The Malton Observer/Current: Difference between revisions

From The Urban Dead Wiki
Jump to navigationJump to search
No edit summary
Line 3: Line 3:
__NOTOC__
__NOTOC__
<font face="time">
<font face="time">
= Malton Observer: January 12th, 2009 =
= Malton Observer: February 3rd, 2009 =


The Malton Observer would like to thank its sponsors:  
The Malton Observer would like to thank its sponsors:  
*'''Left 4 Dead''' - ''Just as frustrating as Urban Dead, but without all that stupid reading.''
*'''Sloth''' - ''It's our favorite sin!''


{|border="1"
{|border="1"
Line 12: Line 12:
|[[#News at a Glance|News at a Glance]]
|[[#News at a Glance|News at a Glance]]
|-
|-
|[[#Of Malton and Music|Kids these days]]
|[[#Kristi of the Dead: A Tribute|Kristi retires!]]
|-
|-
|[[#Quis Custodiet: The Watchman's Journal|The riveting tales of a Malton Marshal]]
|[[#Mall Tour '09|Tourism in Malton]]
|-
|-
|[[#Interview with Garviel Loken|Garviel grants an audience]]
|[[#OMG Zmobie Spai!|An unprecedented look at scapegoats in Malton]]
|-
|[[#Whatever That Means!|Whatever That Means!]]
|}
|}


== News at a Glance ==
== News at a Glance ==
*'''Happy New Year!''' - I can haz a black president plz?
*'''MO Editor Disappears''' - I got better.
*'''Cineraryone Scares Kristi Away''' - According to secret sources.
*'''Chaos in Iceland''' - Has nothing to do with Malton.
*'''[[Mall Tour '09]] Kicks Off''' - 2 down, 18 to go.
*'''Holy Crap!''' - Cineraryone ''did'' scare Kristi away!
*'''[[Northeastern Crusade]] Disbands''' - Declared a success by Loken 12 hours before Dulston is crushed by horde.
*'''Obama Ends Zombie Plague''' - Reportedly healed the afflicted by shooting rainbows from his hands.
*'''Study Shows Link Between Immorality and Poverty''' - Compares socioeconomic status with the number of presents received from Santa.
*'''Being a Zombie is Not a Crime''' - So quit bothering the RG mods!
*'''Fanglord2 [http://z14.invisionfree.com/Brainstock/index.php?showtopic=8310&view=findpost&p=11887500 Speaks in Tongues]''' - Apparently, he was shooting for English.
*'''Ferrum Leo Retires''' - Good luck, from all of us at the Observer!
*'''Southrop Does Too!''' - Whoops.


==Of Malton and Music==
==Kristi of the Dead: A Tribute==
So, some readers out there might remember my last submission from Christmas. On that subject, happy new year everyone! Hope it's been good so far. (Right, who am I kidding? I'm sure it's been miserable, and it's only going to get worse) Anyhow, since then I've been accepted back into the Malton Civil Defense Unit, so naturally I've been doing a lot of traveling over the past two weeks.
I don't claim to know Kristi of the Dead as well as some others might, or perhaps even as well as I should have. However, in the days following her official departure I felt I should make some tribute to her long UD career, and that's the main reason I'm writing this.


During my travels, I've been listening to my trusty MP3 player. Yeah, an MP3 player, my wage doesn't cover the price of an Ipod. Naturally, listening to music gives you a psychological boost, but it also gives you something to do during the many many hours of tedious barricading and bickering over who eats the last Rolo in a two block radius. So far I've got through two AC/DC albums and a few Hendrix tracks, something I told a survivor who was shacked up in a building the MCDU were protecting. Expecting a musical conversation to follow, I was a bit taken back when he asked:
Kristi's achievements and qualities are too many to list, but the words "great leader" always come to mind. We didn't always see eye-to-eye in Council, but I knew she always had the DEM's best interests at heart. She was always ready, it seemed, to fiercely defend us from the "mongrel hordes" of General Chat.
"What's AC/DC?"


God damn it Malton! Just when I thought you couldn't get any worse, you throw musical heresy in my face. So this article is aimed at you, citizens of Malton, you citizens who listen to Ice Tea and 50 Pence and the like. Start listening to decent music, keep civilization alive! Seriously, this is more important than killing zombies, or hell, than celebrating Christmas! Just remember, you cant spell 'Crap' without 'Rap'.  
More than that she brought numerous intiatives and ideas to Council, and has probably had more effect on the DEM as it is today than any other DEM Chairperson in a seemingly short 23 months in the position. She was even a great Fire Chief, to the point where the position seemed to be cursed after she left, the next three fire chiefs lasting only two months each.


