UDWiki:Administration/Arbitration/Ashley Valentine vs Karloth vois

DevilAsh V Karloth Vois

Karloth has annoyed me lately by not sending me 1 (one) ginger biscuit in the post, even though he promised to do so outside of the wiki. He has since then decided to rub it in my face via my user talk page and has openly vandalised it.

He also told me that he will not be sending me 1 (one) McVities Ginger Snap. You may have noticed that this biscuit differs from the other previously listed biscuit, which gives me hope that he is sending me at least 1 (one) ginger biscuit in registered post and it is just taking too long to arrive because of the recent bad weather in the UK.

My demands, and hopes, for the outcome of the arbitration session are that Karloth be banned from writing on my userpage and on that of my userpage talk page for a period of time no less than 2 (two) weeks and no greater than 2 (two) weeks and 5 (five) minutes. I realise that you arbitrators have no jurisdiction outside of the wiki, but I would also like for him to get a stern telling off on the biscuit front. The offending party has also been informed of my decision to enter arbitration.

I will accept any arbitrator except from the following:

• Axe Hack
• boxy
• DanceDanceRevolution
• Giles Sednik
• Honestmistake
• Maverick
• Misanthropy
• PoD
• Rosslessness
• VVV
• Yonnua

--Ash  ^{|  T  |  яя  |} 22:27, 4 January 2011 (UTC)

I would like to put myself forward as an arbitrator. --Karloth Vois ^¯\(°_o)/¯ 22:28, 4 January 2011 (UTC)

I refuse on the grounds that you are not a listed arbitrator, and the only one I am currently willing to accept is myself. --Ash  ^{|  T  |  яя  |} 22:29, 4 January 2011 (UTC)

Then I accept you as arbitrator on the proviso that you accept me as your immediate superior and incur my biscuit debts. --Karloth Vois ^¯\(°_o)/¯ 22:31, 4 January 2011 (UTC)

This is pointless, off to arbitration we go.--Ash  ^{|  T  |  яя  |} 22:34, 4 January 2011 (UTC)

I can perform this abortion for you if you want--/~Rakuen~\^Talk I Still Love Grim 22:39, 4 January 2011 (UTC)

I am willing to accept Rakuen as an arbitrator. If you are too, Karl, I will delete the below case. --Ash  ^{|  T  |  яя  |} 22:41, 4 January 2011 (UTC)

You can't just delete cases, even ones brought by yourself. Unless this whole thing is a joke, in which it's vandalism. If not, the case needs to archived.--Thadeous Oakley Talk 22:42, 4 January 2011 (UTC)

Though you should probably just merge them, and delete the header...--Thadeous Oakley Talk 22:43, 4 January 2011 (UTC)

I am willing to accept Rakuen as arbitrator and even more willing for DevilAsh to delete the case below and get banned (BANNED). --Karloth Vois ^¯\(°_o)/¯ 22:43, 4 January 2011 (UTC)

I am happy with this resolution, sans banning. What do we do now? --Ash  ^{|  T  |  яя  |} 22:45, 4 January 2011 (UTC)

Rakuen begins the case, you vandalous cur. --Karloth Vois ^¯\(°_o)/¯ 22:46, 4 January 2011 (UTC)

YES--/~Rakuen~\^Talk I Still Love Grim 22:51, 4 January 2011 (UTC)

Dammit WOOT it's ages since i got to arbitrate. You owe me a biscuit! --Honestmistake 23:23, 4 January 2011 (UTC)

12 venusian days = 2916 earthly days. --VVV ^RPMBG 23:29, 4 January 2011 (UTC)

STATEMENTS FROM THE KARL PARTY

At night time I like to turn off my bedroom light and pretend my name is Karl, so I presume you are the man that has been listening to me during this time and I will post my statements in here. Karl (not me, the other one) has vandalised my user page and said he likes it. He then said that he won't be sending me a biscuit that he owes me. I would like to know why, and possibly get a ban on him from contacting me on the wiki. --Ash  ^{|  T  |  яя  |} 22:59, 4 January 2011 (UTC)

Interesting... I would like to commend you on your ability to lie, it is very good skill to have.--/~Rakuen~\^Talk I Still Love Grim 23:10, 4 January 2011 (UTC)

I am indeed the real Karl party (ALL THE TIME) and you're not invited. I sent the biscuits but I assume a postman ate them and will be filing a frivolous lawsuit with Consignia. I assume DevilAsh also killed and ate the postman I sent him, so I guess he consumed the biscuit anyways. I would like DevilAsh banned for a period of no less than 12 venusian days. --Karloth Vois ^¯\(°_o)/¯ 23:11, 4 January 2011 (UTC)

You sent the biscuits? If you are being honest, then I will not only waver you writing in my section but I will also consider wavering the whole case. --Ash  ^{|  T  |  яя  |} 23:17, 4 January 2011 (UTC)

STATEMENTS FROM THE INFERIOR PARTY

yes

STATEMENTS FROM THE RAKUEN PARTY (IE: BEST PARTY)

Ashley Valentine, alias DevilAsh, is to hereby be banned for, and I quote: "no less than 12 venusian days."

