User:Pvt Walter Sobchak

Private Walter Sobchak proudly served our nation in Vietnam. There he saw the Lord take many bright flowering young men at Khe Sanh, at Langdok and at Hill 364. These memories haunt him to this day, especially when people try to tell him to lower his voice or to restrain from using vulgarity. He did not see his buddies die face down in the mud to have his freedoms taken from him in the form of prior restraint.

Upon his return from service, he proudly married his wife Cynthia and converted from his Polish Catholic roots to Judiaism. He now stictly observes his faith and Shomer Shabbos even though he divorced Cynthia long ago. He will only break Shabbos if it's a matter of life an death... or bowling after tossing a crippled person out of his wheelchair.

He eventually moved from the San Fernando Valley in the early-90's shortly after the death of his dear friend Theodore Donald Kerabatsos. Walter was particularly close to Donny, always telling him to "Shut the fuck up!" and personally scattering Donny's ashes.

Walter finally settled in Malton where he set up his only private security company. Law and order are very important to Private Sobchak, as he insists that this is not 'nam, this is Malton, there are rules.

Unfortunately, during the initial Zombie uprising he saw so many bright flowering young security guards taken at the Caiger Mall, Fort Perryn, and Hill 364. This needless death set off Walter in a way that hadn't been seen since the Nihilist incident of '91. He is currently taking out the Zombies by waving his piece on the lanes, tossing bowling balls and biting off one ear at a time.

Private Sobchak's specialties include: bowling, toe procurement ("I can get you a toe, no problem), car demolition, interrogation ("Is this your homework, Larry?") and executing simple plans ("The beauty of the plan is its simplicity").

Private Sobchak also insists that all zeds are anti-semites.