User:A.schwan/JR BobDobbs

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JR BobDobbs


JR BobDobbs is one of several manifestations of the cosmic force that is Dobbs to exist in Malton. Other Dobbs of note include JRBobDobbs, who is in the media and works alongside CORAM, and bobb dobbs of THEM. Neither these nor JR BobDobbs are the “true” Bob Dobbs; in fact, one or more of them may be the Anti-Bob, but only time will tell.1

The origins of the true J. R. “Bob” Dobbs are shrouded in the mysteries of time. Some say he was a drilling equipment salesman, some say he was a model or a televangelist, still others say he emerged fully formed from the head of a sacred Himalayan yak (praise be to the chewer of the sacred frop cud!) and others—in a supreme fit of apathetic obedience—believe all of the above. All agree though that who he was and where he came from became unalterably transformed when he met JHVH-1 who communicated with him through a homemade television in 1953. At that moment Bob was let in on the horrible cosmic joke that is the origin of man, made aware of the impending end of the world (X-Day) that will occur on July 5th 1998, and introduced to the wonder that is SLACK. Flooded with the mind-blasting information, Bob shed his mortal body and reconfigured himself from particles of pure salesmanship ashed from the great pipe of JHVH-1. This transformation split Bob into several parts, who all left to fulfill their mission of bringing SLACK to the world and making a quick buck in the process.

When the Malton outbreak occurred in 2005, many believed it to be the foretold X-Day come at last but Bob was quick to point out the lack of pleasure ships here to collect the faithful saying “1998 will come one of these days people, don’t be in such a damn hurry.” Having watched a zombie movie where the dead took over a mall though, Bob realized the profit that stood to be made in Malton. With a salesman like him, a product that sells itself, and a customer base composed of the frightened survivors and the mindless shambling masses, what could possibly go wrong?

What could go wrong? Well for starters, his wife Connie ran off with a zombie as soon as they arrived in Malton, the people here seemed too caught up in their own drama to realize the bargain that was before them, and—after finding himself unable to convince the border wall to let him out—he discovered he was stuck here. Shrugging his shoulders and determining to make the best of the situation, Bob lit his frop pipe and dissolved into the fabric of the city. Since then, various manifestations of Bob Dobbs have emerged in Malton to peddle SLACK or punish “the Pinks”

JR BobDobbs is a violent manifestation of the Dobbsbody who wields “the stark fist of removal” and brings it to bear on others. He has left the quotation marks off of his name in an attempt to hide himself from the Bobbies who followed him over the boarder. He is a member of The Flowers of Decay, whose philosophy is in keeping with his anti-pink agenda. JR BobDobbs has further taken it upon himself to hunt the enemies of SLACK and specifically to “…kill the hell out of those death-cultists who think they are PKers just because they kill people” under the rationale that true SLACK cannot be obtained by serving a zombie agenda…unless you are a zombie; in which case…you know…whatever…

1.(Provided for disambiguation purposes. JR BobDobbs is connected in no way to either of the other mentioned Bobs)

The Book of Malton

The adventures of JR BobDobbs are being recorded in an episodic manner in a work entitled JR BobDobbs: The Book of Malton

Terms Defined

If one should come across JR BobDobbs they might hear one or more of the following terms.


Slack is not the pursuit of laziness as implied in “Slacking off” or “Slacker.” Slack is a state of power associated with ease, proper use, and self knowledge. In a sense, Slack is similar to Socratic ignorance which is the same as Socratic wisdom. "bob" first discovered this parallel on a frop fueled time bender on which he met Ol-Sockie. He also discovered that Sockie really knew how to toss back a drink. To know that I do not know what I do not know is wisdom. Those who are connected to their own Slack embrace their yeti heritage and act in accordance with their own nature in the pursuit of greater Slack (greater self knowledge). These divinely unenlightened beings are called Subgeniuses. A subgenius feeds on Slack and can use it as a weapon against Pinkness (definition to follow). "Bob" in all of his forms is a source of Slack; through him, you learn of you learn of your true self, and "You'll PAY To Know What You REALLY Think".


