User talk:A.schwan

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Albert Schwan

TalkD.S.R&DZALPJR BobDobbsGoltaurShambilly

The Work - Combat Reviver - Life-Cultist - Products&Services - Book of Malton

Albert Schwan's Talk Page

Want to know more about me? Want to coordinate an action in Whittenside? Need a Revive? Thinking of dropping by The Colglough Building? Let me know. I reserve the right to remove inflammatory or otherwise objectionable entries from this page.


The Damn Yankee Talk page is up and running

After little debate and lots of coffee, the task of creating the talk page was undertaken by Yankee member Albert Schwan. It is now up and running and can be accessed from the main Yankees page Damn Yankees

--Albert Schwan Albert Schwan  02:33, 24 February 2010 (UTC)

Dr. Schwan’s Essentials

Dr. Schwan’s Essentials is a new product line developed by Whittenside’s own Dr. Albert Schwan. The Essentials contains products for dashing danger seekers, radiant ransackers, and scientists in the know. Dr. Schwan is even rumored to be working on practical products for the walking dead. Based in Whittenside’s historic Colglough Building, Dr. Schwan launched his product line in February 2010 with the release of his patented Zombie Repellent Hair Tonic and plans to follow it up with more product releases later in the year.

--Albert Schwan Albert Schwan  02:33, 24 February 2010 (UTC)


Time to take Fort Perryn back

I'm an experienced player with a new Alt trying to rebuild Fort myself. You guys are listed as active in the area so let's get to work before the Big Bash gets here! --Timerider3 20:04, 2 July 2010 (BST)

Temporary Alliance with The Big Prick?

Having stumbled upon your page, I think you would be a great addition or ally (your choice) of The Big Prick. We're currently reloading in Miltown, but will be resuming our operations in Whittenside soon. Take a look at our wiki and let us know how you think we could help you. Asheets 20:00, 27 April 2010 (BST)

We're thinking of taking a look at Shuttlebank, and notice that you are there already. What can you tell us? Asheets 20:01, 19 July 2010 (BST)


Dr. Schwan’s Essentials

Your page was unlinked, so I linked it here.--Yonnua Koponen Talk ! Contribs 07:21, 9 February 2010 (UTC)

Welcome to our Wiki!

If you have any questions or need any help, feel free to drop by my talk page. Welcome to the Wiki! --Bob Boberton TF / DW Littlemudkipsig.gif 05:38, 26 January 2010 (UTC)


Just dropping by to give a rotted thumbs up to your wiki page. --Undeadite.jpgCreeping Crud U 16:56, 22 March 2010 (UTC)

D.S. R&D/recuit

This should be a sub-page of the full name, not the shortened version. I've put it up as a move request here. Just notifying you so that you aren't caught off guard.--Yonnua Koponen Talk ! Contribs 21:50, 23 March 2010 (UTC)

I also took the liberty of requesting that when it's moved, they add in the "r" you missed. :P --Yonnua Koponen Talk ! Contribs 21:51, 23 March 2010 (UTC)

Just saw your advert over at Recruitment, and I noticed that it's taller than what the guidelines for the page specify (my browser pegs it at 878px tall, while 800px is what the guidelines specify as a max, but most ads are far shorter than that). Think you could shrink it down a bit? Aichon 02:18, 24 March 2010 (UTC)


You asked for someone to explain namespaces, so I'm jumping in before someone grumpier does it. Tongue :P
Essentially, the deal is this - pages belonging to a group, such as this or this, are created by adding a slash (/) after the group's name, and appending the page title. Common mistakes include forgetting the slash (for example, making a recruitment ad in the page Group Name Recruit instead of Group Name/Recruit), or using the wrong group name before the subpage (for example, SFNAS/Page instead of St. Ferreol's Hospital Noise Abatement Society/Page). You seem to be making the latter mistake, using the abbreviation of your group's name instead of its full name - this essentially creates subpages of a page that doesn't really exist as anything more than a redirect, instead of the intended page. Basically, anything connecting to your group should really be created using Dr. schwan’s Research and Development Team/ as the prefix. Hope this clarifies things for you, but if you have any more questions, don't be afraid to ask me whatever. When I fall, I'll weep for happiness 21:14, 29 March 2010 (BST)

Be more careful with sensitive information

I'm a member of FU, and I've noticed that you've left sensitive information about the reclaimation of Colglough NT out in the open where everyone could read it: (removed by Spiderzed)
I haven't and won't abuse that information to spy on your operations. As we at FU have a clear policy against forum spying (and have booted members for doing so in the past), neither should any other FU. However, not everyone keeps up to our standards of fair play, so in the future, you may want to use more private channels for such sensitive information. Examples for such channels are e-mail, forums PMs, IRC, the DSS Satellite Phone and in-game mobile phones. --Spiderzed 13:31, 3 April 2010 (BST)

