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OverviewHa-Mosad le-Modi'in u-le-Tafkidim Meyuhadim (Hebrew: המוסד למודיעין ולתפקידים מיוחדים, The Institute for Intelligence and Special Operations, often referred to as Mossad, meaning "The Institute"). Specialize in assassination, paramilitary operations, sabotage, sexual harrasment, and psychological warfare. Just plain all around nipple twisting of zombie groups and known zombie sympathizers. | |||||||||||||||||
Current Mission
- 1. Support of The Malton Rangers.
- 2. Greening of Miltown
Policies
Our official position on issues in Malton
Credo
The Institute for Intelligence and Special Operations, otherwise known as 'Mossad' has been appointed by Malton Ranger Command(MRCOM) to collect information, analyze intelligence and perform special covert operations.
Mossad employees are the source of its strength and considerable effort is invested in nurturing them, in developing their capabilities and in fostering esprit de corps. We, the Mossad staff, share the belief that: Service in the Mossad is based on recognition of service to the nation, which we tender through identification with the nation's values, the nation's best interests and the purposes for which the Mossad was created. In the course of our work we pursue justice, honesty, integrity, modesty, personal responsibility, trustworthiness, discipline and discretion. We encourage excellence and goal orientation: initiative, creativity, resourcefulness and courage. We act with determination but are open to criticism.
The Mossad leadership undertakes:
To lead and to motivate, to accept full command responsibility and implement it constructively, to provide support, to lead by personal example, to delegate responsibility and to inspire.
- Only God knows everything, and he works for Mossad.
PKing & Zerging
The Mossad's many endeavors in serving Maltons security interests have earned Mossad a reputation for being extremely effective and deadly as an intelligence agency. Controversy exists over cases where it has employed the tactics of assassination. (See Confirmed Licensed Assassinations). We do not support the use of any zerging tactics, bots, and any and all other forms of cheating. We support and encourage the extermination of these cowards and poor sports.
Contact
You can contact the Mossad in a variety of ways.
Our primary communication is via the Rangers’ Station,a forum we share with our allies.
or leave us a message in the western wall.
Allies
See our forum, and the Malton Rangers wiki.
Mossad Template
Any user or group that wants to show their support on the wiki please enter {{Template:Mossad}}. Thank you for your support.
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המוסד למודיעין ולתפקידים מיוחדים |
| Only God knows everything, and he works for Mossad. |
General World News Updates
Bush: “Democrats Killed Jesus, Invented Disco and Drove Me to Drink” 12/14/06
President Bush opened a new front today in his campaign to blame critics for his failings, attacking Democrats for killing Jesus, inventing disco music and driving him to drink. Bush unleashed the barrage at a Texas Air Force base standing in front of a huge backdrop adorned with a 50-foot image of Ted Kennedy’s head.
“We are only beginning to understand the scale of the Democrats’ depravity and what it has wrought. Recently, the British government learned that Democrats met with Pontius Pilate in Jerusalem before the Crucifixion,” said Bush to the gasps of the crowd.
“We know now that disco pioneer Harry Wayne Casey, founder of KC and The Sunshine Band, was a Democrat. He nearly destroyed the best minds of a generation with that “shake your booty” drek. And I, George W. Bush, spent the first forty years of my life being a slobbering drunk to deaden the pain caused by the Democrats,” added the President, brushing aside a tear.
Back in Washington, the punditry was agog over Bush’s audacious strategy. “The President is turning the personal responsibility thing inside out,” said Professor Larry Sabato, who teaches a course in the obvious at UVA. “He’s trying to kill the messenger and the message at the same time. It’s really quite a dodge.”
Democrats came out swinging after Bush’s speech. In a statement, 2004 opponent John Kerry said, “one need look no further than 1453 and fall of Constantinople, capital of the Byzantine Empire. In many ways the President reminds me of the Ottoman Turks that perpetrated the overthrow and I challenge him to a no-holds-barred, Oxford-style debate to address his scurrilous accusations mano a mano.”
A White House source said Bush got the idea to blame the Democrats for everything from Iraq to the exploding deficit from an episode of “Tom and Jerry” in which the mischievous mouse got the cat evicted from the house by blaming him for his own misdeeds.
“If this little experiment is successful,” said our source, “we’ve got a lot more blame-shifting in the pipeline. We’re planning on blaming the Border Patrol for our lack of a coherent immigration policy, meteorologists for causing hurricanes and, my personal favorite, the Meals on Wheels program for causing the gas shortage.
In other news, Supreme Court Nominee Samuel A. Alito promised Senators that if he’s confirmed he will recuse himself from hearing any cases relating to the prosecution of any president that chose him to be a Justice.
December 18, 2006 "Israel Bombs Anti-Semitism Out Of Lebanon"
After decades of periodic conflict with Lebanon that cost thousands of lives, Israel successfully eradicated all traces of anti-Semitism from its northern neighbor with a series of heavy bombing attacks in July.
"Israel really turned us around on the whole Jew-hating thing," said Hezbollah leader Sheikh Sayyed Hassan Nasrallah, shortly after a U.N.–brokered ceasefire was declared on Aug. 14. "After destroying much of our infrastructure and displacing nearly 1 million civilians, we've come to respect Israel as a legitimate power and a beacon of democracy, and not a pack of lying, usurping, hook-nosed dogs."
The last-ever Israel–Lebanon conflict began on July 12, when Hezbollah militants launched Katyusha missiles into Northern Israel, killed three Israeli soldiers, and kidnapped two others. Despite this initial success, Israel eventually prevailed in ridding the majority-Arab nation of a pervasive prejudice, the roots of which extend to Phoenician times.
