Malton Medical Staff/Staff Bio: Difference between revisions

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== List of Staff ==
== List of Staff ==
[[Image:UDMMS_duct1.jpg‎|right|thumb|300px]]
[[Image:UDMMS_duct1.jpg|right|thumb|300px]]
[[Image:MMSSTD1.jpg‎|right|thumb|300px]]
[[Image:MMSSTD1.jpg|right|thumb|300px]]
[[Image:Cocainetooth.jpg‎|right|thumb|300px]]
[[Image:Cocainetooth.jpg|right|thumb|300px]]


The current list of full-time, active Malton Medical Staff:
=== Bonā fidē Active Members ===


''If the name you seek isn't on the list, and you have a complaint about them, they are not ours. Contact us and we'll discuss it.''
''If the name you seek isn't on the list, and you have a complaint about them, they are not ours. Contact us and we'll discuss it.''


* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=917027 lostfire]: A fire that is lost. Prometheus stole it.
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=856277 Imgonnadiesoon]: (Sunflower) Head of Security for the Malton Medical Staff
*[http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=2232082 Zedd Unicron]: Bearer of the almighty tinsel. Seems to believe all fashionable ladies should wear kilts.
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=2309938 Lucky Gumi]:The MMS is lucky to have her!
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=911000 Cain Cohen]: Attorney for the MMS
* [https://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=2072959 Death Clown]: Specializes in musical therapy although whether in giving or receiving is still a mystery. 
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=894724 Richard Cord]: Mysteriously Returned.
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1332521 mastergeneral]: Tennis Champion of Malton
=== Interns ===
* [https://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1670684 Cecilia Potter]: Buongiorno!
* [https://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=2364143 Grahtzee]: Is on a quest for cleanliness.
* [https://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=907909 Dr Tank]: Putting the Muscle Mass Sets into the MMS!


* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=989918 Nellie Harmon]: Current Head Administrator
=== Fans ===
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1076799 Saralan]: Current Chief Nurse
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1003610 Zombie Fetish]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=894724 Richard Cord]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=856277 Imgonnadiesoon]: (Sunflower)
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=942753 JojoRomero]: Revivifier and Chef
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=866350 uprescue]: Doctor and Security
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1014329 Doctor Chunkman]: His Chunkdafied Chunkmaster of the Interplanetary Chunk.And stuff.
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=795872 Monde]: Ninja
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1046693 Nurse Christie]: Nurse
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1078001 Garwalla]: Resident DJ
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1077457 daemon13] Personal bodyguard to Saralan
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1267771 Alvy Fang]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1255859 Ishida Uryuu]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1191746 xavii]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1136995 Araldia]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=868776 Inkface]: Doctor and Security, currently established in Gulsonside
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1328967 StormGuru]: Pirate
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1073805 Mikhayl Selmas] Barkeep for the MMS
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=917027 lostfire]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=923496 King Belgarion]: Currently on sanity pills
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1283458 AngelicChaos]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=829467 MorganLeFay]


[[image:MMS_Tourniquet.jpg‎|center]]
There are also several people who help the Malton Medical Staff and move around with them, but have not (yet) requested to become a member of Staff:
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=307563 Cheese Knight] Should stop by for a chat more often!
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=884817 Professor Piiroinen] Academic researcher for the MMS
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=858937 Banokles]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=977935 Rancid Carcass]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=860917 Detective Valentine] Principal crime investigator for the MMS
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1240754 Masonic Wereblender] aka: "Blendy" The folks at the Zoo sent this over as a wedding present. He's also a good addition to the barricades!
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1249695 Amazing Sasquatch] Resident Cryptid
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1030227 Mason Tsuchimoto]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=901944 Primo Beer]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=942395 Darma] of [[Zrmbrrh hra grh-grh!]], awarded the MMS Merit Award for helping us during a recent battle.
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1095327 Dazaraz] of [[Zrmbrrh hra grh-grh!]], a new friend that hasn't eaten any of us! (That we know of)
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1524460 GBGames]  


==== Retired or Missing in Action ====
[[image:MMS_Tourniquet.jpg|center]]


