Pumpkin Pedophiles
| Pumpkin Pedophiles | |
| Pumpkin Pedophiles are here to stay! | |
| Abbreviation: | PP |
| Group Numbers: | 10+ |
| Leadership: | Neo Nazi, Lezick |
| Goals: | To spread joy to the devastated and traumatized children of Malton, and to take revenge upon deadbeat parents who abandoned their children |
| Recruitment Policy: | You have to be a tender, loving, and caring parent & contact via MSN |
| Contact: | scarfacekgc@yahoo.com on MSN |
The Pumpkin Pedophiles were formed during the first outbreaks of Malton. Neo Nazi was lurking about the cruel streets of horror, killing zombies as they popped out of manholes and dark alleys. He faced a lot of hostility from people who did not seem to like his name. Cursed he was from birth, it appears to be. He sought refuge in the Korova Milk Bar, where he met a candid lad by the name of Lezick. The two drank Jägerbombs all night, hearing the thuds from the zombies' dangling arms from the outside.
The Grand Awakening
So, it came to the marvelous minds of Neo Nazi and Lezick that the most vile thing that they both have encountered was the abandonment of children in libraries, schools, etc. This could not be forgotten from their medullae oblongatae. They were disgusted by the actions of the parents who were more interested in saving themselves than their own children. It was this that awakened the Pumpkin Pedophiles and alerted them that something had to be done. From them on, the Pumpkin Pedophiles deployed philanthropic men to satiate all the children of Malton and to avenge the traumatized children, by killing their parents indiscriminately. It might sound ruthless, but the Pumpkin Pedophiles believe that our posterity is of the utmost importance.
Actions Taken
The Pumpkin Pedophiles started by joining the sieges of Caiger Mall, where pitiful, deadbeat parents were munching in food courts and reading their filthy newspapers. Then, the Pumpkin Pedophiles went on to killing extreme amounts of pitiful parents in Calvert Mall in Quarlesbank. They're currently in the processs of annihilating military personnel in Fort Creedy because they take pride in hiding behind big walls while their children are starving and becoming infected by treacherous zombies. On a side mission, they are seeking justice in Giddings Mall for alleged child abuse. For fun, they've joined the Silent Night Slaughter and served justice to apathetic soldiers. Recently, they annihilated all of CRASH for denying the children of Malton sausages, and rotting their teeth away with soda.
Meet the Pumpkin Pedophiles' Leaders
Neo Nazi is a brutal, but understanding figure. He will never forget the wrongs that have been committed against him. His passionate ways have made him few allies. But those who haven't been able to comprehend him due to their pure ignorance, were deemed his sworn enemies. Coming from a poor household, he hasn't had much hope for humanity once the chaos began. With the majority of the adults being so selfish and materialistic, he found his hope only within the children of Malton. It is the very children of Malton that bring his spirits up and give him a new perception of the situation at hand. So, rising within the ranks of skills, he has dedicated his life to preserving the children of Malton, which are the very future of Malton. As an idealist, he foresees a bright ending to the current insanity. An ending where children will be listened to and loved and cherished. Oh, how he hopes for the true days of Halloween where children and adults can hold hands and have a gay time while picking out the best pumpkins from the fields. Anyone who is a threat willing to halt his dreams, will perish immediately.
Lezick is the most neatest, organized aristocrat of our time period, and a lover of the fine arts. Legend has it that he is a direct descendant of James Bond. While infatuated with the modern marvels of his time, he cannot help but to divulge his most loved habit of collecting classicist art. Anytime he enters a building which does not suit his taste, he is obliged to decorate it with intriguing tapestries, paintings, and sculptures. People should not be misguided by his highly profound interests, for he is a missionary in disguise. His passion for art has lead him to a philosophy which, to be truthful, is very logical. He believes that in order for art to flow throughout the future generations, the children of Malton must be saved and given comfortable shelter, and allowed to have instruments and paint with them in order for them to practice and blossom with musical and artistic masterpieces. His dream of a future full of gorgeous art which is reminiscent of classical times, has filled him with optimism and courage. No one in his or her right mind would dare get in the way of his dream.
Meet the Members
Nergin, a noble, celibate feline from the shires of Malton. His only goals in life are to give the deprived children of Malton the decent loving upbringing he never had, some frown upon his choice of actions when going about achieving this goal but most herald him as the next Nelson Mandela, only a tad bit more gayer. Naturally as a noble young child lover he doesn't racially shun any young one, in fact he's known to have cherished and raised at least 400 Vietnamese felines.
Never letting any faggot, whore or gypsy witch slow him down, he strives to make himself more knowledgeable of the human anatomy so as to be able to properly nurture the toddlers, spending days or even weeks at a time at cemeteries inspecting the corpses of children and monitoring their craniums and anal cavities. The children seem to love Mr. Nergin's way of going about things and their opinion is all that counts to him, he will never stop the crusade for better fulfillment of toddlers, not even death can stop this one.
Fido14, a charismatic, malevolent dog who escaped from the netherworld; his father was Cerberus. Though evil runs in his genes, he is a totally different being. The majority of people cannot notice this due to his unusual furriness and saliva dripping from his chin, but a different soul wanders around in his body. Angered by the mistreatments of his father, and the petty insults such as "bitch" directed towards his mother, he grew up vicious and intolerable. He couldn't take anymore the loser souls which were sent to Tartarus everyday, so he rebelled against Hades and made a great leap from Demeter's tatas and somehow teleported to Malton. He blames the wormholes for that very sequence of events.
In his newly discovered city, Malton, he encountered many beings. Many of them were adults who disrespected him a great deal. Often, he was discriminated against by domesticated canines. He couldn't find anyone he could bond with. One day, he lurked around the playground of an abandoned school and found kids playing kickball. The children welcomed him with open arms and petted him and showed him great amounts of love. He even joined in the kickball game and made it all the way to 4th base! He learned of the harsh reality that the children were facing in Malton. This saddened Fido14 very much; so much that he was obliged to hunt down the deserting parents and burn them at the stake. He promised to use his evil genetic coding for something which he finally deeply believed in: the salvation of the children!
Trademarked Moves
The Pumpkin Pedophiles are known to dabble in the arcane wonders of the world. And so, through their divine superiority, they create their own words which can only be understood by themselves. Linguistics is not the only area that the Pumpkin Pedophiles are known to be enlightened with. Their musical tastes surpass the average, simplistic music of the masses. Chances are the Pumpkin Pedophiles are in your area when you see:
- Propz, prz, lolthup, lolsup, rurthup, def, y u do dat
- Make me, ain't ma fault, proof?, foorp?, dop dat
- No problem, what is ham?, get laid, verd
- Lyrics of "If You Wanna Be Happy" by Jimmy Soul, Little Girls by Oingo Boingo, and the chorus tunes of Beethoven's 9th Symphony - 2nd Movement
- It is known that these songs are broadcasted over radio stations until the parents repeat them as a mantra
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PKER ALLIANCE |
| This user or group is associated with The PKer Alliance |
|
Silent Night Slaughter |
| Ho!Ho!Ho!Ho!Ho! This user or group caroled and celebrated with the residents of Fort Creedy on Christmas Eve in December 2007!!! |
