User:Darth Sensitive/Sandbox/Dance Off!
When battles cannot be settled on the streets of Malton. When disputes cannot be resolved at Arbitration. When you just have the urge to boogie, there is... the DANCE OFF!
God vs. Bob Hammero
This dance off was begun the cold wastelands of the Vandal Banning pages, only to migrate to a safer spot.
People involved
God's Team
- God
- Niilomaan
- Canuhearmenow
- Robocop
- Lucifer
Bob's Team
The Judges
- Darth Sensitive (Channeling Randy Jackson)
- Zod Rhombus
- Thari
The Dancing
Music starts to play softly. It crescendos as the starting gong sounds.
Canuhearmenow does a vicious Chicken Dance while doing the Jackson Moonwalk, he is even wearing a Chicken Suit!
The Lord God moves in mist form, swirling and twisting before taking on the shape of a man. In a whirling dervish of extending and rippling limbs, God pulsates and thrusts to the music. After a few showy moves that could be likened to watching a storm cloud breakdance, The Lord God suddenly stops with arms folded. A mind-controlled Bob Hammero, struggling against the unstoppable will of the Lord, shakily marches out in front and is forced to do the Robot as God gestures like a mad puppeteer. With sheer unseen force, the Lord God gestures Bob Hammero high into the sky above and lets him fall back off the dance floor. God does a short pop-and-lock routine before dispersing with a ninja-like puff of mist at the final beat of his routine.
Sonny Corleone walks in like Tony Manero into Studio 54 and breaks out into Disco, stealing the dance floor with his Italian-American skills.
Niilomaan takes his brand new SpongeBob shaped air guitar and starts playing it extremely fast while moshing like crazy. After few seconds he manages to hit his head on a wall and falls unconscious.
As the smoke clears Jedaz takes the spotlight. His ignorance about various dance techniques spawn a new dance style involving several kittens. He finishes off with a painful looking split without even wincing.
Canuhearmenow then dramatically rips off his Chicken Suit, revealing a pure white Jumpsuit. He then proceeds to do a double back flip, followed by break dancing that would make you cry with Joy.
Suddenly, the lights go out and the music stops. All-encompasing darkness fills the room as the viewers mumur and chatter in confusion. Suddenly a booming, monotone voice echoes through the building. "Dead or Alive, you're coming with me." The crowd does ape shit, screaming and hollering as the lights go on in a dazzling technicolor display. Robocop stands in the center of it all, authoratative and as still as steel. Robocop's jet black visor shilds his eyes as he turns his head from side to side, surveying the boisterous crowd. Suddenly with a pneumatic hiss, Robocop takes a step forward. In a fluid motion, his chest opens and unfolds into an elaborate system of speakers. The deep thrum of beatboxing blasts from the speakers as fireworks go off in the background. Bummm-psht-ba-dsh-dsh-wikka-wikka, Bummm-psht-ba-dsh-dsh-wikka-wikka! Robocop goes into a surprisingly graceful routine, his arms rolling and locking in inhuman directions as his torso rotates 360 degrees at the waist. All the while, Robocop lays down his own phat cyborg beats. As suddenly as they appeared, the large speakers fold back into Murphey's metal body. He drops to the floor as the regular music picks up again, doing the worm with metallic clanks and gear grinds. Finishing in a full headstand, Robocop fires his high-tech service revolver at the wall, leaving a gigantic "R" in bullet holes. With a final blast of fireworks, Robocop slides on his knees. He stops right in front of the judges before blowing the smoke from his gun barrel and holstering it.
Suddenly, Canuhearmenow says booming "TAKE ME DOWN TO FUNKY TOWN!" busts into some hardcore Disco fever, doing some lightning quick arm and leg movements, and ending with a brutal Pelvic Thrust routine, while using Robocop as a sort of Disco Ball. Don't know if this is just Disco Fever, or the Pills he found in a corner.
The music stops and is replaced by "TNT" by AC/DC. Sonny runs out and slides on the floor dressed as Angus Young and proceeds to whail on the guitar."
As the music mixes with an old-timey operatic theme, a figure descends from above. A woman dressed in elizibethan garb lands gracefully on the dance floor, arms crossed over a delicate lace corset. The figure's large hair do supports an elaborate model ship that plays off of her sandy beige ball gown. Suddenly the music picks up, a remix of operatic classical music and funky techno beats. The figure looks up, her face painted a powdery stark white, with thick black eye liner and a large mole on the cheek. As the music gets more frantic and a line of sultry back-up dancers in black leather bikinis step into the scene, the figure rips off its ball gown and wig. Standing before the crowd is the dark lord Satan, glistening muscles and wild black hair playing off of his painted face, black corset, and diamond-studded black leather thong. The prince of lies immediately goes into a heady routine of dirty dancing mixed with fluid, serpent-like moves that would make any pole dancer jeolous. As the back-up dancers condort in ways that border on public obscenity, Lucifer struts forward ala Mick Jagger, gyrating and thrusting to the fast-paced music pumping through the room. In a leap befitting a predator, Satan rockets onto the judge's table, standing above the awestruck judges. Satan goes into a bump and grind routine atop the table, slowly unlacing his corset. He drops the corset in front of one lucky judge before stepping gracefully off of the table. As the dark lord of Hell struts back to his back-up dancers, the crowd gets an eyeful of the evil, yet strangely arousing backside from Hell. Striking Vogue-like poses to the beat, Satan gestures to each of his dancers as they disappear in bursts of flame one by one. When all of the dancers are gone, Lucifer freezes in a crouched pose, head down. He looks up suddenly, lips puckered as if giving the crowd a kiss goodbye before he bursts into flames and vanishes.
Canuhearmenow starts dancing wonderfully to "Thriller" and is joined by twenty Choreographed Zombies. Then proceeds to Headshot all of them like Revolver Ocelot in MGS 2, which is a art in and of itself. Then pours some of the cold zombie blood over Niilomaan, waking him up. Only to Pistol Whip him, knocking him out yet again...
The Judging
Darth Sensitive
- Nods favorably at the dancing chicken who can manage to groove to mariachi music while moving backwards.
- Appreciates the abstract nature of God's performance, but most enjoys the expression on God's bearded face as he meddles in the affairs of mortals.
- Is slighly perturbed by the fact that there is no longer a hardwood dancefloor, but only a concrete slab.
Zod Rhombus
- Was transfixed at the Chicken Dance while moving backwards, an unorthodox combination that pays off.
- Inspired by the 'rippling limbs' of God. The forced participation by the opposite party was a nice touch as was the divine pop-n-lock.
- Studio 54? Did I miss the coke table upstairs? *rushes from judging table*
Thari
- Coughs violently after breathing God's mist.
- Raises his thumbs on Bob Hammero's robot.
- Follows Zod upstairs yelling for coke as he throws his hammer to knock Zod out.