--'''ridleysoul'''
There is much more I could and want to say, but I'm finding that I have to restrain myself from prattling on too much. To summarize, Kristi's departure is a great loss for not only the DEM and the Brainstalkers, (Presumably the latter anyway, I'm not actually a member.) but to the entire community. There were many outside of the groups she was in who knew her, and I'm sure they will, like me, remember her as more than just a name in some ancient wiki archive page.


==Quis Custodiet: The Watchman's Journal==
-'''Labine50'''
It's been good helping out with restoration efforts and I was surprised to see how quickly life can return to a suburb when survivors work together to fix everything up. I was actually expecting it to take longer, but this came as a pleasant surprise for me to be able to return to bounty hunting so early. Since then, business has been slower than usual, though.


With most of Malton doing well, it seems the PKers are spreading out again, and I've been moving around from suburb to suburb relying on a Rogues Gallery that's no longer as reliable. I'm learning to rely more on my bounty hunter instincts more than the Rogues Gallery, though. It's more of a challenge to hunt this way, but then again, I haven't had a good challenge in a while.
==[[Mall Tour '09]]==
Yes, the Mall Tour is back for 2009. As many veterans know, the Mall Tour started after the zombies went [[On Strike|on strike]] years ago. After the update that boosted the disenfranchised zombie population's strength, the protestors went on a [[Mall Tour '06|tour]] throughout Malton, emptying 18 malls of their occupants. The only mall they assaulted that didn't fall to them was Caiger, which remained undefeated for some time. This was the first time any group had ever toured throughout Malton. The Mall Tour was [[Mall Tour '07|revived]] in 2007, again sweeping through Malton's malls, emptying 19 of the 20 malls. Caiger was already in zombie hands when the tour started.


I've found a few notorious PKers, but mostly, I've only encountered minor offenders. They're not much of a threat to me, so I usually leave them alone. I can actually recall a few times when I've slept in the same safe house with them and woke up to find myself unharmed. In fact, one such case did happen recently, and it has to be one of the most curious I've had yet.
This year, however, is different in that it is the first Mall Tour to take place since zombies have taken to ruining buildings. While this means more work for cleanup crews, the mobility of the Mall Tour means that zombies quickly move on. Fortunately for survivors, no suburbs have been held by the zeds for more than a few days so far.


Can you believe a marshal and a Red Rum member can sleep in the same safe house and not be at each other's throats? Well, it sure did happen, much to my surprise. You see, after wandering around for a while and finding no PKers, I decided to sleep in a dark building which was empty at the time. When I logged in the next day, I saw I had a new roommate.
The Mall Tour has, as of this issue, ruined Woodroffe Mall and will likely spread the destruction to other areas of Tollyton. From there, they will likely move on either to [[Nichols Mall]] in [[Stanbury Village]] or [[Blesley Mall]] in [[Gulsonside]]. The DEM encourages all survivors from the surrounding areas to aid in the defense of these malls and the recovery of the suburbs of [[Roftwood]] and [[Tollyton]]. If you wish to help fight the hordes, check their page to see [[Mall Tour '09 #Where is The Mall Tour 2009?|where they are]]. While most malls have fallen quickly, some might hold out against the horde with enough coordination and numbers.


I also saw that a passing survivor said, "Sleep tight!" before leaving, and I reckoned they knew the survivor sleeping with me. I decided to check their profile. It turned out they were a member of Red Rum with a bounty on their head. So then I decided to check on my roommate's profile, and I found this survivor was a member of Red Rum, too, although they didn't have a bounty.
--'''William Told'''


As you'd expect, I didn't stick around to ask any questions and left. I haven't seen either person since, but if I ever do, I'm sure the next time, they're probably going to notice my group tags. Since that incident, I haven't found any hunting grounds I can settle down in for a while. The nomadic lifestyle has its perks, though, and for now, I'm just going to enjoy them.
==OMG Zmobie Spai!==
Throughout Malton, survivors hear tales of the infamous [[zombie spy]]. They are called many things: Zed Sympathizer, Spai, Krampus, Everyone in your Safehouse. The stories of their horrible deeds permeate Urban Dead legends: They murder helpless civilians, they destroy generators, they torture babies with red-hot pokers... but many newcomers might find themselves wondering, "What the hell is a zombie spy, really?" This reporter set out to answer this question, that we might better understand the zmobie spaiz and the idiots who kill them.


