Malton Medical Staff/Staff Bio: Difference between revisions

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== List of Staff ==
== List of Staff ==
[[Image:UDMMS_duct1.jpg‎|right|thumb|300px]]
[[Image:UDMMS_duct1.jpg|right|thumb|300px]]
[[Image:MMSSTD1.jpg‎|right|thumb|300px]]
[[Image:MMSSTD1.jpg|right|thumb|300px]]
[[Image:Cocainetooth.jpg‎|right|thumb|300px]]
[[Image:Cocainetooth.jpg|right|thumb|300px]]


The current list of full-time, active Malton Medical Staff:
=== Bonā fidē Active Members ===


''If the name you seek isn't on the list, and you have a complaint about them, they are not ours. Contact us and we'll discuss it.''
''If the name you seek isn't on the list, and you have a complaint about them, they are not ours. Contact us and we'll discuss it.''


* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=917027 lostfire]: A fire that is lost. Prometheus stole it.
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=856277 Imgonnadiesoon]: (Sunflower) Head of Security for the Malton Medical Staff
*[http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=2232082 Zedd Unicron]: Bearer of the almighty tinsel. Seems to believe all fashionable ladies should wear kilts.
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=2309938 Lucky Gumi]:The MMS is lucky to have her!
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=911000 Cain Cohen]: Attorney for the MMS
* [https://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=2072959 Death Clown]: Specializes in musical therapy although whether in giving or receiving is still a mystery. 
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=894724 Richard Cord]: Mysteriously Returned.
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1332521 mastergeneral]: Tennis Champion of Malton
=== Interns ===


* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=822947 Morgueasm] also known as Mrs. Morg: The Head Aministrator for the MMS.
* [https://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1670684 Cecilia Potter]: Buongiorno!
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=989918 Nellie Harmon]: Chief Nurse
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1003610 Zombie Fetish]: Chief Administrator for [[St. Ethelbert's Hospital (Roftwood)|St. Ethelbert's Hospital]]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=894724 Richard Cord]: Chief Administrator for [[Eligius General Hospital]]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1076799 Saralan]: Head Nurse for [[Eligius General Hospital]]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=856277 Imgonnadiesoon]: (Sunflower) Head Nurse for [[St. Ethelbert's Hospital (Roftwood)|St. Ethelbert's Hospital]]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=660765 OmnusOmega]: Sole Resident of Maximum Security Psychiatric Ward
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=942753 JojoRomero]: Revivifier and Chef
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=866350 uprescue]: Doctor and Security
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1014329 Doctor Chunkman]: Doctor
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=795872 Monde]: Ninja
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=968664 P Fletcher]: Ex Military Doctor
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1046693 Nurse Christie]: Nurse
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1000965 Bruce77Willis]: Security and lone member of Alcoholics Anonymous
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=871516 debeselis]: Hospital Security
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1078001 Garwalla]: Resident DJ
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=835235 Jallus]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1062009 Pyte]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=850769 Benton T Fraser]: Doctor and Security
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1077457 daemon13] Personal bodyguard to Saralan
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1267771 Alvy Fang]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1255859 Ishida Uryuu]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1191746 xavii]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=911000 Cain Cohen]: Attorney for the MMS
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1136995 Araldia]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=843540 feel'nstiff]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1278986 Mr Doctorz]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=868776 Inkface]: Doctor and Security, currently established in Gulsonside
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1328967 StormGuru]: Pirate
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1073805 Mikhayl Selmas] Barkeep for the MMS


[[image:MMS_Tourniquet.jpg‎|center]]
* [https://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=2364143 Grahtzee]: Is on a quest for cleanliness.
* [https://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=907909 Dr Tank]: Putting the Muscle Mass Sets into the MMS!


==== Retired or Missing in Action ====
=== Fans ===


There are also several people who help the Malton Medical Staff and move around with them, but have not (yet) requested to become a member of Staff:
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=307563 Cheese Knight] Should stop by for a chat more often!
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=884817 Professor Piiroinen] Academic researcher for the MMS
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=858937 Banokles]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=977935 Rancid Carcass]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=860917 Detective Valentine] Principal crime investigator for the MMS
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1240754 Masonic Wereblender] aka: "Blendy" The folks at the Zoo sent this over as a wedding present. He's also a good addition to the barricades!
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1249695 Amazing Sasquatch] Resident Cryptid
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1030227 Mason Tsuchimoto]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=901944 Primo Beer]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=942395 Darma] of [[Zrmbrrh hra grh-grh!]], awarded the MMS Merit Award for helping us during a recent battle.
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1095327 Dazaraz] of [[Zrmbrrh hra grh-grh!]], a new friend that hasn't eaten any of us! (That we know of)
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1524460 GBGames]
[[image:MMS_Tourniquet.jpg|center]]
=== Retired or Missing in Action ===
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1031155 Charles E Winchester]: A Fan since our days in Roftwood
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1774314 Alicia Huberman]: Excellent chef and alcohol connoisseur providing important gastronomical support during the healing process.
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1650583 Tom Plisken]: Hasn't shaved since the apocalypse.
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=2292690 Jeffery Runner]: Wide eyed and finally free running!
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=2299345 Chicken Legsalot]: Chicken by name but not by nature!
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1661163 Harold Butterbee]: Warm as the floral print Hawaiian shirt they wear.
*[http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=2307271 Briaaanz]: A mysterious recent addition that traveled to Roftwood from the far off outer reaches of the city. Likes running races.
*[http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=2335096 TokiGrimsidhe]: Wait what's this? Curiouser and curiouser! This figure's presence fills the room as if a legend had stepped off the pages and into reality.
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=2295839 Nate01]: Has a big heart soon to be trained in the art of chainsaw surgery. Prospective but hasn't filled out his paperwork yet so not official.
*[http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=2315586 Dianne Davis]: Improv teacher turned former improv teacher/failed actress turned medical intern.
* [http://urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1086237 Steven Cooper]: Veteran Malton medical practitioner lured into transferring to the MMS by booze and the dental plan.
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1549361 Ultimate Ninja]: Can apply bandages without being seen.
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=2275534 Tess Eks]: One eye won't stop this armoured medic.
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=2296849 Mister Cuddles]: Medical Clown that always brings lollipops to the party/surgery.
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=542320 kensain]: Old hand, new recruit.
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1684225 Mazzola]: Ex-Fire Cheif of the [http://wiki.urbandead.com/index.php/Membry_Lane_Fire_Station Membry Lane Fire Dept]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1685261 itSheepdawg]: Just an average joe before the outbreak. Luck and intuition have gotten him this far.
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1078001 Garwalla]: Resident DJ
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1019115 Theresa Evermoore]: Head Nurse for the MMS Outreach in [[Edgecombe]] until she came home.
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=2265484 RumbleBoy]: Eager New Security Guard.
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1278986 Mr Doctorz]: Still technically an observer. Former Head Administrator.
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1076799 Saralan] Retired Head Nurse
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1077457 daemon13]: Retired Personal bodyguard to Saralan
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=868776 Inkface]: - MIA
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1073805 Mikhayl Selmas]: Barkeep for the MMS - MIA
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=65751 allenj81]: MIA
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1426157 Anton Hammerstrike]: MIA
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1136995 Araldia]: MIA* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=94474 Chynn]: Armed Revivification Specialist - MIA
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1014329 Doctor Chunkman]: His Chunkdafied Chunkmaster of the Interplanetary Chunk. And stuff. - MIA
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=822947 Morgueasm] also known as Mrs. Morg: Now resting peacefully in Roftwood.
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=801891 GreenWing]: The first Head Administrator of the Malton Medical Staff
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=801891 GreenWing]: The first Head Administrator of the Malton Medical Staff
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=923496 King Belgarion]: Currently on sanity pills
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=968664 P Fletcher]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1046693 Nurse Christie]: Nurse
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1191746 xavii]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=870557 officerchris]: Doctor and Security
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=870557 officerchris]: Doctor and Security
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=917692 Tripor]: Nurse in Training
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=917692 Tripor]: Nurse in Training
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* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=914403 Food To Go]: Doctor and Security
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=914403 Food To Go]: Doctor and Security
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=969506 Aiden Brandermilt]: Nurse and Chef
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=969506 Aiden Brandermilt]: Nurse and Chef
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=923496 King Belgarion]: Doctor and Security (currently on sanity pills)
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1019115 Theresa Evermoore]: Head Nurse for the MMS Outreach [[Edgecombe]]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1008040 georgia peaches]: Nurse
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1008040 georgia peaches]: Nurse
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=859649 GoodAgs]: Hospital Security
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=859649 GoodAgs]: Hospital Security
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=889284 Doctor567]: Doctor and Security
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=889284 Doctor567]: Doctor and Security
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=917027 lostfire]: Nurse in training
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=935015 oOEnturaOo]: Nurse
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=935015 oOEnturaOo]: Nurse
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=853959 Xava] of [[Zrmbrrh hra grh-grh!]]
 