Pinkness is the opposite of slack and similar in concept to conceited ignorance as defined by Plato. Pinks profess to know what they do not know. The worst of the pinks, profess to know themselves and express their “individuality” by buying into the same trends and externally imposed paradigms that ultimately subvert it (i.e. the con). As Plato puts it “I do seem to myself to see one very large and bad sort of ignorance ... When a person supposes that he knows, and does not know; this appears to be the great source of all the errors of the intellect. And this, if I am not mistaken, is the kind of ignorance which specially earns the title of stupidity ... What name, then, shall be given to the sort of instruction which gets rid of this?

The Stark Fist of Removal

This “instruction” is the Stark Fist of Removal. Those who do not possess Slack can obtain it, but if they are Pink they must first lose their Pinkness (have it removed). The Stark fist is the quickest and most violent way to accomplish this. Alternately, the Stark Fist may be used against those who stand in the way of the Subgenius’s individual quest for further slack to remove them from the path. Finally, the stark fist is a weapon that the Subgeneius may use, which is powered by their own slack, to combat the evil forces of "the con".


A special type of Pinkness is possessed by the Bobbies who seek Slack because it is rebellious or trendy. Bobbies do not believe that they are Pink but think rather that they are Subgeniuses. The Subgenius will often exploit the Bobby in the pursuit of his or her own further Slack.


A term for one who takes life and him or herself too seriously. Though Similar in some ways to the concept of a Trenchie, Greyface can also refer to overly-serious Playerkillers, Greifers, scientists, or anyone who has forsaken the pursuit of Slack. Most Greyface are considered tolerable by the seekers of Slack because their disregard for it leaves more of it available. Greyface become enemies of Slack when they seek to destroy it or keep it from those who seek it.

Follower of NHGH

NHGH is a smiling god of chaos from the Negative Time Stream. Followers of NHGH worship one of the faces NHGH, collectively known as the HyperNHGH, and seek to promote chaos and insanity. Followers of NHGH are not enemies of Slack but do not seek it because they try too hard. However, should they become evangelical, as in the case of some griefing organizations, they channel Slack and corrupt it to use it as fuel to feed their agenda. This level of action warrants The Stark Fist of Removal.


Cemetery stones 2.jpg PK Count
JR BobDobbs has PKed 427 people.

11 Manhunt kills in Axehack's Manhunt 4
logged here

4 kills in Red October 2
Logged here

9 Manhunt kills in Axehack's Manhunt 5
logged here

4 kills in manhunt training camp event
Logged here

31 murderball kills (kills against living marked/unmarked members of The Dead, Malton Globetrotters, and Brricade Policy Enforcement)
bulldada, Kill#1, kill#2, kill#3, bulldada.bulldada, kill#4, kill#5, bulldada.bulldada, kill#6, bulldada, score check.bulldada, kill#7, bulldada.bulldada, kill#8, bulldada.bulldada, kill#9, kill#10 (mercy kill).bulldada, kill#11, bulldada.bulldada, kill#12.bulldada, kill#13, bulldada.bulldada, kill#14. bulldada, kill#15. bulldada, kill#16. bulldada, kill#17. dulldada, kill#18. bulldada, kill#19. bulldada, kill#20. kill#21. kill#22. kill#23. kill#24. kill#25. kill#26. kill#27. bulldada, Kill#28,bulldada, Taxidermy, kill#29, kill#30, kill#31

1 unfortunate name
target, kill

1 Parody account
Linda Watkins' Mum, kill

7 Zergs
bulldada, kill.bulldada, kill.bulldada, kill.bulldada, kill.bulldada, kill. bulldada, kill. bulldada, kill.

2 displaced Zombies/death cultists
kill.kill, bulldada

1 Famous personality
bulldada, kill.

3 arena kill
bulldada, kill. bulldada, kill, kill.

