Greatcoat Detective Agency
"They say that genius is an infinite capacity for taking pains... It's a very bad definition, but it does apply to detective work." - Sherlock Holmes
| Greatcoat Detective Agency | |
| |
| Abbreviation: | GDA, but put Greatcoat Detective Agency in your profile, or else you won't count for us in the rankings! |
| Group Numbers: | Small |
| Leadership: | High Chief Inspector Codename GT is in charge of all detecting. |
| Goals: | To aide the Fine Peoples Of Malton in removing the likes of Professor James Moriarty and his band of ruffians from our fine city. |
| Recruitment Policy: | Open, although there are a few requirements found on the forum. |
| Contact: | All of the information about employment in the GDA, along with information on using our services can be found at our Head Office |
The Greatcoat Detective Agency was the brainchild of High Chief Inspector GT, and Chief Inspector Prisonner of Today, when it was discovered that Professor James Moriarty, the nefarious archnemesis of one Sherlock Holmes, was running amok throughout Malton, and had gathered a large band of ruffians to join him. Worse yet, he has brought his pet rat, Ratigan, with him!
Maltonians may call these ruffians "zombies", but we at the Greatcoat Detective Agency know that zombie is one of those new terms for rapists and gangbangers. So we must stop them, no matter how many episodes years it takes!
Mission Statement
Our mission is as the great Holmes stated: to prove our genius by taking on an unnatural amount of pains, or rather by causing an unnatural amount of pain to the ruffians that roam the streets of Malton. We also seek a climax to the never-ending war between our ilk and the minions of one Professor James Moriarty. Moriarty is the Napoleon of crime, the brain behind the Big Ben Caper, and quite possibly the reason all of these ruffians are behaving so oddly. We are men of logic, so we can only assume that the Professor and his pet sewer rat, Ratigan, have unleashed some form of virus into the city of Malton. These people must be saved.
So we must don our greatcoats and hunting caps, polish off our magnifying glasses, and tune up our violins. Malton needs us, detectives. The game is afoot!
Case Format
Each "episode" of our over-arching mission will be documented below, with a title presented for it based on a classic detective story, be it Holmes, Tracey, or some other third-party sleuth. We don't judge here.
After we come up with the catchy title, we simply jot down what we do, how we do it, who we do it with, and where we do it. Every case is a sub-case of our main goal: thwarting Moriarty's schemes and throwing him behind bars. Or in a ditch. Like I said, we don't judge here. Our detectives are encouraged to track down their own leads to swerve the case... it's no fun if the boys in charge are the only ones that are finding leads. We're supposed to be a teamwork-oriented Agency here, not an episode of Law & Order: SVU.
Current Mission
Bounders in Becktown: A clue near Nichols Mall in the blissful suburb of Stanbury Village led us away from Blackmore even as it fell... but where did it lead us? Why, East Becktown, of course! East Becktown... famous for being Malton's only ghost town. But not for long, if we get our way!
Interestingly enough, this is the farthest west and north we have been since A Scandal in Ackland. Moriarty has led us in a weaving trail across Malton, causing us to align ourselves with many survivor groups all at the same time. But now is not the time to rely on our friends! Now is the time that we can rely only on ourselves... on the strength of our wills and our backs! Thus is the Holmesian way, and thusly it is our way.
What are our primary goals for this case? Well... firstly, we wish to learn more about this key that has been a common theme in clues for the past month. What is the key to? Is it the key to the outbreaks? The key to stopping them? The key to a door or some unnamed property of a valuable nature?
Secondly, we wish to deliver the few survivors of East Becktown from the evils of the ruffian hordes while we are in the area, and hopefully grow in our numbers while we do it.
Finally, we are going to be checking out Dinmead Lane, famous in Malton for being the site of the construction of Malton's first synagogue. Another running theme in Moriarty's scheme is that his ruffians are always overtaking religious buildings... why? Why religion? The coordinates for Dinmead Lane were also listed in the latest clue that was found, signifying a grave importance for the site indeed.
Well boys and girls, that's it. The time for talk has ended. The time for action and detection is now. The game is afoot!
Guidelines for New Recruits
You want to be a part of the Agency? Very well, good on you for making that choice. We're quite a bunch. Now, besides the usual requirements such as "must have hunting cap" or "must play violin" or "must be a fan of brandy and/or cocaine and morphine", we have our fair share of requirements to ensure that our members are among the most elite sleuthing and killing groups in Malton. This, then, is our list of requirements, as posted in the forum.
Hello, potential employee!
If you've made it to this advanced stage of our recruitment program, you've probably met one of the most important requirements we hold for becoming a member of our elite organization: The Ability to Push Buttons! There are a few other things we do ask of all applicants however:
- 1. Free Running - It's a very important asset, because without it, you are going to end up tripping over your coat.
- 2. A Basic Experience Earning Skill - This can be a Combat Skill, a Healing Skill, or a Research (Necrotech) Skill. Just as long as it allows you to learn.
