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Important Notice
As this is the UBCS' paper, expect inside jokes.
STOP THE PRESSES!
- Deathwire Strikes Back!
- In a true act of anger, Deathwire attacked Haliman Sunday. The wisp tried to possess Haliman, but as he tried to enter, the tin foil hat repelled him.
- Umbrella Corp: A Myth?
- As the UBCS ranks begin to swell, more and more people are asking about the war. When asked, Lithedarkangel said "War? What war?" Our reporters tried to contact Umbrella reps, only to find that they gave us a fake address. Was there really a war? Was this a delusional Haliman telling us more stories?
- FOXHOUND Butthurt.
- Editor Haliman was sent hate mail this week from angry FOXHOUND members. "We're a great group," some said. "Tell them the real side of us," said others. When confronted, Haliman had this to say: "I refuse to publish lies in my newspaper."
- Snakeyes and Trebor Zitro: Conspiracy?
- Snakeyes and Trebor, UBCS members, are under investigation Thursday. Speculators accuse them of being the same person. One is a detective, while the other is a ninja. "Too closely related..." says Haliman. "Who will listen to that nutjob?" replied Trebor and Snake.
- Megameh's Looks; Gone!
- UBCS members were startled Saturday, when resident good looker Megameh showed up a wreck! When asked, he said "Well, Haliman said I had to look more professional. I decided to base my new look on him." Haliman was not available for comment. Witnesses say he was at the store trying on new wigs and whiter dentures.
Meet an Ally
This week: The Imperium!
The Imperium is an ally of the UBCS. They are a group who beleives that they are space soldiers or something and have a deity called the Emperor. They seem to think zombies are some sort of mutant thing from their strange space universe. They are probably one of the saner groups the UBCS hangs out with.
Awards
- Rookie Of The Week'
- Leon Cane - Because I'm not gonna pass up a chance to call Leon a rookie.
- Freeloader Of The Week
- Rohanzap - For spending the most time in the chatbox with no intention of joining.
Haliman: What's your favorite part of the paper?
Metfan: Where you make fun of me.
Haliman: So the paper is flawless?
Haliman: Pwnt.
You Know You're A UBCS Member When...
...You love scatman.
...You make fun of FOXHOUND.
...You worship Lord Deathwire.
...You can kill a zombie by sheer awesomeness.
...You call Haliman old.
The Mega Corner
Today, some level one person ran up to me, asked if I was a "friend or foe" about 4 times, then punched me in the face, muttering something about a spraw pain, then left. In my head echoed questions. Who is this mysterious person? Who is chasing him? what exactly is spraw pain? I will never know, as he had vanished when I logged on.
From the senile old man's office
Alright, this week we added The Mega Corner, and "You know you're a UBCS member when...!" Enjoy!
Signed,
Senile Old Man
This Articles' Editor(s)
--Haliman - Talk
--User:Megameh
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