Malton Rangers

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Malton Rangers
Abbreviation: Malton Rangers
Group Numbers: 40 something
Leadership: Decentralized
Goals: To provide a valuable contribution to Malton citizens by conducting covert operations against the undead.
Recruitment Policy: Our Recruitment Campaign 2013 has begun!! Visit the Recruitment Wiki for all the information you might need to join the Rangers. All recruits are welcome but gaining a few levels is recommended, however it is not required, just register an account at the forumto enlist.
Contact: Look for board users with a Malton Rangers signature, or Check out our forum.

This is our general page – it’s for posting all of the official data for the group as well as any updates to our status. The Malton Rangers are always looking for talented new recruits, so any survivors interested in joining us may feel free to leave us a message over on the Malton Ranger/C4NT forum. Or take the Recruitment Quiz.

Current Mission

Today Slightly older, but no more sober, The Rangers are still bringing the fight. Wherever there is injustice, you will find them. Wherever survivors are threatened, they'll be there. Wherever there is the opposite sex of a questionable age and loose moral judgement, easily plied with whose cups runneth over? You will find The Malton Rangers! -- Det Briscoe 6 November 2013

14 November 2010 The Rangers rode in to Shearbank because Gulsonside was tapped. We heard tell of a giant beer keg in Stickling Mall, so a bunch of Rangers, including a few oldies who had returned, swamped into the 'bank and found a rather quiet burb. The Mall was a mess, but fairly empty, so we quickly established barricades, then simultaneously barricaded the surrounding blocks while installing generators and lighting that place up like Christmas with the Kranks. A few zambah incursions were quickly quelled with a lot of help from local resistance. We're now pulling out of Shearbank, leaving it a safer, friendlier place. In the vacuum we leave will be the warm bodies of Shearbank locals. Stay strong Shearbankers. The quest for beer and snacks continues. --Rip purr 06:19, 14 November 2010 (UTC)

ZOMG Recruitment - JOIN TODAY!

MR Poster1.jpg

| Well, now we've gone and done it. Our Recruitment Campaign of 2013 has begun.

  • Read why the Malton Rangers are for you
  • Take the recruitment quiz and find out if you have what it takes to be a Ranger
  • Read the testimonials of those that are Rangers or have worked with Rangers and
  • much, much...not so much...more!!

Don't hesitate. There is no deadline or anything, hesitating just makes you a procrastinator and we kinda like that in a recruit. Check it out now!!

Ranger Profiles!

Remember guys to show up on the Game Stats page your profile must say Malton Rangers and yes the capitals are important. Oh, having The in front will also mean you wont show up no matter how many zombies you kill with us.



This is how nomadic the Rangers are. We don't even own cars.

The Malton Rangers are a growing group of like-minded individuals, dedicated to working with other groups and unaffiliated survivors to the benefit of Malton. A principally nomadic group, by nature, the Rangers aim to go wherever help is needed most and have begun to establish a reputation for being easy to work with and being willing to provide aid to places most others have already fled from.

While the bulk of Rangers usually can be found traveling together and working towards some larger objective (see below for present objectives), individual Rangers or smaller detachments often break off temporarily to help out the many smaller crises to be found in Malton.

While most Rangers do work very closely to coordinate their efforts with command and their fellow Rangers, no orders are ever binding or mandatory and the right of each Ranger to act and make decisions autonomously will always be respected.

Field Reports

15th October 2010

Having made a mockery of the dead in Chancelwood we have decamped down to Gulonside in search of suntans and decent bagels. In order to do this we'll have to liberate Blesely Mall from the stinking hobos that have made it their home.

Shouldn't be a problem.

Received 26/12/08

Christmas report submitted by Ranger Noah Kling.

It was with sad hearts and joyous memories that I left the Mounter Arms and once again entered the streets of tortured Malton. Mr. Manapua, the generous bartender, made us all feel so welcome with copious amounts of spirit and spirits. The bar room rung with our drunken caroling, for some reason all the words were skewed into pro-Ranger verses.

