Great Profiles: Difference between revisions

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This page is made for people to add memorable profiles seen in game, preserving it for all eternity (or wikiness) to enjoy. You should evaluate the humoristic or artistic quality of the text on your own, and please don't add your own character's profile. Insults and incomprehensible injokes are better left elsewhere, too. For the rest, as long as you saw it in the game, anything goes!
This page is made for people to add memorable profiles seen in game, preserving it for all eternity (or wikiness) to enjoy. You should evaluate the humoristic or artistic quality of the text on your own, and please don't add your own character's profile. Insults and incomprehensible in-jokes are better left elsewhere, too. For the rest, as long as you saw it in the game, anything goes!


If this amuses you, you might also like:
If this amuses you, you might also like:
Line 8: Line 8:
*The [[Amusing Locations in Malton]] list
*The [[Amusing Locations in Malton]] list
*[[Real Men of Genius]] radio commercial series
*[[Real Men of Genius]] radio commercial series
 
*And if you're desperate for more funny profiles you can try [[Great Profiles/UPH|Unfunny Profile Hell]]
==a Christmas Tree==
Decorated with red, green and white lights and several red, gold, silver and green bobbles hang off of the many branches. A bright gold star sits atop the tree.
 
==A drunk surgeon==
A Myopic and somewhat inebriated surgeon with shaky hands. Top of his class from mail order med school. Vodka Martini in one hand, and a medkit emblazoned with the letters [[RHVP]] in the other.


==Andy Warhol==
==Andy Warhol==
This zombie shambles around in a black turtleneck. For some reason you really want to punch him.
This zombie shambles around in a black turtleneck. For some reason you really want to punch him.
==Arachnis==
-If an infinite amount of Trenchcoaters fired an infinite amount of shotguns at an infinite amount of Zombies, they'd eventually write the greatest literary work ever made in misspellings of "STREETS IS WATCHIN"


==Aperaham Lincoln==
==Aperaham Lincoln==
Looks like the 16th U.S. President--but he has 48 chromosomes!
Looks like the 16th U.S. President--but he has 48 chromosomes!


==Avenrir==
==Arachnis==
I'm a little zombie<br/>
If an infinite amount of Trenchcoaters fired an infinite amount of shotguns at an infinite amount of Zombies, they'd eventually write the greatest literary work ever made in misspellings of "STREETS IS WATCHIN"
Short and stout<br/>
Watch me try to gouge<br/>
your eyes right out<br/>
 
Here come zombie hunters<br/>
Head Shots and all<br/>
Drat, I'm dead again.<br/>
Down I fall. 8D
 
==Axeblade Firestorm==
You'd say he looked silly if he didn't have that axe in his hand.
 
Wearing: A skipload of medieval armour
 
==Baby MJ==
Holy Shit! It's Michael Jackson!!... Oh SHIT!!! *Does Dance*


==Best Zombie Ever==
==Best Zombie Ever==
This zombie is seven feet tall and black, so you know he's hung like a warhorse. His eyes shoot lasers straight up all X-Men, and he has a tattoo of your mom on his arm. His blood is raw burning crude oil, and his teeth are made out of guns. Fuck you.
This zombie is seven feet tall and black, so you know he's hung like a warhorse. His eyes shoot lasers straight up all X-Men, and he has a tattoo of your mom on his arm. His blood is raw burning crude oil, and his teeth are made out of guns. Fuck you.
==Biker Nun==
When her convent was ransacked by a horde of zombies, she did the only thing she could do; She sewed herself a leather habit from a hell's angels jacket and stole a hog. She sometimes rides with the Hell's Satans.
Wearing: a tattered and blood-soaked wimple, a broken and blood-smeared silver medallion of Saint John and tattered and blood-soaked black robes
Group: The Hell's Satans
==Bit Nibbler==
Tactical bathrobe, combat slippers and pith helmet cover his chubby body. A cold flash in his eyes send a message, message that tells you that getting yourself between this man and his candybars is a fatal mistake.
==bnops==
He is an infamous super villian who emerged from hiding in the Malton area to finally bring death and destruction to all. You should have seen it when he saw that the zombies beat him to it.
Hes now trying to preserve Malton to destroy it later.


==Brian Pratt==
==Brian Pratt==
I go to the bathroom for one minute and all this happens.
I go to the bathroom for one minute and all this happens.
==[[Wikipedia:List of characters in King of the Hill#Strickland_Propane|Buck Strickland]]==
Sick and tired of selling propane and propane accessories, this neurotic Texan has gone crazy after a propane emergency went unanswered.
<br>
Has a bolt-action rifle strapped to his back, and two pistols strapped to his ankles.