=== Retired or Missing in Action ===
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1031155 Charles E Winchester]: A Fan since our days in Roftwood
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1774314 Alicia Huberman]: Excellent chef and alcohol connoisseur providing important gastronomical support during the healing process.
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1650583 Tom Plisken]: Hasn't shaved since the apocalypse.
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=2292690 Jeffery Runner]: Wide eyed and finally free running!
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=2299345 Chicken Legsalot]: Chicken by name but not by nature!
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1661163 Harold Butterbee]: Warm as the floral print Hawaiian shirt they wear.
*[http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=2307271 Briaaanz]: A mysterious recent addition that traveled to Roftwood from the far off outer reaches of the city. Likes running races.
*[http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=2335096 TokiGrimsidhe]: Wait what's this? Curiouser and curiouser! This figure's presence fills the room as if a legend had stepped off the pages and into reality.
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=2295839 Nate01]: Has a big heart soon to be trained in the art of chainsaw surgery. Prospective but hasn't filled out his paperwork yet so not official.
*[http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=2315586 Dianne Davis]: Improv teacher turned former improv teacher/failed actress turned medical intern.
* [http://urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1086237 Steven Cooper]: Veteran Malton medical practitioner lured into transferring to the MMS by booze and the dental plan.
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1549361 Ultimate Ninja]: Can apply bandages without being seen.
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=2275534 Tess Eks]: One eye won't stop this armoured medic.
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=2296849 Mister Cuddles]: Medical Clown that always brings lollipops to the party/surgery.
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=542320 kensain]: Old hand, new recruit.
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1684225 Mazzola]: Ex-Fire Cheif of the [http://wiki.urbandead.com/index.php/Membry_Lane_Fire_Station Membry Lane Fire Dept]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1685261 itSheepdawg]: Just an average joe before the outbreak. Luck and intuition have gotten him this far.
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1078001 Garwalla]: Resident DJ
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1019115 Theresa Evermoore]: Head Nurse for the MMS Outreach in [[Edgecombe]] until she came home.
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=2265484 RumbleBoy]: Eager New Security Guard.
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1278986 Mr Doctorz]: Still technically an observer. Former Head Administrator.
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1076799 Saralan] Retired Head Nurse
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1077457 daemon13]: Retired Personal bodyguard to Saralan
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=868776 Inkface]: - MIA
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1073805 Mikhayl Selmas]: Barkeep for the MMS - MIA
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=65751 allenj81]: MIA
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1426157 Anton Hammerstrike]: MIA
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1136995 Araldia]: MIA* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=94474 Chynn]: Armed Revivification Specialist - MIA
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1014329 Doctor Chunkman]: His Chunkdafied Chunkmaster of the Interplanetary Chunk. And stuff. - MIA
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=822947 Morgueasm] also known as Mrs. Morg: Now resting peacefully in Roftwood.
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=822947 Morgueasm] also known as Mrs. Morg: Now resting peacefully in Roftwood.
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=801891 GreenWing]: The first Head Administrator of the Malton Medical Staff
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=801891 GreenWing]: The first Head Administrator of the Malton Medical Staff
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=911000 Cain Cohen]: Attorney for the MMS
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=923496 King Belgarion]: Currently on sanity pills
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=968664 P Fletcher]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1046693 Nurse Christie]: Nurse
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1191746 xavii]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=870557 officerchris]: Doctor and Security
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=870557 officerchris]: Doctor and Security
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=917692 Tripor]: Nurse in Training
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=917692 Tripor]: Nurse in Training
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* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=914403 Food To Go]: Doctor and Security
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=914403 Food To Go]: Doctor and Security
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=969506 Aiden Brandermilt]: Nurse and Chef
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=969506 Aiden Brandermilt]: Nurse and Chef
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1019115 Theresa Evermoore]: Head Nurse for the MMS Outreach [[Edgecombe]]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1008040 georgia peaches]: Nurse
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1008040 georgia peaches]: Nurse
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=859649 GoodAgs]: Hospital Security
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=859649 GoodAgs]: Hospital Security
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* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=843540 feel'nstiff] of [[Zrmbrrh hra grh-grh!]]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=843540 feel'nstiff] of [[Zrmbrrh hra grh-grh!]]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=926805 BRRAAAINS] of [[Zrmbrrh hra grh-grh!]]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=926805 BRRAAAINS] of [[Zrmbrrh hra grh-grh!]]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1062009 Pyte]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1349093 Sexy Lizzie]: Probate - MIA
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1278986 Mr Doctorz]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1102681 Doctor Strap On]: Probate - MIA
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=835235 Jallus] His last act was to take himself off the list.
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=835235 Jallus] His last act was to take himself off the list.
 
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1267771 Alvy Fang]: Head Administrator
=== Fans ===
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1328967 StormGuru]: Chief Nurse and Head of Security
 