Someone even painted a picture of Wulfgar wearing nothing but a Santa hat and a smile, with certain naughty bits covered by a European painting. Could have been the eggnog I pilfered from Dowdney Mall and (generously) spiked with old Granny Kling’s home-brew white lightning. Sadly Det Briscoe grabbed a “special” drink that someone spiked with Viagra and, well, let’s just say he thought that the mistletoe was for more than kissing.

Christmas morning was wonderful as presents were passed around the Kahala Lounge. Sadly, some PKers decided to pass some presents out too, although their presents were traveling a tad bit faster, a few hundred miles per hour faster… But the needles were generous and no matter how many came at us we got our own back up in a jiffy. After a few firefights between myself and the Scrooge-brigade, I had to leave a tad bit early with empty pistols and a full heart. It was the best Malton Christmas a Ranger could have hoped for.

Received 9/12/08

Lost report on Ridleybank recently uncovered by Ranger Noah Kling.

I have walked the hallowed halls of Blackmore, and I have read its story upon the rotting and bullet speckled walls. The air was thick with high and ancient hopes and forgotten laughter, a laughter lost so long ago when the doors burst open for the last time and those brave men and women of the Blackmore Bastard Brigade gave a final stand against that surging zombie horde from hell. I could sense the glory those long gone heroes fell for, and I felt their dream in that infested pit of walking corpses, even after such long years.

It is a dream that still clings in the souls of Malton. It clings in my soul, the souls of my fellow Rangers, in the soul of every man and woman who dreams of a better future. The dream of a free Malton, where one can fall asleep at night in an unsecured home and know that the eyes that open in the morning will still have life behind them. This was the dream those who had gone before me had laid down their lives for, and this is the dream for which we still fight. And we made those heroes of lore proud.

Once again the halls rung with the sound of laughter and gunfire, and the aisle ways between labs and cubicles flowed with black blood. From the sub basement in which memories crouched in black corners to the roof from which a battered pennant still waved, we fought once more, we fought them with all the might that the sacred bloodline passed down to us from the original Bastards conveyed. And we made the undead remember. We made them remember that here, in the lion’s den, the darkest hellhole of evil upon the blackened city, they were not safe. And the thunder of our guns rolled out into the streets, echoed amongst the dark, cement canyons of the city, and it said, like booming bells from a divine church, “Life.” Yes, the thunder of our weapons cried “Life, Life. It has returned to Ridleybank, Life.”

And so they fell before us. We celebrated with open kegs and unsheathed blades. With laughter we left, our mission accomplished. Blackmore wasn’t ours, no, it would take more than us. But we had reminded those undead blights upon this once beautiful city that there still remained people who could stand and fight against the hordes, and we reminded them that a day would come that we would return with more men behind us, with all of free Malton behind us! And the ‘Bank would be ours! One day, the ‘Bank would be ours…

Received 4/12/08

The Great Revival in Penny Heights submitted by Ranger 2win.

If lack of disaster is the standard for revival meetings then ...yes..lordy... yes...we were Slain in The Spirit of Odin and Speaking in tongues.

The flailing of the hordes brought down the NT's and Malls several times with the Rangers bringing the dead back to life. Can I get a hallelujah?!

I was amazed at how eerily quiet it was as we shuffled out to save ALL Malton with our new found fervor and a few bottles of scotch.

It was such fun, I'm just gonna hit reset and start over.

Received 11/11/08

Report on Ricketybank submitted by Ranger 2win.

The much hyped day of November 5th arrived. Well, Wulfgar was busy trying to get himself bitten and Techewan was delayed. But Marcel Swann stepped up and filled in for them as the Showman.

With 39 zombies inside Blackmore everyone was ready to party after a week of milling around Barrville. It started off with a great Ranger turnout and body parts went flying everywhere. When the smoke cleared there were 25 zombies left and a couple of Rangers passed out from exhaustion. Not a lot of zombie movement. I'm telling you it was like a nursing home for old zombies, they were stacked in like cord wood and about as active.

We had a couple of other halfhearted tries for a couple of days, but I felt more like healing the old things than fighting them. Tinyshopkeeper resorted to standing in a lightly caded lit hospital and Gregorseverov stood outside just to see some action. Marcel finally just said goodbye and we left the zombie retirement community of Ricketybank with their memories.