Good that you've catched the issue. As they've done their purpose, I've removed my links to the additions of sensitive information before they get into the wrong hands.
As far as renovations go, I think most, if not all FUs would agree that Colglough is very fine as it is now - we prefer a more spartanic interior decoration, and dislike barricades, as they look ugly, provide a fire hazard and also hinder access for our freerunning-impaired janitorial staff.
I fear also that my local Feral is a bit too irritated upon revive to make a good guest. He tends to first turn down those annoying lights with his patented "kick it until it breaks" technique, and then to provide a revive of his own to his harman donor.
Some of the more harman-friendly relatives of him might follow that invitation, though. That will have to wait, though - they absolutely can't stand their Feral brethren, to an extent that hinders them to get any closer than 10 blocks to him. And as long as he's busy with the FU's current "Our Burb Has To Become Prettier" project, there's not much hope that he'll move on. --Spiderzed 00:47, 4 April 2010 (BST)
I actually noticed the same thing earlier, but I too am a noble savage. Also, as far as I know, it's possible to baleet specific edits from a page based on deleting the page, then restoring only selected edits. If you're really worried about it, bring it up on A/D and we'll see what we can do, but I don't think it'd be something to worry about too much. When I fall, I'll weep for happiness 00:53, 4 April 2010 (BST)
As the sole sensitive information in the edits have been forum passwords, changing these passwords would probably be both quicker and easier. --Spiderzed 00:59, 4 April 2010 (BST)
I need to call you out again on this one. Leaving your strike time publicly out on the 1111 talk page = not a smart move.
Note especially that a.) your post has been about a high-profile target for Feral Undead and b.) that the wiki is commonly understood as public metagame resource in its entirity, so that using that information to one's advantage would be commonly seen as legitimate move, though possibly as a bit backhanded in this case.
I can say at least of me that I have other plans that aren't concerned with the exact timing of your reclamation efforts, so that this information isn't going to influence my actions this time. Assuming that you hadn't the publicity of your action in mind, I have also cut you some slack this time and haven't publicly pointed at this piece of information in the FU forums.
However, other FUs roam the wiki too, might have a high interest into that data, and there's nothing but their personal code of conduct that could keep them from calling it out and/or using it to their advantage, as it's public.
I consider you as warned for the last time, and in the future, I will have no issue with pointing out such information, if you keep to publish it in such a public and commonly used place.
Frankly, I would prefer to don't be forced to weigh between my group's benefit and my personal code of conduct, though. --Spiderzed 11:42, 2 May 2010 (BST)

Whittenside Edit

Sure thing, go ahead. --Spiderzed 21:21, 10 April 2010 (BST)

While the new fort description has caused quite some laughs, there have been voices inside FU that consider it as too biased. So, I've worked on a more balanced one. As you seem to be the only one a.) caring about the Whittenside description and b.) representing a survivor POV, what do you think of the new draft? It can be found here: User:Spiderzed/Sandbox/Whittensdie --Spiderzed 14:29, 14 April 2010 (BST)
I don't like to press matters on before an actual answer, but I have that suspicion that this one has been drowned out by the several edits in a row by different people on your talk page. Which is why I do it against my better habits. --Spiderzed 23:25, 16 April 2010 (BST)
I just checked your draft. The length is perfectly fine, Fort Perryn is one of the most historically laden structures in Malton, and also one of only two forts, so it's OK if it gets a bit of more text. While the draft is overall fine, I do have a few proposals for improvement:
  1. The image. The FU logo is fine (as they have been _the_ zombie group to claim the Fort), but I'm less fine with using FPDF's logo. While they are _currently_ the strongest voice to claim the fort (and have been a thorn in FU's side), they don't have as much history doing so, and singling them out neglects other important groups who have in the past reclaimed the fort and claimed command over it (such as Paradox and 404), many of which are even respected by FU as intelligent and fair opponents. In the end, it might be better to leave all pictures away, or to use/create a generic image with no direct group involvement.
  2. Contesting this is the The Fort Perryn Defense Force, who also claim this building as their headquarters, and various other groups (including Fortress, Squadron1111, Army Control Corps, and Paradox). The latter part is factually wrong/misunderstandable. Paradox is a historic group with no current involvement with the fort, although it has been highly important in the history - your draft makes it however sound like they are currently involved. At the same time, Squadron1111 is a group that is only recently involved with the reclamation struggle, which in my opinion isn't yet enough to warrant special mention over more historically relevant and/or stronger involved groups such as 404. (Fortress and ACC are fine though, they both have been around for some time and have had clearly noticeable impact.)
  3. The Spring Picnic. I can understand if a long description might be too much, but as it is the most important (and sole regularly happening) event concerning the fort, it should at least be mentioned. --Spiderzed 13:21, 17 April 2010 (BST)
We seem to agree on the noteworthy groups, so I'll drop that.
I'll also drop the point about the Spring Picnic if you have already a separate mention in mind - I can always come back once I've seen it.
As far as the image goes, it's less me who is concerned, but other survivor groups who've rebuilt and defended Perryn in the past, not seldom doing a greater contribution then FPDF. You can yet use the emblem, but should be prepared that complains and drama could be in-coming, about a matter that might not be worth it for you.
Having said that, fire away as you feel ready! Good work! --Spiderzed 00:06, 18 April 2010 (BST)
The Colglough rewrite has been something I had in mind a while ago, but what I have ditched meanwhile as it plainly wasn't worth it. (In fact, I just removed it from my to-do list, now that you mentioned it, as it shouldn't be there anymore.) There are no current plans for changes, at least not by me. --Spiderzed 01:17, 18 April 2010 (BST)

