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"A Soft Answer

Turneth Away Wrath.

Once Wrath Is Looking

The Other Way,

Shoot It In The Head."

About Me

The famous ancient chinese general and tactician, Sun Tzu, once said "Invincibility lies in the defence; the possibility of victory in the Attack".


If Sun Tzu knew about zombies and Mall sieges, he'd know better than to say that to a survivor.

I really like making suggestions. Rrrreaaaalllly. I've made like... 15, maybe 16 suggestions in either Suggestions or Talk:Discussion since I started on the wiki so far, and I've been on the wiki less than 2 months. Waaaay too much time on my hands, or maybe my job just gives me a lot of free time. Legal secretary, at least until I find out how I did on the Bar.

You see... I made my first character 5 months ago, but only started really playing about 3 months ago. Nice timing huh? I start playing a survivor and right afterwards, Kevan updates with massive pro-zombie updates (apparently before I was here, being a survivor was a breeze where survivors only challenge was seeing how long they could play house before a PKer came around to kill someone, and the powers that be decided since I was going to play the game they didn't want to baby me). Then 1500+ Something Awful goons arrive en masse to destroy everything, by any means necessary. Maybe I'm just a bad luck charm. Oh well, at least I'm cute.


  • I'm a legal secretary (not a lawyer, but I work around lawyers).
  • I am happy that I don't work at Empire anymore. They are cheap SOBs and do not accomodate when you bring in new clients.
  • I have 2 years under my belt as a professional mediator for the city family court - but mediation requires both sides to be willing to compromise.
  • I hope to go to law school one day.
  • I am a gamer grrl. I like zombie movies, video games and Family Guy. I even understand the humor of the Three Stooges.
  • I have an active life outside of playing Urban Dead and being on the Wiki - I mainly do this stuff while things are slow at work.
  • I don't back down from confrontations in RL, so I certainly wouldn't online.
  • I live in New York, though I was not born in New York. My name is Russian, and a lot of my family is from Israel or Russia.
  • I play a lot of sports. Including many traditionally 'guy' sports. Except american football. Don't like to play it or watch it.
  • Math doesn't intimidate me.
  • Cursing me out doesn't intimidate me.
  • Kiling my character doesn't intimidate me.


I have three characters - one survivor, two zombies. One is dead and reviving and surrounded by red on one side of the map, the second is a zombie and surrounded by red on the other side of the map. The third is a member of Feral Undead (though she's still a Dual Nature), and just finished a siege which ended pretty quickly when the Dead came down. I think I got about 8 hits before all the meals were gone. I guess that's why I've been so busy making Suggestions lately. I'll consider making their names public after things settle down in the game.

My Suggestions So Far

Current Tally: Lost Count
Peer Reviewed: 2
Peer Rejected: 1
Undecided: 5
Spamminated: 1
Dupe: 1 (but with many keeps)
Ended in Talk:Discussion: 7

