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Clock.png Inactive Group
MRH are no longer active. Its group page is preserved for archival purposes. Please do not edit this page. This group was reported inactive on 12:23, 6 January 2009 (UTC) Not Inactive?

When the going gets tough, we eat prunes!
Malton Retirement Housing
Abbreviation: MRH
Group Numbers: A bunch
Leadership: [CoFR] Members
Recruitment Policy: By Referral
Contact: MRH Urban Dead forum


The forgotten inhabitants of a Malton retirement community have discovered a common strength: With their shuffling gait, lack of hair, and overall sagginess of skin, many of these old folks have somehow been able to avoid zombie attack, even while traveling in their midst. The reason why remains a mystery.

Adversity, however, has forced these elderly men and women to come out of retirement, relying on skills and knowledge long unused. They seek to avoid deadly encounters while searching for the essentials of life: Mainly fiber and low-cost prescription medicine.

Most touching of all, perhaps, is the solemn promise that each and every MRH member has made to each other: If any one member should succumb to that most horrible fate, it is everyone's sworn duty to ensure that above all that their fallen friend does not lose his or her dentures. Because nothing is more pathetic than a zombie trying to gum a breather.

Mission statement

So what the bloody God damned Dickens are we up to, really? Well, we can break it down to a few simple things:

  • Dummy barricade the hell outta Stanbury Village. It’s home after all.
  • Stab our dead friends in the neck with syringes.
  • Keep those zombie hooligans outta our yards!
  • Find a good mall that carries prunes and gives senior citizens discount.
  • Give aid to any survivors we can and improve turnouts for Bingo tuesdays.

All in all, just plain good fun is what we’re after. If you don’t like that we’ll most likely kill you. We probably will anyway. We're old and have poor eyesight so we have to shoot anything that moves.


MRH Urban Dead forum
We only recruit people who belong to CoFR or are friends and/or relatives of someone in aforementioned group, but you can still head on over there. We can chat about the weather, the good old days and complain about the damned punk a** kids who are ruining our lawn with their zombie bonfires in the back yard.

Revivification Requests

MRH is taking revive requests. To register go to our Public Revive Requests post and follow the instructions. Remember, one (1) tube of super Poly-Grip is payable upon succesful revivification. Three (3) cans of Metamucil are also acceptable. Efferdent is not an acceptable payment and may result in the revocation of services rendered. It tastes nasty.


Start quote rb.gif In general the more effort a group puts up improves the taste of their sweet, sweet brainz. The Malton Retirement Housing group in Nichols was a fun group to hit. Goofy names and descriptions are welcome as well. Ottis Spunkmeyer's brain tasted like cookies - chewy, gooey, succulent cookies.  End quote rb.gif

-- ZombieMcAllen on Channel_4_News_Team/Exclusives

Just a few of them, the ones who decided to share some information about themselves

Astram Loccasin
El Soylento
Ottis Spunkmeyer
Rabbi Bob - (Random_Public_Speeches)

Fairly Crusty News

Start quote rb.gif Nice to finally run into you MRH people. I enjoyed your WIKI page immensely since I came across it a few months ago. Stay safe guys, and keep the Advil well-stocked ;)  End quote rb.gif

-- Im So Hosed

November 2006 MRH is rumoured to be backing something called the TTP somewhere in the south end of Buttonville. What the TTP is or the exact location of it is yet unknown. One thing is certain though, MRH numbers in Stanbury Village are dropping.

Don't worry Stanburians. There will still be your friendly neighborhood granny keeping eye on the youngsters who make noises late in the night. This task force is called Department of Home Security.

October 2006 Blackmore Building fell and consequently there was some action in Stanbury Village too. No worries though, MRH members are back on their daily dose of fiber.

Late August/September 2006 Having taken a wrong turn on the way to the Kost Kutter in the day trip van, some MRH members have wound up with some of our old friends and allies in the Blackmore Building in Ridleybank.

August 2006

Still alive. The Big Bash kept us busy for few days, but it's been quiet for weeks now. The dentures can safely be put to the water glass for the night without a fear for a storm.

June 2006

The MRH public revive campaign turns out to be a small success in both helping humans back to their daily lives and also in adding to the MRH weekend cribbage tournament guests.

March 2006

The MRH community begins an attempt to offer public revives by request.

January 2006

The founding CoFR UD group officially adopts the MRH (Malton Retirement Housing)name.

October 2005

After being attacked during a marathon "Bingo for Depends" contest hosted by the Malton area retirement homes, the future members of the MRH agree to group together under the name CoFR.

Cofr mrh.jpg