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=843540 feel'nstiff] of [[Zrmbrrh hra grh-grh!]]
 
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=926805 BRRAAAINS] of [[Zrmbrrh hra grh-grh!]]
=== Fans ===
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1349093 Sexy Lizzie]: Probate - MIA
 
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1102681 Doctor Strap On]: Probate - MIA
There are also several people who help the Malton Medical Staff and move around with them, but have not (yet) requested to become a member of Staff:
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=835235 Jallus] His last act was to take himself off the list.
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=884817 Professor Piiroinen] Academic researcher for the MMS
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1267771 Alvy Fang]: Head Administrator
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=858937 Banokles]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1328967 StormGuru]: Chief Nurse and Head of Security
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=977935 Rancid Carcass]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1003610 Zombie Fetish]: Mistress of Zebra Stripes
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=860917 Detective Valentine] Principal crime investigator for the MMS
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=795872 Monde]: Ninja
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1240754 Masonic Wereblender] aka: "Blendy" The folks at the Zoo sent this over as a wedding present. He's also a good addition to the barricades!
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1255859 Ishida Uryuu]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1249695 Amazing Sasquatch] Resident Cryptid
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=989918 Nellie Harmon]: Retired Head Administrator
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1030227 Mason Tsuchimoto]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1381510 QBeeII]: like a mobile [[Necrotech Building|NT]]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=901944 Primo Beer]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=829467 Morganlefey]: liason to The Fortress
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1458586 Jocularity]: The reincarnation of Fletcher
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1431237 DrJoshKidder] Sneak attack specialist. Watch out for his deadly bandage attack.
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1454941 Jack Wang]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1534093 Ballsy McRockschwitz]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1485212 Doctor'seuss]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1511403 silverblaiid]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1224952 Daren Elaine]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1497230 Aucissa]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1490878 Beta Maxis]: Staff Archivist
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1550383 Dr Gatchaman]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1559574 Sheppen]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1511403 silverblaiid]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1446252 MetalNinja]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1508016 Doctor von Scientist]: Probate
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1497499 HellishSlayer]: Probate
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1556136 Idina Legba]: Probate
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1624782 Dr Dusk]: Probate
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1607795 The 9th Doctor]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=942753 JojoRomero]: Revivifier and Chef
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1062009 Pyte]: No longer MIA.
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1237598 Sunday Addams]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1383381 Nicholas Castlefield]: Posh Security
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1539110 Framistan]: Mildly surprised. Also known to conduct all sorts of experiments with the zombies.
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1729182 XChro]: Makes kick-arse brownies and is a ninja. Thinks Mazzola is very manly...
* [http://urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1676739 scatterkeir]: Some say he has a dark secret. Some say that that dark secret is that he has no dark secret. Some people think those people are jerks.
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1978407 Katherine Bishop] Local supplier of gin and tonics. They make the apocalypse more bearable.
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1283458 AngelicChaos]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1923844 Dr Blake Down]  


=== Friends and Allies ===
=== Friends and Allies ===
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* [[Team Awesome]]
* [[Team Awesome]]
* [[Malton College of Medicine]]
* [[Malton College of Medicine]]
* [[Axes High]]
* The [[VZW]]
* The [[VZW]]
* [[(To The) Four Winds]]
* [[(To The) Four Winds]]
* [[The Fortress]]
* [[The Fortress]]
* The [[The Bureau for the Annihilation, Conversion and Habilitation of Zombies|BACHZ]]


=== Undead Fans ===
=== Undead Fans ===
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Believe it or not, the Malton Medical Staff have their undead fans too! Below lists the zombies and groups that have a particular affinity for us, by visiting us persistently or just being memorable in their own special way:
Believe it or not, the Malton Medical Staff have their undead fans too! Below lists the zombies and groups that have a particular affinity for us, by visiting us persistently or just being memorable in their own special way:


* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=853959 Xava] of [[Zrmbrrh hra grh-grh!]], usually likes to dance around the generator before destroying it.
* The [[RRF]], especially [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1076930 Zoey Zarg] of the strike team, [[Team America]]. I'll also add [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=738142 Lord Moloch]] because he can't seem to stay away, either.
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=843540 feel'nstiff] of [[Zrmbrrh hra grh-grh!]], ''was'' torn between life and unlife because of his infatuation with Ms. Morg. Is now married to her and has joined MMS officially.
 