The court is adjourned, may God save your souls--/~Rakuen~\^Talk I Still Love Grim 23:19, 4 January 2011 (UTC)

I accept this decision. --Karloth Vois ^¯\(°_o)/¯ 23:24, 4 January 2011 (UTC)

I must object, there has been no statements from an inferior party. --Ash  ^{|  T  |  яя  |} 23:25, 4 January 2011 (UTC)

And who's fault is that?--/~Rakuen~\^Talk I Still Love Grim 23:31, 4 January 2011 (UTC)

---

(Merged) Karl is trying to put himself forward as an arbitrator even though he is not listed and I think he will be bias in his judgements. I will accept any arbitrator to resolve this dispute, and the offending party has been informed.--Ash  ^{|  T  |  яя  |} 22:34, 4 January 2011 (UTC)

The history of arbitration is littered with Arbitration cases run by people who were not listed in the blue box. Why not read some of the archive? Oh and also the vandalism cases about spamming up Admin pages. They're interesting as well. --Rosslessness^{Want a Location Image?} 22:36, 4 January 2011 (UTC)

I would like to put myself forwards as an arbitrator. --Karloth Vois ^¯\(°_o)/¯ 22:36, 4 January 2011 (UTC)

I accept Ross as an arbitrator for he seems to have a great knowledge of the wiki --Ash  ^{|  T  |  яя  |} 22:38, 4 January 2011 (UTC)

If this is some sort of joke, this case will likely be deleted and you may both be put up for vandalism for spamming admin sections. --Thadeous Oakley Talk 22:38, 4 January 2011 (UTC)

(Ross beat me to it) --Thadeous Oakley Talk 22:39, 4 January 2011 (UTC)

This has been thrown out because we could settle on an arbitrator for the above case.--Ash  ^{|  T  |  яя  |} 22:45, 4 January 2011 (UTC)

You've obviously never seen these two go at it before. They're like rabid spider monkeys. They jump on each other over nothing. Its not something to joke about, its a serious matter. I've tried to get them to be friends again but it didn't work out too well--/~Rakuen~\^Talk I Still Love Grim 22:47, 4 January 2011 (UTC)

If you're going to fuck around, at least make this case its correct sub-page, like you're meant to.--Yonnua Koponen ^{Talk ! Contribs} 23:00, 4 January 2011 (UTC)

Rakuen is the arbitrator, but I will convey the information to him. --Ash  ^{|  T  |  яя  |} 23:07, 4 January 2011 (UTC)

HOW THE FUCK DID I MISS THIS WHY DID NO ONE WAKE ME. 00:16, 5 January 2011 (UTC)≈

Karloth also promised me a biscuit a fair time ago. I would like him to be reminded of his obligations as one Chief Biscuit, and to buy me a pint at his local. Failure to do so will result in muffins. Good day. -- Adward  11:41, 5 January 2011 (UTC)

Motion for a new Arbitrator

Rakuen is being biased by only listening to statements from the real and fake Karl party, and so I motion that we had a new arbitrator in the proceedings. --Ash  ^{|  T  |  яя  |} 20:27, 5 January 2011 (UTC)

Only if I can appoint my successor --/~Rakuen~\^Talk I Still Love Grim 20:39, 5 January 2011 (UTC)

Accepted only on the grounds that your successor is on the list of active arbitrators and is none of the ones I said I don't want. --Ash  ^{|  T  |  яя  |} 00:46, 6 January 2011 (UTC)

I volunteer and promise to become inherently biased towards both parties.-- Adward  22:33, 8 January 2011 (UTC)

Fine by me, if you airmail me a tulip and a poem. --Ash  ^{|  T  |  яя  |} 14:54, 11 January 2011 (UTC)

Would a poem about tulips suffice? -- Adward  22:08, 11 January 2011 (UTC)

Only if it's written in an anapestic tetrameter. --Ash  ^{|  T  |  яя  |} 22:48, 11 January 2011 (UTC)