ZNN/Stop Press

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znn bMZaARn BBHAARn - ZNN brain Vein

nHAZMRZ RZHGMZaARghHG ZRMZHRm HGhHA ZZMNHRNMGBHAGB bMZaARnRZ HRZR HGhHA maMNHGHRn zHAGB BZHRBZNMMNaZZHA

news straight from the clouded brains of the malton zed populace

ARZR RAHRNM'BBHA gHRHG ARHG, RZHGHRBZ HGhHA BZMZHARZRZ

If you've got it, stop the press



Dec 20th: Fort Feral Falls

Dec 20th: the big bash 2 has ravaged the cpmpounds of fort freal, helped by the FU, all compounds are ransacked and held, fort feral has been reclaimed.--Worthog117 23:10, 20 December 2007 (UTC)

Nov 10th: Breaking report from Caiger Mall

Nov 10th: Human ZNN correspondent Zteev Gibbsun reporting from Caiger Mall:
There are no zombies in Caiger Mall! That is a lie. What you see in the north west corner is are new shipment of smelly mannequins. These mannequins are the advanced model, so the include the lifelike swaying motion. No zombies have been seen near here for several days! Our generators are not broken and we have plenty of supplies and syringes! Where are you hearing all these lies from?!?

Our corespondent Zteev Gibbsun has a live report from Caiger Mall. And now we go live to Zteev Gibbsun and Caiger Mall for the report:

Ungh, where is it?

The electronics boutique in Caiger Mall has begun accepting DNF pre-orders.. this can only end in the most horrific of ways.

FERAL UNDEAD BEGIN TRICK OR TREATING

Feral Undead have begun going door to door in Pennville demanding sweets from the harmanz. They can be spotted by their absurd customes. All zombies are welcome to come down, dress up, and join in on the fun! Details including buildings currently under siege can be found on the Feral Undead forum.--Gut stench FU BAR 16:42, 25 October 2006 (BST)

SHACKNEWS CALLS OFF CAIGER MALL SEIGE

It appears Shacknews is turning tail and running before the Caiger Mall battle has even begun. The Zombies have been seen running back to their safe haven in Ridleybank.


ZNN reporter, JaneMansfield, has never seen such a rout. Zombies and hobos fleeing like fleeing things. One zombie was quoted as saying: "No harmanbargars."
Residents of Caiger were unavailable for comment at this time, probably due to over-barricading.

BLACKMORE BUILDING SACKED!

Human ZNN correspondent Zteev Gibbsun. Quoted as saying "THE ZOMBIES ARE COMMITTING SUICIDE AT THE BARRICADES!" moments before being devoured. Note the Blackmore Building in the background surrounded by haze - undoubtedly generated by damage to the building.

Oct 15 2006: after a violent struggle lasting many weeks, the Blackmore Building in Ridleybank has finally been overrun! No survivor has been left standing! OMGZ! THE HUMANITY!

I'd put the zombie translation underneath that but I don't know what it is :(


Ackland Mall Buffet!

Brainline: Havercroft, October 20th.

The Shacknews Zombie Horde has now left the Ackland Mall after enjoying a 3 day long buffet. Surrounding buildings being used for cowardly non-evolved human attacks were purged and the harmanz were forcibly evolved to a higher state of being. The Horde has now moved beyond Ackland.