William Grove
| William Grove
Pegton [83, 58]
Basic Info:
|
William Grove
Description
Outsiders to Pegton often mistakenly assume William Grove is a grove of trees, or a street, when in fact it is - or was - a person: Mr William Grove.
How does one describe Mr Grove? In a word: fat. Another word: fat. Need more detail? FAT FAT FAT.
This guy was a tub of lard, a fatass, a man-mountain, a bed-presser, horseback-breaker, a huge hill of flesh! No wonder he became a Pegton landmark in his own right.
History
William Grove was not always thus: a handsome, slim fellow in childhood, his steady diet of fried food, cigarettes and alcohol (popular among deprived nor'easterners) gradually took its toll on his body. His daily meals consisted of deep-fried Mars bars, battered saveloys, chips, fried eggs, fried bread with dripping, lardy cakes, several packets of chocolate digestives, at least 40 Lambert and Butler, numerous six-packs of Tennant's Extra Strength lager and a variety of supersized fast-food meals, his favourites being Roftwood Fried Chicken Family Buckets and McPegton's Happy Meals.
By his teens he was already overweight; by his 20s he was obese; by his 30s he had to have a special home constructed which took up the entire block, and included special screens so that sensitive sou'westerners need not be unduly disturbed by the sight of his pendulous fat-rolls (especially patrons on their way to the famous restaurant, L'Abattoir aux Quat' Saisons, who might have lost their appetites as a result).
Grove's similarly ample pets also became well-known across eastern Malton. Gog (the dog) and Magog (the cat) disappeared shortly after the Outbreak and are rumoured to still be at large, devouring corpses and being possibly the first zombie animals on record.
William Grove himself did not survive the first zombie attacks, although he did contribute to the defence of Pegton by satisfying an entire zombie horde all on his own, detaining scores of zombies for several days as they gorged themselves on his massive bulk.
