User:A Helpful Little Gnome/EvilPlans/Gnome Army/Battles/ActualBattleArchive

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~Back to Battles and Conflicts~

An epic battle between Axe Hack and A Helpful Little Gnome

(No, I don't know what's going on either, don't ask me--SeventythreeTalk 10:24, 1 October 2007 (BST)) YOU DISRUPTED MY WORKFLOW! I'M GOING TO HAVE TO KILL YOU NOW!!

Nope I'm all good! Thanks!--  AHLGTG THE END IS NIGH! 23:21, 21 September 2007 (BST)

Har har. I still want me medal though!--  AHLGTG THE END IS NIGH! 23:25, 21 September 2007 (BST)
Like the other two medals you gave me. It was the medal for me beating you in that copycat battle.--  AHLGTG THE END IS NIGH! 23:32, 21 September 2007 (BST)
Yes... yes... believe that I'm working you do. (He doesn't realized that I'm creating a WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCTION!)--  AHLGTG THE END IS NIGH! 20:31, 26 September 2007 (BST)
In time, my EEEVVIIIIIIILLLLLL friend. In time.--  AHLGTG THE END IS NIGH! 20:35, 26 September 2007 (BST)
BOO! I'm back from hell...don't worry. The devil sent his reaper for you. --•▬ ▬••▬ • •••• •▬ ▬•▬• ▬•▬ #nerftemplatedsigs 20:38, 26 September 2007 (BST)
^^Whos this weirdo^^ Well 73, lets just say that even EEEEVVVVVIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLL Vista wouldn't do it.--  AHLGTG THE END IS NIGH! 20:43, 26 September 2007 (BST)
Yes I know that its a little risky to do something that even EEEVVVVIIIIIIIIILLLLLL Vista wouldn't do, but I'm not backing down from this.--  AHLGTG THE END IS NIGH! 20:46, 26 September 2007 (BST)
Note to Gnome...in my books...it is illegal to call me a weirdo. Mr. Devil! Take his soul away! *The Devil pops out from hell and steals Gnome's soul* --•▬ ▬••▬ • •••• •▬ ▬•▬• ▬•▬ #nerftemplatedsigs 20:51, 26 September 2007 (BST)
Why would you do that? Now he will just be more evil!--SeventythreeTalk 20:53, 26 September 2007 (BST)
Easy fix. Where's the Ghost Rider when you need him... --•▬ ▬••▬ • •••• •▬ ▬•▬• ▬•▬ #nerftemplatedsigs 20:54, 26 September 2007 (BST)
Darn edit conflicts *ehem*Well since this WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCTION is so evil that I can't even contemplate it, or write it down then EEEVVIIIIIIILLLLLLLL Vista can't possbily know that I'm making a plan thats far more EEEVIIIIIILLLL than anything that EEEEVIIIIILLLLL Vista would even think about doing. So you see, you and I are safe from EEEVIIIIILLLLL Vista because if he can't know, he can't harm. K?--  AHLGTG THE END IS NIGH! 20:55, 26 September 2007 (BST)
Gnomes don't have souls, Axe. --  AHLGTG THE END IS NIGH! 20:55, 26 September 2007 (BST) double edit conflict, I type too slow!
Yes they do. On the bottom of their boots.--SeventythreeTalk 20:56, 26 September 2007 (BST)
Whatever you do...don't pull his finger. --•▬ ▬••▬ • •••• •▬ ▬•▬• ▬•▬ #nerftemplatedsigs 20:58, 26 September 2007 (BST)