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=926805 BRRAAAINS] of [[Zrmbrrh hra grh-grh!]], has high aspirations, usually because he always goes for the Head Administrator first
* Our new (rather emo) friend, dubbed [http://urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1448376 Sparklybones]. A feral zombie who found himself on the wrong side of undeath and dropped in to wreak havoc. | '''Darkbones''' said "*sighs. You guys really know how to ruin a shooting spree."
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=942395 Darma] of [[Zrmbrrh hra grh-grh!]], awarded recently with the MMS Merit Award for helping us during a recent battle.
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1095327 Dazaraz] of [[Zrmbrrh hra grh-grh!]], a new friend that hasn't eaten any of us! (That we know of)


=== Special Mentions ===
=== Special Mentions ===
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''Malton Medical Staff ''really do'' spread the love, and we're not bothered whether it's to the dead or undead either:''
''Malton Medical Staff ''really do'' spread the love, and we're not bothered whether it's to the dead or undead either:''


* A special mention goes out to [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=843540 feel'nstiff] who has decided to join MMS full-time!
[[Image:TA9-4.jpg|left|thumb|100px]] A lovely drawing from Zoey Zarg of her group attacking MMS at St. Eth's. Isn't it sweet? Consider this the refrigerator, Zoey! <3


== Staff Interviews ==
== Staff Interviews ==
[[Malton Medical Staff/MMS Staff Interviews Archive I|Archive I]]


=== Interview with [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=989918 Nellie Harmon] ===
''New Interviews coming soon!''
 
''Interviewed in January 2008''
 
<div style="color:#C20000;font-size:small">'''What is your position in the ranks of the Staff and how do you feel about it?'''</div>
I am the Head Nurse at Eligius General Hospital.  Well I have only held the position for about a week now so I am still adjusting to the role.
 
<div style="color:#C20000;font-size:small">'''How did you end up joining the Staff and why?'''</div>
When I first arrived in Malton I fell in with Monde and he kinda showed my around. He was on his way back from an ambulance run and I joined him. I was looking for a place to go in Malton and I felt like this was a place I would fit in.
 
<div style="color:#C20000;font-size:small">'''What new feature will you be adding to Eligius to commemorate your promotion in the staff?'''</div>
Not sure yet, but I will think of something. ;)
 
<div style="color:#C20000;font-size:small">'''What's the strangest thing you've witnessed?'''</div>
Well, thats a tough one. I would have to say the platypi that the guys made at St Ethelberts.
 
<div style="color:#C20000;font-size:small">'''What are you wearing and why?'''</div>
I am wearing a white nurse's uniform dress with platform boots. It is cut about like Ms Morg's with a white doctor's coat over it. Originally I lost a bet with Monde back in October and had to spend a month in it. The boots were a Christmas gift from Zombie Fetish.  It took me a month to get the hang of them.
 
<div style="color:#C20000;font-size:small">'''How has being a part of MMS changed your outlook on this otherwise grim situation?'''</div>
At least someone in town is still cracking jokes that aren't from Gallows Humor. There is a place to go where, usually, there is something more than survival.
 
<div style="color:#C20000;font-size:small">'''What do you think are some of the Pro's and Con's of being a woman in Malton?'''</div>
Well the Pros are harder to define.  Finding decent clothing would be a pro since there are fewer women in Malton than men. The Con I would have to say is being hit on by a lot of the guys in town.
 
=== Interview with [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1003610 Zombie Fetish] ===
 
''Interviewed in January 2008''
 
<div style="color:#C20000;font-size:small">'''What is your position in the ranks of the Staff and how do you feel about it?'''</div>
I am currently (as of...a few days ago?) the Head Vice Nursey for St. Ethelberts Hospital.
 
<div style="color:#C20000;font-size:small">'''How did you end up joining the staff and why?'''</div>
My first days in Malton were very boring.  I roamed around the burbs for a few days.  I ended up in Heytown and I was being attacked by a zombie.  I saw a hospital(Sixtus General Hospital) and entered.  Upon entry I was quickly healed and GreenWing welcomed me.  The group were the chattiest lot I had ever run into! I asked to join and I was given a trial run.  I became a full fledged member after Ms. Morg threw her Rosary beads at me.
 
<div style="color:#C20000;font-size:small">'''What new feature will you be adding to St. Eth's to commemorate your promotion in the staff?'''</div>
I cant do much as of now since Im saving my energy for cading, killing, dumping, and healing...but after that comes partying, so I will make the announcement during a game of Strip Twister by placing "ZF is now Head Nurse" on the color circles...hopefully that wont be too much of a distraction.
 
<div style="color:#C20000;font-size:small">'''What do you wear and how did you come by it?'''</div>
I wear a zombie mask, a Santa hat, black jacket, black skirt, and black shirt.  My clothes are spattered with blood and a bit torn, but Im used to it.  Oh and I also wear 5 1/2 inch platform boots.  They are sexy, and I kick ass better.  A platform boot to the face would surely break it!  I also wear a collar with a broken chain dangling from it because before the outbreak I served as a slave.
 
<div style="color:#C20000;font-size:small">'''What's the strangest thing you've witnessed?'''</div>
I have witnessed many strange things, from kidney tossing, to multicolored animals, to dumping ice cream on parrots, so it would be difficult to just choose one.
 
<div style="color:#C20000;font-size:small">'''Animals appear to play a big role with the Staff in St. Eth's. Tell us about your pet and how you found him.'''</div>
Do they ever!  I'd say almost everybody in the MMS has a pet thanks to Sunflower.  I have a few myself.  An octopuss named Olli who came from the sewers and is very fond of Sunflower's neck, a black pug named Bela who found me in the park when I was zombified and wouldnt stop following me, and a deer that fits in the palm of your hand  named Swan...after the unofficial leader of The Warrior's.  Swan was given to me as a gift from Sunflower.
 
<div style="color:#C20000;font-size:small">'''What do you think are some of the Pro's and Con's of being a woman in Malton?'''</div>
Pro's are, since you are a woman, you can easily obtain certain materialistic items from men such as jewelery, clothes, and even acid spitting platypi. If you give someone an order, and they dont listen, you can always kick them in the face with your platforms, step on their feet with your stiletto's or just throw a shoe at them. Another pro is that women are often complimented in Malton, which boosts their ego and makes them feel better about themselves.
 