Received 10/11/08

Report on Ridleybank submitted by Ranger Lord Wulfgar.

It's been over two years since I first walked the barren streets of Ridleybank, two years since those brave men and women of the Blackmore Bastard Brigade fell to the encroaching zombie hordes after months of blood soaked battle.

Some would call me crazy for leading my team into the black heart of Ridleybank on what to most would seem like a futile mission, and perhaps I am. But no crazier then my team who stumbled into that black heart with a carefree laugh and a bottle of fine beer determined to do the old memories proud.

When we arrived in Ridleybank we found it already sparsely populated with survivors gathering for the 5th of November assault. Most buildings were still in ruin but they had a few hospitals up and things seemed to be improving. So we hunkered down and readied ourselves for the coming fight, and what a fight it was.

On that faithful day the Malton Rangers charged the Blackmore Building shouting their denial to the zombie horde massed inside. It was a brutal battle as the sounds of gunfire and groans filled the air around Blackmore. Marcel cleaved the head off of one zombie in a single stroke singing all the while and 2win took down another with nothing but a empty beer bottle, the battle raged on and on with no apparent end in sight. A classy reporter even made an appearance bravely risking his hair to stomp out the zombie menace. And so it continued with taunts flowing freely from the lips of the Malton Rangers as they valiantly drove the zombies before them.

In the end fourteen undead fell at the hands of the Malton Rangers and we retreated to the surrounding buildings to drink to our accomplishment. It was a happy night filled with drinking (thanks to an old NMC stash of scotch recently uncovered) and raucous laughter. Noah even got up the courage to sing a song after a few drinks. We were in high spirits and thought that the Blackmore would soon be ours, but it was not to be.

The next day we found the numbers in Blackmore higher then ever with over forty undead swaying inside her ruined halls, it seemed that the RRF horde wasn't going to relinquish Blackmore easily. Undeterred we continued to hammer away at the rotting corpses over the next few days, each battle made us weaker and the zombies only seemed to get stronger with the local area falling back into its previous state of ruin. I realized that we couldn't win this battle, our undead foes were too determined and numerous, and so I made the decision to pull our team out.

That night I sat on the roof of Acourt Library with a bottle of scotch and toasted the Blackmore and all the brave men and women past who fought on those broken, blood strewn grounds. We had been beaten back by the horde as we knew was inevitable from the start but we had payed tribute to a time past. A glorious time that will likely never be seen again.

Received 27/10/08

Report submitted by Ranger 2win.

It's good to be back after my sekrit mission. I don't know what it was, but if I did, I would probably have to kill ya. It was so boring. When the call to arms came for Havercroft I dropped everything, including the zombie next to me, and ran.

Wulfgar happened to let slip the fact the C4NT might have some scotch stored in Beaver Towers, so... guess where I headed first. Wolface came in and threw up some cades while I was digging around for that fabled cache.

I awoke the morn of the strike on Ackland Mall with doors open and 2 zombies inside Maria General. Not gonna get big points for the style, but nevertheless I got one and bumped the cades. Strolled in late for the Mall party. The Rangers had already started and were in full swing when I arrived, no doubt spurred on by the C4NT scotch. They had stormed the mall, kicked out the zombies, turned on the party lights and had bouncers at the door when I arrived. I'm telling ya, it was gonzo over the top crazy. For details just ask Techewan, Wulfgar, Noah, Skidoo or Biffen. Seems Marcel was there early to set up the bar.

Received 17/10/08

Report submitted by Ranger Magatsu Taito.

Arrived in Yagoton. Things looked as chaotic as expected. The mall was on its last legs with Rangers, zombies, survivors and the occasional Cobra PKer dropping by to shoot someone. I arrived fashionably dressed in a black body bag. Ended up on a heap of dead bodies at the cemetery, before getting a quick revive and a "Welcome to Yagoton!" from a fellow Ranger. Can't for the life of me remember who, though that was several days and bottles ago by now. The constant dying and revives turns your brain into soft French cheese as well, which doesn't exactly help when you're trying to do complicated things like walk, open doors, remember names for ordinary household appliances... You get the picture.

