Cult of the Stuffed Crocodile

Cult of the Crocodile
Abbreviation:	CSC
Group Numbers:	30 and growing...
Leadership:	The Stuffed Crocodile
Goals:	To spread the word of our Lord Crocodile.
Recruitment Policy:	Believe in his toothy visage and put "Cult of the Crocodile" in your Group Name
Contact:	Any Member

Mission Statement

To search museums for more stuffed crocodiles and spread the word throughout Malton.

Join us in worship of the Toothy Lord! All one need do is write "Cult of the Crocodile" in their profile and take the Holy Pilgrimage as shown below. While at the Site of our Reptilian Lord, put on those most Holy clothes and return to Skarin to be welcomed by your brothers!

Latest News

(Most recent events at top, consistent format appreciated)

November 9th, 2009: Some few members of the Cult met in secret, and agreed that there is little point in opposing the Dunningwood Warriors, who have good intentions at heart. They agreed amongst themselves that it is time to travel forth from the ruins of Skarin Row PD, and seek out new suburbs, new experiences, and new friends and converts. Some, undoubtedly, will stay behind, but as has ever been the case with the Cult, each member must make his or her own decisions.

The first gathering point in the Crocodile Cult Tour of Malton shall be Giddings mall, North-east corner - and behold, as Mrrrggggh arrived there, the first thing he saw was a pair of the Toothy Lord's avatars. Clearly it's a sign! Praise Giddings, Praise the Crocodile! --Cman yall 06:53, 9 November 2009 (UTC)

November 5th, 2009: It's confirmed, the Dunningwood Warriors are at war with the Cult of the Crocodile. Some Cultists try to persuade them to stop the violence, while others give it right back, for as we all know, the Crocodile has Mighty Jaws and sees no problem with biting people who mess with Him. Meanwhile the Gummery Minions of the Alligator continue to hold Skarin Row PD unopposed, since everyone's too busy fighting each other to do anything about them. They don't seem to feel too left out, though, in fact if anything they seem to think it's hilarious.

November 2nd, 2009: Random members of the Dunningwood Warriors have been seen shooting at Cultists, though it is as yet unclear whether a general war has been declared. The dark days of the Cult continue to grow darker, and many Cultists begin to wonder if now is the Age of the Alligator? Surely the Crocodile would never abandon us... but perhaps the Alligator is now stronger. Other Cultists continue to cling to their faith, knowing that death is only temporary, and braarzang za Grargargarah.

October 25th, 2009: Allo'ween is getting close, and the Cult is celebrating by giving in and becoming Undead for a while. Braarz za Grargargarah! Zmazh Barbangarz arb Garmaar Bang!!

October 16th, 2009:Times have never been darker... the Gummery minions of the Alligator outnumber the cult, many of whom have fled in despair. The people of Dunningwood blame the Cult for bringing the Gummers to the suburb, which is accurate enough, though their accusations of inaction hurt. Some even suggest the Cult should be hounded out of Dunningwood altogether, and perhaps they are right, perhaps it is time to flee Skarin PD, and roam the city, bringing word of His Toothy Glory to wherever we can find shelter.

September 8th, 2009: The rumours are true, our beloved Elmo has returned to us, and just five days before Crocmas! Truly this is a sign from the Crocodile!

August 21st, 2009: The Alligator's minions have at last figured out which button is speech and which one is broadcast, and have taken to poisoning the sound waves of our beloved frequency, 26.69, with lies and slander. Specifically, they are now posing as the presenter of "Croc Rocks" and various other well-known members of the Cult and making ridiculous claims about resignations and the like. Take no notice of these lies, for the Crocodile gives us strength, and He shall smite our enemies with his mighty claws and general aura of winning and awesomeness. The Scaly One Protects!

August 18th, 2009: Item of note: the Flowers of Disease are making some kind of short attack, maybe to get back to their roots or something. Otherwise conditions are still bad, with most of our kin Braarzarng za Grargargarah in or around the temple.

August 17th, 2009: After nearly a week taking in the heady heights of livingdom, Skarin has fallen once more. Those followers still in the grip of undeath continue to Braarzarng za Grargargarah, whilst the surviving members gather themselves to push out the Alligator-worshippers once more.

August 12th, 2009: The Dunningwood Warriors and the Cult are doing their best to work out a peaceful agreement even amongst the malicious alligator siege. Things are looking up as the friendly and accomodating Dunningwood Warriors lead their assistance.