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1003610 Zombie Fetish]: Mistress of Zebra Stripes
There are also several people who help the Malton Medical Staff and move around with them, but have not (yet) requested to become a member of Staff:
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=795872 Monde]: Ninja
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=884817 Professor Piiroinen] Academic researcher for the MMS
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1255859 Ishida Uryuu]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=858937 Banokles]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=989918 Nellie Harmon]: Retired Head Administrator
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=977935 Rancid Carcass]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1381510 QBeeII]: like a mobile [[Necrotech Building|NT]]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=860917 Detective Valentine] Principal crime investigator for the MMS
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=829467 Morganlefey]: liason to The Fortress
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1240754 Masonic Wereblender] aka: "Blendy" The folks at the Zoo sent this over as a wedding present. He's also a good addition to the barricades!
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1458586 Jocularity]: The reincarnation of Fletcher
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1249695 Amazing Sasquatch] Resident Cryptid
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1431237 DrJoshKidder] Sneak attack specialist. Watch out for his deadly bandage attack.
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1030227 Mason Tsuchimoto]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1454941 Jack Wang]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=901944 Primo Beer]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1534093 Ballsy McRockschwitz]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=942395 Darma] of [[Zrmbrrh hra grh-grh!]], awarded recently with the MMS Merit Award for helping us during a recent battle.
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1485212 Doctor'seuss]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1095327 Dazaraz] of [[Zrmbrrh hra grh-grh!]], a new friend that hasn't eaten any of us! (That we know of)
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1511403 silverblaiid]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1224952 Daren Elaine]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1497230 Aucissa]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1490878 Beta Maxis]: Staff Archivist
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1550383 Dr Gatchaman]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1559574 Sheppen]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1511403 silverblaiid]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1446252 MetalNinja]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1508016 Doctor von Scientist]: Probate
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1497499 HellishSlayer]: Probate
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1556136 Idina Legba]: Probate
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1624782 Dr Dusk]: Probate
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1607795 The 9th Doctor]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=942753 JojoRomero]: Revivifier and Chef
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1062009 Pyte]: No longer MIA.
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1237598 Sunday Addams]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1383381 Nicholas Castlefield]: Posh Security
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1539110 Framistan]: Mildly surprised. Also known to conduct all sorts of experiments with the zombies.
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1729182 XChro]: Makes kick-arse brownies and is a ninja. Thinks Mazzola is very manly...
* [http://urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1676739 scatterkeir]: Some say he has a dark secret. Some say that that dark secret is that he has no dark secret. Some people think those people are jerks.
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1978407 Katherine Bishop] Local supplier of gin and tonics. They make the apocalypse more bearable.
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1283458 AngelicChaos]
* [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1923844 Dr Blake Down]  


=== Friends and Allies ===
=== Friends and Allies ===
Line 115: Line 175:
* [[(To The) Four Winds]]
* [[(To The) Four Winds]]
* [[The Fortress]]
* [[The Fortress]]
* The [[The Bureau for the Annihilation, Conversion and Habilitation of Zombies|BACHZ]]


=== Undead Fans ===
=== Undead Fans ===
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* The [[RRF]], especially [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1076930 Zoey Zarg] of the strike team, [[Team America]]. I'll also add [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=738142 Lord Moloch]] because he can't seem to stay away, either.
* The [[RRF]], especially [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1076930 Zoey Zarg] of the strike team, [[Team America]]. I'll also add [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=738142 Lord Moloch]] because he can't seem to stay away, either.
* Our new (rather emo) friend, dubbed [http://urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1448376 Sparklybones]. A feral zombie who found himself on the wrong side of undeath and dropped in to wreak havoc. | '''Darkbones''' said "*sighs. You guys really know how to ruin a shooting spree."


=== Special Mentions ===
=== Special Mentions ===
Line 251: Line 314:
''Holy shit.''
''Holy shit.''


=== This desribes our whole operation... ===
=== This describes our whole operation... ===
''Name says it all. Seriously, I record these too much.'' --[[User:Jallus|Jallus]] 01:30, 9 September 2008 (BST)
''Name says it all. Seriously, I record these too much.'' --[[User:Jallus|Jallus]] 01:30, 9 September 2008 (BST)


Line 279: Line 342:
* '''Alvy Fang''' said "Interesting, nothing outside our doors. This calls for a champagne."
* '''Alvy Fang''' said "Interesting, nothing outside our doors. This calls for a champagne."
* '''Daren Elaine''' said "Or it calls for freaking out, boundless paranoia, and bludgeoning random people because we suspect the PKers are coming. Hey, speaking of which, where did my cinderblock get put?"
* '''Daren Elaine''' said "Or it calls for freaking out, boundless paranoia, and bludgeoning random people because we suspect the PKers are coming. Hey, speaking of which, where did my cinderblock get put?"
* '''Alvy Fang''' said "it’s in the barricade, under the garden gnome."
* '''Alvy Fang''' said "it’s in the barricade, under the garden gnome."