==Cardboard Cutout==
==Cardboard Cutout==
A mildly-descript survivor. Quite thin, a bit glossy.
A mildly-descript survivor. Quite thin, a bit glossy.


==COOKIE MONSTER==
==Criminal Monster==
ME EAT COOKIE!<br>
OM NOM NOM NOM!
 
Wearing: a chef's hat and a blue coat
 
==Criminal Monster==
 
This survivor is a Republican. When killed, he becomes a soulless, blood-sucking criminal fascist monster. In other words, nothing changes.
This survivor is a Republican. When killed, he becomes a soulless, blood-sucking criminal fascist monster. In other words, nothing changes.


==Doc Huvuulloo==
==Doktor Schabbs==
His Blue Labcoat has the word 'Trenchcoat' spray painted on the back. He's got an eye patch (over his broken glasses) with 'feral gleam' written in red marker.
year of birth: 1894<br />
He's also not wearing pants... ♫
profession: scientist<br />
Year of death: 1944<br />
reactivated as a zombie in 2009<br />
creator: unknown<br />
instructions: unknown


==Ed Poe==
==Frosty the Snowman==
Wearing: a black top hat, a bloodstained black tie, a bloodstained white long-sleeved shirt, a blood-flecked black waistcoat, a blood-flecked black tailcoat, a charred and tattered pair of black trousers and a blood-soaked pair of black shoes


Real name: Edgar Allan Poe
'''Human:''' He used to be a jolly, happy soul. Now there is a stark, empty blackness to his coal eyes. All of his little freinds have been taken away, and he's looking for some payback.


==GangstaYoda==
'''Zombie:''' A top hat rests askew on his weary head. His button nose twitches at the scent of human flesh, a corn-cob pipe dangling carelessly from his mouth...
Due to his green appearance, most survivors believe he is a zed in human form. In reality he has a rare disease that not only makes him green, but lethally dangerous. Crossing blades with him is something only a dumbass would do.


Wearing: a blood-soaked pale green medical facemask, a blood-smeared doctor's headband mirror, a torn and blood-soaked green tie, a blood-soaked green long-sleeved shirt, a torn and blood-soaked dark brown jacket, a blood-soaked pair of black trousers and a blood-soaked pair of pale green surgical shoe covers
==Giles Sednik==
 
He has a cop-style mustache and a hairy chest. Unfortunately you don't notice either, since you find it impossible to take your eyes off his package.
==[[wikipedia:Hank Hill|Hank Rutherford Hill]]==
An overweight, suburban Texan eager to end the zombie menace and return to selling propane and propane accessories.
 
Wearing: a white short-sleeved shirt, a pair of dark blue trousers and a pair of brown shoes


==Harman Spy==
==Harman Spy==
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==I AM THE BATMAN==
==I AM THE BATMAN==
As you look into the darkness a figure begins to appear, you feel your body freeze as out of the shadows steps a frightening costumed figure.<br>
As you look into the darkness a figure begins to appear, you feel your body freeze as out of the shadows steps a frightening costumed figure.<br />
While you shake, he screams I AM THE BATMAN then runs the fuck off.
While you shake, he screams I AM THE BATMAN then runs the fuck off.
===IheartPKers===
i don't really heart pkers. It was just a witty name. Please don't kill me.


==I LoveToPoop==
==I LoveToPoop==
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==Jacob Bloodspatter==
==Jacob Bloodspatter==
Having been given an incredibly butch name by his katana-toting, treanch coat-sporting, former special forces father, Jake rebelled and became the most foppishly gay swish ever to walk the planet.
Having been given an incredibly butch name by his katana-toting, treanch coat-sporting, former special forces father, Jake rebelled and became the most foppishly gay swish ever to walk the planet.
==Joe the tourist==
A lost tourist, wearing a bulky flak jacket and a pistol holster. There are 24 kill notches carved into the grip of the pistol in the holster. He is holding an expensive camera and a dirty hungarian phrasebook.


==Johnny Cabbages==
==Johnny Cabbages==
A grim, trenchcoated survivor with plenty of trenchcoats in his trenchcoat. He has a scar across his trenchcoat in the shape of his own ice-cold eyes. In his hands he carries seventy-eight shotguns and nine swords, all wrapped in protective trenchcoats.
A grim, trenchcoated survivor with plenty of trenchcoats in his trenchcoat. He has a scar across his trenchcoat in the shape of his own ice-cold eyes. In his hands he carries seventy-eight shotguns and nine swords, all wrapped in protective trenchcoats.
==Kaerof==
This zombie has a metal and cloth lampshade on its head which has been perforated by at least ten bullets. It doesn't seem to notice.
==King Coffey==
not an albino
==Lil' Stiny==
Unremarkable build, but nothing like his nickname suggests, which was given to him by his escort of soldiers before the ambush by zombie rights activists. He doesn't understand the origin of the name, nor does he care - there are worse things going on.
==Lotsa Fish==
Mostly anadromous.