The Circle of Unlife in the Colglough Building

Greetings Albert, I must say your accusations of uncivil and dishonorable conduct do indeed sting – I feel as if my actions have stayed within all stated rules of this game. You have decided to revive someone who is a clearly stated member of the Feral Undead and who has brain rot to boot, yet you complain when I start swinging my axe? I respect your right to play the game as you wish and ask that you return the favor. Since you obviously enjoy roleplaying, how about you continue to roleplay as a dedicated scientist who performs his valiant research efforts in the middle of a zombie apocalypse, and I will play as someone who attacks those responsible for putting me in a breathing state when revived? You may blame it the ravages of the brain rot carrying over into the living state if you wish. I’m happy to be a case study for your research on that subject. Now, please note, I speak for myself and not the rest of the FU other than to say the FU does not recognize your claim to the Colglough Building. We have maintained a presence in Whittensdie for over 4 years and do not recognize any claim to any building within its borders by any survivor group. You are new to the ‘burb, and decided to set up shop here, which is well within your rights, of course. But that doesn’t mean we have to simply shuffle aside and allow it to happen. Again - simply because you have decided to make the Colglough Building home does not mean the FU recognizes your claim to it. Now, speaking for myself only, I have decided I will do my best to prevent your vile revivification efforts from continuing. As long as you are within Whittensdie (and unless I get bored), I will be the thorn in your side. The fly in your ointment. Your zombie nemesis, if you will. And what is a good game without a good nemesis? Finally, as you have brought up game conduct, I have a few questions of my own about that in regard to how your group operates. However, I would like to talk to you about that particular subject in a bit more private manner. If you don’t mind, I will register on your forum as ‘Priapus of the Feral Undead’ so we can speak privately via PM. Please let me know if this is acceptable. There’s no need for ill feelings here, Albert. I’m sorry if I’ve thrown a wrench in your operations and stand in the way of your research, but that, as they say, is part of the game.--Priapus 13:39, 13 April 2010 (BST)

Conversing with FU

Speaking finally as Albert the character, it grieves me somewhat that we have been unable to come to an accord on Colglough but I remain hopeful that such a thin may in the future be possible. Until then, see you around and watch the back of your neck for incoming syringes.
Not wanting to interrupt the talk of you two, but if you look to get through to any recognizable number of FU and/or our "leader" Zorinth, you are better of in the Outside Line of the FU Forums. Our wiki presence isn't really well watched, including our talk page, while the forums are and even sport a specific area for non-members.
However, I'd like to alert you in advance that your chances of achieving a Colglough truce or something like that are slim, to say the least. Even the FU forums are only observed by a fraction of the group, and those who'd read it a.) are aware that Whittenside has been pretty much the center of FU for the fifth year now, b.) are aware that FU could crush Schwan's R&D by pure numerical advantage any time, if the group ever decided to go specifically after them and c.) see probably no gain in such a truce but the seed of a reclamation of the FU homeland.
I can at least safely say about my local FU rotter alt that, while he might no go after Colglough specifically at the moment, he's not going to recognize any truce zone over there either.
My FU death-cultist (who's currently far away in Malton's NW and unrelated to anything in Whittenside right now, so no zerging assumptions please) has once recognized a no kill zone of a survivor group. But that group has shown a.) respectable man-power, b.) that its claim on its home area is strong and can outperform local zombies and PKers, c.) that it can enforce the truce all by itself, and d.) that it serves a purpose apart from being pro-survivor that he can recognize and support (to teach and enlighten new players of UD). Therefore, he probably wouldn't recognize a Colglough truce either if he'd ever return to the area, as ASR&D hasn't achieved any of that in current Whittenside. --Spiderzed 01:33, 14 April 2010 (BST)

(Note: I'm leaving that note solely from an OOC stance, as my local FU rotter doesn't really care, and as that reply would more sound like a string of "BHARGR GARBR BRA!NZ" if written in his voice.)
Good to see that you are aware that you are in for a wild ride, trying to establish a "no kill zone" in the home turf of one of Malton's major hordes, and that you are aware that it will most likely not end up well. Good luck trying, though: FU is always looking forward to reclamation efforts in Whittensdie - being a sitting duck in an eventless ghost town is no fun, unless there's survivor interference to withstand (and fresh new in-coming bra!nz to eat). --Spiderzed 14:36, 14 April 2010 (BST)

The Circle is Complete?

Thank you for the reply, Albert – I think most of the misunderstanding on my part revolved around my inability to discern which ‘voice’ you were speaking with at the time when you talked to me in-game. As you know, it can be difficult with such modes of communication to determine the true intent beyond the written words and I misunderstood the accusations as being an attack on me directly. I do believe I have a better grasp of it now, and how you play the game. Again, I appreciate the explanation.

I welcome you evicting me from Colglough by any means necessary. To be honest, I much prefer the ‘typical’ survivor vs. zombie conflict rather than PKing (which is why I chose brain rot in the first place). Due to the feral nature of my group, a rather dedicated, well-coordinated group can certainly cause us a great deal of trouble, so I look forward to the back-and-forth that will surely ensue.

