Zombie Inc
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Inactive Group |
| Zombie Inc are no longer active. Its group page is preserved for archival purposes. Please do not edit this page. This group was reported inactive on 13:34, 16 July 2010 (BST) Not Inactive? |
| Zombie Inc. | |
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| Abbreviation: | Z.Inc. |
| Group Numbers: | 14 |
| Leadership: | Unavailable for comment |
| Goals: | Block busting via zombie plague |
| Recruitment Policy: | Open to all zombies or unscrupulous humans |
| Contact: | here |
New Picture 'dead'acated to the memory of the group.
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Sacred Ground Policy Supporter |
| Zombie Inc. supports the Sacred Ground Policy & will not attempt purchase or sale of said properties. |
Zombie Inc. is a venture real estate organization dedicated to buying property within Malton. It has been proposed by the company's board that someone may still benefit from the increase of undead activity in the city and that that someone should be Zombie Inc.
"Nothing deflates property value like a zombie plague. It's only natural that someone takes advantage of a burgeoning market."-says a Zombie Inc. research Accountant who wishes to remain unnamed. The primary interest of the firm is to ensure that the undead maintain a foothold within Malton, long enough for the company to acquire city real estate at cutthroat prices. To facilitate the take over, the board contracts live outsiders (often illegal aliens) to be zombified and enter Malton under the condition that after the plague is successful they will be revivified and allowed to purchase property at special discount "VIP" price. "Zombie INC is not about flesh eating zombies it's about building a future for your family."- says Zombie Inc.'s PR manager, who also wishes to remain anonymous.
Members of the board keep far way from Malton, occupied mostly with the political backlash stemming from what some politicians are calling "indentured zombism", "profiteering", or worse. Sources at NecroTech who admit to having been offered positions in Zombie Inc. claim that an human HQ is likely kept somewhere within the city where a science team can keep an eye on the firms investments. These speculations have not been confirmed or denied by Zombie Inc. Its initial customers include the following; here is what some of them had to say prior to their decision to become zombies.
Testimonials
bbrraaiinnss- "Well, I tried to get a loan from the bank but they said I was a "high risk". Then Zombie Inc contacted me. They said I could have any home of my choice for just a few months of work, and being as I would be dead, the time should fly by before I knew it. Plus, they said they could air lift me to the bank so to increase my chance of eating that loan officer."
growr- "Hi. I'm here about the intern position. My name's... OOWCH! What the hell was that! Did you just stab me with a needle!! I... dont feel... so... goo---"
nemisis 316- "In my homeland, I and my family live 1 room apartment. We are 7 of us! After I being Zombie for awhile they say we can live 2 room apartment!"
vanblade- "Low interest rates and great prices! How could I say no!"
vanbrain- "Wait, I thought you said I just had to cosign?"
ZombieSnouff- "After my car, house, and Russian mail-order bride got reposessed, I couldn't get so much as a cell-phone contract. Now with Zombie Inc. in a few short months, and a lot of biting, I'll be able to afford the home of my dreams. Maybe I'll even be able to get my bride back! Thanks, Zombie Inc!"
Spike -"I get to have the Malton Bridge! Really, look they gave me a receipt."
Snake- "Listen up you stupid slow moving pansies. I'm the muscle of this here outfit. I make sure you do you job and you do it right. Any of you try and get revivified before your contract is up they get a visit from me. I also make sure no one pushes our operation around...if you have any problems with someone other then me, I'll take care of it... *light a cig* and by the way call me snake." (M.I.A. assumed dead... proper dead)
braaiins- " La gente de Zombie Inc. son la unica que entender como tratar los estranjeros en Malton. He vivido en tres apartamientos diferentes en este ciudad, y nadie me ha dado el servicio mejor que los de Zombie Inc. Viva Zombie Inc! Viva los Muertos!"
BlindingUWScience- "We dont want our clients becoming too injured, or unreviveable due to brain rot. Thats why we offer periodic first aid and DNA scans as a complementary service. Zombies are people too; and deserve to be treated with respect."
Tyr- ...and she said "I wish you would just DIE!" She'll be sorry! She doesn't think I'll do it. Heh, I'll show her. She will beg to have me back but I wont even understand a word she says. Zombies have it made dude, seriously."
fruitninja- "At first I said "Hell No!". I mean, Im a husband and father. I have responsibilities to my family. How would they get by while I was undead? Then over a cup of coco, they told me about the "Family Prefered" plan. So the wife and kids can join in and we get an even better deal! The ol' lady always said we should do more things together as a family. They're telling her about it now. [muffled screeming from other room]"
Asor- "I've spent 14 years as a cop, and my pension won't even cover the cost of my bar tab let alone a morgage. So Zombie Inc. is the life for me. I'm tradin' these blues for brains, and when its all said 'n done they say I can own my own Department."
Azog- "...so when she got the house and sole custody of the cat in the divorce, I figured I'd had enough. I found this flyer from Zombie Inc. on my windshield, and immediately knew what I had to do. Now I'm well on my way to getting the house back, and she is actually doing something useful for the first time in her life. Well, being in a zombie horde doesn't really count as her "life", I guess, but you get the idea."
Ian Fection- "When I became a zombie during the early outbreaks I thought my life was over. I just shambled randomly either when dead or alive, not really caring for anything. But now, thanks to 'Zombie Inc.', I have something to work towards, and once the plague is dealt with I'll have my own high-class apartment, or even a villa!"
Promotional
East Becktown Holiday sale!!!-- Kill any PLEB member get 1 year FREE lease at the Percival building, and a FREE membership at nearby Moseley Library. Interested parties can meet with a Zombie Inc representitive in any of 3 ways:
- 1. Simply add our name to your affiliations list. Then come to East Becktown and speak to one of our customers in the field.
- 2. Use the discussion page of this Wiki and add your profile above
- 3. Use the TechHouse Forum on the Contact list
Weech Way Zombie Clinic(26,33) No health insurance when living? No worries. Weech Way now designated as a free medical service station for all undead residing in the the East Becktown area. Zombies seeking medical attention here are encouraged not to eat the staff.
OPEN HOUSES
A list of properties open for public tour in February:
- West Becktown
- East Becktown
- Club Normandare [23,39}- After a short business trip, Zombie Inc returns to East Becktown for a night of festivity. Join us in celebrating the successfull Ackland Mall sale, and in toasting to financial prosperity at the upcomming Caiger negotiations.
- Caiger Mall- Feb. 2006 - Malton's most popular shopping plaza is seriously lacking in access. Help Z.Inc. turn the surrounding neighborhood into a parcking lot.
Financial News
December- The recent Strike has sent property values skyrocketing in some suburbs. While early quarter sales numbers in those areas show short term gains for the company, stockholders fear the long term investment plan is in serious jeopardy. Zombie inc scientists have tried tirelessly to lure the indentured undead back to work, but they just wont budge. The board of Directors has been in closed negotiations with its clients next of kin, but as of yet a mutual agreement has not been settled.
January- A joint effort with popular gastronomists from Ars Requiem is underway to form Malton's very own branch of the international Diners Club association.
February- East Becktown's property values have collapsed even faster then its barricades; this due largely to the increased undead immigration. Analysts predict Z.Inc stock prices to grow considerably this month as the "Zombie Tourism" add campaign continues.
March- News of looters in and around Zombie Inc. properties have scarred away some investors. Rumors abound that the company is developing a security force to protect these assets. A new undead tenent program is also being proposed, which would allow resident zombies to pay rent by means of life insurance policies.