August 11th: The emerald flag of His Reptillian Magnifitasticness flies high above Sacred Skarin once more, and cheers ring out across the Temple Complex as the first European Paintings are installed in the building, mere preludes to the replacing of His glorious avatar. In the traditional celebratory style a small festival is being held to honour the re-taking of the holiest site in Malton, featuring a revolutionary new combination of interpretive dance and firearms practise. Commemorative sticks of rock are also being handed out.

June 29th: Croc Rock continues it's pirate broadcasts from a little-known location. The Crocodile's good news is being spread despite the zerging attacks of the DGB. Skarin remains standing for now, though there is a nervous tension in the air, as though all know that fortunes will soon turn, but no-one mutters even a whisper of such things. All are focused on the glory of the one true Lord of Lords, the Host of Hosts, the Alpha and the Omega, the Holy Crocodile! Sing his praises for he is worthy of them. We are but dust and earth beneath his scaly belly. Praise the Crocodile!

June 9th: For a couple of glorious days, Skarin was restored. An Avatar of the Toothy Lord sat proudly, surrounded by the traditional 12 european paintings. Morale was high, and we praised Him, for he is Toothy and Green. But alas, the armies of the dread Alligator returned in greater numbers than ever, tore down the walls, destroyed the Avatar and His paintings, and drove us once more into the cold and darkness of undeath. But from somewhere in Malton, unknown to the Gummers, a new hope - radio 26.69 (the Crocodile Rocks!) is broadcasting again! Tune in for sermons of hope and courage.

May 7th: The threshing continues, and few cultists remain. The outpost has fallen too, in fact much of Northeast Malton is ruined. But with the Crocodile's blessings, the Cult will never die, the worst that can happen is a prolonged period of Braarzarng za Grargargarah.

April 12th: The attacks continue, but morale is high. Like threshers, the Gummer Bottles are ridding the Cult of the chaff, so that only the strong of faith remain.

March 22nd: The Cult of the Crocodile, with the aid of many unaffiliated survivors hold Skarin PD once more. The powers of the Crocodile must have brought these strangers here, so that they can hear the Good News about the Scaled Protector. Break-ins continue, as the zergling army from Gummer Bank continues its assault, but having faced such armies before, the Cultists have no fear.

March 15th: A cold wind howls through ruins of Skarin as the invaders from Gummer Bank shamble lifelessly around... when will the Cult return to drive them out? No-one knows...

February 24th: Skarin has fallen but even amidst the rubble we tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they'll never take... OUR FREEDOM!!! We are free to worship the most high, the Holy Crocodile in life and in animated death. They can not hinder our worship let alone stop it. "Braarz za Grargargarah!!!" for he is truly worthy of it. We are but dust and earth beneath his scaly belly.

February 4th: Tense times begin as the Defenders of Gummer Bank prepare to strike our holy temple. However, they will fail to subdue our worship of the one true god just like the many "disparate interest groups" that tried before them. Truly we are the chosen few. Stay true to the Crocodile for he is true to you!

January 31st: TheMightyLobster, a representative of the "Defenders of the Gummer Bank" entered the Holy Temple and declared war on Skarin Row PD should the mindless killing of his people not end within 3 days. Could this test of our conviction lead to our downfall? The Crocodile does not stop his death-roll until the prey is dead. We must be true to his example.

January 30th, 2009: With half (or thereabouts) of the Cult fighting Alligators in Houldenbank, things are quiet around the temple. Let those who remain make enough noise about the Toothy One, that it's just as loud without them!

January 17th, 2009: A holy war has begun between the Cult of the Crocodile and the followers of the benevolent Alligator thanks to a Field Alt accidentally shooting an Alligator lover 10 times (with the final shot being to the head). There is no turning back. The enemy must be crushed with stedfast conviction or there will never be peace.

News from the Previous Years is now being Archived Here

History Of the Crocodile

The first noted case of The Great's One's worship is of Ancient Egypt's 'Sobek', the crocodile god. In fact a city next to the nile which was famous for widely worshipping 'Sobek' was called Crocodilopolis. 'Sobek' was powerful, and controlled water and fertility, the basic nessecities of life in the arid desert.

In the everglades of Florida, a crocodile born here in Malton had been used in a sacrificial ceremony performed by the Voodoo Witchdoctor Jakra Obinu. But the ceremony had gone terribly wrong when, for convenience, Obinu used KFC instead of live chickens. He had accidentally invoked the spirit of [Sobek] into the crocodile during the ceremony.