- 3. A Decent Understanding Of The English Language - No OMG WTF LULZ 1337, or we will pwn ur n00b as.
- 4. A Tie And (Obviously) A Greatcoat - We will give you a monthly dry-cleaning bonus, as Malton can be a little messy.
- 5. If you meet all these requirements, you will be sent a private memo containing some kind of mystery, which you must solve before we can accept your application.
Good luck all, and may the spirit of Holmes be with you.
Update, Regarding Entry-Level Recruit Positions: As of January 15th, 2008, lower-level survivors are now permitted to join the ranks on an entry-level basis. You are still welcome to roll with the GDA and to participate on the forum, but you will not be able to enter the War Room until you qualify to become an Inspector.
Contracting Us
You like what you've seen and wish to hire the GDA to come to YOUR suburb, mall, NT building, or pub? Well then you're going to have to follow some regulations, just like everybody else. Just as you must go to our shiny new forum to place an application for employment, you must go to the designated board to hire us.
Our services include, but are not limited to:
* Finding Missing Persons, And Resuscitating If Necessary * Property Defence And Monitoring * Personal Safety Assistance
We accept payments of the following:
* Brandy * Rum * Safety Behind Barricades (from the scores of ruffians outside) * Undying Gratitude and Loyalty * Favours of any nature * Photoshop Work and Wiki Goodies (such as templates)
Our Nemesis
Professor James Moriarty
The man himself. The Napoleon of Crime. The Master of Manipulation. The King of Corruption. The mind behind such acts of a devious nature as the Big Ben Caper and the Malton Disaster, wherein he infected scores of citizens, turning them into bloodthirsty ruffians. This project, Codename: Necrotech, has resulted in the loss of thousands of lives and the infection of several more. He has also destroyed entire shipments of brandy, tobacco, and cocaine, thus depriving scores of super sleuths from participating in their perfectly normal activities. Thus, he has made it personal.
He is currently missing in action, accompanied by his pet rat, Ratigan. His retrieval, defeat, and incarceration is our primary objective. Holmes would have it no other way.
If anyone has any leads regarding the location of Professor Moriarty, it would be best to notify us using our talk page.
Thank you for your cooperation in apprehending this vicious blight on the normally bright city of Malton. Together, we can stop him and turn back his armies of ruffians, either by jailing them, putting them down for good, or shipping them somewhere nice. Like France.
Ratigan
Where to start... where to start... Ratigan is the beloved pet "mouse" (which is a gross exaggeration... I mean look at the size of the thing! Look at the bones!) of Professor James Moriarty. In some sick, twisted way, he has insisted on his pet being referred to as "Professor Padraic Ratigan", which just doesn't make sense at all. Rats cannot be professors, and that is a scientific fact, by jove.
We know some facts about Ratigan, which may or may not aid us in our hunt for him and his master. Ratigan smokes like a fiend, and not even opium. Straight tobacco, which can kill a human if done enough... Moriarty also has a penchant for dressing him like a person. We do not yet know why, but we would like to find out at some point.
It is also rumored that Ratigan is the source of the virus that his master has used to enslave thousands of ruffians and endanger countless citizens. Ratigan is currently missing in action, most likely with his master, Moriarty. His retrieval and prompt drowning is a high priority. Though in an outside water source. You can't be too careful, you know.
Past Cases
A Scandal in Ackland
Ah yes, Ackland Mall. Site of the first case in the history of Greatcoat Detective Agency. High Chief Inspector GT and Chief Inspector Priz led the charge into the area, though Ackland Mall fell shortly before the detectives arrived. So they went to Richmond Hills and tried to establish a home base so that could throw out revives to the fallen defenders. Inspectors Scott Segal, Chemist, Prepaid Lenin, and Newhill all joined in the first mission, with Media Liaison Shoot 1st also on the case.
Alas, it was not to be. A strike by the Eastonwood Ferals left the Agency on our backs. Moriarty was gone and the scent was lost. We had to look elsewhere, regroup, and build ourselves up while looking for some clues as to his location.
Though it was not entirely a success, this mission taught the Agency several things and set several standards, including the following. The Detectives learned that they could work together as a cohesive unit effectively and efficiently, even with their small numbers. It also hailed the first time that the Agency established its base in a junkyard, which would become a theme for future adventures.
We also learned that sometimes, you just can't win. Ruffians in large masses are always going to break in, leaving your only hope being in your ability to kick them back out. We just didn't have the numbers. So we needed more men to don the greatcoats.
Hence our next endeavors.
A Study in Vinetown
In Ackland we were beaten off the trail by the foul ruffians of Moriarty, but any good detective knows that you need tenacity in order to become the very best. So, licking our wounds in Yagoton, we made our way to the southeast, specifically Vinetown. We had received a photo in the mail, depicting a handgun widely known to be wielded by that king amongst criminals, Professor James Moriarty. Vinetown was a suburb that was in dire need of repairs, and had a worthy population of survivors to attempt to recruit to the agency. We needed more men (and maybe some women) before we were to dive into the red zones of Malton once more.