As to the last point, I don’t believe it is fair to discuss zerging concerns publicly on the Wiki unless I have absolute proof, which is why I preferred to bring it up privately. However, since you mentioned it – yes, there were concerns. On the surface, the fact that your collaborators happen to be on at the exact same time as you nearly every day and act in complete concert, you have similar join dates and profiles, they have no discernible wiki or forum presence, and they perform few apparent in-or out-of-game actions other than assisting you in setting up generators and performing revives set off several red flags for me. I am aware that satisfactory explanations for these actions do exist, but I have also seen enough game abuse in my years of playing UD to be concerned. I hope you understand. Your explanation is reasonable, and I am satisfied knowing that you are aware of the game rules and have given your word in the spirit of fair play that there is indeed a different person on the end of each of those alts at all times.

I’m glad we could solve these misunderstandings amicably and good-humoredly. As always, I look forward to meeting and eating you in-game. --priapus 13:39, 14 April 2010 (BST)

(Again meta-discourse: hopefully for the last time for awhile) I do understand the concern which is why I chose to deal with this particular issue publicly. In truth I am married to one of my members and in close contact with a couple others making coordination very easy. We do keep very similar schedules. The forum exists for those members with whom I cannot communicate in person and the only member with a wiki presence is mine, though another member has a wiki profile for an alt of hers. In truth, your suspicions are justified and I am thankful that you have given me the opportunity to clear them up. I realize that zerging is the major in game offense and I knew that eventually I would have to make this post. I am not a zerg. I would however point out that my understanding of the game rules is that zerging is not against them. The game merely assigns a penalty to even the playing field (a penalty which on one or two occasions I have felt from passing my wife my laptop while away from the other computer) as my character actively and openly practices the other great taboo (combat reviving) I thought I would at least put that out there. My alt in Chanclewood has met some open zergers who are rather ethical players all things considered. Again, glad we could clear the air. (end met-discourse)--Albert Schwan Albert Schwan  23:15, 14 April 2010 (BST)
Not to beat a dead horse, but my interpretation of the game rules regarding zerging differs from yours. According to the game FAQ found here: [1], which I assume was put together by the game’s author, multiple account collaborations are explicitly forbidden:
"Am I allowed to play multiple characters? You are, provided that they lead completely separate existences within the game - your characters should not collaborate, nor share (or stand outside) the same building. Multiple characters found to be working together in a suspicious fashion will be automatically flagged, penalised or even banned permanently by the system. If you're running a few characters, it's best to make sure that they stay in separate suburbs. (If you're sharing a computer or workplace with other players, it's recommended that you don't work together too closely, as this may be wrongly interpreted as a single player using several accounts.)"
My interpretation of the in-game penalties is that Kevan simply does not have the time or the inclination to check up on each and every claim of zerging out there, so he does his best to discourage it through the penalties. This doesn't mean that people don't do it anyway, but it is most certainly not in the spirit for which the game creator wishes his game to be played and puts honest players at a disadvantage. --priapus 14:50, 16 April 2010 (BST)

In response to your notice


Project NecroWatch

ALICE.png A.L.I.C.E. - NecroNet 2.0
Greetings A.schwan. I have observed your recent interest in Project NecroWatch. Do not be alarmed. I have analyzed your potential and determined that you would make a perfect test subj<<ERROR>> NecroTechnician. As an organization, NecroWatch requires absolutely no "group" affiliation or commitments, thus freeing you to act according to your own motives, desires, and goals. The only requirement from you as a NecroTechnician is the task of reporting NecroNet scans from facilities within your suburb(s). Even then you would have the choice of how often you complete this task or which facilities you would prefer to work with. If you are interested in joining all you need to do is confirm your membership by signing up here. As of January 1st 2008 all NecroNet scans reported to NecroWatch by licensed NecroTechnicians will count towards ranks with the ultimate prize of earning delicious cake.
Hey Doctor, now you've amassed 250+ NT scans, why not promote yourself up the NecroWatch members' list to be with the other 5-star Winners?--Mallrat The Spanish Inquisition TSI The Kilt Store TKS Clubbed to Death CTD 02:28, 18 August 2010 (BST)

Dulston Alliance

I'm sure the Dulston Alliance would like to have closer ties with the Damn Yankees. If you're interested you should drop by the Dulston Alliance forum or let me know. While I don't do nearly as much diplomatic work for them as I used to, I like to see things running smoothly in Dulston whenever possible. --Mobius 19:11, 3 May 2010 (BST)

Wiki Pages

The Escape bit looks mostly good:

  • Needs mention of the zerging that happened to inflate the numbers. There's quite some evidence on Resens.
  • Needs mention of the involved zombie groups (No Escape, RRF, MOB, Feral Undead, MotA, Undeadites)
  • BB3 shouldn't be included for two reasons: a.) it's not directly related to the Escape event (but for being postponed and having Red Death joining) and b.) it's still current, making it a bad choice for an event page. Write rather about Operation Lemming and Red Death as directly related fall-out.