I lurched over to the local hospital in hopes of curing a nasty infection I had contracted on the way there. How I got it is a bit unclear, and considering its nature it may be best not to know either. But I managed to cure it. It took a few hours though, and I got eaten once more during that time. I ended up getting revived mere seconds after arriving at the cemetery the second time, threw a "Thanks!" at the guy, checked out the battle at the nearby NT, and went and cured this brand new infection I'd gotten while being eaten. I seem to have a weak immune system for some reason... Anyway, after having gotten another First Aid Kit I ran over to the NT again, shouted "GOR ANGERS! RRRAAHHHHH!!!!" and promptly feel asleep.

Received 7/10/08

Report submitted by Ranger 2win.

Well folks, it's gonna be an incomplete Ranger report cause not every thing is in just yet on the fighting in Dunell Hills and we had a sudden move out to Yagoton via Caiger. We have a few Rangers that might not be able to keep up the pace. *staring and judging* Wulfgar is getting mighty sensitive about his hat. Just don't ask. All I can say is, there can be few more fitting marriages than that between blind, drunk, courage and the ego of a fighting Ranger.

Received 6/10/08

Report submitted by Malton Ranger Rambling Drunk Magatsu Taito.

"It was another one of those days. Cold and wet, with a massive hangover hovering above you like a cartoon weight marked "1 ton". I had awoken, as on so many days before that one, from the sound of silence around me. Not a good sound if you're a Ranger. It means you've managed to get separated from the others, wandered off on your own, or were just too drunk to notice when everyone left.

I got to my feet.

The weight dropped and drove my brain into my left butt cheek, sending me staggering around the room like one of those undead monstrosities prone to biting me in the forehead. (I'm starting to suspect they don't like the taste of my hair...)

After wrecking a chair, a table, a slightly unstable wall, and what was left of the stairs, I came to once more on the bottom floor. That's when I realized I must have been upstairs when I awoke. Good thing I didn't just jump out the window like I usually do in those situations.

I managed to get back up, drink what was left of an old beer and grab my stuff. I hesitated though... What now? I walked over to the window, looked out. Not much in sight, a zombie seemed to be passing the window, but it was literally still as the grave otherwise.

I decided to head downstairs, but then I realized there weren't any, and when the zombie started trashing a dumpster my mind started stabbing my face from the inside, and I jumped out the window. Sure, not the smartest move in retrospect, but hey, I killed a zombie by throwing myself at it from the second floor. While horribly hungover. And the air rushing past me made my head clear a bit. Well, at least until I banged it on the dumpster while turning the zombie into chunky soup that is... Anyhow, I staggered to my feat once more. This time covered in garbage, pieces of zombie, and the remaining rags that were once clothes.

I wandered around for a while, until noticing a trail of graffiti, confused undead, old beer cans and bottles of varying toxicity. It looked promising, so I started following it. It would either lead me to the rest of the Rangers, or certain death. Probably both, but if there's anything to drink before, after or during, I didn't mind. I'd have to watch out for something dressing me up in bear suit, putting a lampshade on my head, or anything like that, but as long as I get that first beer I knew I was gonna make it. One way or another, I was gonna make it. Even if I had to start my own brewery, dammit!"

Received 26/9/08

Report on Owsleybank/Dunell Hills by Ranger 2win.

It took a lot of booze driven, blind, brash, bravery to repair and hold some of the massive destruction we encountered here, but we had several dedicated Rangers who dove in Leroy Jenkins style to give it their all. Also we had invitations for 3 or 4 strikes with open-ended options to the DHPD. Our new executive officer Techewan led some of the highly successful raids. Our leader, Wulfgar, was delayed at the first one due to an unforeseen *cough* PKing. Yet, despite his misfortune he comes in with good cheer whistling 'The Hills Are Alive!'.

Most of the later epic fighting/partying with the DHPD centered in and around the Dury NT. It changed hands about once a day it seemed. Great party to welcome some of our very capable new members. The keg flowed freely as Danr, our hot-blooded Ranger, unleashed her therapeutic fury on The Dead.

All in all, I'm chalking this one up as a win.

For past Field Reports see the Field Reports Archive.