  • Too Many Shotguns, Not Enough Shells - (My first 'real' suggestion once I finally knew what the heck I was doing on the wiki) - (7 keeps/24 kills/1 Spam/Dupe) - Got put in Peer Rejected - I guess I tried to make too big of a suggestion :) (but I shall improve!)
  • Saws and Sawed Off Shotguns - Mechanics were fine, but ended it Myself in Talk:Discussion to work one that would work more believably (Different Types of Shotgun Ammo) - also was talked out of it in favor of something better by Airborne
  • Who the heck is barracading?! - Was declared a Dupe of a Peer Reviewed suggestion which had a lot of keeps and almost no kills (but still got 11 keeps even after it was made declared Dupe to 'show support for the dupe' :) ) - still think it's very much needed in the game
  • Sledge Hammer - Currently 34 Keeps, 4 Change or Weak Kills, 4 outright Kills, 1 Spam/Dupe (inane one from an insane troller, doesn't count) - My first successful Peer Reviewed Suggestion!
  • Free Calling and Charges - My second Peer Reviewed Suggestion! - 42 Keeps (4 after cutoff date though), 6 Kills (1 of which is an inane vote by a retarded gerbil, and 2 of which seem invalid to me because of the reasoning given but meh, whatever) - note: Highest amount of keeps of any vote I've seen.
  • Hitting Punch up a Notch - I ended this one in Talk:Discussion because someone else came up with something much better and put it on Voting (The Old One-Two)
  • Join the Gun Club - Went to voting, (17 keep, 15 kills, 1 dupe - which isn't a dupe but whatevah) and after one kill with swearing in it I decided to dump it rather than stay annoyed. Then I realized he was just generalizing. I guess I'm a little thin skinned when people swear at me? At the last minute I decided -against- dumping it. Might as well let it go the whole 9 yards since I havent seen any kill votes that have convinced me that I -should- drop it. And several keep votes convinced me not to drop it. - Wound up declared UNDECIDED
  • Speargun - Just went to voting - Mainly a flavor thing, but with sound mechanics and does serve a useful purpose. Currently at 18 keep/10 kill/2 spam (inane ones)/1 incomplete (have tried to elaborate for him now). First time I'd been directly subjected to rudeness and namecalling. Immaturity on the internet - who would have guessed? - Wound up UNDECIDED, but with a 29 keep votes and 21 kill votes. Quite a feat for a primarily flavor, rather off-kilter weapon. But I like it.
  • The Tumbler Slug - a revised, less complex version of Different Types of Shotgun Ammo - wound up in Undecided, but had a HUGE amount of keep votes. Unfortunately not quite enough to move it from undecided to reviewed. I'll probably make a 2.0 of it when I think of a way to improve it.
  • Different Types of Shotgun Ammo - Went to voting, then I pulled it because people felt it was too complex... I agree - biggest suggestion I've come up with, actually - so I'm going to split it into smaller suggestions, and let people pick and choose which they'd want to keep, starting with The Tumbler Slug (see above)
  • Wasteland Ammo Dump - still in talk:discussion - might not bring it to voting due to very good points made by Swiers and Pesatyel
  • M-11 Military Pistol - good reviews in Talk:Discussion, but might do the nail gun idea instead. Or will try nail gun and if it is undecided, will go to this as a backup.
  • Memories of Life NT Update - brought to vote - 20 keep, 7 kill, 4 Spam (3 of which are just inane insult-hurling) - who knew there would be so much drama over a very simple suggestion? - But several of the spam are from the same 3-4 people who have a bit of a dislike for me personally, so I'm not really put off by their opinions.
  • Nailguns and Nailgun Clips - Rather popular so far, despite a group voting en masse against it. Even if it's not peer reviewed, I've already seen that it has popular appeal and I'll work on a 2.0 of it, with some of the suggestions made by the less vehement kill voters. Actually the most votes on any idea I've ever made (keep or kill combined).

I've come up with 2 others but they were made when I had no clue of how to come up with good mechanics or formatting so I'm ignoring their existence like I ignore Highlander 2's existence.

My Opinions on Zombies and Humans (or Zambahs and Harmans) and other things

"Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote." ~Benjamin Franklin (and my view about how suggestion voting on the wiki currently works)