--'''Watchman'''
A zombie spy is loosely defined as any survivor who works to help zombies. "But Will, how do I know if they're on the zeds' side?" Short answer: You don't. The criteria for what it means to be a spai is different for every person. Some people consider someone to be a spai if they scout behind barricades to locate targets for zombies, but the crimes that have been associated with spaiz are various. The more conservative users of the term only use it to refer to survivors known for [[GKing]] and [[Death Cultist|death-culting]]. Others are less discerning in its application, punishing anyone having too many zombie skills or, as Raharu once aptly put it, "being, on occasion, a zombie." Accusations are also thrown for various other reasons, such as having the word "zombie" in your name or being the wrong place at the wrong time.


==Interview with Garviel Loken==
Now that you know what a spai is, it's time you knew the real threat behind these zed-sympathizers: Spai hunters. People who actively hunt down and kill people because they think these people are spaiz are idiots. Sure, it can be helpful to kill a GKer or a death cultist, but killing someone because they ''might'' be giving away survivor positions to zombies is incredibly stupid. Most of the time, it amounts to nothing more than a wasteful witch hunt that keeps survivors from doing anything useful. Don't give in to the fear-mongering of the ignorant.
Always the subject of controversy, [[User:Garviel Loken|Garviel Loken]] heads the [[Imperium|Imperium of Man]], a survivor group grounded in the suburb of Gibsonton based on the Warhammer 40,000 universe. Garviel and the Imperium were propelled into the Malton limelight after being targeted by the Imperium Must Die coalition, the largest coalition of PKers and PKer groups to ever come together in Urban Dead. After suffering defeat at the hands of the IMD coalition, the original Imperium disbanded and Garviel left Malton for unrelated reasons. After returning to UD, Garviel has resurrected the Imperium to stand as a symbol of... something. Since the resurrection of the Imperium, both it and Garviel have become well-known for being targeted by griefers and trolls throughout Malton and its meta-verse. Why? Let's find out.


