Dr. Schwan’s Essentials: Difference between revisions
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Dr. Schwan’s Zombie Repellant Hair Tonic takes advantage of new breakthroughs in olfactory-microbiology, in particular the study of zombie pheromones. On his recent journeys through Malton, Dr. Schwan discovered that there is more to the rancid smell of an ordinary member of the undead hoard than rancid meat. I fact, there is something quite unique about the smell of a zombie. Further, he observed that zombies, for the most part, seem to hoard together, often traveling long distances to bash down a barricade en-masse. He became curious and set out to find out why. After numerous tests, Dr. Schwan discovered that zombies—though they are biologically dead—secrete a pheromone that attracts other zombies. By isolating and genetically modifying the gland responsible, he was able to create a pheromone that did exactly the opposite. As pleasant smelling as its attracting counterpart is foul, this pheromone repels zombies nonviolently. Thus was Dr. Schwan’s Zombie Repellent Hair Tonic born, allowing scientists to go about their work, military to do their duty, and civilians to continue being civil with a decreased chance of unwanted zombie attention. | Dr. Schwan’s Zombie Repellant Hair Tonic takes advantage of new breakthroughs in olfactory-microbiology, in particular the study of zombie pheromones. On his recent journeys through Malton, Dr. Schwan discovered that there is more to the rancid smell of an ordinary member of the undead hoard than rancid meat. I fact, there is something quite unique about the smell of a zombie. Further, he observed that zombies, for the most part, seem to hoard together, often traveling long distances to bash down a barricade en-masse. He became curious and set out to find out why. After numerous tests, Dr. Schwan discovered that zombies—though they are biologically dead—secrete a pheromone that attracts other zombies. By isolating and genetically modifying the gland responsible, he was able to create a pheromone that did exactly the opposite. As pleasant smelling as its attracting counterpart is foul, this pheromone repels zombies nonviolently. Thus was Dr. Schwan’s Zombie Repellent Hair Tonic born, allowing scientists to go about their work, military to do their duty, and civilians to continue being civil with a decreased chance of unwanted zombie attention. | ||
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To order and use Dr. Schwan’s Zombie Repellent Hair Tonic simply copy the code for the following tag to your user page | <center>To order and use Dr. Schwan’s Zombie Repellent Hair Tonic simply copy the code for the following tag to your user page | ||
{{flagbox|Gray|A.s.egraphic.png|[[Dr. Schwan’s Essentials|Dr. Schwan's Essentials]]|This user proudly wears Dr. Schwan's patented Zombie Repellent Hair Tonic.}} | {{flagbox|Gray|A.s.egraphic.png|[[Dr. Schwan’s Essentials|Dr. Schwan's Essentials]]|This user proudly wears Dr. Schwan's patented Zombie Repellent Hair Tonic.}}</center> | ||
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All Necrotech employees are familiar with the peculiar way that the flesh of a zombie will quiver as the contents of the Necrotech syringe begin their slow molecular work. To Dr. Schwan this had always been a fascinating display of the inherent elasticity of the human biology. The commercial application of this process did not occur to him until, while performing a field revive on an older female survivor, he noticed that this noted biological perturbation caused the wrinkles in the zombified flesh of the woman smooth noticeably before the moment of revivification. If he could but isolate this effect, he could not only improve the features of his customers but reverse the damage that repeated zombification causes to the complexion. After repeated tests with sub-dermal applications performed on his own person, Dr. Schwan came across a solution that, while it did not have any effect on living tissue, remained dormant in the surfacet issue for up to 24 hours. With the assistance of a couple of research zombies, he eventually, discovered that it was possible to preventatively treat small portions of the anatomy to receive a partial revivification at the point of death. The face being the most marketable of the affected areas, The DR’s Own Pre-Mortem Wrinkle Solution was the obvious result. | All Necrotech employees are familiar with the peculiar way that the flesh of a zombie will quiver as the contents of the Necrotech syringe begin their slow molecular work. To Dr. Schwan this had always been a fascinating display of the inherent elasticity of the human biology. The commercial application of this process did not occur to him until, while performing a field revive on an older female survivor, he noticed that this noted biological perturbation caused the wrinkles in the zombified flesh of the woman smooth noticeably before the moment of revivification. If he could but isolate this effect, he could not only improve the features of his customers but reverse the damage that repeated zombification causes to the complexion. After repeated tests with sub-dermal applications performed on his own person, Dr. Schwan came across a solution that, while it did not have any effect on living tissue, remained dormant in the surfacet issue for up to 24 hours. With the assistance of a couple of research zombies, he eventually, discovered that it was possible to preventatively treat small portions of the anatomy to receive a partial revivification at the point of death. The face being the most marketable of the affected areas, The DR’s Own Pre-Mortem Wrinkle Solution was the obvious result. | ||
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To order and use Dr. Schwan’s Own Pre-Mortem Wrinkle Solution simply copy the code for the following tag to your user page | <center>To order and use Dr. Schwan’s Own Pre-Mortem Wrinkle Solution simply copy the code for the following tag to your user page | ||