==Lucky Liveforever==
==Lucky Liveforever==
You look at him, and you just somehow don't think he's going to make it.
You look at him, and you just somehow don't think he's going to make it.


==mcjethro==
==White House==
To this guy black is the new black. Everything he owns is black, from his black first aid kit and guns to his pitch black soul. The epitome of policeman turned zombie turned goth turned zombie hunter.
Vague, confused, stumbling around without a clue. The zombie apocalypse hasn't really changed much.
 
Wearing: a pair of mirrored sunglasses, a black bandanna, a studded leather collar, a black T-shirt, a black jacket, a black greatcoat, a pair of black jeans and a pair of black boots
 
==Obama's Corpse==
I'm making a safer Malton: A Survivor Haven. Yearly, our undeterred resolve grants every night, every revive, a triumphant ordeal revivifying survivors.
 
Real name: Sacred Ground Is Hope


''Note: This is his zombie profile.''
=Add new profiles here=


==Pathetic' Bill==  
'''Please place your new funny profiles below this header and they will be voted on once we get a few candidates, this is to avoid cluttering up the page like it was before clean-up. If you do not put the profile under this header it will be unceremoniously deleted off the page.'''
PLEASE REVIVE ME. I AM VEGAN AND CAN'T EAT BRAINS!
<!--- Put the new profiles under this line following the format of the ones above, thank you --->
==Dennis Wise==
Dennis is a boss-eyed slack-jawed dwarf with an irritating cheeky chirpy cockney manner. He's wearing a soiled nappy & someone has stapled a Gas Mask to his face. From the instant you see him you want to torture him at length with blunt powertools.<br />
Group: Ex-Leeds, but still Scum
[http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=298893]
===Keep votes===


==Snugglebees==
===Reject votes===
Man, does this guy look like he needs a hug.


==The Revivinificator==
==MhrDur==
As a lab worker for the NecroTech corporation, The Revivinificator took part in the fatal experiment which spawned the Malton zombie apocalypse. He evacuated the city after the outbreak, but returned because some jerk told him there was candy in Malton.
Murder is the only word this down syndrome zombie child can say, with a goofy grin.
[http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1982977 Profile Link].


==Tony Horndog==
Wearing: a torn and blood-soaked white seizure helmet, a torn and blood-soaked black shirt saying Ra tard!, soiled diapers, sitting in a broken wheelchair
I'd rather be dead than zed!


==Wayne D Overholser==
===Keep votes===
Wayne, a mustache-twirling flamboyant member of Miltons formerly vibrant cross dressing scene, has only one thing in mind: Strut those heels.
#Best overall profile I've seen in quite some time. Especially the outfit <small>-- [[User:Boxy|boxy]] 11:45, 29 March 2012 (BST)</small>
#WOW. Going to hell, but I can't say no. {{User:DanceDanceRevolution/a}} 09:35, 27 September 2012 (BST)
#I shouldn't laugh but still, we need good content. <small>-- [[User:DiamondT]] --</small>


==White House==
===Reject votes===
Vague, confused, stumbling around without a clue. The zombie apocalypse hasn't really changed much.
#'''Reject''' - HOW DO YOU TEAR A HELMET, GOOD SIR? &middot; [[User:Amazing|<span style="border-left: 1px solid #aaa; border-top: 1px solid #aaa; border-bottom: 1px solid #aaa; color: #aaa; text-decoration: none; background-color: #eee; padding: 2px 0 2px 2px;">Amazing</span>]][[User_talk:Amazing|<span style="border-right: 1px solid #888; border-top: 1px solid #888; border-bottom: 1px solid #888; color: #eee; text-decoration: none; background-color: #aaa; padding: 2px 2px 2px 0;">phobia</span>]] 06:38, 27 September 2012 (BST)