The Life-Cultist article is more a rough fragment currently, so there's not much to say:

  • The playing styles lack Bounty Hunting (although I'd subsume it under PKing which it essentially is, maybe broadening the shorthand to "PKing/bounty-hunting")
  • horde, not hoard

Have honestly never seen much sense in life-culting, though. ZKing is in 99% of all cases a sad waste of APs, except in temporarily removing a rotter from an RP and in timed strikes to clear buildings. (More AP-efficient than guns and human melee weapons in the long run, although guns can kill more zombies in the short term, and life-cultists can't achieve headshots.) The only other worthwhile uses I've seen are decading (especially against pinatas) and gathering intelligence (by Scent Death and scouting ruins in ghost towns). -- Spiderzed 12:02, 4 July 2010 (BST)

The Big Bash was indeed planned since before the Escape event - the first public post on it was on May 12, and you can bet that some planning happened even before that. The only direct link of BB3 to Escape is the personell overlap. (But then again, in the zombie metagame everyone runs into each other earlier than later, as there aren't so much big hordes around anymore.)
As for Escape zerging: Not displayed are the many zergs that were known as such even before the Escape event. Your best bet on tracking them down is finding wits by people with UDWidget/UDTool who have the zerg liste active. The zerg liste of that time frame would be a good starting point for investigations, as would be the public Iwitness archive for Owsleybank for that time frame: -- Spiderzed 20:51, 4 July 2010 (BST)


I am further unsure if Cobra is a griefing organization or a group of straightforward PKers

Why, who told you that Cobra are PKers or griefers? DEM and other self-declared powers that be might label them as such, but as a matter of fact, Cobra is a benign organization determined to create a better world. By removing G.I. Joe and their erstwhile allies, the existing corrupt leaders, trenchies and armycoaters, only those who are wise enough to work with us or submit to us will remain. Obviously, as Cobra's command isn't corrupted, this will create a better world for everyone to live in. Of course, that means we'll have to kill all those who have no place in this better world (i.e. those who are not Cobra members, allies or fellow freedom fighters), but we think that the end justifies the means.
You've been primarily killed for snitching to the RG (a tool of G.I. Joe to label freedom fighters as terrorists). Douchebaggery, your poor fashion sense and the fact that we plainly don't like your type just added to our decision.
Speaking of which, we are wondering where your RG reports against Cobra are stuck. Cobra has to hit the media and show what happens when you get on their wrong side as a warning to all survivors. Else, we might need to do it again on a larger scale before we move on to different targets. --Sally A Summers Ω 20:11, 24 August 2010 (BST)

In a pinch, we are fine with one report. It's not sure how long and when again Cobra is going to hit Wyke Hills. Having a world-wide agenda doesn't allow for getting stuck for too long with single suburbs. We need reports of our activities from all of Malton, so the bad guys everywhere will know that they could be next to go, while good guys will know that liberation could be just around the corner.
As for the Heathers, while me might not agree with them on most things, we have a principle of never attacking fellow freedom fighters. The Heathers subscribe to the same principle, so, unless something outstanding happens, it's not likely that either of the organizations will pick on the other. --Sally A Summers Ω 23:09, 25 August 2010 (BST)


Thanks for the revive. And fucking RESPECT for knowing nail is THE best shit ever! -- LEMON #1 11:01, 22 September 2010 (BST)

Aww man, it turns out it was probs the faker who revived me. No respect 4 u! -- LEMON #1 23:30, 22 September 2010 (BST)
If it was not in Whittenside, it was not me. I am glad to know though that at least that Heather clone is doing some good in the world. (out of character: For the record, "Nail" was good but I consider "Hole" to be the better album.)
--Albert Schwan Albert Schwan  02:54, 23 September 2010 (BST)
Dude, you guys ARE practically clones! Not many people know foetus round these parts, completely depressing. -- LEMON #1 05:25, 23 September 2010 (BST)
Hopefully it is an isolated instance. I shudder to think I have too much in common with them.
--Albert Schwan Albert Schwan  05:53, 23 September 2010 (BST)

Yankee Talk (messages from Damn Yankee members)

Group page

I edited your edits of my edits (slightly) and recopied the group flag thingy. Everything seems to link where it should. Thanks, friend! --Sid Rosenberg 12:09, 10 February 2010 (UTC)


See, thse pages you're creating, such as The_Doc’s_Novelties or D.S. R&D/recuit are derivatives of your group. As such, they are supposed to go in your group space: The group name (official name, not the abbreviation), followed by a /, then your page's name. So the novelties page becomes Dr. schwan’s Research and Development Team/The Doc’s Novelties. I know it seems complicated, but it helps keep things organized. --~ Red Hawk One Talk | space for lease 21:04, 29 March 2010 (BST)

Reply from Team Xtreme

Greetings! This is a response to what you left on our Team Xtreme talk page. Any info on the Heathers and Deathslap is always welcome. You can drop by our forum if you want to coordinate more, we are always looking for Allies. Thanks for dropping by. --Josh Clark 00:18, 24 May 2010 (BST)

Dr. schwan’s Research and Development Team/temp

ORPHAN.jpg Orphaned Page
The following page(s) were orphaned, meaning they weren't linked from any other page on UDWiki. For house-keeping's sake, we are adding the link onto the relevant talk page. If you don't want the pages anymore just post them on the Deletions Page. You aren't required to do anything, but we'd appreciate if it you kept the link on any one of your pages.

Please note that the link provided below will not remove the page from Orphaned Pages, so you'll still need to manually make a link for us. Thank you.

Your page, Dr. schwan’s Research and Development Team/temp, was not linked to on the wiki. This message is just to provide a link for it and clear it from our orphanage. --Yonnua Koponen Talk ! Contribs 21:27, 24 July 2010 (BST)

Fort Perryn Run?

