Dr. Schwan’s Essentials: Difference between revisions
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== | ==[[Image:A.s.egraphic.png|Dr. Schwan’s Essentials]]== | ||
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Dr. Schwan’s Essentials is a new product line developed by Whittenside’s own [[User:A.schwan|'''Dr. Albert Schwan''']]. The Essentials contains products for dashing danger seekers, radiant ransackers, and scientists in the know. Dr. Schwan is even rumored to be working on practical products for the walking dead. Based in Whittenside’s historic [[the Colglough Building]], Dr. Schwan launched his product line in February 2010 with the release of his patented Zombie Repellent Hair Tonic and followed it up with more product releases throughout the year. Building off the popularity of this flagship line, The Dr. later launced a line of culinary products ([[Dr. Schwan's Culinary]]) and a line of outbreak themed novelties ([[Dr. schwan’s Research and Development Team/The Doc’s Novelties|The Doc's Novelties]]) | Dr. Schwan’s Essentials is a new product line developed by Whittenside’s own [[User:A.schwan|'''Dr. Albert Schwan''']]. The Essentials contains products for dashing danger seekers, radiant ransackers, and scientists in the know. Dr. Schwan is even rumored to be working on practical products for the walking dead. Based in Whittenside’s historic [[the Colglough Building]], Dr. Schwan launched his product line in February 2010 with the release of his patented Zombie Repellent Hair Tonic and followed it up with more product releases throughout the year. Building off the popularity of this flagship line, The Dr. later launced a line of culinary products ([[Dr. Schwan's Culinary]]) and a line of outbreak themed novelties ([[Dr. schwan’s Research and Development Team/The Doc’s Novelties|The Doc's Novelties]]) | ||
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===<font size=5>Dr. Schwan’s Zombie Repellent Hair Tonic</font>=== | ===<font size=5>Dr. Schwan’s Zombie Repellent Hair Tonic</font>=== | ||
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Dr. Schwan’s Zombie Repellant Hair Tonic takes advantage of new breakthroughs in olfactory-microbiology, in particular the study of zombie pheromones. On his recent journeys through Malton, Dr. Schwan discovered that there is more to the rancid smell of an ordinary member of the undead hoard than rancid meat. I fact, there is something quite unique about the smell of a zombie. Further, he observed that zombies, for the most part, seem to hoard together, often traveling long distances to bash down a barricade en-masse. He became curious and set out to find out why. After numerous tests, Dr. Schwan discovered that zombies—though they are biologically dead—secrete a pheromone that attracts other zombies. By isolating and genetically modifying the gland responsible, he was able to create a pheromone that did exactly the opposite. As pleasant smelling as its attracting counterpart is foul, this pheromone repels zombies nonviolently. Thus was Dr. Schwan’s Zombie Repellent Hair Tonic born, allowing scientists to go about their work, military to do their duty, and civilians to continue being civil with a decreased chance of unwanted zombie attention. | Dr. Schwan’s Zombie Repellant Hair Tonic takes advantage of new breakthroughs in olfactory-microbiology, in particular the study of zombie pheromones. On his recent journeys through Malton, Dr. Schwan discovered that there is more to the rancid smell of an ordinary member of the undead hoard than rancid meat. I fact, there is something quite unique about the smell of a zombie. Further, he observed that zombies, for the most part, seem to hoard together, often traveling long distances to bash down a barricade en-masse. He became curious and set out to find out why. After numerous tests, Dr. Schwan discovered that zombies—though they are biologically dead—secrete a pheromone that attracts other zombies. By isolating and genetically modifying the gland responsible, he was able to create a pheromone that did exactly the opposite. As pleasant smelling as its attracting counterpart is foul, this pheromone repels zombies nonviolently. Thus was Dr. Schwan’s Zombie Repellent Hair Tonic born, allowing scientists to go about their work, military to do their duty, and civilians to continue being civil with a decreased chance of unwanted zombie attention. | ||
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<center>To order and use Dr. Schwan’s Zombie Repellent Hair Tonic simply copy the code for the following tag to your user page | |||
{{flagbox|Gray|A.s.egraphic.png|[[Dr. Schwan’s Essentials|Dr. Schwan's Essentials]]|This user proudly wears Dr. Schwan's patented Zombie Repellent Hair Tonic.}}</center> | |||
