User:Vito Mortis
| Vito "Big V" Mortis | ||||||||||
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Profile
Gender: Male
Age: Late 40's.
Arose as Undead: May 2nd, 2007
Current Status: HANGRAH.
Current Sightings: Flailing against the windows of a deserted Italian ristorante outside of Ackland Mall.
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Life, the Universe, and Everything |
| Vito Mortis is a member of LUE. |
History
Vito "Big V" Mortis is a former Malton "businessman" with questionable business interests, and known associations with organized crime figures. He was under federal investigation for some shady dealings involving the sale of expired (and therefore hazardous) drug reagents to the Necrotech Corporation. On Contagion Day it is believed he was attacked by his former mistress, a stripper at one of his money-laundering operations. His first victims were two federal agents who had been shadowing him.
Recently Vito has fallen in with a large horde of zombies; it seems this is the LUE horde. Their current whereabouts are not precisely known.
Appearance
Vito is a heavyset zombie in a ruined-but-very-expensive Italian suit. It's possible all the red on him isn't all blood; he has been seen several times biting into jars of spaghetti sauce and eating uncooked, formerly frozen, and rotten lasagna from the aisles of Malton grocery stores. Doing so always seems to make him unhappy afterwards. Perhaps he misses authentic Italian cooking.
Stuff to Laugh At
# Corporal Benson injected a zombie with a syringe and it slumped to the floor. (1 hour and 45 minutes ago)
- -- 217 zombies in the mall, who-knows-how-many dead survivors, and he combat revives in a ransacked mall. Awesome.
# Vanpetrol said "Ha and Zombie groups complain about the game being unfair to them? lol" (1 hour and 12 minutes ago)
- -- Same day, same mall ... it took 200 of us to ransack against <50 survivors, but, you know, zombies have the good life and could use some nerfin' ... sorry for interrupting your game of Urban Life, there, champ.
# CodenameDirtbag said "I notice 50% of you zeds are level 1 meatshield zergs. That's not cool, man." (6 minutes ago)
- -- EVIDENCE IST VERBOTEN! Vee vill haff nun of zis talk of coordination! Joo are cheaters!
- Hey, dipshits. We're not zergers. We really are ~350 individual players from a message board that has 17,000+ registered users. We coordinate on that board and we hit all at once. How the hell do you slack-jawed mouth-breathers think people could move that many zerging accounts all at once?
Doctor Sardonicus said "156 zeds to kill 49 survivors? That's friggin pathetic." (13 seconds ago)
- Dear Doctor Retardicus:
- 1.) it was 70 survivors. The rest, we dragged outside, then killed. And it was about 120 zombies that did it. These other folks are zombie-come-latelys. Math, it's fundamental.
- 2.) it's called conservation. As in, we didn't use all our AP to do it, because, I dunno, maybe :we were saving some for something else.
- 3.) Half the horde doesn't have lurching gait; we shambled directly there from Woodroffe Mall (14-18 AP if you don't have LG) before we ate your NT building.
- Fortunately, the less a brain is used, the better it tastes. His is probably an orgasm on toast.
- Edit -- know what else is pathetic? Trash-talking to a horde of zombies before taking a nap exactly one block away. Have fun in the revive queue.
--- Words of wisdom from Major Striker.
- I quited so good luck everyone but LUE.
- Leave me alone, I'm doing whatever now and the C.I.A. is disbanded as there was really no C.I.A. as I made it up and said it had people in it so its gone now.
- Well this will probley be my last post on the wiki as I've quited because this game is no longer fun because everyone is hunting me down so I've got one thing to say you'll never find me I'm at the one place you can't get me or kill me. Thats right a body that jumped from a window so sorry I didn't give you all the joy of killing me but I've got to much honor to let that happen. Best of luck people who did like me and didn't want to kill me and hope you get headshoted every day people who wanted to kill me.
- Nvm, I'm taking a long long vacation from this game. Ugh idiots ruin it when all I was trying to do was help but fine hope you all get killed and eaten.
---
- toothdecay said "hey guys, i just came back with some beer and ... HOLY SHIT!" (18 minutes ago)
- hey, I didn't say that all had to be stupid - we like witty repartee from our survivors.
(heard shortly after the unmitigated bitch-slapping of Barhah Mall)
# 27.35 MHz: "Vito Mortis and the LUEsers should get a life or change" (2 hours and 34 minutes ago)
# 27.35 MHz: "their name... Assholes..." (2 hours and 33 minutes ago)
- Cry more, please. Man, the blubbering vagina quotient in Caiger is OVER NINE THOUSSSAAAAAAAAAAND!
# mortson said "enjoying your rest, zergers?" (3 hours and 24 minutes ago)
- Wild Retard appears! Gotta catch 'em all!
junkie512 said "49 zombies eh?" (41 minutes ago)
junkie512 said "You guys are just wasting ap by staying here...a logistical waste." (40 minutes ago)
junkie512 said "With 49 zombies,you guys could sack a fucking mall." (39 minutes ago)
junkie512 said "Instead your gonna waste your ap on some hole in the wall necrotech building." (39 minutes ago)
junkie512 said "but you guys can be our guest here,we'll gladly tie you guys up." (38 minutes ago)
- Apparently, we're the only zombie horde that walks anywhere; the rest have mastered the power of teleportation.