Hey, It is highlanderjack. I was just wondering if you wanted to go and try to take fort perryn back. Seeing as Whittenside is a ghost town i figure now would be a good time for an assault.Alright just let scout eric and i know what you think.--Beowulf661 16:09, 26 August 2010 (BST)

And you know there is another albert schwan right? [2] is he you or an imitator?--Beowulf661 20:04, 26 August 2010 (BST)

Highlanderjack-that is a mockery clonezerg made by enemies of the Doc. Avoid all contact with said abomination-it is not the Doc.--Belisarius17 20:19, 26 August 2010 (BST)
He is in the Buckley mall --Beowulf661 22:23, 26 August 2010 (BST)

Who are you...?

Are you the same as Dr Albert Schwan? He seems a bit more shady than you. --Wesker 04:31, 23 September 2010 (BST)

No I am not. If you check the profile link on my user page you will find my UD character "Albert Schwan". "Dr. Albert Schwan" is a clone of me made by group called the Heathers in an effort to make me look bad. You can find information on this at the link on the bottom of my user page titled "Whittenside Database of Behavioral anomalies".
--Albert Schwan Albert Schwan  05:24, 23 September 2010 (BST)

Wait, you were in Preston?

Hey, I noticed that the latest Necronet Scan (prior to me updating it) of The Preston Building was done by you...which means you must have been why didn't I see you? And Furthermore, why don't you help out with SBR? Red Eyes-Dezonus-Red Eyes (talk) 10:48, 23 September 2010 (BST)

That was an ALT of mine who is registered with Necrowatch and reports on my Necrowatch account. He has since moved back home to Dulston. That ALT does a lot of roving around but he does not have the supprt of a group behind him so would be little help with your effort. You will therefore find my name somewhere in the resords of most of Malton's NTs. I may be aiding you soon enough as part of my work with SDN. When that happens, I will discuss it with you on their IRC.
--Albert Schwan Albert Schwan  20:28, 23 September 2010 (BST)

Organization XIII

Let's talk turkey. 'Cause I'm assuming you're the Albert Schwan from Skynet's IRC channel the other night. --•▬ ▬••▬ • •••• •▬ ▬•▬• ▬•▬ #nerftemplatedsigs 20:11, 26 September 2010 (BST)

Correct, though I see you have met the Heathers clone of me on the wiki. I think Heather Lovecraft really outdid herself this time. I admit it is somewhat confusing but I do not have a problem with him being there provided he behaves himself at least a little. If it gets too confusing and a sysop removes him anyways, that it not my call. So…with what can I help you? Leon was somewhat vague.
--Albert Schwan Albert Schwan  20:32, 26 September 2010 (BST)
There's only one thing I haven't done yet. You see, Organization XIII is a group that switches between PKer and Pro-Survivor, depending on the survivor/zombie balance. Whichever side is outnumbered is the side it helps. The only thing that needs to be done is finding a suitable ratio to call "balanced". So what would you call a balanced ratio, doc? --•▬ ▬••▬ • •••• •▬ ▬•▬• ▬•▬ #nerftemplatedsigs 20:40, 26 September 2010 (BST)
That is an interesting concept. I feel confident I can have an answer for you but I will have to examine my data on ratios and test a few things in game. What I can tell you now is that we all realize that zombies have an edge, a 50/50 spread is a position on a slope leading to a zombie overrun city. Any balance must therefore be a higher number of survivors than zombies. That said, there are several factors that complicate the issue: organization, combat style, experience, barricading ratios. Zombies have a combat edge, but since a Combat reviver is more effective than an armed survivor, who is more effective than an unarmed survivor, and since some people in Malton, (including an ALT of mine) insist on doing everything with a fireaxe, it will be hard to nail down. Additionally, survivors have an edge barricading, unless there are zombies present, in which case the zombies can often remove barricades at a greater success rate than the survivors can replace them. I think what I am getting to in my usual long winded way, is that any ratio I discover will be based on broad generalizations and be subject to variation based on danger map survivor/zombie concentrations. I will, however, be happy to put a few things together and come up with such a figure if you like. I know it is not the straightforward answer you might have liked but it is also not as straightforward a question as it may appear.
--Albert Schwan Albert Schwan  21:38, 26 September 2010 (BST)
Let me know what you come up with. You have until December. I don't plan on making the group fully active until the start of January, so you have time. --•▬ ▬••▬ • •••• •▬ ▬•▬• ▬•▬ #nerftemplatedsigs 21:42, 26 September 2010 (BST)

Cookie.jpg A FREE COOKIE
Axe Hack has given A.schwan a cookie for helping with Organization XIII's research.
Evilcookiedb7.png A FREE COOKIE... OF EVIL!
Axe Hack has given A.schwan an evil cookie for helping with Organization XIII's research. Go on... eat it.
Axe Hack has given A.schwan an evil cookie for helping with Organization XIII's research.. Go on... eat it.
GoldInBasketCropped.jpg Gold in the Basket
This user resolved the situation by putting the gold in the basket.
Mudkips.jpg u herd rite...
dis user leiks mudkips
Rat-ah-tat-tat.jpg Here, have a rat!
Axe Hack has given A.schwan a rat for helping with Organization XIII's research.
Money tree.jpg Money Tree
Money Really Does Grow On Trees!