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To order and use Dr. Schwan’s Zombie Repellent Hair Tonic simply copy the code for the following tag to your user page | |||
{{flagbox|Gray|A.s.egraphic.png|[[Dr. Schwan’s Essentials|Dr. Schwan's Essentials]]|This user proudly wears Dr. Schwan's patented Zombie Repellent Hair Tonic.}} | |||
===<font size=5>Dr. Schwan’s Own Pre-Mortem Wrinkle Solution</font>=== | ===<font size=5>Dr. Schwan’s Own Pre-Mortem Wrinkle Solution</font>=== | ||
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All Necrotech employees are familiar with the peculiar way that the flesh of a zombie will quiver as the contents of the Necrotech syringe begin their slow molecular work. To Dr. Schwan this had always been a fascinating display of the inherent elasticity of the human biology. The commercial application of this process did not occur to him until, while performing a field revive on an older female survivor, he noticed that this noted biological perturbation caused the wrinkles in the zombified flesh of the woman smooth noticeably before the moment of revivification. If he could but isolate this effect, he could not only improve the features of his customers but reverse the damage that repeated zombification causes to the complexion. After repeated tests with sub-dermal applications performed on his own person, Dr. Schwan came across a solution that, while it did not have any effect on living tissue, remained dormant in the surfacet issue for up to 24 hours. With the assistance of a couple of research zombies, he eventually, discovered that it was possible to preventatively treat small portions of the anatomy to receive a partial revivification at the point of death. The face being the most marketable of the affected areas, The DR’s Own Pre-Mortem Wrinkle Solution was the obvious result. | All Necrotech employees are familiar with the peculiar way that the flesh of a zombie will quiver as the contents of the Necrotech syringe begin their slow molecular work. To Dr. Schwan this had always been a fascinating display of the inherent elasticity of the human biology. The commercial application of this process did not occur to him until, while performing a field revive on an older female survivor, he noticed that this noted biological perturbation caused the wrinkles in the zombified flesh of the woman smooth noticeably before the moment of revivification. If he could but isolate this effect, he could not only improve the features of his customers but reverse the damage that repeated zombification causes to the complexion. After repeated tests with sub-dermal applications performed on his own person, Dr. Schwan came across a solution that, while it did not have any effect on living tissue, remained dormant in the surfacet issue for up to 24 hours. With the assistance of a couple of research zombies, he eventually, discovered that it was possible to preventatively treat small portions of the anatomy to receive a partial revivification at the point of death. The face being the most marketable of the affected areas, The DR’s Own Pre-Mortem Wrinkle Solution was the obvious result. | ||
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<center>To order and use Dr. Schwan’s Own Pre-Mortem Wrinkle Solution simply copy the code for the following tag to your user page | |||
{{flagbox|Gray|A.s.egraphic.png|[[Dr. Schwan’s Essentials|Dr. Schwan's Essentials]]|This user discretely benifts from Dr.Schwan's Pre-Mortem Wrinkle Solution.}}</center> | |||
<br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br> | |||
To order and use Dr. Schwan’s Own Pre-Mortem Wrinkle Solution simply copy the code for the following tag to your user page | |||
{{flagbox|Gray|A.s.egraphic.png|[[Dr. Schwan’s Essentials|Dr. Schwan's Essentials]]|This user discretely benifts from Dr.Schwan's Pre-Mortem Wrinkle Solution.}} | |||
===<font size=5>Dr. Schwan Brand Optical Paralytic</font>=== | ===<font size=5>Dr. Schwan Brand Optical Paralytic</font>=== | ||
