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The Channel 4 News Team is one of the most legendary groups in UD history. I was fortunate enough to get an interview with them. Here it is. --Haliman - Talk 23:27, 7 December 2008 (UTC)
Information Minister: Things have been a little hectic of late and I've been dead a lot more than I'm comfy with. But before my recent turn as a corpse I met up with an interesting guy in the lobby of Beaver Towers.
Haliman is the current leader of a group called UBCS, a tough bunch of hombres whose motto, 'Preserve through Trust' is very close to our own Brian Fantana's, 'Preserve in Musk'.
Haliman was looking for a little publicity for him and his munchachos and who better than the News Team to provide it. I sent him into the green room and told him the Winka would 'prepare' him for our chat. I think he was a little disappointed when he realized we were just talking hair and make up!
She did what she could with what he had, the clothes were okay but his hair hadn't seen a bottle of conditioner since Jesus dropped his cross. So we settled down in our leather chairs with a couple of drinks and got down to business.
Haliman, welcome to Channel 4, please ignore the mess and the twisted claws trying to beat their way in. Fans are a bitch, I'm telling you. Now, tell me a little about your current group, it's numbers and aims.
Haliman: I founded the UBCS near the end of September. Ever since then, we have been a prominent and growing band of brothers. Our aims? Protect survivors as a whole. We have gone as far as Havercroft to answer the call. We are currently based in Santlerville.
IM: Santlerville eh? Thats Dribbling Beaver country if I'm not mistaken, a finer bunch of drunks I've yet to meet. You mention a 'soiled reputation'. Sounds juicy, what the hell did you do to get a bad name in this town?!?
H: That's something I'd rather not go into right now. Unlike the dead, the past at least should have the decency to stay buried!
IM: Thats okay son, this isn't a stitch up operation like Mantooth runs over at Channel 2, a mans got to have secrets otherwise we'd all be in jail! Moving on, what do you feel is your finest moment in Malton so far, and, for parity, your worst.
H: My finest moment? One time when I was in Umbrella, I suppose. The day I led Omega Platoon into Ridleybank, and made it green. A huge memory (albeit a short one.) The following Nichols Mall siege would be a close second. I had a hand in gathering multiple allies there. As for my worst, I'd rather not talk about her.
IM: Anybody that gets all 'Gary Owen' in Ridleybank gets my vote, and as for the other thing, well we've all been there before. You have much in common with many of the denizens of Malton. You are not a 'legend', no offense, but you continue to fight, to help and to generally get involved. What's your motivation? What gets you out of bed in the afternoon?
H: No offense taken. Why do I fight you ask? I fight because I love this game. I have been here since late 06', and I plan on being around for a fairly long time. My motivation? Everyone in the UBCS. Every survivor. Every zombie. I am striving to leave my mark on this city, and to do that, I gotta be motivated. As for what get's me outta bed, it's usually the moaning and the groaning outside of my window.
IM: That does it for most of us I guess. And on the same theme, Scotch or Vodka? You will be judged on your answer but I'll try not to hold it against you.
H: Scotch, of course. Have you any more.....?
IM: Sure thing, whats the point in hands if they aren't holding a full glass of the good stuff. Now, you told me earlier that you fought with Ron. Can you still remember the smell of him?
H: Like it was yesterday! I couldn't see him at first, but I heard his flute orchestrating of the battle. I didn't smell him so much as be assaulted by his scent, in a good way. I felt as though a jet black cougar had exploded out of the jungle and sprayed me with sweet heady love. He really smelled good didn't he.
IM: No doubt about it my friend, he used to bathe in the sweat glands of Odin and roll himself dry in fields of hairy women. But I digress, back to the interview. As a News Team we roam this city from top to bottom. It seems now more than ever that decay and disarray are the rulers of Malton. What are your feelings on the state of the town?
H: Humanity has overcome The Dead, the largest horde in Maltons history. They sent us in a downward spiral much quicker than we are right now. I think, no. I know, that with careful planning by the survivors, we will overcome the undead menace.
IM: Positive thinking indeed, although I think we should leave the careful planning to those less inebriated than ourselves.
So that's it, thank you for taking the time to chat and please help yourself to the complimentary buffet. This has been the Information Minister, bringing you the voice of the people, for Channel 4 News!
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