=== Acceptable reasons for being late to the regroup point ===
=== Acceptable reasons for being late to the regroup point ===
Line 290: Line 353:


* '''Darry Coldtrice''' said "God guys. I go to sleep for 12 hours and you guys can't keep yourselfs from foaming at the mouth and eating tainted sandwiches!" (54 minutes ago)
* '''Darry Coldtrice''' said "God guys. I go to sleep for 12 hours and you guys can't keep yourselfs from foaming at the mouth and eating tainted sandwiches!" (54 minutes ago)
=== Saralan's Festive Cheer ===
* '''Saralan said''' "*Dances around the foyer, swaying like a frond of seaweed*"
*"*Points to the sky* *Points to the ground* *Points to the north* *Points to the east* *Points to the south* *Points to the west*"
*"On the twelfth day of christmas, my true love gave to meeee...."
*"12 first aid kits..."
*"11 pistol clips..."
*"10 newspapers..."
*"9 DNA extractors..."
*"8 wirecutters..."
*"7 generators..."
*"6 fire axes..."
*"5 syrrr-iin-geeessss!!!"
*"4 kitchen knives, 3 shotguns, 2 flare guns...."
*"Aaaand then they filled Malton with zoooombiiieees!"
*"And for my encore, the barricades are back at VSB+2! *Sweeps off her hat and bows*"
*"Accolades, applause and admiration all welcome!"
*'''daemon13''' said "yaaaaaaay! *cheers for saralan*"
*'''Janus Abernathy''' said "*puts roses at Saralan's feet*"
*'''Saralan''' said "Thank you, thank you."
=== Mikhayl's Rendition of 'Jingle Bells' ===
* '''Mikhayl Selmas''' said "*pulsl out his guitar and starts plaing cheerfully*"
*"Over this craggy street..."
*"Torn and filled with zeds...."
*"I free run with my axe, and chop off all their heads!"
*"apocalypse is coming soon, at least the weathers nice."
*"Grab some msitletoe and kiss a dead head once or twice!"
*"flamin zeds, rolling heads. Gore will fill the streets..."
*"We're all getting eaten here like dainty salted meats!"
*"Marching zeds, Nomming Heads, we'll all run away...."
*"But we'll carol here in Malton on this happy holiday!"
*"I went out for a rave....to a local bar."
*"And then I met this man, who didn't let me get far."
*"He asked me for soem change he said he hadn't had a bite since being dead..."
*"So I gave him a nibble and he shot me in the head!"
*"Stomping Zeds, Cracking heads, brains inside they taste."
*"I hope they use some nice hsamppo so my brain will have a chance to baste!"
*"Nearing death, losing breath, I'm about to die.....*strusm guitar in a proper latin fashion of very very fast*"
*"If I get some mistletoe then I'll pass with a smiiiiiiile!!!!"
* Saralan said "Woooooo! *Cheers and throws her hands in the air* Awesome, Mikhayl! *Flicks a lighter and waves it back and forth*"
=== At Last, Recognition! ===
*'''Angel Wolf''' said "(grinning broadly) You people are nuts. Thank you for keeping this place open to tadpoles like me. One day, when I'm huge, I will find a way to pay you back. Maruruuru! God bless the MMS!"
=== The Correct Meat Shield Procedure ===
Mr Doctorz during the 'dying' stages of another St Ethelberts siege in Roftwood (11 Aug 2009)
*"Oy! Zombies! Come and get a nibble! That's right; I dare you: Take me down if you've got what it takes! Dinner time!
<nowiki>*</nowiki>rings church bell* Ding Dong! Come and get it you slop-mouthed dullards!"
*"Which one of you rotting corpses is man enough to take on The Doctor!? Well? Let's see if any of you have what it takes to kill a REAL survivor! OVER HERE, ZOMBIES!"
....Later:
*"HEY; OVER HERE YOU FLEASH HUNEGRY IDIOTS! I'M TALKING TO YOU! NONE OF YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKS TO TAKE DOWN THE DOCTOR! I AM INVENCABLE! RUN IN FEAR FROM MY AWESUMNES, ZOMBIES! GO OPOATION BLACK STORM RISENG!"
Mr Doctorz reasoning:  "I'm hoping that trenchcoater-esque grammar mistakes will entice them to ignore the more wounded survivors, but most of the hospital is on the ground or in the streets."
....Later:
*"HAHA YOU DUM ZEDS CANT KILL ME IM BULLETPROOF YOU TRID TO KILL ME BUT IM STILL HERE TAKE THAT YOU LAME ZOMBES!!!!!!!"
3 minutes later in the IRC:
*I've started getting some bites; I think the poor grammar is working.


----
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[[Category:Group Subpages]]
[[Category:Group Subpages]]

Latest revision as of 06:10, 27 August 2023

Staff Bio
Malton Medical Staff

Welcome to the Malton Medical Staff Group Pages

Staff Bio


List of Staff

UDMMS duct1.jpg
MMSSTD1.jpg
Cocainetooth.jpg

Bonā fidē Active Members

If the name you seek isn't on the list, and you have a complaint about them, they are not ours. Contact us and we'll discuss it.

