Ultimex Corp.
| Ultimex Corporation | |
| Abbreviation: | Ultimex Corp. |
| Group Numbers: | Undisclosed |
| Leadership: | Arcos |
| Goals: | Protect/rescue live citizens and research practical uses for zombies |
| Recruitment Policy: | Information |
| Contact: | Arcos |
Ultimex Corp. has become a defunct agency
Ultimex Corp. is dedicated to the protection/rescue of those still living in Malton. As the founder, Arcos, has been quoted, "What is a corporation without people? That's right, nothing. People come first."
Ultimex Corp.'s second goal is researching practical applications for the zombies. Applications such as: gameshows, manual labor, unsavory jobs, military, guards, and food disposal. Again Arcos has been quoted as saying, "I like to think of myself as 'forward thinking': There are zombies now and there's nothing we can do about that, but we can do something with that." Now, at first you may think ill of your recently deceased aunt or uncle being the new school janitor, but would you really rather them rot in the ground, accomplishing nothing?
The second goal can be summed up as such: A work force composed of the decomposing. Untiring, unwhining, ununionized, cheap labor; it's the dream of everyone everywhere.
Of course, there are concerns about health issues, what with zombies wanting to bite and all, but we can guarantee that we will work diligently to make leaps and bounds to promote the safety and security of the people. We are even planning research to bring other animals back, such as house pets. We are already applying for several patents, including the patents for the probable causes; through the use of cellular communication. We already hold several patents for a few of the possible causes, but we are having trouble procuring the "divine wrath" patent.
But, I digress, we are not savages. Zombification will be as voluntary and painless as possible and we will pay your family for your afterlife.
Join today and make a better future for tomorrow.
NPOV
In a concerted effort to not bias this section, which is fundamental to a good reputation, I will not be placing anything here. You may, so long as it is irrevocably true and conforms to NPOV standards.
Alliances
Ultimex Corp. is currently in ka-hooch with:
Ultimex Corp. policies
|
Sacred Ground Policy Supporter |
| This user or group supports the Sacred Ground Policy and acknowledges that all Cemeteries in the city of Malton are considered Revivification Points. |
 |
McZeds™ |
| This User or Group eats at McZeds™. They also support the Use of Corpses for High Quality Processed Fast Food. |