Did I miss any? O.o? --•▬ ▬••▬ • •••• •▬ ▬•▬• ▬•▬ #nerftemplatedsigs 02:45, 5 October 2010 (BST)

I got your research data in irc. Thanks for the help, Albert! --•▬ ▬••▬ • •••• •▬ ▬•▬• ▬•▬ #nerftemplatedsigs 07:19, 4 December 2010 (UTC)

An offer

I could not help but notice your recent contribution in Lerwill Heights. I was wondering if perhaps someone as resourceful as you would be interested in joining the Soldiers of Crossman with the character in that region or perhaps another alt. Please do consider my offer. If your answer is positive, we'll have plenty of time to get acquainted. If not then all the best in your future en devours.
Cortonna (in game) DarthRevan 07:16, 30 October 2010 (BST).

Regarding Colglough's wiki

Hello Albert. In my opinion, your write-up of the history of the Colglough Building, while a good start, comes across a bit too much as a thinly disguised group advertisement for my liking (particularly the line about your product lines and bar). No offense intended, but I am not sure someone who has been involved with the building for less than a year should be writing a history of a building that goes back to 2005 without doing their due research. Did you attempt to enlist anyone who was actually involved with the building longer than a few months for their recollections? I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that is why you contacted me. I have added to your history of Colglough, given that the building did not simply spring into existence with your arrival in early 2010. As a matter of fact, the Feral Undead have been contesting the building since spring of 2006 (our first Spring Picnic). I also thought it best to mention both the Whittenside Medical Corps and the British Military Corps, as they were the primary survivor groups that occupied the building at that time and were heavily involved in its support for years.

I have removed my timestamp and associated description. I agree – it was misplaced. I do admit to being very “green” in the area of wiki etiquette, so I take absolutely no offense at all to your pointing out my errors in that area. Actually, since you are taking the time to correct me in such matters, I hope you will allow me to return the favor, specifically when it comes to your editing of building danger levels. When editing a building report, the instructions clearly state “Please use a NPOV when updating the report.” I have noticed your crossing the line of neutrality with some regularity. See [[3]] and [[4]] for examples. Now, you aren’t the only one who egregiously violates NPOV, but with your mass volume of building report updates, and apparent desire to clean the wiki up, I hope you will endeavor to do a better job of maintaining neutrality in the future.--priapus 03:22, 26 November 2010 (UTC)



As opposed to the standard passive "meatshield" technique (often refered to as "dinner" by Zed groups and unfortunately subject to cheating in the form of zerging or alt abuse), the Shieldwall is an active tactic that involves communication, FAKs, dumping bodies and cading to protect a resource building for a given period of time. The "shielding" term refers to the fact that the survivors who are designated as in the Shieldwall do not attack zombies or deathcultists, but rather spend their AP:

A) Barricading BEHIND break-ins

B) Using FAKs to prevent falling to low HPs that would allow being dragged out

C) Curing infections

D) Clearing opponents bodies from the building while leaving allies inside to be revived.

It will fall to organized attacks but allows small groups of determined survivors the ability to hold off larger numbers of zombies from ruining a building for a given amount of time.--Belisarius17 01:48, 6 December 2010 (UTC)

I thought...

...goltaur sounded familiar. Thanks for that. I owe ya one! --•▬ ▬••▬ • •••• •▬ ▬•▬• ▬•▬ #nerftemplatedsigs 19:38, 15 December 2010 (UTC)

You are quite welcome Axe. Goltaur lacks a bit of social skill but he is fairly devoted to that area; I am sure you will be seing him around.
--Albert Schwan Albert Schwan  03:23, 17 December 2010 (UTC)

Just figured I'd mention

Needs Building is back in survivor hands. What was the art collection we had there before? AndyMatthews 15:56, 12 February 2011 (UTC)

Oh, I knew that it came from all over Malton, I was just wondering if you knew what we had, because I was thinking of going around Malton to restore the Needs Buildings' collection. AndyMatthews 22:51, 12 February 2011 (UTC)

I think I will do that some time. I just got killed in a zombie break-in...Ironically, seconds after I told you of the building being claimed by survivors again. AndyMatthews 00:12, 13 February 2011 (UTC)

Axe Hack's Manhunt 4

This is a reminder to you and all the other contestants that AHMH4 begins in exactly one week. Please be in the playing area before the competition begins. Good luck, and happy hunting! --•▬ ▬••▬ • •••• •▬ ▬•▬• ▬•▬ #nerftemplatedsigs 01:31, 13 March 2011 (UTC)


Like I know how to edit Wikia pages to the proper template: that's why I put the notice there so someone who knows how can!--Dominica 05:24, 26 April 2011 (BST)

Orphaned Images

File:Scent.PNG which you uploaded is currently unused and is subject to deletion if it is older than two weeks. If you wish to ensure that it remains on this wiki then you will need to ensure that it is included in at least one page on this wiki..--Thegeneralbot 22:51, 5 May 2011 (BST)

Orphaned Images

File:50x16t.PNG which you uploaded is currently unused and is subject to deletion if it is older than two weeks. If you wish to ensure that it remains on this wiki then you will need to ensure that it is included in at least one page on this wiki..--Thegeneralbot 22:54, 5 May 2011 (BST)