Infuriated by Obinu's laziness, the Crocodile bit his head off and left his carcass to rot in heat of the everglades. But with the witchdoctor dead, the spirit of [Sobek] remained trapped inside the crocodile and so he remained there.

After years of contently living in the everglades in harmony with his creations, he was eventually hunted and killed by poachers. The dead crocodile was later sold to a taxidermist, stuffed, and displayed in his study along with many other dead creatures. Even though the body was dead, the spirit remained trapped.

Over the years, he had passed through the hands of many owners. Each one told stories of hearing voices when in its presence, objects appearing out of nowhere, and invisible forces keeping them from entering rooms with it displayed. it eventually was sold to one of the many museums in Malton, ironically back close to His birthplace. There, researchers made many discoveries about the stuffed crocodile's past. The crocodile was scheduled to be transported to a local Necrotec lab for further research but the zombie outbreak occurred before it could be moved.

Controversy

The claims made above regarding the history of the Scaly Lord are based on research from the local museum. These claims are not recognized by many of the Crocodile's devout followers, who claim instead that "He always was, and that He always shall be".

Some claim that the Lord was always a Croc, and was stuffed when he visited Earth to check on things, so in anger and punishment he cursed the world with the undead. Believers of this often say 'You think Malton is the only city with zombies? Well check over the barricade at the rest of the world too. We were just the first...'

Others claim that the Crocodile is in fact female, and believe in a version of heaven where those who lived a righteous life "nestle like eggs in the nest of Her Scaled Magnificence".

Since the addition of a stuffed alligator and two more crocodile avatars to Skarin PD, more controversy has arisen.

By some views, the Alligator is the Crocodile's jester who keeps Him entertained. The Alligator also often represents non-believers, aka the Clown Jester. In some ways it is not dissimilar to such mythological figures as Loki in Norse legend, or Coyote in Native American tradition. Others believe that the Alligator represents pure and darkest evil, and is the Cult's equivalent of the Devil.

The second Crocodile is regarded by many as His mistress in whom He finds interest. It is also believed that she makes new members migrate to the Skarin Row PD. The third crocodile is thus presumed to be the son of our Scaled Lord and his mistress, and represents innocence, rebirth, and the nooblets who have recently found their way to the PD. Another possible interpretation of the three crocodiles is as an equivalent of christianity's trinity concept - i.e. father, son, and toothy spirit.

Counter to these theories there is a minority opinion that the extra stuffed Crocodiles are false idols placed on the holy mantle to test the wisdom of the Cult. Only the Holy Crocodile God, in his glorious magnificance, can truly judge right from wrong. We are but dust & earth under his clawed feet & scaly belly.

The most popular view as of June 2008 is that the Alligator is purest evil, that there is only one Crocodile though He may be represented by any number of stuffed avatars, and that zombies can praise the Crocodile (Braarz za Grargargarah) too.

The Pilgrimage

The pilgrimage involves a visit to the humble birthplace of the Scaly Lord, The Reptile House of the City Zoo. Once there, followers often give thanks and praise for the safe journey, in the belief that the Stuffed Crocodile will provide along the way. Followers can often be heard giving the joyous message to the faithful: "Celebrate with me the good news, oh followers of the Taxidermied Terror! The trip may be dangerous, but his scales shall protect thee!"

The first day: The original journey involved traveling from the Skarin Row Police Department to Kelreher Walk Police Department in Randallbank.

The second day: On the second day, followers reach The Reptile House with one AP left to properly worship the Toothy Savior before going back to the Kelreher Walk Police Department.

The third day: On the third day, followers travel back from Kelreher Walk Police Department to Skarin Row Police Department, the actual location of The Stuffed Crocodile.

Scripture

"Our Crocodile, who art in the PD,
Holy be Thy sharp teeth.
This armageddon come, we art skrewed,
Inside buildings as we are outside.
Give us this day more ammo, and forgive us our PKing,
As we forgive those that PKed against us.
And lead us not into zombie hordes,
And deliver us from Malton. Amen."
--The Book of Teeth

"When there is no light, He Shall be the Light.
When hope fades, He will become hope.
And if we are to be judged by our last stand, then let him stand beside us.
He is the Crocodile."
--The Book of Teeth

