Dr. schwan’s Research and Development Team

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Dr. Schwan's Essentials Product LineLes Produits du Textile de Médecin SchwanD.S. R&DThe Doc's Novelties Product LineDr. Schwan's Culinary Product Line
The D.S. R&D: Creating a World of Difference Through Rot Science Innovation
Talk - Combat Revivers - Life-Cultists - Products&Services - Forum
Dr. schwan’s Research and Development Team
Abbreviation: D.S. R&D
Group Numbers: ~10 with other members fluid with Z.A.L.P.
Leadership: Dr. Albert Schwan
Goals: Improve the lives of all within the infected zone...THROUGH SCIENCE!
Recruitment Policy: Open
Contact: Talk page, The Main Forum, as part of the Skynet forum, or on the Skynet IRC

Notice: This group actively practices combat revives

Please see our Combat Revive Policy


About Us

"Fantasy, abandoned by reason, produces impossible monsters; united with it, she is the mother of the arts and the origin of marvels"


Based in Whittenside’s Colglough Building and started by Dr. Albert Schwan in March of 2010, Dr. schwan’s Research and Development Team is a group of devoted scientists and survivors looking to improve the lives of survivors and zombies alike through appropriation of Necrotech science. While Dr. Schwan still searches for a definitive cure for the rot virus and the paralytic state associated with the outbreak, the founding philosophy of this group holds that the zombie/survivor dynamic is the fact of life in Malton. To improve this dynamic for the benefit of all concerned, Dr. schwan’s Research and Development Team helps to keep tabs on the state of the rot virus in Whittenside through their updated brainrot Database; helps provide relavent data about the violent and irrational through The Whittenside Database of Behavioral Anomolies; stocks and staffs The Colglough Building Bar (current drink list); and helps to improve quality of life through the Dr. Schwan’s Essentials, Dr. Schwan's Culinary, The Doc’s Novelties, and The Médecin Schwan's Textiles product lines. Circumstances have required this group to often become trans-mortal. Accordingly, the D.S. R&D supports, practices, and works towards advancing the practice of Life-Culting through their relationship with their sister organization Z.A.L.P.


The Four Horsemen (Self-Titled)

"All religions, arts and sciences are branches of the same tree. All these aspirations are directed toward ennobling man's life, lifting it from the sphere of mere physical existence and leading the individual towards freedom."

-Albert Einstein

In early March of 2010, Dr. Schwan was putting the finishing touches on his Feral Undead Blend Finishing Salt when a lab accident caused an explosion that rendered him unconscious for the better part of a day. Analyzing his mistake, Schwan found that the chemical imbalance could have been stopped if he had two or three more hands to hold the chemicals. In true Necrotech fashion, he immediately set to work on a serum that would grow an unspecified number of extra arms. This had to be scrapped, however, when lab tests confirmed that the new proprioceptors could not be linked to the central nervous system, causing the arms to behave unpredictably in clinical tests. Pondering on his failure, Dr. Schwan returned to the Colglough Building Lobby where four members of The Chili Corporation appointed themselves his bodyguards: the self styled “Four Horsemen”. Reflecting on recent events, the Dr. decided that, in lieu of extra arms, a little help couldn’t hurt, and Dr. schwan’s Research and Development Team was formed.

The Betrayal?

"The best laid schemes o' mice an' men Gang aft a-gley"

-Robert Burns

Shortly after this, one of the horsmen--Valek Darkmist--killed one of Dr. Schwan's research assitants and destroyed a generator in the neighboring hospital. Another member succumbed to the influence of the rot virus and joined the feral undead. A third member, Sedric Dawn, vandalized the building and fled into the night. With three of the founding members pusuing alternate paths and the fourth gone missing, the future of the organization was dubious. Upon reflection, however, Dr. Schwan decided that the die had been cast and the group would stand. Dr. schwan’s Research and Development Team now remains open to all like minded individals interested in bettering our situation through science.

The Fall of Colglough

"It is in his distress that a man is tested, for then his nature is revealed."


On March 28th The Colglough Building was taken by a hoard of zombies including members of the Feral Undead, The Undeadites, and the Militant Order of Barhah. Leading this charge were the Four Horsemen, making their intentions towards Colglough and its inhabitants imminently clear at long last. Bolstered by remaining survivors from Fort Perryn, Colglough held out for some time meeting each new zombified visitor with a revivification syringe, but eventually fell to an organized strike by the MOB. After being revived, Dr. Schwan crept back into the facility and looked in dismay at its smoldering ruins. The damaged equipment strewn over the factory floor. His private office soaked with booze and blood and littered with the remains of brave defenders. The smashed remains of The Colglough Building Recreational Intoxication Sub-Facility for the Improvement of Morale Through Dispensation and Responsible Imbibement of Ethyl-Based Beverages. The bravely shambling members of his staff still walking the halls.

