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Revision as of 00:04, 2 September 2008
Calling All 'Coaters
The Situation
Are you a Trenchcoater? Are you frustrated, angry, filled with impotent juvenile rage? Tell me, what do you think of the DEM?
Do they remind you of your bullies? Do they remind you of your teachers? Do they remind you of your parents?
I thought so.
The Details
You probably don't need reminding - but here's some examples of the DEM's unacceptable behaviour:
The DEM say: Shooting zombies outside is a waste of time.
Everyone knows: Running outside and shooting zombies is what makes you l33t. It proves you have the true warrior spirit. If no-one shot zombies outside, they'd soon take over the whole of Malton.
The DEM say: Only those who have been caught murdering fellow survivors and reported to the Rogues Gallery can be hunted and killed.
Everone knows: This plays straight into the hands of zombie spies. People with more zombie than survivor skills, people who smash radios, people with suspicious names and people who laugh at your group are all traitors to humanity. They must be excectued with righteous fury. It's what SG-1 would do.
The DEM say: Respect marked Revive Points.
Everyone knows: Look! An zmobie! I'm going to pwn it! BOOM!!! HEADSHOT !!!!1!!11
The DEM say: Follow the Uniform Barricading Policy.
Everyone knows: The only way to survive is to barricade your safehouse to EHB+2. Otherwise the zombies will get you. Also, every building should have a powered generator, and a tag like "HQ of the Spandex Ultramarines. Zombies not allowed". That way people know you're cool, and witty too.
The DEM say: Use River Tactics.
Everyone knows: Cowards run away. Real survivors stand and fight for their homes. Real survivors are prepared to die for their Bank, Towers or Junkyard.
The DEM say: We support Pay It Forward.
Everyone knows: Pay It Forward was a crappy film starring that Haley Harvey Oswald kid from 6th Sense. He gets stabbed in the end, to much rejoicing.
Need I continue. The DEM hegemony is out of touch with reality. We must awaken them, we must open their eyes to the true stupidity of their policies.
Our Demands
We have drawn up the following list of demands:
- The DEM let everyone know the truth about where to find Tommyguns.
- The DEM support a Real-Time Operation in Ridleybank to massacre the zed-head scum and reclaim the suburb for humanity.
- The DEM put zombie spies onto the Rogues Gallery, and make them all Kill on Sight.
- The female DEM members must use avatars with more revealing outfits. Oh yeah. Especially Labine. I hear she's hot.
- Axes High should be renamed KATANAS IN THA AIR! (Do not forget the exclamation mark. It adds cool).
What to Do
Mark this date in your diaries. Preferably in red, because it looks like blood lol.
09/09/08
This day is Trenchipendence Day. The Day we fight back. On this day, we shall massacre every zombie at every DEM revive point. We will barricade every Police Department, Fire Station and Hospital to EHB. We will hunt down zombie spies and people we don't like and teach them the meaning of payback.
How Do I Help?
Do the things above. Also, if you're good with MS Paint, make a poster for Trenchipendence Day and post it up here. Extra marks if it has snipers, ninjas, or Lara Croft in.
Sign Me Up
No, sign yourself up lol. Do it below here. I think we should get to at least 100.
I'm Supporting Trenchipendence Day