353 Flowers of Decay Kill
(kills that do or could count towards achievements with the FOD)
kill (knife, Creedy, A), kill(knife, B), kill (N), kill (P), kill, kill, Kill (Hockystick, L, Globetrotter), kill (bat, fashion police, D), kill (Skipole, Z, Crocodile). kill(knife), kill (knife, E), kill(punch, S, BHer, revenge), kill(T), kill(R), kill, kill (M), kill(Headbut, J), kill (knife), kill (foil), kill(knife, revenge), kill (knife), kill(Bite), kill(revenge), kill, kill(knife, W), kill(Fuel, X), kill, kill(knife, Globetrotter), kill(knife, Cathedral), kill(animal, Crocodile), kill(maul, C, 7-hit, Crocodile), kill(pipe, Crocodile), kill (K, king), kill(tag-back), kill(revenge, BHer, Cricket bat), kill(Q), kill(H), kill(G, Golf club), kill, kill(Tennis, President), kill(F, Pool cue, Equipment, animal), kill(O), kill(U, animal), kill, kill, kill(revenge), kill(V), kill(revenge, PKer), kill(Y), kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill(bottle), kill(crowbar), kill(double, toolbox), kill(I, Axe), kill, kill, kill(axe), kill, kill(Axe), kill, kill(axe), kill(axe), kill, kill, kill, kill(axe), kill(axe), kill(axe), kill(knife), kill, kill, kill(axe), kill, lkill(axe), kill, kill(revenge), kill, kill, kill(dark, BHer), kill, kill, kill(Templar), kill(Templar), kill(Goddess, Templar), kill(Templar), kill(Templar), kill(Templar), kill(Templar), kill(Templar), kill(Templar), kill(Templar), kill(Templar), kill(revenge, bite), kill(scrappy), kill(Templar), kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill(Templar), kill(Templar), kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill(scrappy), kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill(revenge), kill(revenge), kill(cathedral), kill, kill(revenge), kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill(zerg), kill, kill(BHer, revenge, dark, scrappy, kill(BHer, Revenge), kill(revenge, COBRA), kill, kill(revenge), kill(leader), kill, kill, kill(heather), kill(revenge), kill(globetrotter), kill(globetrotter), kill, kill, kill, kill(Heather), kill, kill, kill, kill(Heather), kill(Heather), kill(revenge), kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill(revenge), kill, kill, kill(deja-vu), kill(revenge), Kill X2 (That's me in the skull mask), kill(pumpkin), kill(candy), kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill(yeti), kill(doppelganger), kill, kill, kill(Templar), kill(Templar), kill(Templar), kill(zerg), kill(zerg), kill (zerg), kill, kill, kill(tree), kill, kill(revenge), kill(flare), kill, kill, kill(revenge), kill, kill(revenge), kill(cathedral), kill, kill, kill(zerg), kill, kill (Croc), kill, kill, kill, kill (Yeti), kill (Yeti), kill (Yeti), kill (fort), kill (yeti), kill (Yeti), kill (Yeti), kill (Yeti), kill, kill, kill (Yeti), [1], kill (Yeti), kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill (Croc), kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill (I'm Spartacus), kill, kill(revenge), kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill (revenge, BHer), kill, kill(Spartacus), kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill x5, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill (zoo), kill (zoo), kill revenge, kill, kill, kill (RT), kill, kill (revenge), kill, kill (animal), kill (animal), kill, kill (animal), kill, kill, kill, kill (deja vu), kill, kill, kill, kill (revenge), kill (revenge, Frisbee), kill (zerg), kill (zerg), kill (zerg), kill (zerg), kill (zerg), kill (zerg), kill (zerg), kill (zerg), kill (zerg), kill (zerg), kill (zerg), kill (zerg), kill(zerg), kill(zerg), kill(zerg), kill(zerg), kill(zerg), kill(zerg, kill(zerg), kill(zerg), kill(zerg), kill(zerg), kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill,kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill

The forgotten letter series
The long s (ʃ)-JRlong s.png, The letter eth (Ð, ð)-JR letter eth.png, The letter thorn (Þ, þ)-JR letter thorn.png, The letter wynn (Ƿ, ƿ)-JR letter wynn.png, The ligature ethel (Œ,œ)-JR letter ethel.png, The letter yogh (Ȝ,ȝ)-JR letter yogh.png, The ligature ash (Æ,æ)-JR letter asj.png,

Awards & Achievements

Winner of Axe Hack's Manhunt 4
Winning team on Red October 2 PK event
Winner of Axe Hack's Manhunt 5
Highest point total in manhunt event with 12 points in AHMH5
Member of The Board with the FOD
Uninvited Guest Lecturer at the Malton College of Medicine campus
self avowed winner of globetrotter poetry slam 2012

letting the work speak for itself

Winner of the PGA Malton Open tournament.

The big birdie and the win!

Nominated as Best newcomer in the Malton Murder Awards 2011

MMA11.png Maltie's Eleven Malton Murder Award Nominee
The contributions of JR BobDobbs to the PKing industry earned them a nomination at the Maltie's Eleven Malton Murder Awards.

Safety Record

Accident free for:





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