{{flagbox|Gray|A.s.egraphic.png|[[Dr. Schwan’s Essentials|Dr. Schwan's Essentials]]|This user discretely benifts from Dr.Schwan's Pre-Mortem Wrinkle Solution.}} | {{flagbox|Gray|A.s.egraphic.png|[[Dr. Schwan’s Essentials|Dr. Schwan's Essentials]]|This user discretely benifts from Dr.Schwan's Pre-Mortem Wrinkle Solution.}}</center> | ||
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===<font size=5>Dr. Schwan Brand Optical Paralytic</font>=== | ===<font size=5>Dr. Schwan Brand Optical Paralytic</font>=== | ||
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Isolating the compound, the doctor set to work on developing it for human use but soon discovered that—owing to the top-heavy and unbalanced nature of bipedal locomotion—the effect observed in the cat could not be reproduced in human test subjects. He could, however, use the distilled toxin to cause paralysis in any area with exposed blood vessels: like the eyes and eyelids. Beyond the obvious, Dr. Schwan leaves the further applications of this product to the customer as he proudly presents Dr. Schwan Brand Optical Paralytic. | Isolating the compound, the doctor set to work on developing it for human use but soon discovered that—owing to the top-heavy and unbalanced nature of bipedal locomotion—the effect observed in the cat could not be reproduced in human test subjects. He could, however, use the distilled toxin to cause paralysis in any area with exposed blood vessels: like the eyes and eyelids. Beyond the obvious, Dr. Schwan leaves the further applications of this product to the customer as he proudly presents Dr. Schwan Brand Optical Paralytic. | ||
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To order and use Dr. Schwan Brand Optical Paralytic simply copy the code for the following tag to your user page | <center>To order and use Dr. Schwan Brand Optical Paralytic simply copy the code for the following tag to your user page | ||
{{flagbox|Gray|A.s.egraphic.png|[[Dr. Schwan’s Essentials|Dr. Schwan's Essentials]]|Is this user out of AP? You will never know thanks to Dr. Schwan Brand Optical Paralytic Eyedrops.}} | {{flagbox|Gray|A.s.egraphic.png|[[Dr. Schwan’s Essentials|Dr. Schwan's Essentials]]|Is this user out of AP? You will never know thanks to Dr. Schwan Brand Optical Paralytic Eyedrops.}}</center> | ||
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===Rotalin=== | ===<font size=5>Rotalin</font>=== | ||
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Rotalin: bringing new purpose to Malton and keeping you on the task at hand…through science. | Rotalin: bringing new purpose to Malton and keeping you on the task at hand…through science. | ||
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To order and use Dr. Schwan's Rotalin simply copy the code for the following tag to your user page | <center>To order and use Dr. Schwan's Rotalin simply copy the code for the following tag to your user page | ||
{{flagbox|Gray|A.s.egraphic.png|[[Dr. Schwan’s Essentials|Dr. Schwan's Essentials]]|This user believes that life-cultists are not necessarily terrible role-players. That's why they responsibly use Dr. Schwan's patented Rotalin formula.}} | {{flagbox|Gray|A.s.egraphic.png|[[Dr. Schwan’s Essentials|Dr. Schwan's Essentials]]|This user believes that life-cultists are not necessarily terrible role-players. That's why they responsibly use Dr. Schwan's patented Rotalin formula.}}</center> | ||
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===Schwan Brand HARMAN-izing solution=== | ===<font size=5>Schwan Brand HARMAN-izing solution</font>=== | ||
{{Udspan|You hear a low groan coming from within the building…and again…and again…}}<br> | |||
{{Udspan|The groans become…a musical number?!?}}<br><br> | |||
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Working from the original test data with the help of his team, Dr. Schwan added some flavoring additives, a few topical catalysts, and fine tuned the dosage to create a product very similar to the vocal spray used by professional singers. One dose partially revivifies the inner mouth and vocal cords allowing zombies to produce phonological sounds and reach octaves usually impossible in their undead state. The resultant effect allows the zombie to more effectively communicate, sing, and even harmonize with other zombies through the administration of different doses to achieve different vocal ranges. | Working from the original test data with the help of his team, Dr. Schwan added some flavoring additives, a few topical catalysts, and fine tuned the dosage to create a product very similar to the vocal spray used by professional singers. One dose partially revivifies the inner mouth and vocal cords allowing zombies to produce phonological sounds and reach octaves usually impossible in their undead state. The resultant effect allows the zombie to more effectively communicate, sing, and even harmonize with other zombies through the administration of different doses to achieve different vocal ranges. | ||
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To order and use Schwan Brand HARMAN-izing solution simply copy the code for the following tag to your user page | <center>To order and use Schwan Brand HARMAN-izing solution simply copy the code for the following tag to your user page | ||
{{flagbox|Gray|A.s.egraphic.png|[[Dr. Schwan’s Essentials|Dr. Schwan's Essentials]]|This user is a vocal virtuoso, even in zombie form thanks to Schwan Brand HARMAN-izing solution.}} | {{flagbox|Gray|A.s.egraphic.png|[[Dr. Schwan’s Essentials|Dr. Schwan's Essentials]]|This user is a vocal virtuoso, even in zombie form thanks to Schwan Brand HARMAN-izing solution.}}</center> | ||
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[[Category:Fiction]] | [[Category:Fiction]] | ||
[[Category:Dr. schwan’s Research and Development Team]] | |||
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Latest revision as of 09:19, 17 July 2014
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