The Cleaning Crew
| The Cleaning Crew | |
| |
| Abbreviation: | TCC |
| Group Numbers: | A small cadre of elite cleaners. |
| Leadership: | Father Doyle |
| Goals: | Have fun keeping the city clean from harman mess! |
| Recruitment Policy: | Contact us! |
| Contact: | Use our talk page or our Discord chat. |
About Us
Malton is in the clutches of a new enemy- pollution. Simply put, it is imperative that we fight the Machine Lords whenever possible. These whirring mechanical fiends emit great amounts of noise, light and air pollution. Worse, we have word that the foul Machine Lords have enthralled survivors to become dependent on them. Even to the point of defending the machines with their lives. Most upsetting. There is only way to root out the menace- Death to the Machine Lords and their slaves!
There are other problems in this city as well. Trenchies litter the streets with discarded loot and their own corpses. Mrh Cows cause flagrant noise pollution, further disturbing the peace and sanctity of the city. Barricades make our streets and homes cluttered and ugly. For this, we propose that the all the filth be removed from this city. By force if necessary.
To specially combat these problems, the Cleaning Crew was founded in late 2017 in order to bring Clean to a city that desperately needed it. By removing both unsightly pollution and the unsightly polluters who cause it, we can ensure a better Malton. Lately, the Cleaning Crew has found its divine calling in the fair suburb of Whittensdie, keeping the Fort nice and tidy. Free of humans and their littering. It's a win-win for both Clean and the city!
Come on down to Fort Feral and get yourself a piece of the Clean!
What We Do
Low prices on all cleaning services!
Current Price List:
| Building | Brain Cost | Seniors/Babahz Discount |
|---|---|---|
| Necrotech Buildings | 10 | 20% |
| Police Departments | 5 | 20% |
| Hospitals | 5 | 20% |
| Forts | 15 | 15% |
Making buildings fit for zombie occupation is also a service that is provided.
Origins: Operation Bar Hah Down (2017)
December 2017- A siege on Fort Creedy that trashed the place within 72 hours, despite the best efforts of Creedy Defense Force and a bunch of other people. A bunch of Cleaning Crew special forces broke into the fort and were surrounded by hundreds of armed terrorists, a la The Battle of Mogadishu.
Some information has been redacted to protect the identities and families of our brave servicemen.
Day 1 of Bar Hah Down
█ █ 00 Today was the big assault. The Cleaning Crew arose from our ambush point outside of Fort Creedy. Scaling the walls of the gatehouse, we fought our way past at least one hundred terrorist scum. Minimal resistance on our way in with a small number of enemy casualties, Gen. Bereavement’s tactics were spot on. Infections kicked in soon after, increasing our physical abilities as predicted, we knocked over the armory and cleared it of hostiles. 12 of us made it through, and properly established lines of sight and cover in the armory, preventing the enemy from locking us in. Sgt. Zombon was delayed, he fought valiantly and made it through to our position alone, bringing our numbers to 13. His immunity to enemy poisons will no doubt come in handy during our big siege.
█ █ 00 No hostile movement or response yet. Supplies are still high, morale is excellent. The terrorists in the gatehouse outside are still mobilizing, the speed of our assault must have them completely off balance.
2145 First besieger, by the name of Mike Cronis, charges in, is quickly decimated by our defenses. Gen. Bereavement personally takes the captured terrorist outdoors for summary execution as an example to the others. Mr. Cronis’ brainz are quickly converted into field rations, he certainly wasn’t using them.
2200 Known terror group Creedy Defense Force publicly announces knowledge of our presence. It is currently of minimal concern, Gen. Bereavement estimates an enemy response time of minimum █ █ hours. Our team is gathering strength for a sally-forth raid on the terrorist-held gatehouse tomorrow at █ █ 00. Hundreds of the terrorists mill outside, their stolen fortress turned against them by its rightful owners, they are now sandwiched between local barhah enforcement and The Cleaning Crew. If they aren’t worried now, they should be.
2300 Terrorist siegers are now bringing Machine Lords to illuminate our defensive positions while they fire at us. The Cleaning Crew’s master sharpshooters do us proud by destroying the machines mere minutes after entry. Minor injuries sustained by Cpl. Duke █ █ █ █ █ █
-Col. “Fire Loving” Chigan Sanders.
Day 2 of Bar Hah Down
0900 Wake up to find another of the enemies’ pathetic attempts at a raid, gone astray as expected. Again, minor casualties, no real damage done, suppressing fire was effective at neutralizing another Machine Lord. Cpl. Duke █ █ █ █ managed to recover from his injuries.
