User:Rosslessness/Random Rambling/Fort 404

404 Tactics

The information on this page or section discusses a strategy employed by 404: Barhah not found. It may not work for you. Especially if you have no Fiffy.

A bit of 404 history

All the best survivors have shambled a mile in undead shoes. It's always the best way to understand an adversary.

Back in the distant past when User:Emerald Green and User:Viktor Suvorov founded 404: Barhah not found, many of it's founding members were prominent zombies. You may find it strange that such a prominent survivor group had undead beginnings, but it's actually very easy to explain.

Every day on the wiki there was another survivor group being founded. Some of them became incredibly successful, some of them, less so.

But the founding of new zombie groups were much less common. The reason for this was simple. A single survivor could arm himself with some shotguns and a toolkit and reclaim his own little piece of the city. A new zombie couldnt even open a door.

Zombie groups were, and still are better organised to help new members. They are much more experienced at working together. Such people were used to the demands of the zombie meta, namely real time strikes, close communication and, in general, a more thoughtful, holistic approach to urban dead. All of these skills, seemingly overlooked by the majority of survivor groups made 404 different.

Because of this legacy the group avoided the major zombie hordes. No one wanted Alts to clash, and the major zombie were left to tear their way across Malton. This was one of the reasons the group focused so heavily on ghost town reclamation tactics that became their speciality. It wasn't just a different challenge, in some cases it was a necessity.

Then, at the end of July 2009 an in-group discussion began, challenging the idea of what 404 was. We had fallen into a steady routine of stabilising sectors, before remaining to recover, (gain some much needed sleep,) resupply and wait for local survivors to re-establish themselves. We tried to never leave a suburb entirely empty, especially as it usually took us a while to find the next target and check it matched our criteria for a new focus.

As the conversation progressed, we wondered whether we could repeat our successes with suburbs, on a different kind of target. One which should be a lot quicker to reclaim, considering its small size...

Fort 404

[84,89] – [86,91] (bic) (statuses) (update) Fort Perryn ruined, small numbers of zombies dwindling. --RahrahCome join the #party!11:38, 21 July 2009 (BST)

Fort Perryn was the target. The Fortress had cleared the structure at the beginning of July, and as 404's initial zombie scouting revealed, Decay levels were all relatively low. Casual scouting of the public threads on the Feral Undead forum, showed that the publicly posted hotspots were in Scarletwood. There were few zombies policing an empty and wrecked fort.

Scouting and scanning were the order of the day, and as members made sure they were ready to begin, we built up a lovely set of zombie contacts. Which, as you would know if you've met the 404 was very helpful on day 1.

Day 1

[84,89] – [86,91] (bic) (statuses) (update) Fort Perryn For the Day Fort Feral becomes Fort 404. Buildings all repaired and powered. Gatehouse is VSB, come join the fun. Long range forecasts suggest massive increases in gouging, maiming and overlly trenchy putdowns. You have been warned. --RosslessnessWant a Location Image? 20:53, 31 July 2009 (BST)

Fort has been repaired again. I'm outside the gatehouse. It's all over the wiki. I hate survivors. Why is it they have to tell everyone every time they put together a 9 piece puzzle? 

-- Monstero - FU Forum - 31st July

The initial assault went well, with only seven zombies inside the entire fort. 4 of them were cheekily Combat Revived, and the others knocked on the head.

The initial plan was to try out our own brand of fort defence, as outlined here. By standing, sleeping and searching in the gatehouse, we hoped other survivors would bolster the defences, and deal with issues inside the other buildings. We had no idea how effective this strategy would be, but like most 404 defences, things rapidly descended into farce.

We had all heard the jokes about Trenchcoaters, but they couldn't be that bad, surely?

Day 2 - Enter Bustass

[84,89] – [86,91] (bic) (statuses) (update) Fort Perryn Day two of the Fort 404 fun. Buildings all repaired and powered. Gatehouse is VSB, Trenchies are beggining to return. Zombie numbers outide now above 20. On a side note survivors have discovered a ten piece puzzle and completed it. Another stunning victory over the zombies! --RosslessnessWant a Location Image? 12:57, 1 August 2009 (BST)

In order for our plan to work, we had to get living, breathing survivors into the fort, and quickly. Within the first 24 hours almost 30 zombies had shambled up to the door, like decaying moths to a trenchy flame. We needed sensible, well organized survivors. What we got was Colonel Bustass.