--'''William Told'''
--'''William Told'''
'''Malton Observer: Can you tell us how you came to exist in Malton?'''
''Garviel Loken: The first Imperial forces in Malton were a group, now defunct, known as the Redemptionists.  These were a devout group of followers of the Imperial Creed who were active just prior to the arrival of the Many for a short period until they were contacted by other Imperial forces and the Imperium was established as a formal presence due to the increasing mutant threat.''
'''MO: How does the definition of "Imperial Freedom" apply to Malton?'''
''GL: The Imperium considers the entire city to be a war zone so long as the mutant infestation remains.  As far as we're concerned, so long as other citizens in this city [do not] worship the Ruinous Powers, work against the Imperium directly, or [work] for any of the mutant hordes, what other citizens do is not our concern and we will provide medical assistance to any in need who are not enemies of the Imperium or Humanity in Malton.''
'''MO: As the new year begins, where do you see the Imperium of Man going as a group?'''
''GL: Perfecting our new organizational approach of having full-time Space Marine and Sisters of Battle strike teams and encouraging regular activity among our more casual personnel in the Imperial Guard and the Adeptus Mechanicus along with improving the Commissariat's efficiency and reputation.  As we grow we will be much more likely to send our Space Marines and Sisters of Battle to theaters of conflict further afield than just the extreme northeast as well as expanding the areas where we hold a more permanent presence as we pick up more people.''
'''MO: Does the Imperium of Man exist in other "realms"?<sup>*</sup>'''
''GL: If Imperial forces are deployed in said sectors I have neither been informed of such deployments nor inquired to the status of said sectors mostly due to the demands of the situation in Malton.''
'''MO: If you had one message to tell our readers, what would that be?'''
''GL: The Imperium stands on the side of Humanity without compromise. We do not wish to lord over anyone or cause unneeded drama.  We are here to fight the real enemy - the hordes that prowl this city - not other citizens.  We will only fight other humans if they attack us first.''
'''MO: There have been allegations that the real Garviel Loken was deposed in a bloodless coup by members of the inquisition and his 2nd in command. How Do you respond?'''
''GL: There was a coup attempt that failed miserably resulting in the Lady Inquisitor, the head of the Inquisition at the time, being arrested [and] stripped of Command status [before] pleading guilty to the charges presented against her.  Shortly after the Inquisitorial Mission was withdrawn from Hive Malton and the Commissariat was empowered to handle its duties in enforcing Imperial Law.''
'''MO: How has the Imperium changed from where it was a year ago, in terms of group dynamics?'''
''GL: A year ago the Imperium was run as a somewhat decentralized confederation that barely registered on the stats page.  It was reformed towards the end of February of 2008 to serve as a more streamlined, highly centralized organization while still preserving the traditional internal autonomy of the various agencies that make up the Imperium.  Participation has always fluctuated, but we have a solid core that has always remained even during the interregnum when the Imperium dissolved at the end of May until August many of the original members came back to the fold when we reformed and have formed the foundation of our organization here, some of whom have been around for quite some time in Urban Dead.  Our common experiences of [[Big Bash 2]], the [[March of the Dead]], [[User:Saromu|Sonny]], the [[Malton Uprising|Uprising]], and now the [[Northeastern Crusade|Crusade]] have created strong bonds among active members through shared experience.''
'''MO: The Imperium Of Man has faced repeated adversity at the hands of Sonny, care to comment on your relationship?'''
''GL: Virtually every member of the Imperium despises Sonny for what he did last May as well as for his repeated, failed attempts to bring us down since then, and new members are quickly brought up to speed on [[Invasion of Gibsonton|what happened]] and [[Imperium Must Die|why]].  As far as we - as a group and as individuals - are concerned, if he disappeared tomorrow none would shed a tear. It is a celebrated occurrence when a member finds and executes one of his alts when they wander into our territory or operation zones.''
'''MO: Do you foresee specific future conflicts ahead for the Imperium?'''
''GL: Once we finish operations in the Northeastern Crusade the Space Marines and Sisters of Battle will likely be on extended deployment in the ghost towns of the NW region of the city, beyond that I cannot say as that depends on what happens in the city relating to the hordes and their movements.  I can say we will not attempt something so foolhardy as to charge into Ridleybank guns blazing. When we go to war outside our territory we aim to fight wars we can win, not create new martyrs.''
'''MO: The Imperium currently claims [[Gibsonton]]. If the Imperium were to gain  additional forces to occupy and annex neighboring suburbs, which would be first on the Imperial agenda?'''
''GL: [[Santlerville]] then possibly [[Dunningwood]] since both are bordering Gibsonton and will make supply, movement, and coordination easier to facilitate.  Santlerville first owing to the [[Dowdney Mall|mall]] there making it both a good supply depot and that malls tend to be targeted by mutants and PKers ensuring we would have no shortage of work there.  From there likely any suburbs in the vicinity of Gibsonton for the same reason.''
'''MO: On the subject of Annexing territory, what would you expect form existing organizations? Would they be required to acknowledge the emperor as supreme? Do you foresee a difficult fight in the event that imperial forces are required to subdue the suburb by force?'''
''GL: We would neither ask nor impose anything on any groups in any areas we annex. When we do so we would be moving in to help those in the area, not to require or expect anything of them.  If any choose to join our forces they are very welcome, if groups wish to ally with us that is encouraged and we seek allies in our territories and neighboring regions, but we do not force people in line with what we do.''
'''MO: You mentioned that where imperial forces are present is not readily available to members of your command. Do you foresee expansion to other sectors in order to augment your supply chains?'''
''GL: If we have sufficient means to do so it may be possible.''
'''MO: The Imperium is rumored to have connections with the Guild of Mercenaries? We've recently become aware of a new mercenary group calling itself the [[Blue Aegis Group]]; what can you tell us about them?'''
''GL: Actually I know nothing of the Blue Aegis Group and none of their members have made contact with us to my knowledge.  We have contract mercenary services from the ZAF in the past through the Guild but that is the furthest extent of our involvement with the Guild.''
'''MO: What kind of capabilities do you foresee Strike Groups possessing?'''
''GL: Uniform implementation of X:00 tactics along with the means and training to operate in hostile territory far from secure lines of supply for extended periods of time.  Said Strike Groups are expected to be able to both work on their own and with the rest of the Imperium as the situation requires but with a high degree of coordination and efficiency.''
'''MO: Imperial Territory is currently limited to Gibsontown, and only Gibsontown. Is that correct or does the Imperium have minor enclaves outside Gibsontown?'''
''GL: In the past we had small enclaves outside of Gibsonton but at this time our only major territorial commitment is in Gibsonton, we may have deployments outside of Gibsonton but no territorial commitments of any size beyond that at this present time.''
'''MO: Thanks a lot for your time, Garviel'''
'''*<sub>[[Monroeville]] and [[Borehamwood]]</sub>
--'''Ferrum Leo'''
== Whatever That Means! ==
''A Q&A column with the Chardon siblings. Got a question? [mailto:askachardon@gmail.com askachardon@gmail.com Drop us a line!]''