As he looked out from his hiding space at the devastation that had once been a meditative art collection from all over Malton, he was struck by a feeling that he knew might have been sadness if not for the effectiveness of the Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors he had taken in preparation for this visit, when, looking down, he noticed a glinting piece of metal within the debris. The syringe still maintained its shine despite the attack and the pre-loaded Necrotech solution glittered in defiance of the chaos all around. As he turned the needle in his hand, he experienced what he knew would have been a renewed sense of purpose if not for the benzodiazepine derivative he had taken in preparation for this visit. None the less, he vowed to the ruins of Colglough and the shoes of a passing zombie that he would restore this facility or become incapacitated in the attempt.

The Struggle & The Persistent Guest

“House guests are like fish; they stink after three days.”

--unattributed saying

Following the Feral Undead Spring Picnic of 2010, there was a period of instability in Whittenside. Larger forces struggled to retake ort Perryn while the D.S.R&D fought to reclaim Colglough. During this time a leader emerged among the zombies by the name of Priapus who claimed the Colglough building as his own. Often would Dr. Schwan and his team arrive to find the building host to several brainrotted zombies who had taken up residence. The attachment that they formed for the building eventually became so strong that these zombies returned time and again, in human or in zombie form, to take the facility by force, murder the inhabitants, and sit in the building in a kind of eerie silence.

Perhaps this behavior was territorial or perhaps it was a response to residual chemicals in the facility that proved to be addictive to the undead. Priapus particularly seemed affected by this and claimed to experience physical pain when separated from the building, developing as well an apparent allergy to the standard necrotech solution. Whatever the cause, the presence of these zombies became a galvanizing factor for the D.S. R&D facilitating their expansion and an alliance with the organization The Big Prick.

As the facility fell into disrepair and the backup supply of Single Malt Malton Whiskey began to dwindle, the D.S.R&D hatched a plan to take back the building with the help of their new allies. Attempting a new treatment in addition to administration of Necrotech drugs, The D.S.R&D and Big Pricks treated Priapus and the others in the building in mid to late April and reclaimed Colglough in the name of science. Priapus’s whereabouts remain unknown at this time.

The Heathers

"C'est magnifique, mais ce n'est pas la guerre"

-Pierre Bosquet

A time followed, as the fort was retaken and Colglough began to return to its former state of glory, when calm began to return to the suburb of Whittenside. Once more the halls bustled with survivors and the members of the D.S.R&D were free to return to their individual pursuits. Unfortunately, no period of peace lasts forever and some are more brief than others. On May 5th 2010, Colglough received a new batch of guests. Among them, were members of an elusive group called The Heathers. Following an altercation with one of the members of this group by the name of Veronica Sawyer that had been contrived so as to provoke a response, the D.S.R&D found itself the target of a series of concerted strikes and the subject of a propaganda campaign designed to demoralize and possibly disband its members.

Dr. Schwan was left with two choices: Fight them and be killed, or not fight them and be killed. He opted for the latter figuring that this path at least gave him more time to devote to his work. During this time, Dr. Schwan and the other members of the D.S. R&D were killed by the heathers daily, all the while, they collected data. Dr. Schwan used all of his “down time” to work on products and services inspired by this experience, resulting in the creation of a new product line (Les Produits du Textile de Médecin Schwan) and The Whittenside Database of Behavioral AnomoliesThe added effect of this slaughter, often timed to coincide with zombie attacks, was to weaken and empty the Colglough building, impair the revivification effort, and further destabilize the suburb, leading eventually to the fall of Fort Perryn.

The Heathers continued this attack and the D.S.R&D continued to use it as a means to collect data about their group. The experiment continued until The D.S. R&D encountered patterns of redundancy, whereupon they compiled their results and posted their findings. At present, all active Heathers have been catalogued as have all current manslaves (assassins used by this group). During the course of this study, the D.S.R&D has gained one new member (Oliver Godolphin), gained three new allied groups (The Wulves, Team Xtreme, and The Illuminati), fallen out with the Feral Undead (owing to the connection between the two groups), and begun work on a new product line featuring textiles. The Heathers, angered by some of the findings, continued their assault. Nearly 6 months after hostilities began, the outbursts of violence became less frequent as many of the manslaves went dormant. The D.S. R&D made note of this and continued their operations. Occasional incidents still occur, but the D.S.R&D stresses that, to them, this indefinite continuation of hostilities is not a war; it is a public service with a price tag. They believe that the benefits gained by cataloguing the dangerous and irrational, by occupying them, and by exposing them for what they are despite their sometimes regal appearance, outweigh any continuing cost.

