The Spanish Inquistion

PLEASE NOTE: This (misspelt) historical group is not to be confused with The Spanish Inquisition - spelt correctly - currently active in Vinetown and Pegton, and also known as TSI.--Mallrat 15:07, 9 November 2009 (UTC)

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" Nobody expects The Spanish Inquistion!"

-- Cardinal Ximenez after storming into a building uninvited

THE SPANISH INQUISTION! If you are here, then Cardinal Ximenez, Biggles, or Fang must have tortured you into becoming a follower of the teachings of HUMANISM, If you just found us because the Lord Hezeus must have given you a calling for us, Yes his name is Hezeus.

The Spanish Inquistion
Abbreviation:	TSI
Group Numbers:	Confidential
Leadership:	Hezeus, Cardinal Ximenez, Biggles, Fang
Goals:	To cleanse Malton of its unclean curse and convert the undead
Recruitment Policy:	Email Cardinal Ximenez or place TSI in profile
Contact:	In the talk page

News no one expected!

• January 30, 2008 -- TSI has its top men creating a entirely new type of battle plan that surviors have not tried Codename: 'BACKLASH'

--Cardinal Ximenez 23:50, 30 January 2008 (UTC)

History

Humans, Zombies, Transexuals, gather your ears...for they scatter the ground and are disgusting to look at, Thank You, *Ahem* as I was saying...For I am telling the tale of Cardinal Ximenez.....

Once along Time ago a young man named Jesus came back from the dead, Yes..Jesus was a member of the hordes. Roman Authorities contacted a young and up and coming priest named Ximenez to have Jesus feast on his brains. Ximenez, However via painful torturing, brought Jesus back to life, and Jesus said this to the lad.

Glory to ye Ximenez!. You have savethd me! For that I proclaim you immortal!

--Jesus of Nazareth 32 A.D.

Cardinal Ximenez spent the next 1976 years fighting zombies*, and with the help of his friends Biggles and Fang, slew zombies here and there! Until he got word of a zombie crisis in Malton, England. At which the trio picked up there weapons of torture and sailed to Great Britian to fight the hordes.

After being airlifted into Tollyton Ximenez began the great conversion....

Uniform

Wear red everything

Battleplans

As are name implies we are never to be expected in an area so for confidentiality's sake Only Cardinal Rank holy men are allowed to know how many members we currently have and specific battle plan details only codenames are to be released to the public until the time has passed

List of BattlePlans ongoing or in the works

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BACKLASH -- January 30, 2008 - ???

Current Location (1 month after the fact)

• Began new campaign in (NAME WITHHELD) expect results early on

Graffiti Tags for Dumbies

Everybody joins the Spanish Inquisition

The Spanish Inquisiton unexpectedly shot 3 zombies onto a wall

TSI Was here and tortured # zombies

A picture of several zombies being tortured onto a wall

JOIN THE SPANISH INQUISITION! JOIN LIFE!

How to join

Send a email to Cardinal Ximenez if you want to officially join, if you just don't want to interrupt a immortal god saving hero with something as trivial as this, don't worry its fine but if we see you wearing our uniform and commiting one of the 10 Deadly Sins we will torture and kill you

Methods of Torture

For Zombies

• Step 1 : Place the zombie onto a drying rack
  • Step 2 : If they still do not comply proceed to stuff all the cotton into one end of the pillows (It might not work otherwise) and poke them with it.
    • Step 3 : If they have not yet complied with step 1 or 2, place the criminal in a comfy chair.
      • Step 4 : If all else fails head shot them and throw them out the two story window.

For PKers

• Step 1 : Kill them.^

^Note:We of the Spanish Inquisition have a zero tolerance for unathourized PKing, Unless the members of the Spanish Inquisition Board of Directors, places a hit on them for obstructing of the cleasning of Malton.

10 Deadly Sins

• Sin #1 : Taking the life of another member of Humanism while in Human form. Tolerance 0%^
• Sin #2 : Spying on the Spanish Inquisition. Tolerance 10%^^
• Sin #3 : Being expected. Tolerance 0%(Inside of TSI's missions)
• Sin #4 : Destroying Tools of Humanism ie: radios, barricades, gennys, etc. etc. for no stated reason. Tolerance 30%
• Sin #5 : Killing anyone in a cemetary who has not recieved the mark of eternal hellfire ie: Brain Rot, or Vigilante #. Tolerance ??%^^^
• Sin #6 : Not killing any non humanists inside any church of Hezeus the Humanists. Tolerance 35%
• Sin #7 : Not reviving a member of the Inquisition. Tolerance 50%
• Sin #8 : Violation of Uniform code. Tolerance 85%
• Sin #9 : Telling of Secret orders. Tolerance 10%^^^^
• Sin #10 : Torturing with weapons unstated and or approved by the Council. Tolerance 34%^^^^^

^ Unless Council gives written approval or you ScrSht'd the mention killing.