The only Con I can think of is being inappropriately groped or worse by a drunk or a jerk off who will pay dearly if they show their face again...a shotgun is very unforgiving.
 
Oh! And another Pro I can think of is if a woman is attacked or groped by a jerk, all her mates will happily and vengefully go after that person, making their lives a living hell!
 
=== Interview with [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1019115 Theresa Evermoore] ===
 
''Interviewed in January 2008''
 
<div style="color:#C20000;font-size:small">'''What is your position in the ranks of the Staff and how do you feel about it?'''</div>
I am a Malton Medical Staff nurse and an Eyeball Specialist. I suppose sometimes I double as hospital security as well. I believe strongly in the Hippocratic oath, even though I pack shotguns alongside my first aid kits. I'm quite pleased with my position here at the hospital, St. Ethelbert's is a great place to work. The only bummer is that sometimes we get patients without a sense of humor.
 
<div style="color:#C20000;font-size:small">'''How did you end up joining the Staff and why?'''</div>
In my very early days in Malton, I had no idea what I was doing, and I was completely lost on the streets. Every building I passed by had been barricaded so heavily that I could not enter. After I spent my first night on the streets (and survived, surprisingly enough), I was jumped by an active zed. He/She/It chased me through Roftwood until I ended up at St. Ethelbert's hospital. The cades were low enough for survivors to enter, and the people operating the hospital were very hospitable and talkative. After a few days of hanging around St. Ethelbert's and slowly leveling up, I had made friends with several of the staff. It was then that I asked if I could be inducted in the ranks, and Morgueasm made me an official nurse-in-training.
 
<div style="color:#C20000;font-size:small">'''What is the strangest thing you've witnessed?'''</div>
A six month old baby installing and fueling up a portable generator in the hospital. I know we all gotta pull our own weight, but that generator had to be at least 10 times heavier than that baby girl. Oh, and recently I was lucky enough to witness a lab monkey putting the business end of a shotgun to group of zombies with surgical precision. That time ZF kept whacking poor P Fletcher on the head with an empty tray counts as pretty strange too.
 
<div style="color:#C20000;font-size:small">'''Animals appear to play a big role in the Staff at St. Eth's. Tell us about your pets and how you found them.'''</div>
I keep a contingency of emergency kiwi birds on me at all times. I wouldn't call them pets, per se, but survivors and zeds both react amicably when they get cute little kiwi birds thrown at them. I find them in the factory next door to St. Ethelbert's Hospital. I wonder what they were manufacturing there prior to the outbreak...
 
<div style="color:#C20000;font-size:small">'''How has being a part of MMS changed your outlook on this otherwise grim situation?'''</div>
Humor and helpfulness still exists in Malton. I've even seen violent zeds reform their naughty ways so they could come and be in the warm company of pretty young nurses. Sometimes it's easy to forget that there's legions of hungry zombies out there wanting to munch on us, all because of the great atmosphere that the MMS puts on.
 
<div style="color:#C20000;font-size:small">'''So, What are you wearing right now?'''</div>
A burgundy camisole and boyshorts. It's almost bedtime! Should I put on my nurse's cap?
 
<div style="color:#C20000;font-size:small">'''What do you think are some of the Pro's and Con's of being a woman in Malton?'''</div>
Well first of all, the fellas, for as much as I love them, just can't fill a pvc nurse's gown quite like us ladies. Fighting zeds, healing survivors, and looking great while we do it. And though I like being showered with attention, it can be annoying to fend off a guy's flirty advances when I'm busy wheeling empty gurneys to the rapidly collapsing barricades. But you have to take the good with the bad, we are the hottest nurses in Malton, afterall! Check out our calendar. *winks*
 
=== Interview with [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=822947 Ms. Morg] ===
 
''Interviewed in July 2007''
 
<div style="color:#C20000;font-size:small">'''What is your position in the ranks of the Staff?'''</div>
I'm the Head Nurse, of course, and you can take that any way you like.
 
<div style="color:#C20000;font-size:small">'''How did you end up joining the Staff and why?'''</div>
I stumbled in and Green was quick to show me around, I didn't just want to be the damsel in distress, so I started working hard to heal people. I remember it was a chaotic night, probably in the middle of a break-in, and Green appointed me Head Nurse. Why not?
 
<div style="color:#C20000;font-size:small">'''Your actual name is Morgueasm, how did you come by the name, Ms. Morg?'''</div>
I like making things stiff.
 
<div style="color:#C20000;font-size:small">'''How do you normally greet important visitors to the Hospital?'''</div>
Confetti and Gymnastics! Always!
 
<div style="color:#C20000;font-size:small">'''What is the most unusual thing you have put in the IV drips in the Hospital?'''</div>
There was that one time Green asked me to dilute some rubbing alcohol with fruit juice. Did I put that in an IV though? After ingesting that, how would I ever remember anything ever again?  Quite recently, we did put Champagne in the IVs. You get drunk your way, we'll get drunk our way.
 
<div style="color:#C20000;font-size:small">'''What do you wear and how did you come by it?'''</div>
I wear a white, low-cut, PVC nurse's dress. My other clothes just got so bloody and Green picked it up for me on one of his mall runs. He says it's handy because it's wipe-clean, I suspect there's more to it than that! ;)
 
<div style="color:#C20000;font-size:small">'''How do you feel about being the Head Nurse, the second in command?'''</div>
I'm surrounded every day by strong men with axes and guns, what is there NOT to like?
 
<div style="color:#C20000;font-size:small">'''What was your darkest hour?'''</div>
The Mall Tour had some very dark times. I've never been through a siege before, and it just seemed hopeless when half of us were dead or dying and without FAKs. I think I (along with the rest of the staff, patients, fans) have learned a lot from that experience.
 
<div style="color:#C20000;font-size:small">'''What was your favourite moment?'''</div>
That's a difficult pick! We have too much fun!
 