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It is a little known fact outside of the Necrotech inner sanctum that the reason for the frequent narcoleptic attacks that plague all of the inhabitants of Malton, is a chemical agent embedded in the rot virus itself. This agent, in its earlier stages is responsible for the potent variety of rigor mortis in many zombies who died in the early outbreaks as well as their decreased land speed. As this agent takes over, the cellular tissue seizes up, requiring a tenfold greater effort on the part of the infected person to accomplish the simple task of standing up. As the quarantine whore on, many zombies began to develop a limited immunity to the paralytic agent, allowing them to move faster and recover their footing more easily following physical trauma. Alternately, the survival of the rot virus over these last few years has allowed this agent to seep into the soil and groundwater, effectively infecting every living organism within the quarantine zone, causing narcoleptic fits that overtake survivors in mid action, leaving them stranded on the street or frozen in the act of repairing a building. | It is a little known fact outside of the Necrotech inner sanctum that the reason for the frequent narcoleptic attacks that plague all of the inhabitants of Malton, is a chemical agent embedded in the rot virus itself. This agent, in its earlier stages is responsible for the potent variety of rigor mortis in many zombies who died in the early outbreaks as well as their decreased land speed. As this agent takes over, the cellular tissue seizes up, requiring a tenfold greater effort on the part of the infected person to accomplish the simple task of standing up. As the quarantine whore on, many zombies began to develop a limited immunity to the paralytic agent, allowing them to move faster and recover their footing more easily following physical trauma. Alternately, the survival of the rot virus over these last few years has allowed this agent to seep into the soil and groundwater, effectively infecting every living organism within the quarantine zone, causing narcoleptic fits that overtake survivors in mid action, leaving them stranded on the street or frozen in the act of repairing a building. | ||
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Isolating the compound, the doctor set to work on developing it for human use but soon discovered that—owing to the top-heavy and unbalanced nature of bipedal locomotion—the effect observed in the cat could not be reproduced in human test subjects. He could, however, use the distilled toxin to cause paralysis in any area with exposed blood vessels: like the eyes and eyelids. Beyond the obvious, Dr. Schwan leaves the further applications of this product to the customer as he proudly presents Dr. Schwan Brand Optical Paralytic. | Isolating the compound, the doctor set to work on developing it for human use but soon discovered that—owing to the top-heavy and unbalanced nature of bipedal locomotion—the effect observed in the cat could not be reproduced in human test subjects. He could, however, use the distilled toxin to cause paralysis in any area with exposed blood vessels: like the eyes and eyelids. Beyond the obvious, Dr. Schwan leaves the further applications of this product to the customer as he proudly presents Dr. Schwan Brand Optical Paralytic. | ||
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<center>To order and use Dr. Schwan Brand Optical Paralytic simply copy the code for the following tag to your user page | |||
{{flagbox|Gray|A.s.egraphic.png|[[Dr. Schwan’s Essentials|Dr. Schwan's Essentials]]|Is this user out of AP? You will never know thanks to Dr. Schwan Brand Optical Paralytic Eyedrops.}}</center> | |||
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===<font size=5>Rotalin</font>=== | |||
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In scientific terms, Rotalin is a chemical combination of modified Rot Virus solution and methylphenidate hydrochloride packaged in a Necrotech intravenous delivery system with a DNA template that prioritizes the regions of the brain responsible for the production of dopamine and noradrenaline. It functions by systematically revivifying those portions of the brain with a sustaining dose of modified Rot Virus, and stimulating them with the methylphenidate hydrochloride into producing heightened quantities of the aforementioned chemicals in order to increase focus and attention span. The subject is better able to drive off the frenzy and bloodlust associated with zombification, finds it easier to reason, and can deal rationally with others. | In scientific terms, Rotalin is a chemical combination of modified Rot Virus solution and methylphenidate hydrochloride packaged in a Necrotech intravenous delivery system with a DNA template that prioritizes the regions of the brain responsible for the production of dopamine and noradrenaline. It functions by systematically revivifying those portions of the brain with a sustaining dose of modified Rot Virus, and stimulating them with the methylphenidate hydrochloride into producing heightened quantities of the aforementioned chemicals in order to increase focus and attention span. The subject is better able to drive off the frenzy and bloodlust associated with zombification, finds it easier to reason, and can deal rationally with others. | ||