^^ Without being giving of even juicier info on who you are spying on.

^^^ If they broke Sin #1 They die.

^^^^ Unless the orders are in place.

^^^^^ Unless they are much more effective.

How to Video

Still in the works it will come when no one expects it.

85%

So you want to be a Holy man Video

Still in the works it will come when no one expects it.

2%

How to Convert A Zombie The Spanish Way!

Still in the works it will come when no one expects it

45%

How is my torture?

If you want to compliment us with our tortures or complain about how they were not that painful Comment in the Comment section of the Discussion page

Reviews

That torture was so great I became a member of the Spanish Inquisiton for the Undead -- Converted Zombie

As I felt the wind blow throught the hole in my head whilst I fell from the two story building, I realized that If I ever was to truly live I must follow Hezeus the Humanist. -- Anonymus Zombie Convert

I gave up my PKing ways and am now on the road to Forgiveness. -- Former PKer (Note: You can only rise to Fang rank if convicted of Unathourized slaying)

You guys scared the rot out of me when you popped out of the walls of Blackmore I fainted on a Necrotech Syringe and became human and now follow Hezeus. -- Former RRF Member

Hezeus the Humanist, and Humanism

We mention this Hezeus figure alot Who is he? What is Humanism? These are the answers to those questions

Hezeus The Humanist -- Hezeus was born in 1982 to a hooker in London near the Thames River, His mother couldn't take care of him so she threw him into the Thames, were he was picked up be trucks carrying water to build the Malton Border Wall. As they set the concrete into blocks, little Hezeus was spotted by one of the workers who thought Hezeus was dead so he threw him into Malton and his concrete shell broke open, but before he could even gather his bearings, a group of the undead spotted him ran to attack little baby Hezeus, but as it turns out the pollution in the Thames that Hezeus had ingested included a prototype self-replicating Necrotech Formula Mark IIIa, so as all babies do after eating, Hezeus threw up some of the formula and the zombies became humans again, to show their thanks they took baby Hezeus into Caiger Mall where his presence made Caiger unbeatable, but as Hezeus grew older he wanted to explore the rest of Malton so he left Caiger and soon afterwards it fell as it appeared to the people that their savior had abandoned them, so they all commited mass suicide. But when the zombies entered the Sears Department in Caiger where Hezeus was kept for the last 14 years they found nothing thinking the harmans had hidden the savior, they search everywhere in Caiger never finding a trace of the boy, except for one thing, a syringe filled with baby barf next to a open manhole, driven insane by this failure the group of zombies wouldn't last much longer and soon all commited mass suicide a few months later. Some of those who lived the 30 foot fall from the Caiger Mall rooftops say Hezeus used the sewers to leave Malton forever, others say he still wanders in the sewers growing stronger and stronger each day until the day comes when he saves Malton. And legend has it that where ever Hezeus is that suburb won't stay in zombie hands for long....

Note: These stories may or may not be 100% accurate we just got them from random hobos in alleyways nearby Caiger Mall.

Humanism -- Started by Hezeus, Humanism is the believe, that being Human is the only way to be pure, and that NecroTechs are holy ground and should always be powered and kept safe by its followers, and that one day Hezeus will return through the very manhole from where he left, however to set a date is impossible and against Hezeus's No. 1 teaching " Never become expected. ". So Hezeus will never appear when someone says he will as long as the date is specfic. Humanists teach that the unclean can only be cleaned via Painful Torture and that any with the Mark of Eternal Hellfire must be tortured nonstop for 40 days and 40 nights before being shot in the head with a 12 gauge shot gun full of American Dimes.

Policies

• WHITE FLAG POLICY -- A policy which states that any group or user who gives in to TSI's requests and/or demands will not be harmed by any TSI members until the next crime.

• SACRED 'G' POLICY -- No fighting can be done near Churchs or any block that touches them.

• ZOMBIE HIGHWAY POLICY -- No zombie is a threat unless they move onto the same block as a occupied building (ie: Not ruined) (roads are for zombies building for Humanists) and no zombie should ever be allowed in a Church, or NT unless that wish to be cleansed of zombinal Zin (Brain Rot).

• NO CAPITAL POLICY -- TSI is a Nomadic group and goes where it pleases (but we do have a command center located somewhere in Malton).

• CHURCHTECH POLICY -- Churchs function as NT in the 'WasteBand' (the band of suburbs without NT's in the SouthWest) or in emergencies.