<div style="color:#C20000;font-size:small">'''What would you like to say to all of your fans?'''</div>
Come and visit me sometime! I'm always available.. xoxo


== Testimonials ==
== Testimonials ==
Line 365: Line 313:


''Holy shit.''
''Holy shit.''
=== This describes our whole operation... ===
''Name says it all. Seriously, I record these too much.'' --[[User:Jallus|Jallus]] 01:30, 9 September 2008 (BST)
*'''allenj81''' said "*Pulls out Electric saw* Lets fix up those wounds, shall we, Angelic?"
*'''AngelicChaos''' said "Waaah. Scary."
*'''allenj81''' said "*Grins* Don't worry, I've done this PLENTY of times. Not all successful times, mind you, but still"
*'''Daren Elaine''' said "Holy crap, you know what, I think these wounds aren't THAT bad.....you can put away the chainsaw now, I'm sure they'll get better on their own."
*'''daemon13''' said "bah chainsaws are for amateurs, watch this! i call it the pipe bomb method, liberally appy pipe bomb to the afflicted area. light fuse and:"
*'''daemon13''' said "tada! daren is back to full health. *disclaimer* d13 is not responsible for any injuries sustained through people attempting to follow his medical advice*"
*'''Daren Elaine''' said "Careful Daemon, I may decide to apply to toolbox method, and it would be a shame if I mis-diagnosed you as injured....."
*'''allenj81''' said "Yeeeah... *Looks across room* Hey daemon, can you pass me my arm over agaisnt that wall? Your bomb seems to have blown it off"
=== Modesty? ===
''Taken from the Forum..but too good not to post here.'' ~ Morg
*'''Daren Elaine''' said "Come to think of it, considering that you guys invented naked twister, I'm surprised that the mere mention of the word 'modesty' here doesn't make the internet implode."
=== Proper Barricading Procedure ===
* '''Alvy Fang''' said "Interesting, nothing outside our doors. This calls for a champagne."
* '''Daren Elaine''' said "Or it calls for freaking out, boundless paranoia, and bludgeoning random people because we suspect the PKers are coming. Hey, speaking of which, where did my cinderblock get put?"
* '''Alvy Fang''' said "it’s in the barricade, under the garden gnome."
=== Acceptable reasons for being late to the regroup point ===
*  '''StormGuru''' said "*Saunters down the corridor favouring one leg* Well Hello Everyone! I'm pleased to see you all again of course." (2 hours and 39 minutes ago)
* '''StormGuru''' said "Sorry for my late arrival Morg I was conducting a pub crawl between Edgecombe and here and get sidetracked enough by a particularly good Ale" (2 hours and 38 minutes ago)
* '''StormGuru''' said "That's when I failed to notice one of the other patrons starting to salivate at the sight of me..." (2 hours and 37 minutes ago)
=== First, it was kidneys...now, it's suspect sandwiches! ===
* '''Darry Coldtrice''' said "God guys. I go to sleep for 12 hours and you guys can't keep yourselfs from foaming at the mouth and eating tainted sandwiches!" (54 minutes ago)
=== Saralan's Festive Cheer ===
* '''Saralan said''' "*Dances around the foyer, swaying like a frond of seaweed*"
*"*Points to the sky* *Points to the ground* *Points to the north* *Points to the east* *Points to the south* *Points to the west*"
*"On the twelfth day of christmas, my true love gave to meeee...."
*"12 first aid kits..."
*"11 pistol clips..."
*"10 newspapers..."
*"9 DNA extractors..."
*"8 wirecutters..."
*"7 generators..."
*"6 fire axes..."
*"5 syrrr-iin-geeessss!!!"
*"4 kitchen knives, 3 shotguns, 2 flare guns...."
*"Aaaand then they filled Malton with zoooombiiieees!"
*"And for my encore, the barricades are back at VSB+2! *Sweeps off her hat and bows*"
*"Accolades, applause and admiration all welcome!"
*'''daemon13''' said "yaaaaaaay! *cheers for saralan*"
*'''Janus Abernathy''' said "*puts roses at Saralan's feet*"
*'''Saralan''' said "Thank you, thank you."
=== Mikhayl's Rendition of 'Jingle Bells' ===
* '''Mikhayl Selmas''' said "*pulsl out his guitar and starts plaing cheerfully*"
*"Over this craggy street..."
*"Torn and filled with zeds...."
*"I free run with my axe, and chop off all their heads!"
*"apocalypse is coming soon, at least the weathers nice."
*"Grab some msitletoe and kiss a dead head once or twice!"
*"flamin zeds, rolling heads. Gore will fill the streets..."
*"We're all getting eaten here like dainty salted meats!"
*"Marching zeds, Nomming Heads, we'll all run away...."
*"But we'll carol here in Malton on this happy holiday!"
*"I went out for a rave....to a local bar."
*"And then I met this man, who didn't let me get far."
*"He asked me for soem change he said he hadn't had a bite since being dead..."
*"So I gave him a nibble and he shot me in the head!"
*"Stomping Zeds, Cracking heads, brains inside they taste."
*"I hope they use some nice hsamppo so my brain will have a chance to baste!"
*"Nearing death, losing breath, I'm about to die.....*strusm guitar in a proper latin fashion of very very fast*"
*"If I get some mistletoe then I'll pass with a smiiiiiiile!!!!"
* Saralan said "Woooooo! *Cheers and throws her hands in the air* Awesome, Mikhayl! *Flicks a lighter and waves it back and forth*"
=== At Last, Recognition! ===
*'''Angel Wolf''' said "(grinning broadly) You people are nuts. Thank you for keeping this place open to tadpoles like me. One day, when I'm huge, I will find a way to pay you back. Maruruuru! God bless the MMS!"
=== The Correct Meat Shield Procedure ===
Mr Doctorz during the 'dying' stages of another St Ethelberts siege in Roftwood (11 Aug 2009)
*"Oy! Zombies! Come and get a nibble! That's right; I dare you: Take me down if you've got what it takes! Dinner time!
<nowiki>*</nowiki>rings church bell* Ding Dong! Come and get it you slop-mouthed dullards!"
*"Which one of you rotting corpses is man enough to take on The Doctor!? Well? Let's see if any of you have what it takes to kill a REAL survivor! OVER HERE, ZOMBIES!"
....Later:
*"HEY; OVER HERE YOU FLEASH HUNEGRY IDIOTS! I'M TALKING TO YOU! NONE OF YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKS TO TAKE DOWN THE DOCTOR! I AM INVENCABLE! RUN IN FEAR FROM MY AWESUMNES, ZOMBIES! GO OPOATION BLACK STORM RISENG!"
Mr Doctorz reasoning:  "I'm hoping that trenchcoater-esque grammar mistakes will entice them to ignore the more wounded survivors, but most of the hospital is on the ground or in the streets."
....Later:
*"HAHA YOU DUM ZEDS CANT KILL ME IM BULLETPROOF YOU TRID TO KILL ME BUT IM STILL HERE TAKE THAT YOU LAME ZOMBES!!!!!!!"
3 minutes later in the IRC:
*I've started getting some bites; I think the poor grammar is working.


