Queer Jew Renegades

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Queer Jew Renegades
Abbreviation: QJR
Group Numbers: 3, maybe more
Leadership: Not
Goals: Kill Enemies
Recruitment Policy: Open
Contact: Leave your message on this page

The End and the Beginning

Another Filthy Day

Shafts of light filtered through the bullet holes in Chaffey, the place he had come to think of as home. Not wiped the concrete dust from his face and opened his eyes, there were dead lying in the middle of the floor, like blood soaked ragdolls, all wrong angles and splintered bones. He sniffed the air, stifled a gag, they were stinking up already, he never got used to the putrid smell of rotting death. He recognised a few of them, people he used to call his comrades, his brothers, his family... the Docs would be along soon to revivify them, the others needed to be dragged out before they woke up, confused and hungry for brains. Someone else could do it today, he cocked his shotgun just in case.

There was graffiti on the wall, His name and a death threat crudely scrawled in dripping red paint. It wasn't that unusual these days, things had become confusing since he'd come back. It had been a long time since we had all been together and things had changed, people had changed, he had changed, ever since he saw the zombie, that one that looked like Mary, the one he couldn't shoot.

Benway was awake and squatting over by Malachai's bunk, muttering in hushed tones. Looking over at him, what the fuck were they plotting this time? not wondered. It seemed like a long time since he'd seen eyeball to eyepatch with those two and yet he could still recall the times they had stood side by side, blowing undead brains out, cocking shottys together *clunk clik*, a knowing wink and then BOOM another perfectly executed headshot. Death as an art form with green blood and rancid flesh for paint and the citys' broken pavements and bullet-ridden concrete for canvas.

Not was shaken out of his daydream by a calloused hand touching his nipple. His knife was drawn and positioned under the assailants windpipe in hundredths of a second,

"WAIT, it's m-me.. R-ralph"

Not wiped spittle from the blade and put it back in it's sheath.

"I warned you before, don't touch me there Ralphy".

"ok, ok, jesus, I just wanted to show you something" he drawled.

He pointed to the wall with the ugly threat on it.

"I seen it already Ralph, no big deal, I had death threats before, fuck, I been dead before, we all have"

Not laughed at the stupidity of it all. Ralph was pointing over towards Benway,

"look... his hands"

Not followed his gaze, Benways tiny beadlesque hands were covered in red paint, and in the pocket of his grubby jacket the damp nozzle of a spray can poked out. Malachai glanced over, saw where Not was looking, whispered something urgently to Benway who stuffed his hands in his pockets, got up slowly and waddled over in Not's direction.

Not pointed his shotty at Benway's bloated genitals

"One more move and I blow your big balls off amigo, and no doc's gonna be able to revivify those mofos"

Benway stopped in his tracks a gurning smile plastered across his pasty face.

"You're not welcome here anymore, you're bringing our name into disrepute, politics and negotiations, compromise, and affiliations are the way forward, That's the Queer Jew way..." Benway licked his greasy lips

"If sucking up to wannabe Hitlers is the way forward then fuck the Queer Jew way, Fuck it in the arse" Not bluntly countered

He turned to the bearded nipple ticker that was shaking beside him"Thanks for the heads up, see you around ralphy, don't forget to eat your greens"

Not walked slowly backwards to the broken stairwell and clambered up with his shotgun still trained on Benways' Big Nuts.

"See you in hell homeboys" He shouted and disappeared into the shadows.

Not gazed across the jagged skyline of crumbling buildings and streets littered with decaying corpses.

"looks like it's time I got the fuck out of Chaffey" He said to no one in particular

...and then, he jumped.

have fun here too



To search out and compile a hit list of the entire Five Critics group. Take out every living member at least once.

Hit list

Stick the dead guys profile up here, details optional Thanks for the profiles - still a few to collect, donations welcomed.

Thekyle Co Leader - Killed

Univest Co Leader - Killed

Southsider - Killed with shotgun and Pistol in NW corner of Dowdney Mall 8/6/07

Jan itor - Killed in Dowdney mall NE. A worthy opponent who took me down a few days before I took him down. 11/6/07

Elliot Reed



John C Reilly

Zach Braff - Killed in Dowdney SW. Science dude, didn't stand a chance. 12/6/07

Donald Faison - Killed

John C McGinley - Executed in Warren Bank 9/7/07

Alan Thicke


M A Cera - Executed in Warren Bank 9/7/07

super landis - Killed in Chaffey Alley PD on 11/7/07 by kovax. Killed again by not in Chaffey Alley PD on 12/7/07

4 British Eyes Only


Ed Greenridge - Killed 10/7/07 in The Dewes Building, went down without a sound

Ed Newtown

Ed Pontiac

Exowolf - Killed with shotgun in The Anthony Building whilst he slept - 11/6/07

John Blackhawk

Alexia Burdene

LTFC - Killed

Bill Law




Thorn Davis



This must be the last working terminal in the city

--Not 11:28, 12 July 2007 (BST) super landis was in Chaffey Alley with 69 others, I was low on ammo so I had to punch him to his death in the end, an ugly scene.

--Not 12:57, 10 July 2007 (BST) Found Ed Greenridge in the Dewes building, his pockets filled with syringes. I muffled my pistol with some rags and fired into him until he died. Nice n' easy.

--Not 15:41, 9 July 2007 (BST) Found two of them in Warren Bank - John C McGinley and M A Cera both killed dead in a single sitting. I was beginning to get disheartened with my search, I feel reinvigorated.

--Not 10:45, 12 June 2007 (BST) Found Zach Braff in The SW corner of Dowdney today, scientist guy, no real fighting ability, looked real weedy. I felt a twinge of guilt as I fired my pistol into his sleeping body but the show must go on.

--Not 10:03, 11 June 2007 (BST) Exowolf was hanging out in The Anthony building, I blasted him with the shotty, he died quick. A guy calling himself Kamikaze pleaded for his life. I explained why he had to die, I hope he understood, he didn't try to kill me, just stood there, jabbering. Jan itor was in NE of Dowdney Mall, where I found him a few days ago. That time I tried to kill him but when it came to the final shot the exhaustion took over me and I blacked out. When I awoke I was a Z. It took me a few days to recover and this time he went down fast. A worthy opponent though.

Death. The cold black sleep. I am becoming accustomed to it. This time it was served by a man who wore no badge on his sleeve, just a warrior with right on his side, my poor scarred head has a bounty on it. I am not, Kill on Sight. Do not revive. I still have allies willing to help me with my cause, so tonight I sleep until I am awakened with the rude stab of a needle.

--Not 14:10, 8 June 2007 (BST) I killed Southsider today, he was in the NE corner of Dowdney Mall, asleep under a pile of boxes, snoring and dribbling. I hit him with the shotgun full in the face first shot. BOOM. A circle of gristle and burnt flesh. I like to think this improved his looks. Still after that he took a long time to die, had to use all my shotgun bullets and when they ran out I started firing my pistol into his guts. He never got to open his eyes, never got to see his assassin, never got to see the smile on my lips. Once he stopped breathing I ripped his name tags from his neck and stuck 'em on my hit list. Another one bites the dust.


Stay out of Chaffey. --Benway 17:25, 6 June 2007 (BST)

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