User:Sheling/Orzo Nacirema
Synopsis
Orzo Nacrima is the most unaccomplished PKer in the south-east of Malton - perhaps in the entire city itself.Though he has only been "in the trade" a scant few weeks, he has already shown a level of incompetence that would make a cowboy builder gasp with envy.
See also [The Orzo Nacrima Award].
Background
Orzo Nacrima is a petulant, psychotic and attention-deprived child who lacks planning skills, moral framework and a loving mother-figure. Indeed, it has been suggested that the player behind this endlessly unamusing character probably grew up in an orphanage on a diet of hard knocks and tough love. So attention-starved is he, the he has taken to sporadically PKing members of his formerly allied group, M.E.R.C.Y., in particular Sister Rita who is well-known locally for her patience, ability to be in the right place at the right time and her stalwart guidance of the humanitarian group and Ivy Young, who is just a child.
However, his plans to wreak havoc upon the group have been met with no small amount of failure, as he frequently neglects to bring enough ammunition to finish the job, and therefore must resort to stabbing inaccurately with a knife and genny-killing. Indeed, so well-known is Orzo as a really shoddy PKer that people jest about his inabilities on forums and carry spare generators and fuels in preparation for his next tantrum.
History
Originally a member of the Vinetown-based survivor group The Blackhawk Nation, Orzo "shocked" a small handful of people when he announced on the BHN forums:
"Games[sic] slowed down a lot, not much is happening anymore, and i[sic] hardly log on. Its[sic] been fun, good luck guys, going to hang up my BlackHawk Nation group tag and see if i[sic] can make the game alittle[sic] more fun before it finally dies out."
Not long after this poorly-typed resignation, his incompetent campaign of "terror" and generator destruction began:
Orzo Nacirema said "What the hell were you doing in my bag? I'll teach you to touch my stuff!!" Orzo Nacirema killed Ivy Young.
A Catalogue of Uncompromising Failure
Since the moment when Orzo decided to hang up his pro-survivor shoes and commit to making PKers city-wide look like incompetent children, the residents of Vinetown, especially members of MERCY and little Ivy Young have made every effort to remember to quake in their boots every time Orzo brings his terrifying might to bear on a passive generator or stabs someone with a knife for 2 damage. Indeed, this heroic and obviously misunderstood, disaffected miscreant retard seems to feel a sense of triumph in his poor taunts, slack grammar and basic vandalism:
Orzo Nacirema: Better tell that little girl to start running now, because if i even catch a glipse of her, i have ten little friends and they all move faster then her. (05-07 01:06 BST)
Current hypotheses hold that these "ten little friends" include the shift key, the inverted comma and a capital "i". More daring theorists have suggested that he may be under the assumption that "A dictionary is your friend" means that you don't need to read it; only hide out in abandoned buildings with it.
Orzo Nacirema destroyed the generator. Orzo Nacirema stabbed you with a knife for 2 damage. Orzo Nacirema said "You have a spy helping me amongst your ranks, Sister, i suggest you find who in MERCY doesn't agree with your leadership and be rid of them, although theyre information on you is quite handy." Mike Carson said "Dear Orzo. Some points." Mike Carson said "Firstly If you have a SPY helping you, why tell everyone?" Mike Carson said "Two. Your alledged spy is doing some sterling work. Finding the Sister in GELASIUS hospital? what are the chances." Mike Carson said "Thirdly, Its good to see you've stopped killing people, and started GK'ing. Run out of ammo have you? Lifes hard without friends isn't it?" Mike Carson said "Finally, a spy seriously? Heres a test. Ive posted a special word on MERCYs forum. What is it? Oh? You don't know? Amazing." Mike Carson said "But you're not here, to listen to this, are you? You've gone the way of all PK'ers, hiding in buildings, striking like a coward, at those who once helped you. Its always nice to prove you're a man." Mike Carson installed a generator in the building."
After this terrifying exchange, Orzo laid low for a day or two, though clearly he wasn't searching for bullets during that time for, the very next day...
Orzo Nacirema stabbed you with a knife for 2 damage.
Oh, eek...
A sad example of other Orzo's getting it wrong.
"Hiding" In Plain Sight
More astonishingly clever tactics have included Orzo's utter inability to find a decent safehouse or, indeed, to even leave the suburb where he maintains his "terrifying" hold.
He likes powered factories and warehouses, often to the north of Goodford Road Police Department, or just on the outskirts of Vinetown, in Pegton. In fact, those who are forced to witness this awful and repetitive slaughter of generators in north Vinetown are now starting to believe that it just can't be possible for one person to be quite so foolish as to hide in a neighbouring building, and therefore are now theorizing that either it's all part of some grand initiation plan to demonstrate his devil-may-care streak to actual PKers or - more likely - his mental acuity has been somehow compromised.
In the newest installment of the tale of Orzo's startling ineptitude is his in-game profile which now reads:
Revive me and you shall finish your life in eternal happiness. Ignore me and I shall haunt you for as long as you breathe.
Genius; two promises which cannot possibly be kept uttered in a tone that suggests puberty has been achieved.
In Conclusion; Award Status?
Orzo's campaign of terror and violence in Vinetown has, to date, only really been successful in one way; he has proved that he can take out a generator and then return several hours later to take out another one. However, in terms of being a fully fledged PKer, and therefore someone to avoid at all costs, Orzo fails rather miserably.
In fact, it can be said, that Orzo is the very worst PKer Vinetown and, in all likelihood, Malton has ever seen. And to this end, I propose that his ineptitude should be remembered and celebrated with the addition of a very special new tag; "The Orzo Nacrima Nomination", a statement of appreciation bestowed by survivors upon those who wish to PK, but can't quite figure it out.
Truly, I even suggest we, the survivors of Malton's outbreak, devote a little of our time to dedicating pages such as this to those lowly individuals who, out of spite and a lack of basic logic skills, wish to demonstrate their hatred, boredom and ire but who manage to cause nothing more than a few stab wounds and some power outs.
Freud would be proud of what these humble individuals have managed to achieve; their efforts should not pass unrecognised. Thus, with gratitude to Nitro378 who designed the graphic, I am delighted to nominate Orzo Nacrima for the inaugural Orzo Award!
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The Orzo Nacirema Award |
| sheling Has nominated Orzo Nacrima for the Orzo Nacirema Award, to commemorate their woeful ineptitude at PKing. But hey, keep trying! And remember, even if you succeed, you'll always be a loser in our eyes. |
Hoorah!
((The format and contents of this page have been saved so that any poorly-exectued sabotage attempts can be undone, and the glory of Orzo Nacrima's PK failings can continue to be commemerated and shared - as is only fair.))
Talk-Back
Have you witnessed one of Orzo's terrifying tantrums? Do you know of someone else worthy of an "Ozro"? Then why not let everyone know here! Please remember to add your name and location - feel free to add in-game quotes if you wish, but please limit image posting. Remember, there are lots of Orzo's out there, just dying for a little attention, so whether you're a survivor, a zombie or an actual PKer, spare a moment to make YOUR nomination on this page.
All the best, and happy gennie hunting,
--Sheling 19:21, 12 May 2008 (BST)
Yeah, I think I can make an award tag for you. I need something to do... --Nitro378 T JNL 17:53, 12 May 2008 (BST)
- its been a while since we had an award show. The Orzo's . I like it!--RosslessnessWant a Location Image? 18:01, 12 May 2008 (BST)
Quotes finally fixed, the rest of this initial discussion moved to "discussion" section - page officially finished! --Sheling 19:15, 12 May 2008 (BST)
