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Introduction to the B.A.R
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The History of The Burchell Arms Regulars
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A Range of Fine Ales, Bottled Beers, Quiz NIght, Bar Games, Home Cooked Food
A long time ago in a...
Some time ago in Rolt Heights some people decided to band together to protect their beautiful, beautiful pub; a nirvana-esque world of baccarat, dominoes, darts, snooker and pool, fine ales, friendly banter, the occasional bar meal, the even more occasional footy team...
The bloody marauding walking dead who’d decided to come back to life and try and break the mullioned windows and infiltrate the pub garden; well, they were bad enough; the villains who only sought to loot, kill, murder, pillage and bore the living pants off the denizens of the aforementioned pub-valhalla were worse as they could actually choose to not be annoying asshats of the worst stripe.
Anyway, all this being said, there once was a fabled lad named Jim Phil; he took the hopeless chaps and lasses who would tremulously approach the bar of the Burchell Arms with their coins jingling and ask for their required half of mild, pint of vodka, quart of cold, sharp lager and he moulded them into one of the most revered groups in all of Malton.
Their pub-Football team was still shite though.
Time tells us that after no little effort, sleepless nights and a couple of hefty prescriptions trying to nail jam to the wall/ herd cats/ prompt drunkards into some semblance of order that Jim Phil cried himself to sleep one night and handed over control of the Burchell Arms Regulars (for it was them) to Tommy Monahanand Clint Harbringer, And they, in turn, handed over control to more Tommies; well, in actuality just one. But that was enough. Next thing you know a lad called Leotook over in some sort of tax scam; then Mr. Gomez, then Jesus Santeand Tyxand Father O'Keefe...
Christ, that was difficult for all concerned. BAR members left and right were forced to abandon their trousers and give tithes of communion wine, cheap cider and Mad Dog 20/20 to the management team; luckily Ty vanished one night and Father O’K had to take a step back to help heal his screaming liver and Sante was joined by the immensely handsome Rockefella Plaza and the violent mentalist, Dinger (aka Danger Lightfoot). The rest, as they say, is biology.
In the words of Jim Phil (Founder of the BAR):
"The Burchell Arms Regulars are a group of survivors who operate out of the Burchell Arms (imagine that) in Rolt Heights. We're dedicated to the maintenance of the pub and to providing our members with medical services and revivification. Oh, and we're not above retaliation against those who compromise the safety and security of the Burchell Arms, either. Beyond that - we're just regular guys trying to keep the power on and the beer cold.
If you're new to Malton and need a group to watch your back -
If you're a maxed-out veteran looking for a new safehouse -
If you're just passing through Rolt Heights and want to relax -
- the BAR is always open."
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The Pub and Life in Rolt Heights and Pescodside
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Come to Sunny Rolt Heights. We’ve Culture, Sport, History and Great Things To See And Do!
The Burchell Arms Regulars love to have fun, fun, fun. We’re a disparate group of heroes, heroines, purveyors of derring-do, paragons of virtue, we sport stylish leisure wear and have a long and enviable history of amiable friendliness. We even allow tee-totallers into our merry band. One thing we’re really keen on is that new Regulars come and enjoy their time with us; we take that very seriously...
In order to promote our pursuit of happiness, we have an easily accessible forum which we use for discussion, tactics, other varieties of breath-mints, general messing around and a burgeoning online community. We’d really like you to come and visit and forge your way in this new and terrifying online world. Or talk shite. Either or, it’s no biggy.
We’re also keen to protect our home, try and help our friends and any tourists to the general Rolt area and promote our messages of good-will, drunken rambling and a la mode cocktail recipes across the whole of Malton. We also get stuck in when the shizzle hits the fizzle and we’ll maintain tactical resource points, revivication points and all that trash-talking jive like that.
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