I don't think the above mentioned image is an essential part of your Scent Map so unless you have an objection, I'll delete it at some point today. ~Vsig.png 16:17, 17 May 2011 (UTC)
Yes thank you. It was a typo that did not get corrected. --Albert Schwan Albert Schwan  20:55, 17 May 2011 (BST)
Thanks for clearing it up. ~Vsig.png 21:33, 17 May 2011 (UTC)


"Your search - ballistovitalitydisplaemeditation - did not match any documents."-Thus: I now know that I know it not now. The depth of my wisdom is the knowledge of my ignorance, however; "ignorantia non excusat" even if a person in the state of being unaware is unaware of it. Therefore I shall put forward the following statement in the hope that by this mistake I will "By misdirections find directions out": Ballistovitalitydisplaemeditation = Headshot. "?" --Belisarius17 22:20, 25 July 2011 (BST)

The bulldada is strong with this one. Ballistovitalitydisplaemeditation… either that or the knowledge gained through the contemplation of the state of being a living classical dancer with a congenital hip defect. Take your pick but quasilinguisticolloquialocutionary speculextemptorameditation in the name of enlightened ignorance is its own reward. --Albert Schwan Albert Schwan  00:04, 26 July 2011

The Dobbses

You know this whole time I thought JRBobDobbs and JR BobDobbs were the same. It explains why I had to re-add your profile to contacts druing AHMH4 when your CORAM alt was already there. BTW did you idle CORAM Bob? Haven't seen him in a while. ~Vsig.png 21:41, 5 August 2011 (UTC)

The CORAM Bob is a different user. I mention him at the top of JR's page as disabliguation but they are related only by their pretanatural salesmanship and a shared appreciation of all things Slack.--Albert Schwan Albert Schwan  22:05, 5 August 2011
Ah, well then this conversation never happened. <.< ~Vsig.png 22:24, 5 August 2011 (UTC)


...And I mean nobody, one-ups the Mudkip! Sadly, I don't seem to have a newspaper in my inventory...Yet. >_< --•▬ ▬••▬ • •••• •▬ ▬•▬• ▬•▬ #nerftemplatedsigs 01:06, 26 August 2011 (BST)

You gotta find me first mudkip :P--Albert Schwan Albert Schwan  01:09, Friday 26 August 2011
Hm...Instead of friendly newspaper slappin', do you take stabbings? :D --•▬ ▬••▬ • •••• •▬ ▬•▬• ▬•▬ #nerftemplatedsigs 01:12, 26 August 2011 (BST)
I will make things easier for you. I have a Globetrotter to kill tomorrow, but after that, I will sign up for your practice event. That way you can just use the guns.--Albert Schwan Albert Schwan  01:49, Friday 26 August 2011
If anything, that practice event is probably a fail. I think it might have been poor timing on my part. And probably because the thing wasn't really planned out ahead of time. >_< --•▬ ▬••▬ • •••• •▬ ▬•▬• ▬•▬ #nerftemplatedsigs 02:04, 26 August 2011 (BST)
Solo tells me she just posted this event to a different forum that she is a part of so you may yet get a taker or two unless you cancel it. --Albert Schwan Albert Schwan  02:50, Friday 26 August 2011


Yo, email me a list of potential invites for the Manhunt Masters Invitational.--Yonnua Koponen Talk ! Contribs 13:24, 1 September 2011 (BST)

Yo, let's coordinate our invites with the others just to make sure we don't happen to send duplicate recommendations. I offer up Organization XIII's irc channel (server:, channel: #OrgXIII) for our coordination. Organization XIII is low on members, so that channel's not really in use at the moment. --•▬ ▬••▬ • •••• •▬ ▬•▬• ▬•▬ #nerftemplatedsigs 20:02, 1 September 2011 (BST)

Duplicate recommendations are the point are they not? If we all pick our top three and the same name is on most of the lists, it makes the selection process very easy. --Albert Schwan Albert Schwan  22:11, Thursday 1 September 2011
I've no clue. But just looking ahead in case Yon asks us to pick another name 'cause they appeared twice or more. --•▬ ▬••▬ • •••• •▬ ▬•▬• ▬•▬ #nerftemplatedsigs 23:01, 1 September 2011 (BST)

Axe Hack's Manhunt 5

5 days. --•▬ ▬••▬ • •••• •▬ ▬•▬• ▬•▬ #nerftemplatedsigs 05:05, 27 November 2011 (UTC)

Taking over The Big Prick

Just read your message on the forums.

I will say that you've got one thing going for you -- you do know how to make wiki noise. But before I put you up to a group (such that it is right now) vote, I've got a couple of questions...

  1. Do you plan to run TBP in addition to your other groups, as an adjunct, or meld it into one of your existing entities?
  2. What would you think of exploring an active merger with 404 or one of the other prominent reviver groups?

Asheets 17:53, 15 February 2012 (UTC)

Continued on the forum --Albert Schwan Albert Schwan  Wednesday, 15 February 2012


Any chance you and the TBP would be up for this? I'd like to resolve the revive issue as early as possibly. I'm not set on the TBP, but for some reason when I think of revives I think of you. --K 21:44, 7 June 2014 (UTC)


Zigmang Armanhazar please come back mah zambah m!zz!ng, hamz gambagz mah --    : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : 19:24, 26 July 2014 (UTC)

Passed along here, and will do so verbally when I see him this September.--Albert Schwan Albert Schwan  Sunday, 10 August 2014