  • I like playing Dual Nature characters. Only Dual Nature characters. - I've since started a Feral Undead zombie and I'm considering starting one for Red Rum as well (but my FU is a Dual Nature as well)
  • Because of my love of tropes here's one that expresses dual naturism:
"Elizabeth: Whose side is Jack on?
Will: At the moment?"
- Pirates of the Carribbean
  • I feel that PKing and ZKing are illogical for a zombie game, at least as more than a rare occasion or due to zombie starvation. I don't agree with revive points, but I make it a priority to revive people there instead of random revives, because most people do not think the way I do and the game has lent itself to making revive points important for people's continued fun. (Added Note- I am going to make a PKer character because of Billy Club Thorton's comments - he's made me think that I might have pre-judged PK play unfairly. Added 'Added Note' - Yeah, I've misjudged most PKers. Stuck 'em in a big stereotype which probably 3/4ths of them don't belong. Most of them are well-roleplayed, decent... um... murdering psychopaths. But decent! I still think the emphasis should be on zombie vs survivor, but at least I see the logic in their madness now.)
  • I tend to be pro-survivor, I suppose, though I try to have a balanced view generally. Most likely because I started playing right before The Dead started their march and attempts to 'break the game.' That probably has colored my views of things.
  • I don't particularly like zergs, but most zergs are harmless level 1's not good for much except getting XP and the only real problem with them are as zombie ruined building placeholders or survivor meatshields. I consider both cheating but also a form of easy XP to kill them, unless I'm in a siege in which case I ignore them rather than waste my time on them. I'll let the opposition handle them instead. There's no good way to stop zergs. You can't ban proxies - they're too numerous and it would hurt people who play from work anyway. The current measures Kevan has in place work just fine, but if I see a good, original suggestion against zergs, I'll support it fully.
  • I dislike the use of game exploits, possibly even more than zergs. I never will use ?rise or ?dump, and don't think anyone else should either. There wouldn't be a button for dumping and standing up if we were supposed to use a http bypass to get around limits and speed. It's mainly used for griefing and extremely prone to abuse and little more. To those who say "but you can use ?dump" I say "?dump and ?rise are both not a part of the game. They're a part of the underlying 'code' of how the game works"
  • I believe in being courteous to others, even when they disagree with me, as long as they do so courteously. If someone insults me or calls me a name, I tend to respond in kind (though maybe I should just ignore them instead) Courteous behavior, however, will be returned a thousand fold, always.
  • While I'm pro-survivor, I have respect for certain other groups. I haven't played long but some of the groups I respect are: Feral Undead (I think Bullgod is really cool), Red Rum, Otto Octavius's Staff, THEM, The Knights Templar, and the Cannonball Crew. I've also heard good things about Philosophe Knights.
  • If you've wronged me and apologized, I'll forgive you quickly.
  • I'm most 3l334 hangman player you will ever hope to meet in your, or anyone else's, lifetime. Word.
  • I want to start belonging in groups with my players. Being alone sucks.
  • If you respond to me with swearing, you just prove to me that you're not only incapable of rational debate, but that you're an infantile momma's boy who would never have the guts to say that sort of thing to my face. And I'm 5 foot 5 1/2 and 115 lbs and have no fighting ability whatsoever ... not exactly intimidating. But I bet you still wouldn't have the guts to say it to my face. But I realize you only do so because you crave the attention.
  • If you respond to me politely, even if you disagree with everything I say for reasons that make no sense to me, I will still respect you for your maturity. I might even re-think some of my own opinions.
  • I don't mind PKing. I play dual nature characters - if you kill me I just keep playing. But I do mind when I see people doing it solely because they want to be griefers. One thing to kill someone, another thing to do because you want to get another person who takes the game too seriously upset in RL. If a person's motivation is to see how many people they can kill by using zerging or whatever (RedZeko), or because they want to 'make the pubbies cry' (The Dead), then I think that person or people really need to start to date more.
  • Whatever a pubbie is, I'm pretty sure I'm not one, because it seems to me that a pubbie is someone who takes the game so seriously that they will get upset when they get killed. I play dual nature - if I get killed I keep playing. If every single person becomes a zombie, I still consider myself on the winning 'team'.
  • I do a lot of wiki suggesting because I like a challenge. I don't consider the game to be a challenge. If you're a zombie, it just involves mashing the 'attack barracade' or bite/claw survivor keys over and over again. If you're a survivor, it just involves logging on repeatedly and running whenever you see a zombie, or healing when you see an injured survivor, or (if you're a trenchie) running out to shoot zombies then running back in and crying if you get killed, or (if you're a PKer) finding someone weak, killing them, then getting as far away as possible. It's not really a challenge no matter which you're playing. You want a challenge? Try getting suggestions into peer reviewed. No, wait... try getting pro-survivor suggestions into peer reviewed. Or zombie-nerfing suggestions. Or for the big time in difficulty, try getting WEAPONS suggestions into peer reviewed. Or even Undecided. I have a pretty good track record so far, especially considering I came into the game 3 years late. Plus you get to see who the mature people are and who the immature ones are by their reactions. :)
  • I'll probably start trying to do other wiki-related activities soon, and maybe write a guide and help with ALiM or something else, but I'm always going to be on or around the suggestions boards.

My Take on PKing

"For you, the day Bison graced your village was the most important day of your life. But for me... it was Tuesday." -M. Bison, The Street Fighter Movie

To be honest, I used to dislike it a lot. Because while in the Romero movies, there's usually someone who goes unhinged, the majority don't go killing each other. But I RP when in the game, and the idea of homicidal maniacs or people who just snap in the midst of zombie attack is a stable of Romero films. And a lot of people might want to play that character, just like a lot of people might want to play the gun-toting hero. So I accepted it.