Gentlemen. I think we're dealing with survivors with at least some intelligence. 

-- Analrape - FU Forum - 31st July

Like Churchill after Dunkirk, Henry V before Agincourt or (possibly) Bill Paxton in Independence day, a rousing speech can motivate even the most desperate force, so it was of great relief that the first non 404 survivor into the gate house was Colonel Bustass with her inspiring "It's ours, do you hear me? DO YOU HEAR ME YOU FUCKIN' DICKS?" speech.

This eloquence did not go unnoticed, and soon this far ranging conflict became something very personal, as the feral undead pushed a mouldy peice of paper under the gatehouse door. They had some demands...

Day 3

[84,89] – [86,91] (bic) (statuses) (update) Fort Perryn Day three of the Fort 404 fun. Buildings all repaired and powered. Gatehouse is VSB, Trenchies are beggining to return. Zombie numbers outside now above 25. A large supply of honey has been discovered in the storehouse, but no spoons. Expect a lot of stickiness. --RosslessnessWant a Location Image? 11:13, 2 August 2009 (BST)

A recreation of the Bustass mural by a lesser artist. All design elements remain. For the sake of modesty the colonel's naked form has been blackboxed.

The tattered piece of paper, once translated from Zombese appeared to be a set of demands. As we always expected, the FU enjoyed meeting us as much as we liked reviving them.

The full list of demands is included below.

Feral Undead Demands

• 1. Relinquish your copy of "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets". We lent it to you like...4 months ago, and we want it back.
• 2. Let us spin the spinner in your game of Naked Twister.
• 3. Send out a harman sacrafaahs. Some of our newbies are hungry.
• 4. Share with us your supply of honey nut cheereos. WE KNOW YOU HAVE THEM IN THERE!!1
• 5. Take a n00d picture of Colonel Bustass and slip it under the gatehouse. Then take Bustass and slip HER under the gatehouse so we can feel her magnificent ta-tas.
• 6. Stop reading Twilight. It's a horrible series and it burns our zarmbah eyes

Oh yes, naked twister. As if defending against a zombie horde wasn't hard enough, several members of the 404 spent large amount of AP playing a game of naked twister in the gatehouse. Combat revived players were asked to join in, and things soon got very "frisky".

(Side Note - This single incident also seemingly spawned The Naked Twister Party. a minor zombie road trip that involved eating Mitchem Mall. Strangely almost all evidence of the tour has been lost to the sands of time and the wikis delete function.)

Being the kind, friendly and entirely un-fort like people we were, we decided to concede to a number of these demands, after all it was unfair we were having all the fun.

Our resident artists, lacking both Colonel Bustass and a camera instead commissioned a giant mural of the glorious colonel, which began life as a simple mspaint drawing. It didn't really work until one of the group asked for the boring fort background to be replaced with a massive american flag. It became the most amusing piece of art ever created for the 404, even more so than the rumoured cardigan collection of one highly respected member.

Day 4 Survivors not found

[84,89] – [86,91] (bic) (statuses) (update) Fort Perryn Day four of the Fort 404 fun. Buildings all repaired and powered. Gatehouse is VSB, Trenchies are beggining to return. Zombie numbers outside now above 25. Curiously no one has said BOOM HEADSHOT!!!!! yet. --RosslessnessWant a Location Image? 11:43, 3 August 2009 (BST)

Day four of our little siege was stuffed full of japes and antics. Indeed the number of action points spent on frivolous actions was probably at its peak this day.

First job of the day was respondeding to the FU.

Response to Demands by 404: Barhah Not Found

• 1. We're really sorry but we lost it one of those times we were dragged out of a building and it got ransacked.
• 2. You're welcome to spin our (naked twister) dial any time ;)
• 3. Done - UweEbola couldn't bring himself to defend a fort and has sacrificed himself outside the gatehouse.
• 4. We don't have honey nut cheerios, but we do have honey. *wink wink* We buy it in bulk.
• 5. I saw her (Colonel Bustass) in the gatehouse for like, 1 second, but we'll do our best (to find her).
• 6. *Googles "Twilight"* MY EYES!

Seriously, we couldn't even organise some proper tumbleweed.

