affliction and partied on regardless, Soon the intoxicated four score and four were boarding the last flight to the holy land at malton England where the lord did smite them with hangovers ten fold worst than the dawn after the dusk before. Seeking a cure for their head splitting befoulment they discovered the forbidden indulgence of the perect cup of tea, of which they doth dranketh despite dire warnings from the wise prophet of amanil who hath since returned to his ice palace in the heavens. This wicked sin in a cup, with its mild mixing of milk and sugar that maked the yin-yang seem heavily biased, mutated their respiaratory affliction , grown in the demonic smitten land of china during the 3 kingdoms period, Into someting new.And nearby a then young and budding mop-jockey elbert gray cried out in a janitorial rage, for lo! This disease was the curse of undeath itself! From these afflicted few only a handful could be ressurected, doctor Tint among those sacred few. From those remaining three score and six spawned the rest of the undead plague and our lord saw fit to seal us condemned away from the world instead of doing something about his messeth, spakething you drank my bloody tea, you expect me to help you? And with these final words, turned his back on the forsaken land of malton.
1:2
In the beginning there was nothing. There was nothing to acknowledge all that nothing that wasn’t there. There was so much nothing (indeed, all of it) that it wasn’t a beginning at all. Nothing, save, for a few faint and almost non-existent taps. It started nervously, as if apologizing for intruding and was just set to leave when another, stronger tap cemented it in place. The great nothing reared its non-existent head in anger at the upstart noises, how dare they shatter the stuffing lack of anything? It wasn’t about to do something about it before a brief double quaver of taps set it off guard and to more final taps shattered it. First there was nothing, and then there was. In a blazing, shockingly abrupt Tap… Tap. Tappety-Tap Tap a potential for many great and/or terrible civilisations, incredible forms of life and beauty putting paid to any hopes of the peace and quiet the nothingness offered, for there stood the command, and it read: <html>. A brief crescendo of cracking knuckles followed before a torrent of taps followed spewing forth the very essence of all that is in a great and beautiful wave of unchecked creation that spoke of a great and awe inspiring party to be had followed by the first and most severe hangover ever recorded by anything. <body> Let there be light! </body> and there was great and bountiful light. And the rest, as they say, is history.
