User:Ron Burgundy
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I'm Ron Burgundy? |
| This user isn't sure if he claims to be Ron Burgundy. |
The False World
Ron Burgundy enjoys a glass of scotch. His hair is perfect. Incidentally, Ron Burgundy is also a bad ass. He is easily eight feet tall and must weigh in excess of three hundred pounds. One look at him and it seems clear, this man eats nothing but ribs and washes it down with nothing but Scotch. But your eyes deceive you, for Ron Burgundy regularly drinks the coagulated blood of his zombie foes and has recently taken to eating nails and broken glass. It hurts, but in a good way.
Clearly, at eleven feet tall, Ron Burgundy is like a God walking among mere mortals. And indeed, it would be easy to make such a mistake. Burgundy carries the very Trident of Poseidon in his left hand and the very Scotch Glass of Mephistopheles in his right. He's ambidextrous. They say he once ate the heart of a Pirate Hooker and let the blood drip down to his children for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. But Ron Burgundy, though virile, has no children.
Indeed, there is no time for children in a world full of foul, loathsome zombies! There is time only to please the Gods! That is to say, there is time only to bring one's foes a Death that is both Swift and Hideous.
It is this task which has brought the Channel 4 News Team out of their studio and into the abandoned streets of Malton! Things really escalate around here. I mean, things really get out of hand fast. In fact, this one time, Brick killed a guy. He just ran the guy right through with Ron's trident! Then, dropping the still-warm corpse to the ground, pointed at his next victim and yelled, "I will feel her blood on my hands- Tonight at seven o'clock, eight central."
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Channel 4 News Team Affiliate |
| This user or group entered Glorious Battle beside the Channel 4 News Team. There were horses and a man on fire and this user or group killed a guy with a trident. Afterward, we could barely lift our arms because we killed so many zombies. I don't know if you heard us counting. We killed over 1,000. |
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A Colossus Of Class |
| This user or group is part of the New Malton Colossus. Bringing Glorious Battle to you since 2006. |
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Blackmore Bastard |
| The Blackmore Bastard Brigade forced the RRF to lay siege to their own NecroTech- and that's why this user proudly wears their badge. It's in the form of a small button on his lapel. God, that lapel looks good. Staggeringly good.
8/18/06 - 10/13/06 |
"Rahn Barganbah? Mrh rah Rahn Hambargarbah!" -A zombie, during the Battle of the Bear Pit
"Those waiting at St. Isidore's Church can enjoy the equal likelihood of a peaceful return to life at the point of a needle or a sharp headshot at the hands of the Channel 4 News Team, led by the most bodacious Ron Burgundy." -Blutraski, during the first Siege of Caiger Mall
"I always knew I'd shoot you in a mall liquor store, Burgundy." -Zaruthustra, upon finding me in Ackland Mall after a week's pursuit
"I put my head to the cades and listened to the growing wind....ron is back it whispered, Ron is Back it proclaimed, RON is BACK it roared! And so would I be, back with the team, drinking, filming, filming us drinking, drinking while filming and making San Diego proud!" -23skidoo rejoices, October of 2007