Finger injuries are painfull.--SeventythreeTalk 20:59, 26 September 2007 (BST)
I swear...don't pull his finger...at all. The smell is unbearable. --•▬ ▬••▬ • •••• •▬ ▬•▬• ▬•▬ #nerftemplatedsigs 21:00, 26 September 2007 (BST)
>Pulls his finger<--SeventythreeTalk 21:02, 26 September 2007 (BST)
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! --•▬ ▬••▬ • •••• •▬ ▬•▬• ▬•▬ #nerftemplatedsigs 21:03, 26 September 2007 (BST)
Neeerrrggghhhhh!!!!!!--SeventythreeTalk 21:04, 26 September 2007 (BST)
*Toot!*--  AHLGTG THE END IS NIGH! 21:15, 26 September 2007 (BST)
Good lord! It's like cabbages marinated in bat guano!--SeventythreeTalk 21:17, 26 September 2007 (BST)
I told you not to pull! I swear...pull it again and there might be a nuclear explosion here... --•▬ ▬••▬ • •••• •▬ ▬•▬• ▬•▬ #nerftemplatedsigs 01:31, 27 September 2007 (BST)
*Begins to eat beans.*--  AHLGTG THE END IS NIGH! 03:43, 27 September 2007 (BST)
*Begins to build a nuclear fallout shelter.* 73...whatever you do...don't pull his finger until this fallout shelter is complete...and when I'm inside... --•▬ ▬••▬ • •••• •▬ ▬•▬• ▬•▬ #nerftemplatedsigs 22:41, 27 September 2007 (BST)
Yes, only when he's inside 73. My, what a comfy nuclear fallout shelter you have there. Mind if I take a seat?--  AHLGTG THE END IS NIGH! 22:46, 27 September 2007 (BST)
(Pulls finger and runs)--SeventythreeTalk 22:48, 27 September 2007 (BST)
NO! I'm not done! --•▬ ▬••▬ • •••• •▬ ▬•▬• ▬•▬ #nerftemplatedsigs 23:08, 27 September 2007 (BST)
>throws lit match behind him<--SeventythreeTalk 23:16, 27 September 2007 (BST)
*TOOOTIEE TOOT TOOOOOOOTTT! WOOOSH KABOOOOM!*--  AHLGTG THE END IS NIGH! 23:22, 27 September 2007 (BST)
AHHHHHH!!!!!! *Axe Hack goes flying and lands on top of 73* Oh no! The blast destroyed my Mudkip Army!!! --•▬ ▬••▬ • •••• •▬ ▬•▬• ▬•▬ #nerftemplatedsigs 23:33, 27 September 2007 (BST)
It's ok. I sold em all to the boneyard for glue anyway--SeventythreeTalk 23:56, 27 September 2007 (BST)
Very well...for my next trick...ARISE MY ARMY!!!! *1,000,000,000,000 Mudkips appear out of nowhere. With nuclear fart protection.* MWUHAHAHAHAHA! Mudkips! Advance! The world will tremble at the might of my Mudkip Army!!! With reinforcements coming from Penguinland, aka Antarctica, nothing will stop me!!!! *The Penguin Army arrives from Antarctica and begins destroying the army sent by the UN.* --•▬ ▬••▬ • •••• •▬ ▬•▬• ▬•▬ #nerftemplatedsigs 00:02, 28 September 2007 (BST)
Whaddaya think I made all that glue for? Sure, you've got loads of Mudkips and Penguins, but they're all glued up.--SeventythreeTalk 00:03, 28 September 2007 (BST)
Glue gets destroyed by water. Mudkips! Water Gun!!! *Every Mudkips begins destroying the glue with their Water Gun attack.* Nothing will stop me, I tell ya! Nothing! --•▬ ▬••▬ • •••• •▬ ▬•▬• ▬•▬ #nerftemplatedsigs 00:05, 28 September 2007 (BST)
How about a shiney frisbee?--SeventythreeTalk 00:07, 28 September 2007 (BST)