One unknown disciple writes:
"He came to me in a dream, in which He was hanging not in this place, but instead in the St Aidan's Hospital. 'KEEP THEM VERY STRONGLY, FOR THE PEOPLE KNOW NOT WHAT THEY DO,' He told me, and I looked and saw His toothy mouth smiling above the barricades. I heard moaning as zeds approached those who were locked outside, left to suffer the consequences. 'TELL THE OTHERS,' He charged me. And with a wink, a toothy grin, and a puff of smoke, he was gone and I awoke."
--The Book of Teeth

"And through the waters of life do we all swim,
guided by His Scaled Magnificence,
and He shall hold us,
and He shall help us,
and we need not fear the depths.
--The Book of Teeth

"By His toothy visage, I shall smite ye!"
--Battle cry of Mrrrggggh, a former zombie serving the Scaly Lord

"The great one spoke to me tonight, as I was hacking off zack's head. He said that if I bring 100 brothers into the cult, he will make Kelly Clarkson my love slave."
--Vision given to a faithful disciple

"The Crocodile reigneth high above; He is mighty, he is great!
There between the European paintings He sits, let the people praise His name!
He is King and He maintains the right, He restoreth our HP!
Worship and exalt the Eternal One! Holy, Mighty Majesty!"
--Hymn of the Crocodile

"When we in darkness walk
Nor feel the heavenly flame
Then is the time to trust our Croc
And rest upon His name!! Amen."
--Prayer of the Crocodile

"Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Croc my life to keep
If I should die before I wake
I pray the Croc my revive make
Amen"

Miracles

Various miracles have been attributed to the benevolence of the Stuffed Crocodile. More miracles can be added here as the faithful are blessed.

Circa June 12, 2009: One worshipper was able to find 9 health kits with 10 AP in time to help slow an invasion of Skarin PD.

Circa 6th May, 2007: The power of the crocodile allowed a survivor to kill 5 zombies within 50 AP...

8th May, 2007: A former zombie was seen to be seized by a holy vision: "Our scaly defender has sent me a sign!" he said, "While praying to his toothy visage, I found this radio, and look, it is set to 27.53 MHz... from now on, that must be the scaled one's frequency!" The zombie then looked around dazed, before asking if anyone had a radio transmitter.

17th May, 2007: A believer of the crocodile was able to find 5 revivication syringes with only 50 AP.

25th of May, 2007: After the destruction of the Skarin PD generator, a replacement generator and a can of fuel were found using only 5 searches in a nearby factory. Sources are split over whether this constitutes a miracle, but in these faithless times, one must take what one can get.

Testimony

"It is hard for me to believe that just a few weeks ago, I was lost, wandering Malton without direction. I had been in West Boundwood, supporting a hospital there. There was a girl there, a goddess really. I thought we had a thing going, but when I finally worked up the nerve to ask her to come away with me, and start our own little safehouse together, she turned me down. I was hurt. At the time I didn't understand why such a thing could happen. It was hard to be around her after that, so one day I just gathered up my guns and left. I drifted around Malton for several weeks. I kept looking for a home where there was comradity, and love and power. Everywhere I stopped, the survivors seemed as dead on the inside as Zack was on the outside. When I wandered into Skarin PD, little did I know how much my life would change! Truely, this can be not random luck! All this time the Crocodile has been grooming me for His service. He led me here with his devine power! Doing His work, with my brothers under the Croc, guided by His toothy wisdom, has been the greatest, most uplifting, fullfilling, overpowering experience of my entire life!. Praise his Holy Mighty Majesty, The Alpha and the Omega, The Most High, and Powerful! Bow down and thank the Crocodile for all His blessings and forsake all other stuffed zoological specimens! AMEN Give me a beer, brother! The Croc is King!"
--TMX Elmo

"I embarked on my journey with high faith and a blatent curiosity of what awaited me at the holy zoo, i set off on the three day pilgramage and got only slightly sidetracked and low on AP, so I rested a night in an abandoned car repair shop. The next day I searched for the other police department of our lord croc, and arrived not only to find distruction, but every single survivor in the building was killed by zombies! there was a horde of more than 50 zombies all around! With only 3 ap left our glorious lord provided me cover in a nearby lightly barracaded, unpowered building, the croc must of watched over me, because not one single zombie decided to break down my barracade! I set off towards the holy zoo.... only to find HUNDREDS of zombies infesting the holy sancuary! I HAVE NEVER SEEN SO MANY IN MY LIFE! but lo and behold our Scaley Lord watched over me and even presented me zookeeper clothing to wear! I, however, was not in good spirits. I thought for sure I wasn't going to make it through the night, since I had to crash in an abandoned movie theater just outside the zoo, however I awoke the next day ALIVE, and UNSCRATCHED! After prasing the holy croc, I set off towards home! I can say that it must of been no less than a divine work of our merciful Croc to grant me safe journey and protection... I RETURN WITH THE SAME HP AS I LEFT!"
--Bizkit66