  • lostfire: A fire that is lost. Prometheus stole it.
  • Imgonnadiesoon: (Sunflower) Head of Security for the Malton Medical Staff
  • Zedd Unicron: Bearer of the almighty tinsel. Seems to believe all fashionable ladies should wear kilts.
  • Lucky Gumi:The MMS is lucky to have her!
  • Cain Cohen: Attorney for the MMS
  • Death Clown: Specializes in musical therapy although whether in giving or receiving is still a mystery.
  • Richard Cord: Mysteriously Returned.
  • mastergeneral: Tennis Champion of Malton

Interns

  • Grahtzee: Is on a quest for cleanliness.
  • Dr Tank: Putting the Muscle Mass Sets into the MMS!

Fans

There are also several people who help the Malton Medical Staff and move around with them, but have not (yet) requested to become a member of Staff:

MMS Tourniquet.jpg

Retired or Missing in Action

Friends and Allies

Members of other groups who work very closely with the Malton Medical Staff and who help us are listed below:

Undead Fans

(Update: Most of our Undead Fans have gone Missing In Action. If your group would like to be our new Undead Friends, please try and put a little humour in your snacking. Mean Zambahs need not apply!)

Believe it or not, the Malton Medical Staff have their undead fans too! Below lists the zombies and groups that have a particular affinity for us, by visiting us persistently or just being memorable in their own special way:

  • Our new (rather emo) friend, dubbed Sparklybones. A feral zombie who found himself on the wrong side of undeath and dropped in to wreak havoc. | Darkbones said "*sighs. You guys really know how to ruin a shooting spree."

Special Mentions

Malton Medical Staff really do spread the love, and we're not bothered whether it's to the dead or undead either:

TA9-4.jpg
A lovely drawing from Zoey Zarg of her group attacking MMS at St. Eth's. Isn't it sweet? Consider this the refrigerator, Zoey! <3

Staff Interviews

Archive I

New Interviews coming soon!

Testimonials

Archive I

Pyte's Prayer

I approve of this prayer. ;) ~ Morg

  • Pyte said "Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray to Malton my spleen to keep, And if I die before I wake, I pray Ms. Morg will make me cake."

Battle of the Presidents

This needs fixing up. I'm too tired to do it myself.--Jallus 13:57, 22 July 2008 (BST)

I cannot believe I missed this! Thanks, Jallus. Entertainment, indeed! --Morgueasm 17:16, 24 July 2008 (BST)