Our official position on issues in Malton

Independent Initiative

Unless otherwise stated, positions on many of the more contentious issues to be found in Malton are left up to the individual Ranger to decide upon, and enforce as he or she sees fit. That being said, we encourage rangers to work in group fashion, as we are most effective that way.

PKing, Griefing and the Like

As the Rangers exist to aid the residents of Malton, we are opposed to and don't engage in all such counterproductive behaviours. It is the discretion of individual Rangers as to how to react to the actions of non-Rangers.

Multiple Characters

Several members of our organization run multiple characters, and we have absolutely no issue with that. Players may even have multiple characters who are Rangers. That being said, the Rangers will maintain strict adherence to Anti-Zerging rules and won't run multiple character in the same suburb.
(Since there are always people in need of help everywhere in Malton, the alternate character Rangers won't be suffering for lack of work, and may even go so far as to form auxiliary units of the Rangers.)

Lone Wolfing

There come times when individual Rangers may feel like aiding elsewhere than the primary focus of the larger unit. This is both permitted and encouraged by (MRCOM). All of Malton needs our help, and the better job we do of spreading the word, the stronger we'll become. Rangers Lead the Way!

The Who and Where


You can contact the Malton Rangers in a variety of ways.
Our primary communication point is the Rangers’ Station, on a forum we share with our allies.

We want all our enemies, allies and possible friends to come onto this board. The more the merrier!


Channel 4 News Team--Classy group of guys, we have been fighting along side them for a long time
New Malton Colossus--Member thereof, and second largest represented group therein
Army Control Corps--We've been kicking ass all over Malton with these guys
U.S. ARMY INFANTRY-- Aided us in various operations, We owe you one.
DHPD--Commissioner O'Neil and Dickhole Bonaparte are always in cahoots'
Skynet Defense Network -- Brains to our fun-loving, bullrush-in brawn

Our Template

We have a spanking new template, which anyone can feel free to use.

Rangerlogouu4.jpg Malton Rangers
This User or group supports the Malton Rangers in their never ending quest to aide the fair citizens of Malton, pursue classiness to the utmost, and stop barhah in all areas it rears its ugly head

Any user or group that wants to use this on their wiki just put {{Malton Rangers}} on their page.


General News Updates

11 February 2009 After a hard fought battle in Havercroft and a brief respite the Rangers have linked up with their old allies in the DHPD, drop in on the forum for more news.

5 December 2008 After wandering the blood soaked streets of Southeast Malton the Rangers are off to rejoin their NMC family for glorious battle. More details to be found at our forum.

10 November 2008 The Ranger's have recently concluded their celebrations in the heart of Ridleybank and are now preparing for their next operation. Drop by the forums for details.

27 October 2008 After spilling more blood on the northern front of Malton the Rangers have headed out for the bloody battle field that is Havercroft. Check the forums for more information.

6 October 2008 After weeks of hardy battling the Malton Rangers are leaving West Malton for the blood strewn fields of the north. Drop by the forums for further details.

19 September 2008 Wonderful progress has been made by the Malton Rangers in their efforts to restore SW and West Malton. Operations still continue, drop by the forum for details.

22 August 2008 The campaign for the restoration of Southwest Malton and beyond has begun, progress is already being made. Stop by the forum for details.

7 August 2008 After the long weeks of battle in Central Malton the Rangers are now moving on, interested parties should drop by the forum for details.

17 July 2008 The battle in Central Malton still rages as the Rangers challenge roving undead hordes. Progress is being made, all Rangers should drop by the forum for details.

25 June 2008 Operations in Western Malton are completed. After brief rest and restocking period Rangers are on new mission. View the forum for more details on our current mission.

4 June 2008 With their operations in North Malton concluding in glorious success the Rangers have moved on to the far west. All Rangers should drop by the forums for details.

8 May 2008 Efforts to restore North Malton have met with great success and operations in the area still continue. All Rangers check the forums for details.

15 April 2008 Operations to restore ruined sections of North Malton are now underway. All Rangers should see forums for details.

27 March 2008 A new mission to revitalize dead sections of Malton has begun, all Rangers please refer to the forums for details.

