The Malton Observer/020309
Malton Observer: February 3rd, 2009
The Malton Observer would like to thank its sponsors:
- Sloth - It's our favorite sin!
| News at a Glance |
| Kristi retires! |
| Tourism in Malton |
| An unprecedented look at scapegoats in Malton |
News at a Glance
- MO Editor Disappears - I got better.
- Chaos in Iceland - Has nothing to do with Malton.
- Holy Crap! - Cineraryone did scare Kristi away!
- Obama Ends Zombie Plague - Reportedly healed the afflicted by shooting rainbows from his hands.
- Being a Zombie is Not a Crime - So quit bothering the RG mods!
Kristi of the Dead: A Tribute
I don't claim to know Kristi of the Dead as well as some others might, or perhaps even as well as I should have. However, in the days following her official departure I felt I should make some tribute to her long UD career, and that's the main reason I'm writing this.
Kristi's achievements and qualities are too many to list, but the words "great leader" always come to mind. We didn't always see eye-to-eye in Council, but I knew she always had the DEM's best interests at heart. She was always ready, it seemed, to fiercely defend us from the "mongrel hordes" of General Chat.
More than that she brought numerous intiatives and ideas to Council, and has probably had more effect on the DEM as it is today than any other DEM Chairperson in a seemingly short 23 months in the position. She was even a great Fire Chief, to the point where the position seemed to be cursed after she left, the next three fire chiefs lasting only two months each.
There is much more I could and want to say, but I'm finding that I have to restrain myself from prattling on too much. To summarize, Kristi's departure is a great loss for not only the DEM and the Brainstalkers, (Presumably the latter anyway, I'm not actually a member.) but to the entire community. There were many outside of the groups she was in who knew her, and I'm sure they will, like me, remember her as more than just a name in some ancient wiki archive page.
-Labine50
Mall Tour '09
Yes, the Mall Tour is back for 2009. As many veterans know, the Mall Tour started after the zombies went on strike years ago. After the update that boosted the disenfranchised zombie population's strength, the protestors went on a tour throughout Malton, emptying 18 malls of their occupants. The only mall they assaulted that didn't fall to them was Caiger, which remained undefeated for some time. This was the first time any group had ever toured throughout Malton. The Mall Tour was revived in 2007, again sweeping through Malton's malls, emptying 19 of the 20 malls. Caiger was already in zombie hands when the tour started.
This year, however, is different in that it is the first Mall Tour to take place since zombies have taken to ruining buildings. While this means more work for cleanup crews, the mobility of the Mall Tour means that zombies quickly move on. Fortunately for survivors, no suburbs have been held by the zeds for more than a few days so far.
The Mall Tour has, as of this issue, ruined Woodroffe Mall and will likely spread the destruction to other areas of Tollyton. From there, they will likely move on either to Nichols Mall in Stanbury Village or Blesley Mall in Gulsonside. The DEM encourages all survivors from the surrounding areas to aid in the defense of these malls and the recovery of the suburbs of Roftwood and Tollyton. If you wish to help fight the hordes, check their page to see where they are. While most malls have fallen quickly, some might hold out against the horde with enough coordination and numbers.
--William Told
OMG Zmobie Spai!
Throughout Malton, survivors hear tales of the infamous zombie spy. They are called many things: Zed Sympathizer, Spai, Krampus, Everyone in your Safehouse. The stories of their horrible deeds permeate Urban Dead legends: They murder helpless civilians, they destroy generators, they torture babies with red-hot pokers... but many newcomers might find themselves wondering, "What the hell is a zombie spy, really?" This reporter set out to answer this question, that we might better understand the zmobie spaiz and the idiots who kill them.
A zombie spy is loosely defined as any survivor who works to help zombies. "But Will, how do I know if they're on the zeds' side?" Short answer: You don't. The criteria for what it means to be a spai is different for every person. Some people consider someone to be a spai if they scout behind barricades to locate targets for zombies, but the crimes that have been associated with spaiz are various. The more conservative users of the term only use it to refer to survivors known for GKing and death-culting. Others are less discerning in its application, punishing anyone having too many zombie skills or, as Raharu once aptly put it, "being, on occasion, a zombie." Accusations are also thrown for various other reasons, such as having the word "zombie" in your name or being the wrong place at the wrong time.
Now that you know what a spai is, it's time you knew the real threat behind these zed-sympathizers: Spai hunters. People who actively hunt down and kill people because they think these people are spaiz are idiots. Sure, it can be helpful to kill a GKer or a death cultist, but killing someone because they might be giving away survivor positions to zombies is incredibly stupid. Most of the time, it amounts to nothing more than a wasteful witch hunt that keeps survivors from doing anything useful. Don't give in to the fear-mongering of the ignorant.
--William Told
