The Abandoned
Length of the Campaign – 31 Days (October 31st, 2011 - November 30th, 2011)
Documented Abandoned Kills – 100
Following the Samhain stike the FOD deliberated and came to the conclusion that The Abandoned, located in Yagoton and some outlying areas, needed to be paid a visit.
The campaign began with the dreaded decayed rose being placed at the Abandons doorstep. Upon finding it a baffled and confused Eagle of Fire asked, "Is this supposed to mean something, mister Flower of Decay guy?". The FOD would soon come to the conclusion the Eagle (or Eeegies as he likes to be called) get’s confused often.
As thunder boomed from the ominous black clouds blanketing Malton, the FOD wheelbarrows were lowered from their trucks. Each was inspected to be sure they were sturdy enough to withstand the rigors of transporting the Abandoned carcasses that were sure to come.
In the meantime, the village idiots of the Abandoned continued to circle the rose on their doorstep attempting to ascertain its meaning.
"It is certainly a most delicate, if slightly wilted, flower", a befuddled Private Mark exclaimed.
Without fanfare or signal the first Abandoned swine, Floyd’ Pinkerton, met his end on the streets of Malton. With such force and violence was Floyd’ dealt that he apparently chose to curl up in some dark corner of Malton rather than continue to work out in the open. The FOD hunted him with no more malice that any other of the Abandoned flock but were only able to find him on a few other occasions. But as the first death of many the Abandoned would suffer concluded The FOD looked upon Pinky with something akin to pity as he drew his last breath before descending into that wretched state of undeath the other members of the Abandoned would soon come to know all too well.
One by one, the flotsam were harvested. The wheelbarrows creak and groan under the weight of corpse after corpse being piled up in them. Abandoned heroes such a Bravo Kilo, Wileysez, Rohndogg1 (whom we established to be incapable of learning new tricks), Swoop8, Private Mark - hereto known as Macampos, SkittyCat, Goloniel, and many others were served up and delivered into the ranks of the undead. Soon the production levels of the local Necrotech facilities were stretched well beyond their maximum capacity by the increased demand caused by the mob of Abandoned zombies. Over and over, the FOD strolled into nearly any given building in Yagoton only to find another Abandoned patsy, rolled over like a pregnant cat, curled into a fetal position waiting for the 'bad guys' to go away...
...and just as they thought it couldn't get worse, The FOD’s ranks swelled again with more hunters. A bounty hunter, a lunatic, a death note holder, former CGR patriots...even a wiki administrator! They could no longer abide the flotsam in their midst and, like death incarnate they came, delivering justice to any Abandoned victim they could find.
It was then when the Abandoned displayed an unexpected knack for comedy. As they lay dying in ditches, Macampos and Eeegies penned the beginning of a stand up act. Through the grapevine the FOD hear rumors they had attempted to contact Andrew Dice Clay to deliver it but (understandably) he wanted no part of Malton. His career might be dead but he himself still drew breath and he wanted to keep it that way. Despite the lack of any “talent” to delivery in, the act was full of zingers about Abandoned slaughtering members of the Flowers of Decay wholesale. Included were various lines concerning the Abandoned’s disinterest in the FOD, that they could not care less, and that this campaign was little more than a minor inconvenience to them. Yet their true feelings were laid bare in the acerbic and angry chatter that accompanied the false apathy on their wiki and in game. Maddawgmax was heard commenting foolishly that Pker's are not allowed in the game or how the FOD would be purged from the suburb by the might and will of the Abandoned.
Talk is cheap. The abandoned continued to be harvested.
The end began to draw nigh. The abandoned changed tactics. In desperation, they attempted subterfuge through forum spying. On the FOD doorstep arrived...umm...errrr...something Gorilla. He was so insignificant that the collective mind of the Flowers of Decay were unable to recall his full name. The gorilla claimed to want to try a new life, claimed to share a common interest with the FOD. Unfortunately for him Raddox Murtangle, quickly smelled a rat. The fiend was outed as none other than the Abandoned's own Maddawgmax and promptly shown the door but the Abandoned were undeterred. Strange coincidences begin to occur to FOD members. At first it was random Pking's from unknown and unaffiliated individuals (Dr. Diabolo, YOUR M0M and El Gorgo). Then it became more frequent and the occasional death in the ranks of the FOD emboldened The Abandoned. Suddenly these random individuals began tag teaming FOD members with Abandoned members in real time.
What the Abandoned failed to recognize though was that this kickback was the what the Flowers of Decay had spent the last month longing for. Where is the fun in killing helpless children? These useless parasites had spent the last four weeks absorbing their casualties and relying on the other survivors of Yagoton to keep them revived and healed while providing no services in return. For being the caretakers of Yagoton and Millen hills signs of the Abandoneds neglect and irresponsible stewardship plagued the burb. But the resistance they did manage to muster was too little and far too late.
The FOD continued to march ever forward towards their target goal and despite the sudden real time attack by Doctor Diabolo, YOUR M0M and El Gorgo on Onomatopoeia, the newest member of the Flowers of Decay crushed the skulls of the last two victims of the Abandoned under his boot heel to claim the 99th and 100th scalps.
The FOD invested over a month into coaxing a response out of the Abandoned, educating them on the need to band together and face an adversary with honor and a proportionately violent response. As the Flowers of Decay load their wheel barrows back into their trucks the conclusion has been drawn (some would say inevitably) The Abandoned were irredeemable to the last.
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A Decaying Rose
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Someone has left a decaying rose on your doorstep. Thanks for the scalps...100 Abandoned heads claimed
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