User:Simply J

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You have reached the User Page of Jeffminator of the Malton City Zookeepers


Thinkingmonkey.jpg Friend Of The Zoo
The Thinking Monkey brings luck to friends of the Malton City Zoo!
Noob.gif I'm Smarter
This user is smarter than you.
Steve.jpg R.I.P.
Steve Irwin

22 February 1962 – 4 September 2006

Button.gif No Nuclear Weapons for Zombies
This user or group believes that zombies are powerful enough already, thanks


Syringe.jpg Planned Revivification
This user or group supports
organized revivification.
Zlad.jpg Nifty
This user thinks that the word "nifty" is... well, pretty nifty.
RonBurgundyTemplate.jpg I'm Ron Burgundy?
This user isn't sure if he claims to be Ron Burgundy.
ErrorUgly.png Too Many Templates
This user puts way too many templates on their page.

What the Zoo is goin' on here??

Jeffminator first arrived in Malton in 04-APR-2006 as a member of the military. He was a recruit who stupidly signed up because he heard you could buy cool clothes at the military commissary for cheap. No one told Jeffminator at the time that he could've gotten the same benefits the easy way by just marrying a military woman.

Oh Well.

Jeffminator was quickly recruited to assist the government and military with the quarantine of Malton. One day while watching a zombie dressed in tatters shamble about, Jeffminator had an epiphany:

"How sad that the undead have to wear such dirty rags...Zombies might be less aggressive if they only had access to more clean & stylish clothes!"

He decided he could do more good on the inside than from the out. He grabbed his firearm, gear and several copies of GQ magazine and rappelled down from the city's containment wall into the desolate streets of Malton...determined to bring fashion to the fashion-less.

One day while on style patrol at one of the malls, Jeffminator came across a lion with a tape recorder taped to its back. The message was a recruiting tape asking citizens to support the city's only zoo and to join the The Malton Zookeepers. The rest is self-explanatory.


The Malton Zookeepers are dedicated to keeping the Malton City Zoo safe and looking after all of Malton's animal citizens. In the process we try not take Urban Dead too seriously.