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[[Category:Group Subpages]]
[[Category:Group Subpages]]

Latest revision as of 06:10, 27 August 2023

Staff Bio
Malton Medical Staff

Welcome to the Malton Medical Staff Group Pages

Staff Bio


List of Staff

UDMMS duct1.jpg
MMSSTD1.jpg
Cocainetooth.jpg

Bonā fidē Active Members

If the name you seek isn't on the list, and you have a complaint about them, they are not ours. Contact us and we'll discuss it.

  • lostfire: A fire that is lost. Prometheus stole it.
  • Imgonnadiesoon: (Sunflower) Head of Security for the Malton Medical Staff
  • Zedd Unicron: Bearer of the almighty tinsel. Seems to believe all fashionable ladies should wear kilts.
  • Lucky Gumi:The MMS is lucky to have her!
  • Cain Cohen: Attorney for the MMS
  • Death Clown: Specializes in musical therapy although whether in giving or receiving is still a mystery.
  • Richard Cord: Mysteriously Returned.
  • mastergeneral: Tennis Champion of Malton

Interns

  • Grahtzee: Is on a quest for cleanliness.
  • Dr Tank: Putting the Muscle Mass Sets into the MMS!

Fans

There are also several people who help the Malton Medical Staff and move around with them, but have not (yet) requested to become a member of Staff:

MMS Tourniquet.jpg

Retired or Missing in Action

Friends and Allies

Members of other groups who work very closely with the Malton Medical Staff and who help us are listed below:

Undead Fans

(Update: Most of our Undead Fans have gone Missing In Action. If your group would like to be our new Undead Friends, please try and put a little humour in your snacking. Mean Zambahs need not apply!)

Believe it or not, the Malton Medical Staff have their undead fans too! Below lists the zombies and groups that have a particular affinity for us, by visiting us persistently or just being memorable in their own special way:

  • Our new (rather emo) friend, dubbed Sparklybones. A feral zombie who found himself on the wrong side of undeath and dropped in to wreak havoc. | Darkbones said "*sighs. You guys really know how to ruin a shooting spree."

Special Mentions

Malton Medical Staff really do spread the love, and we're not bothered whether it's to the dead or undead either:

TA9-4.jpg
A lovely drawing from Zoey Zarg of her group attacking MMS at St. Eth's. Isn't it sweet? Consider this the refrigerator, Zoey! <3

Staff Interviews

Archive I

New Interviews coming soon!

Testimonials

Archive I

Pyte's Prayer

I approve of this prayer. ;) ~ Morg

  • Pyte said "Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray to Malton my spleen to keep, And if I die before I wake, I pray Ms. Morg will make me cake."

Battle of the Presidents

This needs fixing up. I'm too tired to do it myself.--Jallus 13:57, 22 July 2008 (BST)

I cannot believe I missed this! Thanks, Jallus. Entertainment, indeed! --Morgueasm 17:16, 24 July 2008 (BST)