I don't play frisbee. But...if you don't want me to destroy you...you can pledge allegiance to me... --•▬ ▬••▬ • •••• •▬ ▬•▬• ▬•▬ #nerftemplatedsigs 00:10, 28 September 2007 (BST)

Nope. I was gonna distract your strange army with it, then bribe them with shiney pennies.--SeventythreeTalk 00:13, 28 September 2007 (BST)
You have forgotten that I have a Stewie Griffin enlisted. Stewie! Use your secret weapons and destroy 73! And I don't care if it's your diaper you use! *Stewie takes out his secret weapon an blasts 73 with it. And defenses 73 has is instantly destroyed. Stewie then throws his diaper on 73...filled with poop.* --•▬ ▬••▬ • •••• •▬ ▬•▬• ▬•▬ #nerftemplatedsigs 00:16, 28 September 2007 (BST)

*snickers to himself*--  AHLGTG THE END IS NIGH! 00:29, 28 September 2007 (BST)

You dare laugh in my time of world domination? Penguins! Snowballs at the ready! And...FIRE!!! *A volley of snowballs hit Gnome where it hurts the most.* --•▬ ▬••▬ • •••• •▬ ▬•▬• ▬•▬ #nerftemplatedsigs 00:43, 28 September 2007 (BST)
Activate the deflector shield! "Aiye aiye captain!" Ready my ship for combat sergeant. It's time to show those axes and numbers what we're made of.--  AHLGTG THE END IS NIGH! 00:46, 28 September 2007 (BST)
Bring in Autobots! "Optimus Prime, reporting for duty." Good...take out those deflector shields and crush Gnome! "Yes sir. Autobots! Mobilize!" --•▬ ▬••▬ • •••• •▬ ▬•▬• ▬•▬ #nerftemplatedsigs 00:49, 28 September 2007 (BST)
Arm the Destrocterinating Beam! "Charging! .... READY!" On my word.... FIRE! *Pew pew pew*--  AHLGTG THE END IS NIGH! 01:02, 28 September 2007 (BST)
Release the Heartlesses! "The door of dark opened sir! The Heartlesses are here!" *The Heartlesses destroy every Destrocterinating Beam that Gnome has.* "Sir! King Mickey sends reinforcements!" *Sora, Donald, and Goofy appear* "I'm Sora, the holder of the keyblade! The King sends us three to help! More are on the way!" *Sora, Goofy, and Donald charge into Gnome's foot soldiers, forcing them on the retreat.* Excellent. --•▬ ▬••▬ • •••• •▬ ▬•▬• ▬•▬ #nerftemplatedsigs 01:10, 28 September 2007 (BST)
RETREAT!!! "Ahhhh!!!" Clang BANG BANG! Ready the Gnome Powder sergeant! "Sir, what Gno-" SILENCE! Don't give it away fool! *ehem* Prepare the Gnome Powder as ordered!--  AHLGTG THE END IS NIGH! 01:25, 28 September 2007 (BST)
"Sir! Sam Fisher is back with enemy plans and placement!" Good. Send him in. "Sir. The enemy is on the retreat. They are using a nonexistant Gnome Powder as a decoy to cover their retreat. Their placements are scattered in this valley. If we block both exits of this valley, and take the placements on top of the valley, we will be able to box them in." Very well. We'll place the Autobots and Heartlesses at this end, forcing Gnome to run back out the other way into a waiting Mudkip Army, along with Sora and his group. We'll position the Penguins up top on the valley, boxing them in. Mr. Fisher! Give orders to all units! "Yes sir!" *Sam Fisher runs out of the tent and sends messengers to every unit. All units take up their positions around the valley, boxing in Gnome's force.* And now...we wait for them to realize they are boxed in... --•▬ ▬••▬ • •••• •▬ ▬•▬• ▬•▬ #nerftemplatedsigs 01:39, 28 September 2007 (BST)

"Captain! We're boxed in sir! Yer stupid plan is gonna get us all killed. Ye limmie idi- *CRACK. RIP. With the eyeballs of the sergeant stuck on his fingers, the Gnome tosses the head from sight.* Right. Insolent pant wearing idiot. Corporal! Your the new sergeant. "Duh, ok." Hold yer positions lads! We must hold out! GNOME POWER!! "Gnome power! Yaahhh!" To the death!--  AHLGTG THE END IS NIGH! 01:48, 28 September 2007 (BST)