Many in the international community were greatly surprised by the development. "We assumed this was just another regional war of attrition, a short-term, semi-effective defensive measure at best, a conflict-feeding 'eye for an eye' tactic at worst," French Foreign Minister Philippe Douste-Blazy said. "But we see that we were being far too cynical. It's basically resolved now."
Strobe Talbott, president of the Brookings Institution, a Washington–based think tank, said that there was "very strong" evidence that not only was a virulent anti-Jewish sentiment completely wiped out in Israel's bombing campaign against Lebanon, but so was any hard-line political opposition to Israel's existence or its annexing of the West Bank, Gaza Strip, and Golan Heights following the Six-Day War in 1967, and general anger over Israel's treatment of Palestinians.
"It's remarkable to think that, had Hezbollah been capable of making surgical pre-emptive strikes against Israeli military installations and densely populated urban centers, Israel would most likely be renouncing Zionism and abandoning the region at this very moment," Talbott said in August.
The bombings have had the most significant impact on Lebanon's youth. Many who saw parents and friends killed in the attacks said they will now spend the rest of their lives supporting Israel.
"I was upset at first when a bomb destroyed my school and killed many of my schoolmates and left me without legs," said Tyre bombing victim Sherifa Ayoub, 14, as she wheeled down her rubble-strewn street. "But as the days went on, and the bombs continued to fall, I began to realize that I had spent my whole young life arbitrarily lashing out at a people I thought I hated, when, all along, what I really hated was myself."
Israel's crushing victory has led Talbott and other Mideast experts to speculate that the nation may go on to bomb the anti-Semitism out of such hostile neighbors as Syria, Saudi Arabia, and Yemen.
Mossad in popular culture
- The House on Garibaldi Street - A 1979 movie starring Topol and Martin Balsam, about the Mossad operation in 1960, whereby the Nazi war criminal Adolf Eichmann was captured and brought to justice in Israel after 15 years in hiding in Argentina.
- The Impossible Spy - A 1987 movie starring John Shea and Eli Wallach (directed by Jim Goddard), about the executed Israeli master spy, Eli Cohen.
- The Man Who Captured Eichmann - A 1996 TV movie starring Robert Duvall and Jeffrey Tambor, that follows the same line as The House on Garibaldi Street.
- Munich - The movie is set after the 1972 Munich massacre and follows a Mossad squad, led by "Avner" (Eric Bana), which is ordered to track down and kill 11 Black September members thought to be responsible for the Israeli athletes' murders.
- Sword of Gideon - The original movie that follows the same line as Munich.
- Les patriotes - A French movie (1994) about Mossad.
- NCIS - Starting with the third season, NCIS added a character Ziva David, who is a Mossad officer attached to NCIS as a liaison officer. Her father is portrayed as the current director (deputy-director in season 3), and her half-brother was a Mossad agent undercover as a Hamas terrorist.
- The Point Men - 2001 movie starring Christopher Lambert.
- Walk on Water - The movie's main character is Eyal, a Mossad agent sent to locate a Nazi war criminal.
- The Little Drummer Girl - 1984 An American actress with a penchant for lying is forceably recruited by Mossad, the Israeli intelligence agency to trap a Palestinian bomber, by pretending to be the girlfriend of his dead brother. - IMDB
- The Constant Gardener - dialogue on spies:
- Tessa Quayle: "I thought you spies knew everything, Tim?"
- Tim Donohue: "Only God knows everything, and he works for Mossad."
- Lucky Number Slevin - The Bodyguards of the character named Fairy are ex-Israeli Mossad
- Spooks (UK TV Series) - Three 2006 episodes featured Mossad operations: first a 2-parter violent Black op takeover of a Saudi trade meeting in the guise of Al Qaeda terrorists (episodes 6 and 7), and an effort to execute members of an imaginary militant Christian organisation in the following episode.
- Triple (Book by Ken Follet) - The main character, Nat Dickstein, works for the Mossad performing a mission with the purpose of stealing 100 tons of uranium into Israel.
Conspiracy theories
Like other intelligence agencies, the Mossad has frequently been the subject of unsubstantiated conspiracy theories. This has included purported involvement in the John F. Kennedy assassination,<ref>"Mossad And The JFK Assassination", john-f-kennedy.net. Retrieved October 28, 2006.</ref> the death of Princess Diana,<ref>"Will Mossad finally hand over its secret files on Diana's death?", Canada Free Press, September 21, 2006. Retrieved October 28, 2006.</ref> the assassination of Elie Hobeika,<ref>"Sharon witness blown up in Beirut", The Guardian, January 25, 2002. Retrieved November 16, 2006.</ref> and more recently the September 11th attacks<ref>"Mossad - The Israeli Connection To 911", American Free Press, April 14, 2005. Retrieved October 28, 2006.</ref> and the assassination of Rafik Hariri.
A commonly circulated internet myth incorrectly attributes the motto; "By way of deception, thou shalt do war", to the mossad
Sexual Harrison has been thought to have kicked his leader Dickhole Guy in the Nuts over one hunderd and twenty times during the 2nd Battle of Blackmore. but that was before he was under ranger command. Since joining the rangers he has casually kicked dickholeguy in the nuts, close to a trillon times.
Confirmed Licensed Assassinations
Booyakasha!
KILL ON SITE!
- Paige Marshall - http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=167828--SexualharrisonMalton Rangers 17:48, 5 January 2007 (UTC)
- EatinFolk - http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=161476--SexualharrisonMalton Rangers 17:48, 5 January 2007 (UTC)
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