19 March 2008 Zombie numbers continue to rise and the Malton Rangers continue to have a blast. The current battle is in Central Malton. All Rangers check the forums for orders.

10 March 2008 With zombie numbers on the rise the Malton Rangers are having the time of their lives, the battle is currently in the east. All Rangers should check the forums for orders.

16 February 2008 With a beautiful wedding now behind them the Malton Rangers are heading out for more glorious battle. All Rangers should check the forums for new orders.

3 February 2008 The battle against the Second Big Bash has concluded with many a brave Ranger dying in battle, couldn't ask for more. The Rangers are now regrouping, all Rangers should check the forum for details.

8 January 2008 The battle against the Second Big Bash continues. This time the battle is at the Morrish Building, all Rangers should head their immediately.

2 January 2008 Furious battle rages in Pitneybank against the Second Big Bash. All Malton Rangers should head to the Farmer Building immediately.

Ranger Creed

Recognizing that I volunteered as a Ranger, fully knowing the hazards of my chosen profession, I will always endeavor to uphold the prestige, honor, and high esprit de corps of my Ranger Regiment.
Acknowledging the fact that a Ranger is a more elite soldier who arrives at the cutting edge of battle by land, sea, or air, I accept the fact that as a Ranger my country expects me to move farther, faster and fight harder than any other soldier.
Never shall I fail my comrades. I will always keep myself mentally alert, physically strong and morally straight and I will shoulder more than my share of the task whatever it may be, one-hundred-percent and then some.
Gallantly will I show the world that I am a specially selected and well-trained soldier. My courtesy to superior officers, neatness of dress and care of equipment shall set the example for others to follow.
Energetically will I meet the enemies of my country. I shall defeat them on the field of battle for I am better trained and will fight with all my might. Surrender is not a Ranger word. I will never leave a fallen comrade to fall into the hands of the enemy and under no circumstances will I ever embarrass my country.
Readily will I display the intestinal fortitude required to fight on to the Ranger objective and complete the mission though I be the lone survivor.

Rangers Lead The Way!

Malton Rangers: Archive

OMG Look at the shiney ribbons

Sgpicon1.gif Sacred Ground Policy Supporter
This user or group supports the Sacred Ground Policy and acknowledges that all Cemeteries in the city of Malton are considered Revivification Points.

Trident.jpg Channel 4 News Team Affiliate
This user or group entered Glorious Battle beside the Channel 4 News Team. There were horses and a man on fire and this user or group killed a guy with a trident. Afterward, we could barely lift our arms because we killed so many zombies. I don't know if you heard us counting. We killed over 1,000.

Mossad.jpg המוסד למודיעין ולתפקידים מיוחדים
Only God knows everything, and he works for Mossad.

TMMtemp.jpg The Malton Mafia
This User or Group is respected by The Malton Mafia.
They have the support of the Families.
Don't cross them.

Blackmorebastard.JPG Sexy Blackmore Bastard
This user fought in the 2nd Battle of Blackmore and proudly wears this home made badge on his knee. where he kicked the ever famous dickholeguy in the nuts.. TWICE!

Rhodes2.JPG A Colossus Of Class
This user or group is part of the New Malton Colossus.
Bringing Glorious Battle to you since 2006.

Napoleon-1.jpg Dickhole The Great
This user or group has entered glorious battle alongside Dickhole The Great (pictured at the left), there were horses, sabres, and muskets all around. After the Battle was over, This user or group stampeded the enemies women and raped their cattle. It was a glorious day indeed.

Literate.jpg Literate
This user/group has fought alongside, provided syringes for, or returned a library book to the Quartly Study Group

Napoleon Dynamite 1206 Dickhole The Stupid
This user or group has entered glorious battle alongside Dickhole The Stupid (pictured at the far left), and was killed because of his stupidity. After the Battle was over, This user or group kicked Dickhole The Stupid in the nuts. Than watched as a very small zombie nerd beat him to death with his own tiny nut sack.

The v.jpg Remember, Remember the 5th of November
This user or group supports the vendetta against the villainous undead in Ridleybank. On the 5th of November, we will march on the choked heart of Malton and liberate it anew. Victory will be ours, and with it, vengeance!


Grippy / Vito area can be found [here]