*Looking from binoculars.* Looks like they saw they've been boxed in. And they're still fighting....very well. Penguins! Artillery fire! *A volley of snowballs drop down the valley into many ranks of Gnome's force.* Now! Their rear is undefended! Autobots and Heartlesses! Attack! *The Heartlesses and the Autobots charge Gnome's rear flank and annihilates many of Gnome's soldiers.* All right, while they're distracted, full frontal charge! *Sora's group and the Mudkip army charges headon into the front of Gnome's force, annihilating many. Gnome's army now faces an attack from the sky, the rear, and the front. There is no escape.* MWUHAHAHAHA! The country of Gnome is almost in my hands...Their general is now boxed in, with no retreat! MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! --•▬ ▬••▬ • •••• •▬ ▬•▬• ▬•▬ #nerftemplatedsigs 01:55, 28 September 2007 (BST)
"Captain! They've devastated many of us! Are they close enough yet? We can't take much more o' this!" Cool yer butt sergeant! They are close enough now. GNOMES! PREPARE OPERATION T! Those with pants, DROP 'EM! FORMATIONS PEOPLE! WE DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME! *the remaining gnomes manage to form a crude circle on a hill, with their pants down and aimed outwards* Wait for my signal!! ............... Sir. Their getting closer. Sir! CAPTAIN!" FIRE! *TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!! *A collasal wave of noxious gas spews forth from the butt of every gnome. Mudkips, autobots and the likes that are caught in the blast are asploded upon impact. Those lucky enough to escape the majority of the blast suffer terrible gnome people welts. (Welts that are little gnomes that bite really hard)*--  AHLGTG THE END IS NIGH! 02:06, 28 September 2007 (BST)
Hahaha! Have you forgotten? My army is equipped with nuclear fart armor! They're partically unaffected! Hahaha! Now for some real fun to start...*The sky darkens and out from the sky appears Sephiroth.* Now...you all die...Sephiroth! Use the black materia! *Throws Sephiroth the black materia. Sephiroth uses it and a gigantic meteor appears from the sky. The time to impact is 1 hour.* MWUHAHAHAHA! There is no stopping it! Well...there is one way, but you won't know how unless you played Final Fantasy 7!!! Looks like it'll be over for you shortly! --•▬ ▬••▬ • •••• •▬ ▬•▬• ▬•▬ #nerftemplatedsigs 19:29, 28 September 2007 (BST)
DAMMIT! Stupid nuclear fart armor! Well at least we managed to deal with the first wave, nothing can withstand that magnitude of vibration. And whats this black materia thing? Anyone played final fantasy 7? Comon, I know one of have! Fred! Didn't your little brother play!?!?! "Uhhhh, duurrr liek yeah!"........... *ehem* "Oh! Hehe duurrrrr you hafta errr (godam article) uhhh keep the Weapon from errr breaking lose! HA" The Weapon breaks loose and the black materia is swallowed down to the Planet's centre, never to be heard from again. AHAHA! GNOME POWAR!--  AHLGTG THE END IS NIGH! 20:49, 28 September 2007 (BST)
(I have to document my Gnome Army somewhere, as a secret EEEVIIIILLLL plan or something!
Holy shit! What the hell happened in my absence? Who said you could have a battle on my talkpage? Where am I?--SeventythreeTalk 21:07, 28 September 2007 (BST)
Gotta go! *Loads army into spaceships and takes off.* Now...to conquer the galaxy! *Watches the meteor destroy Earth, with no lifestream to stop it as it is nonexistant.* MWUHAHAHAHAHAHA! --•▬ ▬••▬ • •••• •▬ ▬•▬• ▬•▬ #nerftemplatedsigs 21:10, 28 September 2007 (BST)
Can't you guys blow up the planet on your own talkpages?--SeventythreeTalk 21:11, 28 September 2007 (BST)
Good thing we're actually on Gnometopolistagon. And you said those holograms wouldn't work!--  AHLGTG THE END IS NIGH! 21:12, 28 September 2007 (BST)
Glomenawhat? Wha? WHo? Wehre?--SeventythreeTalk 21:13, 28 September 2007 (BST)
"Sir! Obi Wan Kenobi is here with locations of the Gnomes homeplanet! He sends you these documents!" Good. Activate Hyperspace! *Hyperspace activates and stops in front of Gnometopolistagon.* Prepare for landing! *All spaceships land on the planet and the army exits and battle a few Gnome gaurds caught off guard.* This is it...the battle of a lifetime...and I shall win. MWUHAHAHAHA! --•▬ ▬••▬ • •••• •▬ ▬•▬• ▬•▬ #nerftemplatedsigs 21:17, 28 September 2007 (BST)
Jedis now? --SeventythreeTalk 21:18, 28 September 2007 (BST)
Yup. You won't believe my army. I got Mudkips, Stewie, penguins, the Kingdom Hearts crew, Sephiroth, Splinter Cell, Autobots, and if all goes well, I won't need to bring back some great warriors from the past. --•▬ ▬••▬ • •••• •▬ ▬•▬• ▬•▬ #nerftemplatedsigs 21:22, 28 September 2007 (BST)
That's ok. I got the first.--SeventythreeTalk 21:25, 28 September 2007 (BST)
Now that you see the power of my army...would you care to sign a harsh alliance with me? Don't worry...it won't be that harsh...for me at least. --•▬ ▬••▬ • •••• •▬ ▬•▬• ▬•▬ #nerftemplatedsigs 21:28, 28 September 2007 (BST)
Nope. I got the first--SeventythreeTalk 21:29, 28 September 2007 (BST)
You dare defy my proposition? *Activates time machine and brings back the warriors of the 3 Kingdoms Period of China.* Don't make me declare war with only Lu Bu...Even though he's one man, he can sure take out 75% of an army... --•▬ ▬••▬ • •••• •▬ ▬•▬• ▬•▬ #nerftemplatedsigs 21:31, 28 September 2007 (BST)
You can't win, It's the first.--SeventythreeTalk 21:32, 28 September 2007 (BST)
What is it with you and the first??!? AHHH!!! My brain hurts! Mudkips and every other bit of my army! Retreat from number land!!! Oh god...the pain!!! --•▬ ▬••▬ • •••• •▬ ▬•▬• ▬•▬ #nerftemplatedsigs 21:38, 28 September 2007 (BST)
Haha. I'm serious though. I will document this in User:A Helpful Little Gnome/EvilPlans#Gnome Army.--  AHLGTG THE END IS NIGH! 22:01, 28 September 2007 (BST)
Hm...good idea...a page for a user's evil plans...Maybe I should make one...And add something to counter 73's first... --•▬ ▬••▬ • •••• •▬ ▬•▬• ▬•▬ #nerftemplatedsigs 00:46, 29 September 2007 (BST)

