Amusing Locations in Malton/Malton Girl on Girl Parade

Two girls having fun on parade day.

Holy crap, what a day.

The Malton Girl on Girl Parade, aka the "Malton Mardi Gras", is an annual lesbian pride parade and festival for the lesbian community in Malton. Despite claims to the contrary by the Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras, it is in fact the largest gay pride parade in the world, even though it is restricted to gay women - excluding gay men and transsexuals. Interestingly, the parade has incorporated a bisexual float each year it has been held, although these participants must be female and are only allowed to engage in intimate acts with other female paraders, as per the parade's code of conduct.

A famous exception to this code was Jugsy McApples, who, after seventeen years as a parade icon (twice with her own float!), was discovered to be not a woman "visiting from Monroeville" as she claimed, but in fact a cross-dressing man from a prominent northeast Malton family!! After an intense meeting of the parade committee - during which Cassandra "Butch Cassidy" Miller, head of parade security, resigned - it was decided that Jugsy be allowed to continue parade participation, provided she stay at all times within the confines of a gigantic bird cage.

The crowd down Dike Avenue.

During the tumultuous 1970's 2 Cola became the major sponsor of the parade, creating a series of what could be conceived as lewd adverts in order to create an image that would be perceived as modern and 'down with the kids'. The campaign was hugely successful with sales of the drink exceeding supply for over 6 months leading to what is often known as the 'Great Cola drought of 1975'. For 2 Cola's main rival Pepsi Cola this was something of a boon as patrons, desperate for 2 Cola and whipped into something of a frenzy from the cocktail of addictive drugs in every delicious mouthful of 2-Cola were forced to Pepsi to fulfill their needs as supplies of 2 Cola ran out. Thankfully an aggressive expansion, you no doubt remember the 2-Cola television advertisements from the time, "A 2 Cola factory in every suburb", by 1976 2 Cola could be found in any self respecting vending machine in our fair city. The parade begins at Dike Avenue, passes through Gay Avenue, and ends in the respective Arkham Sisters, known affectionately by parade-goers as "The Twins".