1500 First significant hostile assault. Hired murderers Tom Requiem and Nina Ducks, flanked by goosestepping CDF sturmtruppen, burst in with their Machine Lord puppeteers close behind. However, skilled recon by █ █ █ █ █ █ gave us full warning of this attack. The battle was over in minutes, as we dispatched the Machine Lords with haste, allowing us to make full use of the battlefields’ cover. Minor casualties from the CDF terrorists despite a great deal of effort, with the CDF terror leader known as “Spider” successfully pinned down under cover. He’ll likely escape soon, but it’s a poor showing from the one group who could do anything at all to oppose us.
█ █ 00 Sensing weakness among the terrorist ranks following the failed assault, The Cleaning Crew launched a counter attack. Col. “Fire Loving” Chigan, Cpt. █ █ █ █ █ █ , Cpt. █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ , Father █ █ █ █ █ , Col. █ █ █ █ █ █ and Gen. Bereavement launched a quick sortie that killed known zerger Roy Duncan, CDF militant DJSmith, and several Machine Lords, among others. No signs of recovery from the recent Machine Lord attacks, perhaps the locals are finally overthrowing the Machine Lords’ brainwashing that forces them to install and power the Machine Lords? One can hope, but what is certain was that Barhah was achieved for today.
1900- Two locals named Hue Jackson and “the great wall” have arrived to reinforce our numbers, at least temporarily. Another, more certain set of reinforcements, Cpt. █ █ █ █ █ and Sgt. █ █ █ █ █ █ █ , arrived under cover of darkness and were swiftly brought into the fold of operations. Allied forces number fifteen now, the cause of freedom for the people of Pitneybank gets closer every day.
2000- Gen. Bereavement picks up a distress cry on enemy comms: 26.70 MHz: "Everyone is needed at Fort Creedy Immediately" 26.70 MHz: "Creedy is under attack. 16 outside. 15 in armory. SOS" 26.70 MHz: "Help". They know what we are capable of. And they’re afraid. That makes things much easier for us.
Day 3 of Bar Hah Down
0800 Wake up to find all is quiet in the armory. A general lack of action. The terrorists largely seem to be uninterested in dislodging us. Many yell thoughtless remarks at us, ultimately to no more effect than their physical attacks.
█ █ 30 In the absence of a possible CDF suicide bombing, The Cleaning Crew takes it upon themselves to bring the death directly to the CDF. When Terrorist Leader “Spider” finally escapes our custody, a pursuing The Cleaning Crew team swiftly mows him down before he can reach safety. Gen. Bereavement orders us to press the attack and we apprehend multiple members of the CDF and their accomplices, pre-empting another CDF strike. Despite thinning the herd, terrorists still hold strong in the gatehouse, but their supplies are dwindling. More and more local freedom fighters punch through the terrorist blockade to join our cause, our squad swells up to nineteen.
1700- The Fortress is still good for jack shit, as always. Not even remotely any sign of them. They must have fled for their lives after our initial attack.
1900- Numbers have reached twenty. No terrorist movement whatsoever. The Cleaning Crew’s resolve is as strong as ever. Can the insurgents say the same?
Day 4 of Bar Hah Down
0730- Gen. Bereavement, Col. █ █ █ █ █ and Col. Fire Loving assaulted and cleared the infirmary. Gatehouse is currently open, local barhah enforcement is exchanging fire with the gatehouse terrorists and pushing them back. Hunter Building just outside the fort has been staked out by local allies. Regular infections are running across the terrorist ranks now. Not looking pretty for the insurgents.
1200- Six of us inside the gatehouse now. Local trenchcoaters down to ten, many injured.
1230- The tide on our side now, The Cleaning Crew emerges from cover to bring down the gatehouse.
1330- Gatehouse finally falls as we continue our offensive and sweep through the terrorist ranks, sparing none. BARHAH! The fortress has fallen within 72 hours of our first infiltration, all that remains is to break open the internal structures, suppress the fleeing terror cells and clean up the surrounding area of their filth. As a bonus, the Scourge Armed Forces are striking at Giddings this very moment, Pitneybank’s liberation is secured!
Caroling
We also do festive singing for the holiday season!
It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Barhah
It’s beginning to look like barhah! eeeverywhere you goooo. Take a look in the mall and then, glistening once again, with harman brains and infection strains aglow.
It’s beginning to look a lot like barhah! Braaaainz in eeeeevery store!
But the prettiest sight to see is the harmans that will be,
dragged out your front door.
A pair of shotgun shell loots and a pistol that shoots
is the wish of Trenchies and Men.
Radio talk and needles in stock
is the hope of Nts and THEM.
But no harmanz can get revived and stand again!
It’s beginning to look like barhah! eeeverywhere you goooo.
There’s cades in the Grand Hotel, some in the fort as well
The flimsy kind that will quickly start to go!
It’s beginning to look like barhah!
Soon the groans will start,
And the thing that will make them ring is the barhah
that you bring
And rip out human hearts!
