Coffins Lane School

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Coffins Lane School
EthrDemon (talk) 19:19, 30 May 2020 (UTC)
Coffins Lane School

Molebank [12, 49]

Maishman Bank St. Jude's Cathedral St. Jude's Cathedral
the Curme Building Coffins Lane School Donnan Alley
Buckett Walk
Prisk Alley
Clare Lane

Basic Info:

  • Among the internal descriptions found in Schools:
    • "Half-finished work is scattered across the floor."
  • This building can be barricaded normally
Stret3.JPG Amusing Location
This location is on the list of Amusing Locations in Malton

Coffins Lane School


Just another run down state school.


Recovered copies of Malton's estate agent handbook cite a few legendary land development deals for inspiration. Topping the list is the ninety-two acquisition of St. Jude's cemetery.

Exploiting a loophole in land registration definitions, the land was partially tilled by an unknown third party and so entered as brown-field by the county regeneration clerk. The unscrupulous developers roped the council into taking out a loan to pay for a new financial complex on this site. Two weeks into the project, with cut-price materials on their way, the developer's bogus construction firm announced that the land had been incorrectly listed and was non-viable. Declaring bankruptcy, they skipped town, leaving the council with the bill. Trying to flip this embarrassing situation, the council proposed a community financed development, 'to renovate this unsightly parcel of brown-field by erecting a new High School.'

Unfortunately, the first year of pupils were well aware of the land's history and began the tradition of calling it Coffins Lane High School. Even today, this building serves as a memorial to Town Hall's incompetence.

Barricade Policy

While there is nothing particularly special about Coffins Lane School, it is often barricaded to Extremely Heavily. The nearest free running entry point is The Hateley Arms.

Current Status

2 Cool and their Fan Club are now in possession of this Amusing Location.--xoxo 10:04, 1 May 2008 (BST)

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