Talk:The Randoms/Enterprises

Welcome to Randoms Enterprises- Wikipedia Centre

Good morning/afternoon/evening. Randoms Enterprises automated call centre for all your Doll related troubles.

• If your doll is trying to kill you: Please leave a message at 1 now
• If your doll's head has become detached and you need a replacement: Please leave a message at 2 now
• If you are enquiring about the Angry Hamish Doll: Please leave a message at 3 now
• If you are enquiring about the company in general: Please leave a message at 4 now
• If you wish to make a complaint: Please leave a message at 5 now

Have a nice day :)

1: Doll is Trying to kill me.

Uh... Hi. I'm calling from near Buckley right now. I bought your doll the other day, and... Um... Now it' got me cornered in a closet. It has a 10:1 scale knife, (mumbling- I don't remember buying the knife...) and it nearly took my eye out. If you could get back to me that would be great...--Labine50 ^MH|^ME|^TNT'07 22:29, 7 April 2007 (BST)

Hello Mr Labine. Thank you for your message. It sounds like your Hamish doll is one of the first models which was prone to murderous outbreaks. We are dispatching a Hamish Pacifier right now to you. Its being delivered by carrier pigeon and should be with you in roughly 43 minutes and 13 and half seconds. In the meantime, try and calm him by singing "Flower O' Scotland" or throw small pieces of Cheese out to him. When our Pacifier arrives, he will proceed to wrestle Hamish to the floor and inject some cheese based sedative into him, which should calm him for long enough to re-wire his personality chip from Murderous to just slightly peeved. Please remain calm and thank you for choosing Randoms Enterprises. You have been charged £30 for this call. Have a nice day. -- Cheeseman ^W!ASBTalk 23:24, 7 April 2007 (BST)

3: Where's my f**king Hamish Doll!!

Im a zombie from the mall tour and i was juut wondering.. where the F#%K is my doll... i mean. atleast you could throw it out a window. I mean, I'd hate to have to break in and steal on myself. Lets just hope it doesnt come down to that. Zaneus 04:08, 7 April 2007 (BST)

Thank you for your question. Your satisfaction is important to us. For the fastest response time, we advise you drop by our offices in Shuttlebank. --Shinosa 15:31, 7 April 2007 (BST)

Why is your office so far away from your prime distributer? Thats just strange to me. Oh well i trashed every store in the mall and couldnt find one. I want a refund! You can pay me in brains if you want.

Our office is in Shuttlebank as its the only place we could find that has a decent swivel chair left for my desk. Whats the point in being a CEO if I dinnae get a spinney chair? By the way, if you refuse to move on we'll have no choice but to execute Plan H. -- Cheeseman ^W!ASBTalk 22:11, 8 April 2007 (BST)

5: Here, I've got a wee bone tae pick with you Jimmy.

This Doll was entirely too crunchy and not at all filled with Brainy goodness. I only managed to get to eat a few of them during the midnight massacre sale at Buckley Mall and I found them to be crunchy and disgusting. Also when I ate Mr Buckley Mall he did not in fact have any Hamish the Cheese eating Scotsman with Kilt lifting action dolls on his person at all. Nor were his brains particularly tasty. --Electrasol 03:54, 9 April 2007 (BST)