Wyke Hills

"Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them - that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like."

-Lao Tzu

The situation in Whittenside became more and more strained as time went on. Survivors abandoned the area and even the local groups were absent for long stretches of time. During this time, the D.S. R&D, with the help of a drug they designed called Rotalin, set out to scientifically explore the practice of Life-Culting, making discoveries that would eventually lead to the founding of an allied group called Z.A.L.P.

All the while, relations between the D.S. R&D and the Feral Undead deteriorated. The bad blood, which was originally the result of the connection the FU share with the Heathers, refused to be let and hardheadedness on both sides resulted in enmity that seemed irreconcilable. The D.S. R&D was founded for the purpose of improving life in Malton and the situation in whittenside was only becoming worse through their efforts. With a dethatched and scientific regret, the D.S. R&D shuttered its production facilities at Colglough, moving what remained of the equipment underground where it could be accessed remotely through Malton’s subterranean pneumatic network.

Dr. Schwan and the Colglough staff began searching for a new home, eventually settling on Wyke Hills: a suburb they had first encountered as a group when they assisted their allies the Wulves in reclaiming it following Big Bash 3. As they settled into their new environment, the D.S. R&D came to appreciate the many amenities that the area had to offer and the relative civility and curious ingenuity of the local undead. Still, they were not willing to write off the suburb of Whittenside entirely and continue to act within the suburb on occasion to assist local survivors with repairs and upkeep. Since the relocation, they have participated in operations aimed at taking and repairing the suburb’s infrastructure in the hopes that a second Golden Age of Civility in Whittenside may at some point be possible.

Other moments in D.S. R&D history

Harman for the Holidays 2010 caroling contest and lighting event.
The killer Roomba: pt1, pt2, pt3, the story
Heathers’ first strike
For the Colglough furniture!
Harman for the Holidays 2011

Membership Qualifications

"Superhuman effort isn't worth a damn unless it achieves results"

-Ernest Shackleton

To become a member of this group, survivors must have an interest in science and marketing. Beyond this, there is a code of conduct associated with membership in this organization.

1. Members of this group will not PK survivors unless one of the following previsions be met: (a) in order to defend him or herself or to protect the life of an ally, lethal force is authorized. (b) To protect the cause of scientific advancement, those who would threaten our endeavors through the destruction of generators or other scientific equipment may be dealt with in an extreme manner befitting the gravity of their crime. (c) instructional vivisection: in order to root out the neurological cause of homicidally violent behavior, members of this group are not obligated to but may elect—if their personal research so directs them—to hunt and kill notorious PKers.

2. Members of this group will not kill a zombie without a reason: the virus is the enemy not the zombies themselves therefore the destruction of zombies should be limited to self preservation; protection of survivors, equipment, or facilities; or the furtherance of research. In the latter case, emotional involvement should be avoided.

3. Members of this group will protect and improve scientific facilities, particularly Necrotech Buildings where possible.

4. In all other areas of survivor interaction, members of the group will remain professional. Remember, the reputation of this organization rides with you as you perform your duties.

If you agree to this code of conduct, change your group tag to say “D.S. R&D”, add your signature to the membership list, copy the code for one of the following flagboxes to your user profile and welcome aboard.

Choosing the Right Tag

Variety's the very spice of life.

—William Cowper

All current branches of this group are based in the Colglough Building in Whittenside. All are responsible for its defense and upkeep while in residence.

The Enforcement Dept.

The primary job of the enforcement dept. is the preservation of Colglough and the protection of scientific staff in the field. Enforcement staff are responsible for handling unruly patients and for responding to homicidal visitors. It is expected that enforcement staff will be well armed at all times.

Dsrd.png Dr. schwan’s Research and Development Team
This user is a member of Dr. Schwan's Research&Development Team: ---Enforcement Dept.

The Marketing Dept.

The primary job of the marketing department is the dissemination of information regarding our group and current releases in the Essentials, Culinary, and Novelty product lines. Marketing members should be familiar with the workings of a radio transmitter and the use of a spraycan and be willing to supply the tinyurls for the product catalogues should the situation warrant. Ideally, members of this department should also speak zamgrh.

Dsrd.png Dr. schwan’s Research and Development Team
This user is a member of Dr. Schwan's Research&Development Team: ---Marketing Dept.

Scientific Development Dept.

The scientific development department is charged with researching the rot virus and finding new applications for Necrotech technology. Members of this department may be required to perform revives, brainrot revives, and combat revives in an effort to better understand the virus. This subgroup must also be on the lookout for new product development ideas within the existing product lines. It is expected that members of the scientific development department will be familiar with the use of all Necrotech devices.