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Rotalin: bringing new purpose to Malton and keeping you on the task at hand…through science. | Rotalin: bringing new purpose to Malton and keeping you on the task at hand…through science. | ||
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<center>To order and use Dr. Schwan's Rotalin simply copy the code for the following tag to your user page | |||
{{flagbox|Gray|A.s.egraphic.png|[[Dr. Schwan’s Essentials|Dr. Schwan's Essentials]]|This user believes that life-cultists are not necessarily terrible role-players. That's why they responsibly use Dr. Schwan's patented Rotalin formula.}}</center> | |||
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===<font size=5>Schwan Brand HARMAN-izing solution</font>=== | |||
===Schwan Brand HARMAN-izing solution=== | |||
{{Udspan|You hear a low groan coming from within the building…and again…and again…}}<br> | |||
{{Udspan|The groans become…a musical number?!?}}<br><br> | |||
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Dr. Schwan stood by a third story window in [[the Needs Building]] and watched as a gentle snowfall began to cover [[Wyke Hills]]. As the snow picked up, several flakes began to stick to the window, shimmering in the light of the red Christmas lights. The building was warm and festive, having been powered and decorated by local survivors in honor of the time of year, and the sounds of carolers echoed up the stairwell from the lobby below. Turning from the window, he was surprised to see a zombie standing in the doorway of the office. Surprised, he prepared an NT syringe when he noticed the slightly offended look on what remained of the zombie’s face. <br> | Dr. Schwan stood by a third story window in [[the Needs Building]] and watched as a gentle snowfall began to cover [[Wyke Hills]]. As the snow picked up, several flakes began to stick to the window, shimmering in the light of the red Christmas lights. The building was warm and festive, having been powered and decorated by local survivors in honor of the time of year, and the sounds of carolers echoed up the stairwell from the lobby below. Turning from the window, he was surprised to see a zombie standing in the doorway of the office. Surprised, he prepared an NT syringe when he noticed the slightly offended look on what remained of the zombie’s face. <br> | ||
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Working from the original test data with the help of his team, Dr. Schwan added some flavoring additives, a few topical catalysts, and fine tuned the dosage to create a product very similar to the vocal spray used by professional singers. One dose partially revivifies the inner mouth and vocal cords allowing zombies to produce phonological sounds and reach octaves usually impossible in their undead state. The resultant effect allows the zombie to more effectively communicate, sing, and even harmonize with other zombies through the administration of different doses to achieve different vocal ranges. | Working from the original test data with the help of his team, Dr. Schwan added some flavoring additives, a few topical catalysts, and fine tuned the dosage to create a product very similar to the vocal spray used by professional singers. One dose partially revivifies the inner mouth and vocal cords allowing zombies to produce phonological sounds and reach octaves usually impossible in their undead state. The resultant effect allows the zombie to more effectively communicate, sing, and even harmonize with other zombies through the administration of different doses to achieve different vocal ranges. | ||
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<center>To order and use Schwan Brand HARMAN-izing solution simply copy the code for the following tag to your user page | |||
{{flagbox|Gray|A.s.egraphic.png|[[Dr. Schwan’s Essentials|Dr. Schwan's Essentials]]|This user is a vocal virtuoso, even in zombie form thanks to Schwan Brand HARMAN-izing solution.}}</center> | |||
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To order and use Schwan Brand HARMAN-izing solution simply copy the code for the following tag to your user page | |||
{{flagbox|Gray|A.s.egraphic.png|[[Dr. Schwan’s Essentials|Dr. Schwan's Essentials]]|This user is a vocal virtuoso, even in zombie form thanks to Schwan Brand HARMAN-izing solution.}} | |||
==Other Products and Services== | ==Other Products and Services== | ||
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[[Category:Fiction]] | [[Category:Fiction]] | ||
[[Category:Dr. schwan’s Research and Development Team]] | |||
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Latest revision as of 09:19, 17 July 2014
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