An alliance

With you, Oh great Generalissimo Seventythree. Together, we may vanquish the axe who hack's army of mudkip and robots!--  AHLGTG THE END IS NIGH! 02:50, 29 September 2007 (BST)

Don't listen to him! If you forge an alliance with me...and break all friendly ties with Gnome...you can have this crackpipe...
Crack-pipe.jpg It seemed like a good Idea…
Axe Hack has given Seventythree a crackpipe to forge an alliance with Axe Hack. There's even some fresh crack in this pipe!

--•▬ ▬••▬ • •••• •▬ ▬•▬• ▬•▬ #nerftemplatedsigs 18:21, 29 September 2007 (BST)

2 crackpipes?--  AHLGTG THE END IS NIGH! 18:41, 29 September 2007 (BST)
I'm not allying with anyone just yet--SeventythreeTalk 18:44, 29 September 2007 (BST)
3?--  AHLGTG THE END IS NIGH! 21:57, 29 September 2007 (BST)
I can make you rich. Just look at my unlimited stash of money trees. And diamonds... --•▬ ▬••▬ • •••• •▬ ▬•▬• ▬•▬ #nerftemplatedsigs 22:03, 29 September 2007 (BST)
Gnomes + Leprechauns = Good friends.--  AHLGTG THE END IS NIGH! 22:03, 29 September 2007 (BST)
Too bad 73 is numbers and not leprechauns. 73! I'll give you numbers! More numbers then you can imagine! And those numbers coming from crackpipes, money trees, diamonds, and more. --•▬ ▬••▬ • •••• •▬ ▬•▬• ▬•▬ #nerftemplatedsigs 22:21, 29 September 2007 (BST)
∞+1. There is no greater number than that. You want? You can have.--  AHLGTG THE END IS NIGH! 22:25, 29 September 2007 (BST)
HA! I can make 73 into the greatest number in the world! Every number<73. And now...73 is the greatest number in the world! --•▬ ▬••▬ • •••• •▬ ▬•▬• ▬•▬ #nerftemplatedsigs 22:31, 29 September 2007 (BST)
Why would I want every number being 73? Then I wouldn't be unique--SeventythreeTalk 22:47, 29 September 2007 (BST)
No. That was "Every number less then 73"! --•▬ ▬••▬ • •••• •▬ ▬•▬• ▬•▬ #nerftemplatedsigs 23:25, 29 September 2007 (BST)

