User:Dennis Reynolds
Dennis Reynolds: An Erotic Life
"Hello fellow American. This you should vote me. I leave power. Good. Thank you, thank you. If you vote me, I'm hot. What? Taxes, they'll be lower... son. The Democratic vote is the right thing to do Philadelphia, so do."
Dennis is a co-owner of Paddy's Pub and is Deandra Reynolds' twin brother. An underachiever who reached the peak of his life in college, Dennis is extremely narcissistic, selfish, and vain. His sense of self-worth is entirely dependent on what others think of his appearance and sex appeal. He frequently obsesses over any possibility that he may have a visible physical flaw and often spends his time trying to correct it. Dennis needs constant reassurance that he is attractive; he often goes to shocking or dangerous lengths to gain the attention and approval of people around him. Dennis frequently drinks large amounts of alcohol and occasionally uses other drugs.
Dennis has a strong superiority complex. He is almost wholly unable to empathize and routinely destroys others' property, betrays his friends, and harshly criticizes the appearance of people in his presence. He even insults and demeans his friends, particularly Deandra and Charlie, on a regular basis and never hesitates to draw attention to their flaws, shortcomings, and past failures. Both his friends and enemies refer to him as "a piece of shit". In response, Dennis usually smiles or laughs and rarely disagrees with their sentiment, seeming to be perfectly comfortable with being "a piece of shit". Dennis openly considers himself to be the epitome of physical attractiveness, but is actually very insecure about his looks. Although he is generally unfazed and often pleased by insults about his personality or nonphysical features, he is very sensitive to any negative remarks about his physical appearance. Any critique of his looks, however mild or trivial, deeply distresses Dennis and often leads him to extreme behavior. One time, Deandra counters Dennis' insults by claiming that he has a "fat face" which temporarily causes Dennis to become dangerously anorexic.
Exceedingly promiscuous, Dennis tends to easily gain the short-term favor of women. He's claimed that, in his sexual encounters, the words "no", "don't", and "stop" never stop him from following his intentions. It has been revealed that Dennis was once dismissed from a counselor position at a summer camp because he was accused of the statutory rape of an underage teenage girl, although he maintains he just kissed the girl, who was only a year younger than him. Members of The Gang comment on his attraction to teenage girls. Once, Dennis ended up being blackmailed by an eighteen-year-old high school senior into escorting her to her high school prom. Dennis also has a fascination with anonymous sex, even going so far as to install a glory hole in the men's room at Paddy's.
Dennis is also implied to have had a gay experience while blackout drunk when Mac, helping Sweet Dee get revenge, got Dennis drunk on tequila. Dennis shows a comprehensive understanding of the mechanics of gay relationships. He knows what it means to be a bear or a twink and understands how a "top" differs from a "bottom"; he explains to The Gang that "speed is the name of the game" when defining the role of a "power bottom." The possibly-ambiguous nature of his sexuality and gender identity has been explored and is usually connected to his vanity and need for peer approval.
Dennis' taste in music is primarily what Mac calls "early-eighties glam-rock femme-shit." Dennis is seen singing along with songs of Rick Astley on multiple occasions. Despite making less than $50 a week at the bar, Dennis' family's wealth enables him to wear stylish clothing and drive a Range Rover. He is the most educated of The Gang, having graduated from University of Pennsylvania. He mentions that he minored in psychology but failed to achieve his original ambition to become a veterinarian. He also has some artistic talent that he expresses by drawing cartoonish large-breasted women, which Charlie finds extremely enticing.
"Popping off" his shirt in inappropriate situations has become one of Dennis' main clichés. Dennis' delusional self-image influences him to believe that anyone would want to see him without his shirt and would be just as pleased as he is with what they see.
Dennis Reynold Quotes
"I feel like you sold me down the river. The Ghostbusters would never do something like that to each other."
"We need to go the library. At sorority houses you're going to find nothing but tramps and whores. We don't want wild girls. We want good girls gone wild. It's important to see the transition, watch the process."
"If Charlie took any time to study in school, he would recognize that the Constitution protects my freedom to blow smoke all over his face."
"Isn't that amazing? You ask to see a woman's breasts on the street, you get slapped. You give her a free t-shirt and videotape it and the clothes come right off."
"Hi. I'm a recovering crackhead, and this is my retarded sister I take care of. I'd like some welfare please."
"I don't want to hear about your dream, okay? I hate listening to people's dreams. It's like flipping through a stack of photographs. If I'm not in any of them, and nobody's having sex, I just... don't care."
"It's not that I get to pick and choose, it's that I'm a man and I'm strong. I can carry heavy things. You're a woman, you're weak and... you can't."
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