[[Category:The Malton Observer]]
[[Category:The Malton Observer]]

Revision as of 21:57, 3 February 2009

Malton Observer: February 3rd, 2009

The Malton Observer would like to thank its sponsors:

  • Sloth - It's our favorite sin!
News at a Glance
Kristi retires!
Tourism in Malton
An unprecedented look at scapegoats in Malton

News at a Glance

  • MO Editor Disappears - I got better.
  • Chaos in Iceland - Has nothing to do with Malton.
  • Holy Crap! - Cineraryone did scare Kristi away!
  • Obama Ends Zombie Plague - Reportedly healed the afflicted by shooting rainbows from his hands.
  • Being a Zombie is Not a Crime - So quit bothering the RG mods!

Kristi of the Dead: A Tribute

I don't claim to know Kristi of the Dead as well as some others might, or perhaps even as well as I should have. However, in the days following her official departure I felt I should make some tribute to her long UD career, and that's the main reason I'm writing this.

Kristi's achievements and qualities are too many to list, but the words "great leader" always come to mind. We didn't always see eye-to-eye in Council, but I knew she always had the DEM's best interests at heart. She was always ready, it seemed, to fiercely defend us from the "mongrel hordes" of General Chat.

More than that she brought numerous intiatives and ideas to Council, and has probably had more effect on the DEM as it is today than any other DEM Chairperson in a seemingly short 23 months in the position. She was even a great Fire Chief, to the point where the position seemed to be cursed after she left, the next three fire chiefs lasting only two months each.

There is much more I could and want to say, but I'm finding that I have to restrain myself from prattling on too much. To summarize, Kristi's departure is a great loss for not only the DEM and the Brainstalkers, (Presumably the latter anyway, I'm not actually a member.) but to the entire community. There were many outside of the groups she was in who knew her, and I'm sure they will, like me, remember her as more than just a name in some ancient wiki archive page.

-Labine50

Mall Tour '09

Yes, the Mall Tour is back for 2009. As many veterans know, the Mall Tour started after the zombies went on strike years ago. After the update that boosted the disenfranchised zombie population's strength, the protestors went on a tour throughout Malton, emptying 18 malls of their occupants. The only mall they assaulted that didn't fall to them was Caiger, which remained undefeated for some time. This was the first time any group had ever toured throughout Malton. The Mall Tour was revived in 2007, again sweeping through Malton's malls, emptying 19 of the 20 malls. Caiger was already in zombie hands when the tour started.

This year, however, is different in that it is the first Mall Tour to take place since zombies have taken to ruining buildings. While this means more work for cleanup crews, the mobility of the Mall Tour means that zombies quickly move on. Fortunately for survivors, no suburbs have been held by the zeds for more than a few days so far.

The Mall Tour has, as of this issue, ruined Woodroffe Mall and will likely spread the destruction to other areas of Tollyton. From there, they will likely move on either to Nichols Mall in Stanbury Village or Blesley Mall in Gulsonside. The DEM encourages all survivors from the surrounding areas to aid in the defense of these malls and the recovery of the suburbs of Roftwood and Tollyton. If you wish to help fight the hordes, check their page to see where they are. While most malls have fallen quickly, some might hold out against the horde with enough coordination and numbers.

--William Told

OMG Zmobie Spai!

Throughout Malton, survivors hear tales of the infamous zombie spy. They are called many things: Zed Sympathizer, Spai, Krampus, Everyone in your Safehouse. The stories of their horrible deeds permeate Urban Dead legends: They murder helpless civilians, they destroy generators, they torture babies with red-hot pokers... but many newcomers might find themselves wondering, "What the hell is a zombie spy, really?" This reporter set out to answer this question, that we might better understand the zmobie spaiz and the idiots who kill them.

A zombie spy is loosely defined as any survivor who works to help zombies. "But Will, how do I know if they're on the zeds' side?" Short answer: You don't. The criteria for what it means to be a spai is different for every person. Some people consider someone to be a spai if they scout behind barricades to locate targets for zombies, but the crimes that have been associated with spaiz are various. The more conservative users of the term only use it to refer to survivors known for GKing and death-culting. Others are less discerning in its application, punishing anyone having too many zombie skills or, as Raharu once aptly put it, "being, on occasion, a zombie." Accusations are also thrown for various other reasons, such as having the word "zombie" in your name or being the wrong place at the wrong time.

Now that you know what a spai is, it's time you knew the real threat behind these zed-sympathizers: Spai hunters. People who actively hunt down and kill people because they think these people are spaiz are idiots. Sure, it can be helpful to kill a GKer or a death cultist, but killing someone because they might be giving away survivor positions to zombies is incredibly stupid. Most of the time, it amounts to nothing more than a wasteful witch hunt that keeps survivors from doing anything useful. Don't give in to the fear-mongering of the ignorant.

--William Told

Retrieved from "http://wiki.urbandead.com//index.php?title=The_Malton_Observer/Current&oldid=1379565"