"I can't believe the Crocodile bloody bit me. He's alive! He's really alive!"
--The Lynch

Tim Quinton said "Out of all the safe havens I chose... why did I have to come across the Croc cult? ."
Bizkit66 said "Tim Quinton, the Croc has an intrest in you! Lay down your life, and give into his scaily greatness and he will make you shine anew! like the whites of his pearly teeth!"
mark eaton said "Because the Stuffed Crocodile will even watch over you, Tim Quinton. He looks over zombies, former RK'ers, and many others who've found the assurance of his toothy blessing."
Tim Quinton said "Well, I'll say this much. At least you guys make it more interesting here."
tbwaffles said "The Croc is the safest haven of all, Tim Quinton."

Known Members

Acidical - Military; Status: Alive; Unknown
Alexis Bledel - Civilian; Status: Alive; Molesting "The Lynch"
Arikane - Civilian; Status: Alive; Unknown
Aurix - Military; Status: Alive; Active Member
Bizkit66 - Military; Status: Alive; Active
Boris81 - Civilian; Status: Alive; Unknown
Cam333ca03 - Civilian; Status: Unknown
Cambo81 - Military; Status: Alive; Active
Cloud Strife SOLDIER - Military; Status: Unknown
Clove - Military; Status: Alive
Crazy Mofo8 - Military; Status: Unknown
Crocodile Cultist - Civilian; Status: Alive; Active
Doktor - Civilian; Status: Unknown
Dr Mcdoogle - Scientist; Status: Alive; Active Member
Dr Vampire - Scientist; Status: Alive; Active
Edward Bascombe - Military; Status: Unknown
Eqlizer - Civilian; Status: Alive; Active Member
Fenster McSweeny Civilian; Status: Unknown
Ferhago Alexander - Civilian; Status: Unknown
Guinness Medic - Army Medic; Status: Unknown
Jam Kuradoberi - Military; Status: Alive; Active Member
Jimbob the third - Scientist; Status: Unknown
Jockler - Military; Status: Alive; Active Member
Johann Tod - Military; Status: Alive; Active Member
Jokeasassin - Civilian; Status: Alive; Active Member
Katie LaRue - Civilian; Status: Unknown
Klip non - Military Status active

Lova - Civilian; Status: Unknown
Mark Eaton - Civilian; Status: Unknown
Mrrrggggh - Civilian; Status: Alive; Active Member
Poonizzle - Military; Status: Unknown
ReaverVade - Civilian; Status: Missing
Robert Locke - Civilian; Status: Unknown
Samboy - Civilian; Status: Unknown
Sanqui - Scientist; Status: Unknown
Seisenshi - Military; Status: Unknown
Sneeto - Civilian; Status: Unknown
Tbwaffles - Military; Status: Unknown
TMX Elmo - Military; Status: Unknown
Twincam - Scientist; Status: Alive; Active Member
UDR - Reformed Zombie; Status: Alive; Active Member
Vesalus Ti'Chondrius - Civilian; Status: Unknown
Vicki black - Civilian; Status: Unknown
Wounded Coyote- Policeman; Status: Active
Coven - Civilian; Status: Alive, Active Member
Xasrai - Military; Status: Unknown
Zomborger -Civilian; Status: Residing in Monroeville under the alias Lieksha
Zombra - Civilian; Status: Unknown
Stuffed Crocodile - Civilian; Status: Getting guns and XP.

Update your Status Regularly!

Status in Monroeville

One known member of the cult, Zomborger, has escaped from Malton and found his way into the recently infected city of Monroeville under the name of Lieksha. Although this one member has been confirmed in Monroeville it is still unknown if the Crocodile may have other agents or any influence in this city, whether to protect or attack humans or zombies.

Official Template

	The Cult of the Stuffed Crocodile
	This user/group either worships His Scaled Magnificence or pays homage to such Toothy Might and His respective followers.

Our Alliances and Enemies

Friends
Dunningwood Warriors?
Qızılbaş

Alligator Minions
Flowers of Disease
Defenders of the Gummer Bank
Church of Reathxia