But, although both the 404 and the FU were having a very jolly time, there was one small problem, as we were the only people enjoying it.

We'd repaired local hospitals and the The Colglough Building and were running both a revive point and sticking any likely zombie that stumbled into the gatehouse, but no survivors were bolstering our numbers. It was weird.

There was some movement. The fort became mostly lit and several survivors could be seen within the fort. just not the gatehouse. Strangely, this ragged band of survivors didn't want to fight the zombies at their gatehouse door.

So we shouted across the whole of Malton, contacting all the groups we could, looking for support. This took forever. Almost all of the groups listed as protecting the fort (8 or so) were either impossible to find or consisted of over a single person. (See what I mean about the dangers of an overabundance of survivor groups?)

Frustration started to spill over into our public communications...

[84,89] – [86,91] (bic) (statuses) (update) Fort Perryn Day four (and a half) of the Fort 404 fun. Buildings all repaired and mostly powered. Of the 30 odd survivors in the gatehouse over half are members of 404, with no other group managing more than a single member. In fact joint second in terms of survivor numbers is the Feral Undead. Where are all these groups listed as being active in the fort? Surely those katanas are clean enough? Stop polishing them and get to work! --RosslessnessWant a Location Image? 18:32, 3 August 2009 (BST)

Day 5

Day five dawned, much like day 4 had ended. But as luck would have it there were a handful of friendly faces starting to wander into the gatehouse.

[84,89] – [86,91] (bic) (statuses) (update) Fort Perryn Day Five of the Fort 404 fun. Buildings all repaired and mostly powered. Of the 30 odd survivors in the gatehouse half are members of 404, But other groups are joining the fun. The Cannonball Crew have now arrived with several members to bolster defences. Nude twister enters it's second day. So far no innappropriate touching has been reported. Which is sad. 36 standing zombies outside. --RosslessnessWant a Location Image? 10:32, 4 August 2009 (BST)

Day 6

[84,89] – [86,91] (bic) (statuses) (update) Fort Perryn Day Six of the Fort 404 / Fort Feral fun. Buildings all repaired and mostly powered. However in a curious turn of events it appears that crazy zombies driven insane by the taste of cheerio's are gaining headway. 12 of them are currently standing in the gathouse, groaning about ta-ta's. --RosslessnessWant a Location Image? 10:20, 5 August 2009 (BST)

[84,89] – [86,91] (bic) (statuses) (update) Fort Perryn Day Six of the Fort 404 / Fort Feral fun. Gatehouse is ruined with 17 zeds inside, and the armoury is wide open with 7 survivors and 3 zeds inside. All other building are still barricade... for now --Monstroso 17:37, 5 August 2009 (BST)

Day 7

[84,89] – [86,91] (bic) (statuses) (update) Fort Perryn The final day of Fort 404 week! Rather unsuprisingly the Feral Undead have their fort back. We'd just like to take the opportunity to thank our undead friends for a truly spiffing siege. You can have your fort back now. But why would you want it? --RosslessnessWant a Location Image? 08:42, 6 August 2009 (BST)

List of humorous/inspirational/historical quotes by survivors

• It's ours, do you hear me? DO YOU HEAR ME YOU FUCKIN' DICKS?--Colonel Bustass, July 31 2009, after the retaking of Fort Perryn. This quote sparked a battle between the Feral Undead and 404:Barhah Not Found

• Somebody has spraypainted: 404 trenchcoat sale, buy one get one free if VSB! onto a wall.--Unknown defender of Fort Perryn during Naked Twister Party 2009

List of humorous/inspirational/historical quotes by zombies

• Ladies and gentlemen, I think we have a new goal here. I'm not a leader and I don't claim to be, but I think it'll be great fun to do this! Get combat revived. If you don't have freerunning, buy it. Bustass usually hangs out around the armoury, sooooo...get inside the fort, give Colonel Bustass a lulzy speech (preferably declaring war on her group), and then kill her. Brownie points if you touch her ta-tas. WAIT! THERE'S ANOTHER STEP! Once you kill her, SCREENSHOT IT and post it in this thread.--Unnamed zombie attacker, Naked Twister 2009
• Looks like you finally got to touch her ta-tas. And if not, just say you did. What's she gonna do, cry?--Aaargh, a new member of the Feral Undead, on Colonel Bustass.