  • President Obama said "Heal please? I seem to have lost my secret security deachment and was rather dead for a bit." (10 hours and 37 minutes ago)
  • President Obama said "And by lost I mean that they were devoured by a rampaging horde of re-animated neo-cons." (10 hours and 36 minutes ago)
  • Monde said "Oh, you met Jack Neon too, huh?" (10 hours and 36 minutes ago)
  • President Obama said "And if elected, I pledge to reanimate the economy that has been killed by the reckless fiscal policy of my predecessor." (10 hours and 35 minutes ago)
  • Nellie Harmon said "Welcome Senator Obama. Nothing personal but I voted for HIlary. However that will not effect our medical care here." (10 hours and 34 minutes ago)
  • President Hillary said "*Crashes through sky light and drops to the floor amidst a rain of broken glass, (Batman-style) and pulls her shadowy cloak around her. (Also Batman-style. Or mabe Dracula-style. Anyway...)" (10 hours and 32 minutes ago)
  • daemon13 said "yeah i've seen that msogynist guy pking before... if he comes back i'd be happy to help remove him :)" (10 hours and 31 minutes ago)
  • daemon13 said "lol looks like we have some vip's here... sorry gus but i voted for His noodly Appendage" (10 hours and 31 minutes ago)
  • Monde said "With a name like that I'm almost glad he's removable. Tch, edgy morons." (10 hours and 31 minutes ago)
  • President Hillary said "*Rises slowly from her crouch, bits of glass dropping from her carbon-fiber-dual-chromated-dynakic-poly-molecular-quasi-scientific body armor/cape, her eyes glowing a pale white like those of a wolf reflecting the light of a campfire.*" (10 hours and 30 minutes ago)
  • Nellie Harmon said "Mr Obama is at 53HP and needs a heal." (10 hours and 29 minutes ago)
  • President Hillary said "Extends one gauntleted finger at Barak and says in the bestest, depest, growliest, voice she can muster (like she's been yelling at Bill all night)..." (10 hours and 28 minutes ago)
  • President Hillary said "You may have won the primaries Barak, but you will not escape me this time. Here in Malton, with your security detachment making their way through the intestines of a dozen fetid digestive systems, you will feel the full fury of the Hillary Ma... Er,.." (10 hours and 25 minutes ago)
  • daemon13 said "ahahaha *claps excitedly*" (10 hours and 23 minutes ago)
  • Nellie Harmon said "Thanks for the heal whoever. D13 that guy is going to be reported to RG. THanks to whoever healed ZF. Sunday was asleep thankfully." (10 hours and 23 minutes ago)
  • President Hillary said "*Checks note cards* Hillary Man? Honestly people! It's this kind of planning that let this boob take us in the primaries. G*d damnit people! Well whatever, *tosses cards over shoulder* You're gonna die tonight Barak! *Clenches fists and strides forward*" (10 hours and 22 minutes ago)
  • President Hillary said "*Cards flutter to the floor, their somewhat carefully prepared remarks now forgotten. Hillary draws back one fist and unleashes a powerful skull crushing blow*" (10 hours and 20 minutes ago)
  • daemon13 said "so... should we intervene? or buy popcorn?" (10 hours and 20 minutes ago)
  • Nellie Harmon said "*puts on referee shirt* In this corner weighing in at 180lbs. The former first lady and Senator from NY. Ms. Hilary Clinton." (10 hours and 18 minutes ago)
  • President Obama said "*The Senator, who had been absently checking his watch and tapping his toe during Hilary's speech, now seems to vanish before her furious blow and her fist instead impacts the solid oak support beam against which he had been leaning (He's so cool).*" (10 hours and 17 minutes ago)
  • Nellie Harmon said "and in this corner weighing in at 250lbs. The nieve first term Senator from Illinois Barack Hussien Obama." (10 hours and 16 minutes ago)
  • daemon13 said "*munches popcorn* anyone else want any? *offers up*" (10 hours and 15 minutes ago)
  • Nellie Harmon said "MMS just stay out of the fight and continue conserving AP." (10 hours and 15 minutes ago)
  • President Obama said "*Splinters fly and the beam creaks and the rafters groan but ultimately hold steady* Hillary, Hillary! This conflict is over. Our quarrels are behind us. Join with me against the forces of the evil neo-cons! They are your true enemy!" (10 hours and 14 minutes ago)
  • President Hillary said "Never! *Screams a savage, incoherent roar of pure animal rage and svagely charges the junior Senator, unleashing a fusilade of blows. Fists, elbows, feet, and knees fly at their target who desperately tries to evade but is not entirely successful*" (10 hours and 10 minutes ago)
  • President Obama said "*Ducks, doges, and evades the torrent of abuse that the poweful Senator throws at him. Such is the fury of her assault that even his agility and cunning cannot save him from all of her rage and one cudgel like fist finds its mark. The senator is sent" (10 hours and 7 minutes ago)
  • President Obama said "flying across the room in that typical way that you see in the movies where the arc of the flying person is completely linear - as if their trajectory is unaffected by gravity. Anyway, he is sent flying into another beam which snaps in two.*" (10 hours and 6 minutes ago)
  • Alvy Fang said "daemon pass the popcorn please. O.O conserving AP? isnt that the antithesis of what we do :p" (10 hours and 5 minutes ago)
  • daemon13 said "hehe that's what i was thinking... *passes Alvy the popcorn*" (10 hours and 2 minutes ago)
  • President Obama said "*Wipes a thin trickle of blood from his lip and glowers from beneath his sweat-beaded brow* I beat you once at the polls, and I'll beat you again here! *Grip the 8x8 oak beam and swings at his assailant in a wide arc. Newspapers and FAKs are sent flyi*" (10 hours and 2 minutes ago)
  • President Obama said "*The Hillary Man makes no attampt to evade the heavy oaken weapon and it connects solidly with her skull, exploding in a hail of splinted wood while Hillary's gaze remains locked on her tormentor* *Barak swallows uneasily*" (exactly 10 hours ago)
  • President Hillary said "*Her eyes widen and the light that was once an erie glow intesifies to the white-hot intesity of a welding arc. The room is bathed in the seaing white light of her rage and she roars. Her voice has lost all sense of humanity as her rage takes on a demoni" (9 hours and 57 minutes ago)
  • daemon13 said "this is the best movie ever!" (9 hours and 55 minutes ago)
  • President Hillary said "Er, demonic tone. Her teeth have become thick and pointed and she seems to have grown to superhuman proportions. He cape which once flowed gracefully about the ground now hangs from her muscular shoulders like a bath towel, ending fully two feet from the" (9 hours and 55 minutes ago)
  • President Hillary said "floor. Her lower jaw juts forward and tendrils of thick saliva drool from her thick thick tounge which lolls from her mouth and slowly writhes like a slimy black eel.*" (9 hours and 52 minutes ago)
  • daemon13 said "hahaha hillary smaaaash!" (9 hours and 51 minutes ago)
  • President Hillary said "*She steps forward, and the floor of the lobby, so long ago tiled with emerald green marble, so carefully selected to create a peacefull atmosphere, but which now cracks and splinters beneath the weight of the lumbering behemoth*" (9 hours and 49 minutes ago)
  • Nellie Harmon said "Until the burb is secured save AP as much as possible in case of attack on the hospital. The last thing we need are staffers with too little AP to defend the hosptial. As long as the burb is red we need to watch our backsides more than cracking jokes." (9 hours and 45 minutes ago)
  • President Hillary said "*She roars again. Like one of those dinosaurs in Jurassic Park - or maybe the cave troll in Lord of the Rings. She sweeps aside a gaggle of horrified onlookers, many of whom stand transfxed by the piercing light of her gaze, and sends them tumpling pell-" (9 hours and 45 minutes ago)
  • President Hillary said "mell into the barricades. Hers steps thunder through the halls as she charges her slender apponent in a seemingly irresistable charge of monstreous rage and revenge. Her hands now loosely open sweeping wide arcs with her viscous black claws. Her thick," (9 hours and 41 minutes ago)
  • President Hillary said "muscular arms smashing the buildings beams before the anslaught of her assaault and all the while Barak crouches motionless, apparently defenseless against her fury*" (9 hours and 40 minutes ago)
  • President Obama said "*as the beastial form of his once esteemed opponent, now turned murderous aggressor bears down on him, Barak carefully weighs his options. In Malton where the only news outlet consistes of random 4 year old newspapers," (9 hours and 37 minutes ago)
  • President Obama said "he wouldn't be able to count on his adoring media to rescue him from this scrape; he had to use his wits. As the beast charged him, he heard Nellie's voice barking orders to her staff and as the authoritative tones of her voice echoed throughout the lobby" (9 hours and 34 minutes ago)
  • President Obama said "he quickly formulated his strategy. As Hillary went on about how scary she had become with her big muscles and scary claws, he croucehd motionless and waited." (9 hours and 33 minutes ago)
  • President Obama said "And so it was that when the monster's chsrge bore down on him he lept. With the frantic speed of a rabit evading the gnashing jaws of the wolf he lept with desperate abandon to evade the slashing claws, crushing feet, and drooly, icky tounge. (yuck)" (9 hours and 30 minutes ago)
  • President Obama said "He lept high and eyes wide, fingers fantically grasping, fingers clawing, clutching, he reached for... and caught the cold brass of the chandalier hanging overhead and swung up to safety. The Hillary Beast thundering below him realized she had missed mark" (9 hours and 27 minutes ago)
  • President Obama said "too late to stop her charge and she skidded out into the street, her claws scabling ineffectively to gain traction on the smooth floor." (9 hours and 26 minutes ago)
  • President Hillary said "As her charge ended in the streeet and she turned to begin another, she glances down to the lower right corner of her screen to see, as if for the first time, a small red 1 quietly annoucing that, much like her campaign, she had badly mismanaged her AP." (9 hours and 23 minutes ago)
  • President Hillary said "And the Hillary beast was heard to mutter to herself, in a voice thick with impotent rage, and self recrimination that even now was casting about for a scapegoat,* Sh*t." (9 hours and 21 minutes ago)
  • daemon13 said "ahahaha what a great end... torn apart by zombies... that's how all politicians should go!" (9 hours and 20 minutes ago)