Hmmmmm. Interesting. Go on....--SeventythreeTalk 23:27, 29 September 2007 (BST)

By forging an alliance with me, I shall make this official in the rules of mathematics and science, making you the greatest number that ever existed! Soon, you will be greater then 1,000,000,000,000!!! Think about it. Wouldn't it be nice if everyone wrote "1,000,000,000,000 < 73"? --•▬ ▬••▬ • •••• •▬ ▬•▬• ▬•▬ #nerftemplatedsigs 23:33, 29 September 2007 (BST)
Well, It is an awful tempting offer.--SeventythreeTalk 23:35, 29 September 2007 (BST)
1,000,000,000,001 < 73.--  AHLGTG THE END IS NIGH! 23:37, 29 September 2007 (BST)
∞ < 73. Beat that. --•▬ ▬••▬ • •••• •▬ ▬•▬• ▬•▬ #nerftemplatedsigs 23:39, 29 September 2007 (BST)
But infinity is infinite. Something that is infinite is impossbile to percieve, according to some thought experiments things that are impossbile to percieve do not exist. THerefore I would not exist.--SeventythreeTalk 23:42, 29 September 2007 (BST)
What would convince you?--  AHLGTG THE END IS NIGH! 23:44, 29 September 2007 (BST)

The best shiney template/funny comment/llama. As usual.--SeventythreeTalk 23:45, 29 September 2007 (BST)

Kittah?--  AHLGTG THE END IS NIGH! 23:46, 29 September 2007 (BST)
Yes, funny kittie links are acceptable.--SeventythreeTalk 23:47, 29 September 2007 (BST)
It should be quite easy to make me laugth , as I am quite high at the moment.--SeventythreeTalk 23:47, 29 September 2007 (BST)
Well first off... about page 80+ is lots of pictures. Perhaps we can shake on this?--  AHLGTG THE END IS NIGH! 23:50, 29 September 2007 (BST)
Hahhahahaha! That was sooo funny! --SeventythreeTalk 23:51, 29 September 2007 (BST)
And this. --  AHLGTG THE END IS NIGH! 23:54, 29 September 2007 (BST)
Oh man! Bears! I did not know bears could type--SeventythreeTalk 23:55, 29 September 2007 (BST)
NOOOOOO!!!! Very well...If you would both go to my Evil Plans page, that would be nice. *Snickers* --•▬ ▬••▬ • •••• •▬ ▬•▬• ▬•▬ #nerftemplatedsigs 23:55, 29 September 2007 (BST)

Heh. Hoped on the "Steal from Gnome" train too, eh? --•▬ ▬••▬ • •••• •▬ ▬•▬• ▬•▬ #nerftemplatedsigs 00:02, 30 September 2007 (BST)

Well at least mine looks prettier...--  AHLGTG THE END IS NIGH! 00:02, 30 September 2007 (BST)

Yup. I mugged him faster than a crack addict in deptford.--SeventythreeTalk 00:03, 30 September 2007 (BST)

I actually planned mine out. But the layouts? I might steal that from my user page, even though it not as good. Or...I can steal that from Gnome as well...Hmmm... --•▬ ▬••▬ • •••• •▬ ▬•▬• ▬•▬ #nerftemplatedsigs 00:05, 30 September 2007 (BST)
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