With the Chief Inspector on sick leave, it was up to the rest of the GDA to establish a base near Baker Walk in the suburb, continuing the theme of basing ourselves in junkyards. One crafty survivor, Rafterbat, followed us from Richmond Hills, donning a greatcoat and joining the ranks with an opium party that was enjoyed by all. A few more recruits followed the new Inspector, rounding our numbers out very nicely.
The detectives were sitting in the junkyard, telling stories by the glow of the Christmas tree lights, when word came (from a survivor who had scrambled into the area) of an event known as the St. John's Massacre. Ruffians had besieged St. John's Cathedral and had desecrated the holy place. We could not stand for that, so we sought to evict the ruffians from their dwelling places in the cathedral. With other survivors the task was completed, and we began to find clues that would point towards Moriarty's whereabouts.
Results were... mixed at best. That is not to say that the detectives did not find anything. Inspectors kept looking high and low all across the suburb for clues, and found several from ruffians that they often beat the answers out of. Which leads to an interesting note: as we are an outside group from the many fine Police Departments, it is not excessive force when we beat ruffians, nor is it police brutality. We are not police, and these are diseased ruffians. Times change, and the laws do with them. Back on track, Inspector 23skidoo followed a trail of ruffians and notes all across Vinetown, Crowbank, Tollyton, and Gulsonside. The High Chief Inspector and the Inspectors sought to make sense of the maps, but they couldn't find anything.
It was then that it was suggested that the Greatcoat Detective Agency look deeper for the clues. Around the same time, a call was received from the Blackmore Building in Ridleybank, the ruffian homeland. Essentially Moriarty's backyard. And so, without even listening to what the caller needed, we packed our things and prepared to make the trip to Ridleybank. There was a league busting up from within them. A league of survivors, seeking to find some answers in the midst of the disaster in Malton.
And the Greatcoat Detective Agency would be with them, seeking answers to their own questions and seeking justice to the true scourge behind the outbreaks.
The Ridleybank League
The time had come for action... a new battle for the Blackmore Building in Ridleybank had begun. And the Greatcoat Detective Agency would be with them, for a while anyway. Originally we were there to find supplies and hints leading to Professor Moriarty's location and plans. But the battle overtook us, and so we became bogged down in the trenches with other fine survivors. While we fought on and on, Inspector Segal went eastward, investigating another large ruffian group in Pitneybank.
The mission in Pitneybank led to dead end upon dead end for the Inspector, as he simply stumbled upon the darker side of humanity. Survivors accusing other survivors of murder, which led to anarchy and foul play even as the foul ruffians banged on the barricades, seeking entrance.
His investigation leading to nothing, Inspector Segal turned back towards Ridleybank, hoping to contribute to the investigation there.
Inspectors investigated with great effort into various infamous buildings and spots in the suburb, including the birthplace of the Ridleybank Resistance Front, the most notorious ruffian crime syndicate in Malton. Their search was to no avail, but the detectives did not notice anyway, as a battle was happening around them! As all things, however, this had to come to an unfortunate end.
As the snowstorm flurried over Ridleybank, the ruffians suddenly found themselves... enhanced. The barricades were no longer as effective as they once were. The survivors of the disaster, though hardy, were in a fight that they could not win. The ruffians plowed through and slaughtered the defenders of Blackmore. The siege was over.
Fortunately for the Greatcoat Detective Agency, however, we were more or less out of Blackmore restocking when the building fell. As a result, we were able to move on to the next case rather quickly, which presented itself in a clue that pointed right to the ghost town of East Becktown. Specifically, to a spot in the suburb which was to be Malton's first synagogue, before Moriarty's ruffians ravaged it. This fit in with Moriarty's previous hints, all which somehow involved religious symbols and places.
We were on the move again, changed forever by the alliances and friendships made in Ridleybank. We went now into more unfamiliar terrain, though now on our shoulders we wore a small spade badge, the symbol of the Bastards of Blackmore.
Quotes
"They say that genius is an infinite capacity for taking pains... It's a very bad definition, but it does apply to detective work." - Sherlock Holmes
"A man should keep his little brain attic stocked with all the furniture that he is likely to use, and the rest he can put away in the lumber-room of his library, where he can get it if he wants it." - Sherlock Holmes
"When you have eliminated all the impossible, then whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth... unless it isn't. In which case you would create a paradox that would tear our world asunder and send it screaming into a dimension of pain and suffering. I rather hope that isn't the case." - High Chief Inspector GT
""There is no branch of detective science which is so important and so much neglected as the art of tracing footsteps." - Sherlock Holmes
“It is quite a three pipe problem, and I beg that you won’t speak to me for fifty minutes.” - an Inspector who wishes- at the time being- to remain anonymous