Holy shit.

This describes our whole operation...

Name says it all. Seriously, I record these too much. --Jallus 01:30, 9 September 2008 (BST)

  • allenj81 said "*Pulls out Electric saw* Lets fix up those wounds, shall we, Angelic?"
  • AngelicChaos said "Waaah. Scary."
  • allenj81 said "*Grins* Don't worry, I've done this PLENTY of times. Not all successful times, mind you, but still"
  • Daren Elaine said "Holy crap, you know what, I think these wounds aren't THAT bad.....you can put away the chainsaw now, I'm sure they'll get better on their own."
  • daemon13 said "bah chainsaws are for amateurs, watch this! i call it the pipe bomb method, liberally appy pipe bomb to the afflicted area. light fuse and:"
  • daemon13 said "tada! daren is back to full health. *disclaimer* d13 is not responsible for any injuries sustained through people attempting to follow his medical advice*"
  • Daren Elaine said "Careful Daemon, I may decide to apply to toolbox method, and it would be a shame if I mis-diagnosed you as injured....."
  • allenj81 said "Yeeeah... *Looks across room* Hey daemon, can you pass me my arm over agaisnt that wall? Your bomb seems to have blown it off"

Modesty?

Taken from the Forum..but too good not to post here. ~ Morg

  • Daren Elaine said "Come to think of it, considering that you guys invented naked twister, I'm surprised that the mere mention of the word 'modesty' here doesn't make the internet implode."

Proper Barricading Procedure

  • Alvy Fang said "Interesting, nothing outside our doors. This calls for a champagne."
  • Daren Elaine said "Or it calls for freaking out, boundless paranoia, and bludgeoning random people because we suspect the PKers are coming. Hey, speaking of which, where did my cinderblock get put?"
  • Alvy Fang said "it’s in the barricade, under the garden gnome."