But I tended to think that all PKers were just doing it out of sheer boredom or to be jerky.
I changed my mind on that as I got to know some of them.

Some of them are jerks (then again, so are some non-PKers), but a majority of them are actually great RPers and nice people. Some of these "murdering psychopaths" are some of my favorite people to see both in the game and on the wiki now. Wierd.

So now I've made a PKer character, and will join a PKer group once I'm back in November with her - either Philosophe Knights or Red Rum - I'll flip a coin.

But there shall be reason to her madness.

Trope Quotes

Luke: I'll never join you! You killed my father!
Vader: No, Luke. I am your father!
Luke: That's not true! That's impossible!
Vader: And Princess Leia is your sister!
Luke: That's not true! That's... improbable.
Vader: And the empire will be defeated by Ewoks!
Luke: That's... very unlikely.
Vader: And, as a child, I built C3PO!
Luke: ... Huh?
(one hour later)
Vader: And the Force? Well, that's just microscopic bacteria in your bloodstream called midi-chlorians.
Luke: Look, if you're not gonna take this seriously, I'm out.
— Robot Chicken Star Wars special

Fry: I did do the nasty in the past-y.
Nibblonian: Verily! And that past-nastification is what shields you from the brains. You are the last hope of the universe.
Fry: So I really am important? How I feel when I'm drunk is correct?
Nibbloninan: Yes, except the Dave Matthews Band doesn't rock.
- Futurama

"Only the guy superheroes got cool costumes; massive capes and scary masks and stuff. All Wonder Woman got was hooker boots and a bathing suit. I mean, what's the deal with that?"
— George, Dead Like Me

Notable Achievements

  • Was able to actually get a new melee weapon peer reviewed (Sledge Hammer)
  • Was able to get several new firearm suggestions to Undecided despite...
  • Having an entire group dedicated to trolling my suggestions and ridiculing me on the Wiki (Malton Globetrotters) - their sigs, and almost every time they post are some way to try to get 'at' me. I must be extremely important that all these little dimwits need to pool their limited brain matter together to compete with me - eg, check DrPain, Gardenator, DCC, Riseabove to name a few of the more vocal no-life losers
  • Able to keep up with Grimch's lengthy novels with novels of my own.

Templates I made myself

In addition to a TON of Play on Names templates - more coming:

Tselita has given Tselita an evil cookie for putting up with myself. Go on... eat it.
Bouquet.jpg A bouquet of flowers
Tselita has given Tselita a bouquet of flowers for making my second original template. Hope you feel better soon.
Apple.jpg Get better soon
An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
Carlin.jpg This User Mourns for Carlin
" 'Older' sounds a little better than 'old,' doesn't it? Sounds like it might even last a little longer. ... I'm getting old. And it's OK. Because thanks to our fear of death in this country I won't have to die - I'll 'pass away.' Or I'll 'expire,' like a magazine subscription. If it happens in the hospital they'll call it a 'terminal episode.' The insurance company will refer to it as 'negative patient care outcome.' And if it's the result of malpractice they'll say it was a 'therapeutic misadventure.' "
Money.png Rich
This user is rich and doesn't care what you think.
NeedHangman.gif Whatever Happened to Hangman?
This person is still waiting for another game of hangman.

For Airborne88 - so he will start doing hangman again!

Piranhaplant.jpg Scary/Cute Zombie Piranha Plant! Oooh!
This user supports Triffids in Urban Dead.

Made at a general request by someone on the Suggestions board about zombie plants. I'll vote against it, but ain't it a cutey wootey?

Jesushateszombies.jpg What Would Jesus Do? Headshot zombies with His Holy katana!
This user believes that
if Jesus were around,
he'd be a die-hard survivor because
Revelations:Some number.
Jesusisazombie.jpg What Would Jesus Do?
Eat your bra!nz after clubbing you with the cross.
This user believes that
if Jesus were around,
he'd be a die-hard zombie because JESUS IS A ZOMBIE!
No transubstantiation needed.

People should really choose one or the other. Go on, choose!