Dsrd.png Dr. schwan’s Research and Development Team
This user is a member of Dr. Schwan's Research&Development Team: ---Scientific Developmet Dept.

The Classification Dept.

The purpose of the classification department is to maintain and update the rotters database. Members of this department must be able to DNA extract zombies and add any individuals with brainrot to the appropriate database for further study. It is helpful if members of this group are registered wiki users but this is not required as members may report findings to director Schwan for upload into the database.

Dsrd.png Dr. schwan’s Research and Development Team
This user is a member of Dr. Schwan's Research&Development Team: ---Classification Dept.


--Albert Schwan Albert Schwan 

--Buebert (newspaper wielding enforcer)

--Sigmund Amenhauser (scientific development dept: New Arkham Branch)

--DarkBunnyLord (enforcement)

--Sam Public (Chief personnel in charge of sustaining morale)

--solodogscout (Chief personnel in charge of requisition)

--Kieran Furlong (honorary member and enforcer) (dual allegiance with Damn Yankees)

--Angrabar: an animate fireaxe (Enforcement)(dual allegiance with Damn Yankees)

--Hulking Zombie (Scientific development dept:field testing of revivification agents)

--Oliver Godolphin (Scientific Development Dept.)

--Dave Sappert

--Stubbs rebel (scientific dept)

--RandomPhysicsNerd (Scientific Development Dept.)


Damn Yankees

The Big Prick


Team Xtreme


Current Projects

The Whittenside Database of Behavioral Anomalies


A database of the violent, irrational, or psychologically unstable residents of Whittenside.

The Whittenside Rotters Database


A database of those with brainrot in the whittenside area provided to facilitate treatment of brainrot and unclog revive points.

Dr. Schwan's Essentials Product Line

Dr. Schwan’s Essentials is a new product line developed by Whittenside’s own Dr. Albert Schwan. The Essentials contains products for dashing danger seekers, radiant ransackers, and scientists in the know. Even practical products for the walking dead! Based in Whittenside’s historic the Colglough Building, Dr. Schwan launched his product line in February 2010 with the release of his patented Zombie Repellent Hair Tonic and followed it up with more product releases throughout the year.


Dr. Schwan's Culinary Product Line

For those growing tired of the deplorable state of cuisine in Malton or for zombies who do not believe that, just because one is undead, that does not mean that one need eat like a savage, the second product line to roll of the Colglough factory floor features products designed to fill the post-apocalypse culinary void. From potent potables, to seasoning, to nutritional supplements that make use of the latest advances in Maltonian Rot Science, Dr. Schwan brand culinary products are practical and good for you. Zombie tested; survivor approved.


The Doc's Novelties Product Line

Life and unlife in Malton, while never without danger, can sometimes get tedious. Between revivifications, inject some much needed levity into life with the Doc’s Novelties product line. Featuring decorative NT syringe accessories, board games, and model kits, there are products here for the whole family. Give some to the kids; it is hard to tell if that look is rigor, nerves, or a smile of appreciation. It may be all three! With the Doc’s Novelties, everything is more fun: even fending off your zombified loved ones with what remains of your dinette set.


Les Produits du Textile de Médecin Schwan


The Schwan Laboratories Industrial Line


D.S. Medical Line


Recruitment posting

The D.S. R&D: Creating a World of Difference Through Rot Science Innovation

Talk - Combat Revivers - Life-Cultists - Products&Services - Shared Forum

Multi-colored boxes, names, and a few buttons: this is Malton…but it doesn’t have to be. There can more to this city than stocking ammo, counting kills, or relocating the next time a major horde rampages through your area. If technology got us into this mess, perhaps technology can get us out. Formed in Whittenside’s Colglough Building surrounded by the city’s largest active horde, Dr. schwan’s Research and Development Team is an autonomous collective of scientifically inclined survivors and survivor supporting zombies looking to challenge paradigms and make life in Malton more interesting for everyone…THROUGH SCIENCE!!!

As scientists, we ask questions and seek answers. We are writers, artists, satirists, and free thinkers who are not content to live by accepted zombie or survivor dogma. We are inquisitive and interested in adapting current concepts and strategies to achieve new aims. We are analysts who find patterns where none seem to exist. We are a soundboard, a sandbox, a support group. We are Life-Cultists, Combat revivers, wiki-editors, inventors…we are looking to expand.

If you believe that a zombie and a survivor fighting to the death in the middle of the street--while iconic-- is not an accurate representation of the complexity of life in Malton, view our products, visit the wiki, or drop by our forum. Malton is what we make of it; let’s make it better.

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