Acceptable reasons for being late to the regroup point

  • StormGuru said "*Saunters down the corridor favouring one leg* Well Hello Everyone! I'm pleased to see you all again of course." (2 hours and 39 minutes ago)
  • StormGuru said "Sorry for my late arrival Morg I was conducting a pub crawl between Edgecombe and here and get sidetracked enough by a particularly good Ale" (2 hours and 38 minutes ago)
  • StormGuru said "That's when I failed to notice one of the other patrons starting to salivate at the sight of me..." (2 hours and 37 minutes ago)

First, it was kidneys...now, it's suspect sandwiches!

  • Darry Coldtrice said "God guys. I go to sleep for 12 hours and you guys can't keep yourselfs from foaming at the mouth and eating tainted sandwiches!" (54 minutes ago)

Saralan's Festive Cheer

  • Saralan said "*Dances around the foyer, swaying like a frond of seaweed*"
  • "*Points to the sky* *Points to the ground* *Points to the north* *Points to the east* *Points to the south* *Points to the west*"
  • "On the twelfth day of christmas, my true love gave to meeee...."
  • "12 first aid kits..."
  • "11 pistol clips..."
  • "10 newspapers..."
  • "9 DNA extractors..."
  • "8 wirecutters..."
  • "7 generators..."
  • "6 fire axes..."
  • "5 syrrr-iin-geeessss!!!"
  • "4 kitchen knives, 3 shotguns, 2 flare guns...."
  • "Aaaand then they filled Malton with zoooombiiieees!"
  • "And for my encore, the barricades are back at VSB+2! *Sweeps off her hat and bows*"
  • "Accolades, applause and admiration all welcome!"
  • daemon13 said "yaaaaaaay! *cheers for saralan*"
  • Janus Abernathy said "*puts roses at Saralan's feet*"
  • Saralan said "Thank you, thank you."

Mikhayl's Rendition of 'Jingle Bells'

  • Mikhayl Selmas said "*pulsl out his guitar and starts plaing cheerfully*"
  • "Over this craggy street..."
  • "Torn and filled with zeds...."
  • "I free run with my axe, and chop off all their heads!"
  • "apocalypse is coming soon, at least the weathers nice."
  • "Grab some msitletoe and kiss a dead head once or twice!"
  • "flamin zeds, rolling heads. Gore will fill the streets..."
  • "We're all getting eaten here like dainty salted meats!"
  • "Marching zeds, Nomming Heads, we'll all run away...."
  • "But we'll carol here in Malton on this happy holiday!"
  • "I went out for a rave....to a local bar."
  • "And then I met this man, who didn't let me get far."
  • "He asked me for soem change he said he hadn't had a bite since being dead..."
  • "So I gave him a nibble and he shot me in the head!"
  • "Stomping Zeds, Cracking heads, brains inside they taste."
  • "I hope they use some nice hsamppo so my brain will have a chance to baste!"
  • "Nearing death, losing breath, I'm about to die.....*strusm guitar in a proper latin fashion of very very fast*"
  • "If I get some mistletoe then I'll pass with a smiiiiiiile!!!!"
  • Saralan said "Woooooo! *Cheers and throws her hands in the air* Awesome, Mikhayl! *Flicks a lighter and waves it back and forth*"

At Last, Recognition!

  • Angel Wolf said "(grinning broadly) You people are nuts. Thank you for keeping this place open to tadpoles like me. One day, when I'm huge, I will find a way to pay you back. Maruruuru! God bless the MMS!"

The Correct Meat Shield Procedure

Mr Doctorz during the 'dying' stages of another St Ethelberts siege in Roftwood (11 Aug 2009)

  • "Oy! Zombies! Come and get a nibble! That's right; I dare you: Take me down if you've got what it takes! Dinner time!

*rings church bell* Ding Dong! Come and get it you slop-mouthed dullards!"

  • "Which one of you rotting corpses is man enough to take on The Doctor!? Well? Let's see if any of you have what it takes to kill a REAL survivor! OVER HERE, ZOMBIES!"

....Later:

  • "HEY; OVER HERE YOU FLEASH HUNEGRY IDIOTS! I'M TALKING TO YOU! NONE OF YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKS TO TAKE DOWN THE DOCTOR! I AM INVENCABLE! RUN IN FEAR FROM MY AWESUMNES, ZOMBIES! GO OPOATION BLACK STORM RISENG!"

Mr Doctorz reasoning: "I'm hoping that trenchcoater-esque grammar mistakes will entice them to ignore the more wounded survivors, but most of the hospital is on the ground or in the streets."

....Later:

  • "HAHA YOU DUM ZEDS CANT KILL ME IM BULLETPROOF YOU TRID TO KILL ME BUT IM STILL HERE TAKE THAT YOU LAME ZOMBES!!!!!!!"

3 minutes later in the IRC:

  • I've started getting some bites; I think the poor grammar is working.