Cheezburger.jpg lolcat
This user can haz cheezburger.
Cheezburger2.jpg lolcat plus
This user can haz even bigger cheezburger.

Better than a cookie or a rat.

Bottlemod.jpg Absolut'ly Perfect Computer Mod
Drinking and Playing UD Does Mix.
If you try hard enough.

Best.... Computer Mod.... Evar.

Leiaslavegirl.jpg Jabba Fanservice
This user supports slavery.

My template. Iscariot's fault.

Sitm.jpg Warning - Those with no Sense of Humor up ahead - Avoid at all costs!
This user is an old stick in the mud.

Stick in the Mud Template - Made for Karek because he didn't like/deleted my "Play on Names" template for him. Shame!

Soh.jpg Wanted: Sense of Humor
This template redeemable for one Sense of Humor. This user desperately needs one.
Manure.jpg What a Load
This user is so full of sh... crap.
Hotair.jpg Nothing but Hot Air
This user is like a hot air balloon.
Behind the Times
Makes a Big Show of things but nothing but empty space up top
Full of Hot Air
Blowhard.jpg Your words are dumb
This user is a blowhard.
Bueller.jpg Moony!
This user is like Cameron from Ferris Bueller. He's so anal - if you shoved a piece of coal up his butt, a few minutes later you'd have a diamond. For all I know, he's already done this. Sick.
Kickpuppies.jpg At least he has to hide his fugly face
This user is a shmuck.
He kicks puppies.
Gollum.jpg How Precious! My precious.
Actual picture taken of this user.
No lie.
I did not steals this precious template.
Sweater.jpg Ah! It's the Wolfman!
This user's back is too hairy. Gross.
Cousinit.jpg Again... at least we don't have to see the fugliness.
This user so hairy,
his mother named him Tribble!

The above 5 6 7 9 were made for my number one fan - The Grimch.

Nofeed.jpg Troll Warning
This user is a troll. Back under your bridge. Don't feed!

For Gardenator - heck or for any Goon.


Noob.gif STFU N00B
This user recognizes the difference between a Newbie and a Noob.
Gates.gif Welcome
This user welcomes you to his or her userpage.
Evilcookiedb7.png A FREE COOKIE... OF EVIL!
Airborne88 has given Tselita an evil cookie for Winning Hangman!. Go on... eat it.
Noose.jpg Hangman Champion
Tselita has won Hangman 6 times (Status: Grand Dragon Ninja Master)
Tselita has given Tselita an evil cookie for putting up with myself. Go on... eat it.
Evilcookiedb7.png A FREE COOKIE... OF EVIL!
Axe Hack has given Tselita an evil cookie for making a second evil cookie. Go on... eat it.
DOH.jpg D'OH!
This user has just done something stupid.
Cookie.jpg A FREE COOKIE
Axe Hack has given Tselita a cookie for something that I would like...
Friends.jpg Airborne88's Friend
This User is a personal friend of Airborne88! For what that's worth.
This user or group supports the proper use of the Spam Vote for the most utterly ridiculous suggestions. They also realize that a Spam Vote is not a Strong Kill.
Bouquet.jpg A bouquet of flowers
Tselita has given Tselita a bouquet of flowers for making my second original template. Hope you feel better soon.
Keyhole2.jpg Just Lock the Freaking Doors Already!
This user can't figure out why survivors don't just lock their doors to keep out the zombies.
Dead.gif Urban Dead
This user plays Urban Dead. Wow, what are the odds?
Rise.GIF Prevent the up?rising
This user believes that playing Whack-A-Mole with zombies is plain retarded.
This user is a Jew.
Female.jpeg Female
This user is female.
Noob.gif I'm Smarter
This user is smarter than you.
Dawn zomb2.jpg Dont do it.
Dont try to kill every zombie, you wont win.
Button.gif No Nuclear Weapons for Zombies
This user or group believes that zombies are powerful enough already, thanks

Revive.gif Revivification Requests
Undead? Want to breathe again?
Make a Revivification Request!
Applause1.gif Congratulations!
I just read your Wiki Userpage. Fully!
Th Zweig.jpg Crusader of Logic
This user believes that any irrational comment on the Developing Suggestions page can be countered in a logical and realistic manner, without the need for petty insults.