  • President Obama said "Heal please? I seem to have lost my secret security deachment and was rather dead for a bit." (10 hours and 37 minutes ago)
  • President Obama said "And by lost I mean that they were devoured by a rampaging horde of re-animated neo-cons." (10 hours and 36 minutes ago)
  • Monde said "Oh, you met Jack Neon too, huh?" (10 hours and 36 minutes ago)
  • President Obama said "And if elected, I pledge to reanimate the economy that has been killed by the reckless fiscal policy of my predecessor." (10 hours and 35 minutes ago)
  • Nellie Harmon said "Welcome Senator Obama. Nothing personal but I voted for HIlary. However that will not effect our medical care here." (10 hours and 34 minutes ago)
  • President Hillary said "*Crashes through sky light and drops to the floor amidst a rain of broken glass, (Batman-style) and pulls her shadowy cloak around her. (Also Batman-style. Or mabe Dracula-style. Anyway...)" (10 hours and 32 minutes ago)
  • daemon13 said "yeah i've seen that msogynist guy pking before... if he comes back i'd be happy to help remove him :)" (10 hours and 31 minutes ago)
  • daemon13 said "lol looks like we have some vip's here... sorry gus but i voted for His noodly Appendage" (10 hours and 31 minutes ago)
  • Monde said "With a name like that I'm almost glad he's removable. Tch, edgy morons." (10 hours and 31 minutes ago)
  • President Hillary said "*Rises slowly from her crouch, bits of glass dropping from her carbon-fiber-dual-chromated-dynakic-poly-molecular-quasi-scientific body armor/cape, her eyes glowing a pale white like those of a wolf reflecting the light of a campfire.*" (10 hours and 30 minutes ago)
  • Nellie Harmon said "Mr Obama is at 53HP and needs a heal." (10 hours and 29 minutes ago)
  • President Hillary said "Extends one gauntleted finger at Barak and says in the bestest, depest, growliest, voice she can muster (like she's been yelling at Bill all night)..." (10 hours and 28 minutes ago)
  • President Hillary said "You may have won the primaries Barak, but you will not escape me this time. Here in Malton, with your security detachment making their way through the intestines of a dozen fetid digestive systems, you will feel the full fury of the Hillary Ma... Er,.." (10 hours and 25 minutes ago)
  • daemon13 said "ahahaha *claps excitedly*" (10 hours and 23 minutes ago)
  • Nellie Harmon said "Thanks for the heal whoever. D13 that guy is going to be reported to RG. THanks to whoever healed ZF. Sunday was asleep thankfully." (10 hours and 23 minutes ago)
  • President Hillary said "*Checks note cards* Hillary Man? Honestly people! It's this kind of planning that let this boob take us in the primaries. G*d damnit people! Well whatever, *tosses cards over shoulder* You're gonna die tonight Barak! *Clenches fists and strides forward*" (10 hours and 22 minutes ago)
  • President Hillary said "*Cards flutter to the floor, their somewhat carefully prepared remarks now forgotten. Hillary draws back one fist and unleashes a powerful skull crushing blow*" (10 hours and 20 minutes ago)
  • daemon13 said "so... should we intervene? or buy popcorn?" (10 hours and 20 minutes ago)
  • Nellie Harmon said "*puts on referee shirt* In this corner weighing in at 180lbs. The former first lady and Senator from NY. Ms. Hilary Clinton." (10 hours and 18 minutes ago)
  • President Obama said "*The Senator, who had been absently checking his watch and tapping his toe during Hilary's speech, now seems to vanish before her furious blow and her fist instead impacts the solid oak support beam against which he had been leaning (He's so cool).*" (10 hours and 17 minutes ago)
  • Nellie Harmon said "and in this corner weighing in at 250lbs. The nieve first term Senator from Illinois Barack Hussien Obama." (10 hours and 16 minutes ago)
  • daemon13 said "*munches popcorn* anyone else want any? *offers up*" (10 hours and 15 minutes ago)
  • Nellie Harmon said "MMS just stay out of the fight and continue conserving AP." (10 hours and 15 minutes ago)
  • President Obama said "*Splinters fly and the beam creaks and the rafters groan but ultimately hold steady* Hillary, Hillary! This conflict is over. Our quarrels are behind us. Join with me against the forces of the evil neo-cons! They are your true enemy!" (10 hours and 14 minutes ago)
  • President Hillary said "Never! *Screams a savage, incoherent roar of pure animal rage and svagely charges the junior Senator, unleashing a fusilade of blows. Fists, elbows, feet, and knees fly at their target who desperately tries to evade but is not entirely successful*" (10 hours and 10 minutes ago)
  • President Obama said "*Ducks, doges, and evades the torrent of abuse that the poweful Senator throws at him. Such is the fury of her assault that even his agility and cunning cannot save him from all of her rage and one cudgel like fist finds its mark. The senator is sent" (10 hours and 7 minutes ago)
  • President Obama said "flying across the room in that typical way that you see in the movies where the arc of the flying person is completely linear - as if their trajectory is unaffected by gravity. Anyway, he is sent flying into another beam which snaps in two.*" (10 hours and 6 minutes ago)
  • Alvy Fang said "daemon pass the popcorn please. O.O conserving AP? isnt that the antithesis of what we do :p" (10 hours and 5 minutes ago)
  • daemon13 said "hehe that's what i was thinking... *passes Alvy the popcorn*" (10 hours and 2 minutes ago)
  • President Obama said "*Wipes a thin trickle of blood from his lip and glowers from beneath his sweat-beaded brow* I beat you once at the polls, and I'll beat you again here! *Grip the 8x8 oak beam and swings at his assailant in a wide arc. Newspapers and FAKs are sent flyi*" (10 hours and 2 minutes ago)
  • President Obama said "*The Hillary Man makes no attampt to evade the heavy oaken weapon and it connects solidly with her skull, exploding in a hail of splinted wood while Hillary's gaze remains locked on her tormentor* *Barak swallows uneasily*" (exactly 10 hours ago)
  • President Hillary said "*Her eyes widen and the light that was once an erie glow intesifies to the white-hot intesity of a welding arc. The room is bathed in the seaing white light of her rage and she roars. Her voice has lost all sense of humanity as her rage takes on a demoni" (9 hours and 57 minutes ago)
  • daemon13 said "this is the best movie ever!" (9 hours and 55 minutes ago)
  • President Hillary said "Er, demonic tone. Her teeth have become thick and pointed and she seems to have grown to superhuman proportions. He cape which once flowed gracefully about the ground now hangs from her muscular shoulders like a bath towel, ending fully two feet from the" (9 hours and 55 minutes ago)
  • President Hillary said "floor. Her lower jaw juts forward and tendrils of thick saliva drool from her thick thick tounge which lolls from her mouth and slowly writhes like a slimy black eel.*" (9 hours and 52 minutes ago)
  • daemon13 said "hahaha hillary smaaaash!" (9 hours and 51 minutes ago)
  • President Hillary said "*She steps forward, and the floor of the lobby, so long ago tiled with emerald green marble, so carefully selected to create a peacefull atmosphere, but which now cracks and splinters beneath the weight of the lumbering behemoth*" (9 hours and 49 minutes ago)
  • Nellie Harmon said "Until the burb is secured save AP as much as possible in case of attack on the hospital. The last thing we need are staffers with too little AP to defend the hosptial. As long as the burb is red we need to watch our backsides more than cracking jokes." (9 hours and 45 minutes ago)
  • President Hillary said "*She roars again. Like one of those dinosaurs in Jurassic Park - or maybe the cave troll in Lord of the Rings. She sweeps aside a gaggle of horrified onlookers, many of whom stand transfxed by the piercing light of her gaze, and sends them tumpling pell-" (9 hours and 45 minutes ago)
  • President Hillary said "mell into the barricades. Hers steps thunder through the halls as she charges her slender apponent in a seemingly irresistable charge of monstreous rage and revenge. Her hands now loosely open sweeping wide arcs with her viscous black claws. Her thick," (9 hours and 41 minutes ago)
  • President Hillary said "muscular arms smashing the buildings beams before the anslaught of her assaault and all the while Barak crouches motionless, apparently defenseless against her fury*" (9 hours and 40 minutes ago)
  • President Obama said "*as the beastial form of his once esteemed opponent, now turned murderous aggressor bears down on him, Barak carefully weighs his options. In Malton where the only news outlet consistes of random 4 year old newspapers," (9 hours and 37 minutes ago)
  • President Obama said "he wouldn't be able to count on his adoring media to rescue him from this scrape; he had to use his wits. As the beast charged him, he heard Nellie's voice barking orders to her staff and as the authoritative tones of her voice echoed throughout the lobby" (9 hours and 34 minutes ago)
  • President Obama said "he quickly formulated his strategy. As Hillary went on about how scary she had become with her big muscles and scary claws, he croucehd motionless and waited." (9 hours and 33 minutes ago)
  • President Obama said "And so it was that when the monster's chsrge bore down on him he lept. With the frantic speed of a rabit evading the gnashing jaws of the wolf he lept with desperate abandon to evade the slashing claws, crushing feet, and drooly, icky tounge. (yuck)" (9 hours and 30 minutes ago)
  • President Obama said "He lept high and eyes wide, fingers fantically grasping, fingers clawing, clutching, he reached for... and caught the cold brass of the chandalier hanging overhead and swung up to safety. The Hillary Beast thundering below him realized she had missed mark" (9 hours and 27 minutes ago)
  • President Obama said "too late to stop her charge and she skidded out into the street, her claws scabling ineffectively to gain traction on the smooth floor." (9 hours and 26 minutes ago)
  • President Hillary said "As her charge ended in the streeet and she turned to begin another, she glances down to the lower right corner of her screen to see, as if for the first time, a small red 1 quietly annoucing that, much like her campaign, she had badly mismanaged her AP." (9 hours and 23 minutes ago)
  • President Hillary said "And the Hillary beast was heard to mutter to herself, in a voice thick with impotent rage, and self recrimination that even now was casting about for a scapegoat,* Sh*t." (9 hours and 21 minutes ago)
  • daemon13 said "ahahaha what a great end... torn apart by zombies... that's how all politicians should go!" (9 hours and 20 minutes ago)

Holy shit.

This describes our whole operation...

Name says it all. Seriously, I record these too much. --Jallus 01:30, 9 September 2008 (BST)

  • allenj81 said "*Pulls out Electric saw* Lets fix up those wounds, shall we, Angelic?"
  • AngelicChaos said "Waaah. Scary."
  • allenj81 said "*Grins* Don't worry, I've done this PLENTY of times. Not all successful times, mind you, but still"
  • Daren Elaine said "Holy crap, you know what, I think these wounds aren't THAT bad.....you can put away the chainsaw now, I'm sure they'll get better on their own."
  • daemon13 said "bah chainsaws are for amateurs, watch this! i call it the pipe bomb method, liberally appy pipe bomb to the afflicted area. light fuse and:"
  • daemon13 said "tada! daren is back to full health. *disclaimer* d13 is not responsible for any injuries sustained through people attempting to follow his medical advice*"
  • Daren Elaine said "Careful Daemon, I may decide to apply to toolbox method, and it would be a shame if I mis-diagnosed you as injured....."
  • allenj81 said "Yeeeah... *Looks across room* Hey daemon, can you pass me my arm over agaisnt that wall? Your bomb seems to have blown it off"

Modesty?

Taken from the Forum..but too good not to post here. ~ Morg

  • Daren Elaine said "Come to think of it, considering that you guys invented naked twister, I'm surprised that the mere mention of the word 'modesty' here doesn't make the internet implode."

Proper Barricading Procedure

  • Alvy Fang said "Interesting, nothing outside our doors. This calls for a champagne."
  • Daren Elaine said "Or it calls for freaking out, boundless paranoia, and bludgeoning random people because we suspect the PKers are coming. Hey, speaking of which, where did my cinderblock get put?"
  • Alvy Fang said "it’s in the barricade, under the garden gnome."

Acceptable reasons for being late to the regroup point

  • StormGuru said "*Saunters down the corridor favouring one leg* Well Hello Everyone! I'm pleased to see you all again of course." (2 hours and 39 minutes ago)
  • StormGuru said "Sorry for my late arrival Morg I was conducting a pub crawl between Edgecombe and here and get sidetracked enough by a particularly good Ale" (2 hours and 38 minutes ago)
  • StormGuru said "That's when I failed to notice one of the other patrons starting to salivate at the sight of me..." (2 hours and 37 minutes ago)

First, it was kidneys...now, it's suspect sandwiches!

  • Darry Coldtrice said "God guys. I go to sleep for 12 hours and you guys can't keep yourselfs from foaming at the mouth and eating tainted sandwiches!" (54 minutes ago)

Saralan's Festive Cheer

  • Saralan said "*Dances around the foyer, swaying like a frond of seaweed*"
  • "*Points to the sky* *Points to the ground* *Points to the north* *Points to the east* *Points to the south* *Points to the west*"
  • "On the twelfth day of christmas, my true love gave to meeee...."
  • "12 first aid kits..."
  • "11 pistol clips..."
  • "10 newspapers..."
  • "9 DNA extractors..."
  • "8 wirecutters..."
  • "7 generators..."
  • "6 fire axes..."
  • "5 syrrr-iin-geeessss!!!"
  • "4 kitchen knives, 3 shotguns, 2 flare guns...."
  • "Aaaand then they filled Malton with zoooombiiieees!"
  • "And for my encore, the barricades are back at VSB+2! *Sweeps off her hat and bows*"
  • "Accolades, applause and admiration all welcome!"
  • daemon13 said "yaaaaaaay! *cheers for saralan*"
  • Janus Abernathy said "*puts roses at Saralan's feet*"
  • Saralan said "Thank you, thank you."

Mikhayl's Rendition of 'Jingle Bells'

  • Mikhayl Selmas said "*pulsl out his guitar and starts plaing cheerfully*"
  • "Over this craggy street..."
  • "Torn and filled with zeds...."
  • "I free run with my axe, and chop off all their heads!"
  • "apocalypse is coming soon, at least the weathers nice."
  • "Grab some msitletoe and kiss a dead head once or twice!"
  • "flamin zeds, rolling heads. Gore will fill the streets..."
  • "We're all getting eaten here like dainty salted meats!"
  • "Marching zeds, Nomming Heads, we'll all run away...."
  • "But we'll carol here in Malton on this happy holiday!"
  • "I went out for a rave....to a local bar."
  • "And then I met this man, who didn't let me get far."
  • "He asked me for soem change he said he hadn't had a bite since being dead..."
  • "So I gave him a nibble and he shot me in the head!"
  • "Stomping Zeds, Cracking heads, brains inside they taste."
  • "I hope they use some nice hsamppo so my brain will have a chance to baste!"
  • "Nearing death, losing breath, I'm about to die.....*strusm guitar in a proper latin fashion of very very fast*"
  • "If I get some mistletoe then I'll pass with a smiiiiiiile!!!!"
  • Saralan said "Woooooo! *Cheers and throws her hands in the air* Awesome, Mikhayl! *Flicks a lighter and waves it back and forth*"

At Last, Recognition!

  • Angel Wolf said "(grinning broadly) You people are nuts. Thank you for keeping this place open to tadpoles like me. One day, when I'm huge, I will find a way to pay you back. Maruruuru! God bless the MMS!"

The Correct Meat Shield Procedure

Mr Doctorz during the 'dying' stages of another St Ethelberts siege in Roftwood (11 Aug 2009)

  • "Oy! Zombies! Come and get a nibble! That's right; I dare you: Take me down if you've got what it takes! Dinner time!

*rings church bell* Ding Dong! Come and get it you slop-mouthed dullards!"

  • "Which one of you rotting corpses is man enough to take on The Doctor!? Well? Let's see if any of you have what it takes to kill a REAL survivor! OVER HERE, ZOMBIES!"

....Later:

  • "HEY; OVER HERE YOU FLEASH HUNEGRY IDIOTS! I'M TALKING TO YOU! NONE OF YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKS TO TAKE DOWN THE DOCTOR! I AM INVENCABLE! RUN IN FEAR FROM MY AWESUMNES, ZOMBIES! GO OPOATION BLACK STORM RISENG!"

Mr Doctorz reasoning: "I'm hoping that trenchcoater-esque grammar mistakes will entice them to ignore the more wounded survivors, but most of the hospital is on the ground or in the streets."

....Later:

  • "HAHA YOU DUM ZEDS CANT KILL ME IM BULLETPROOF YOU TRID TO KILL ME BUT IM STILL HERE TAKE THAT YOU LAME ZOMBES!!!!!!!"

3 minutes later in the IRC:

  • I've started getting some bites; I think the poor grammar is working.



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