==ZS==
==umopapisdn==
A gold fish on a rollerskate with a .45 duct taped to the side.
.ɹoʌıʌɹns ʇdıɹɔsǝp-uou ɐ.  [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1365326 Profile Link].
===Keep Votes===
#'''Keep''' - Read the name with your head upside-down.  {{User:BillyClubThorton/signature}} 19:16, 17 December 2011 (UTC)
#'''Keep''' - per BillyClubThorton. Upside down name, etc. --[[User:Milton|Milton]] 20:00, 19 February 2012 (UTC)
#'''Keep''' - [http://iamscott.net/1330535918646.html ProfileWit] in case he changes his description. --{{User:Axe Hack/Sig}} 17:20, 29 February 2012 (UTC)
#:Is it just me, or does that ProfileWit link link garble his description? <small>-- [[User:Boxy|boxy]] 11:47, 29 March 2012 (BST)</small>
#::It ain't just you. {{User:Chief Seagull/Sig}} 14:19, 29 March 2012 (BST)
#:::Well fuck me... --{{User:Axe Hack/Sig}} 15:50, 29 March 2012 (BST)
#my face when.... :O {{User:DanceDanceRevolution/a}} 09:35, 27 September 2012 (BST)
#yes but upside down for humor <small>-- [[User:DiamondT]] --</small>


==Jim Morrisons Corpse==
===Reject Votes===
A ragged rock singer with a gun and only one plan: be out of here when the music's over.


[[Category:Humor]]
[[Category:Humour]]

Latest revision as of 14:57, 24 November 2019

This page is made for people to add memorable profiles seen in game, preserving it for all eternity (or wikiness) to enjoy. You should evaluate the humoristic or artistic quality of the text on your own, and please don't add your own character's profile. Insults and incomprehensible in-jokes are better left elsewhere, too. For the rest, as long as you saw it in the game, anything goes!

If this amuses you, you might also like:

Andy Warhol

This zombie shambles around in a black turtleneck. For some reason you really want to punch him.

Aperaham Lincoln

Looks like the 16th U.S. President--but he has 48 chromosomes!

Arachnis

If an infinite amount of Trenchcoaters fired an infinite amount of shotguns at an infinite amount of Zombies, they'd eventually write the greatest literary work ever made in misspellings of "STREETS IS WATCHIN"

Best Zombie Ever

This zombie is seven feet tall and black, so you know he's hung like a warhorse. His eyes shoot lasers straight up all X-Men, and he has a tattoo of your mom on his arm. His blood is raw burning crude oil, and his teeth are made out of guns. Fuck you.

Brian Pratt

I go to the bathroom for one minute and all this happens.

Cardboard Cutout

A mildly-descript survivor. Quite thin, a bit glossy.

Criminal Monster

This survivor is a Republican. When killed, he becomes a soulless, blood-sucking criminal fascist monster. In other words, nothing changes.

Doktor Schabbs

year of birth: 1894
profession: scientist
Year of death: 1944
reactivated as a zombie in 2009
creator: unknown
instructions: unknown

Frosty the Snowman

Human: He used to be a jolly, happy soul. Now there is a stark, empty blackness to his coal eyes. All of his little freinds have been taken away, and he's looking for some payback.

Zombie: A top hat rests askew on his weary head. His button nose twitches at the scent of human flesh, a corn-cob pipe dangling carelessly from his mouth...

Giles Sednik

He has a cop-style mustache and a hairy chest. Unfortunately you don't notice either, since you find it impossible to take your eyes off his package.

Harman Spy

Do not mind me, little harmanz! I am one of you! Just like you! See? I am not a spy!

I AM THE BATMAN

As you look into the darkness a figure begins to appear, you feel your body freeze as out of the shadows steps a frightening costumed figure.
While you shake, he screams I AM THE BATMAN then runs the fuck off.

I LoveToPoop

Wearing: A pair of brown trousers

Jacob Bloodspatter

Having been given an incredibly butch name by his katana-toting, treanch coat-sporting, former special forces father, Jake rebelled and became the most foppishly gay swish ever to walk the planet.

Johnny Cabbages

A grim, trenchcoated survivor with plenty of trenchcoats in his trenchcoat. He has a scar across his trenchcoat in the shape of his own ice-cold eyes. In his hands he carries seventy-eight shotguns and nine swords, all wrapped in protective trenchcoats.

Lucky Liveforever

You look at him, and you just somehow don't think he's going to make it.

White House

Vague, confused, stumbling around without a clue. The zombie apocalypse hasn't really changed much.

Add new profiles here

Please place your new funny profiles below this header and they will be voted on once we get a few candidates, this is to avoid cluttering up the page like it was before clean-up. If you do not put the profile under this header it will be unceremoniously deleted off the page.

Dennis Wise

Dennis is a boss-eyed slack-jawed dwarf with an irritating cheeky chirpy cockney manner. He's wearing a soiled nappy & someone has stapled a Gas Mask to his face. From the instant you see him you want to torture him at length with blunt powertools.
Group: Ex-Leeds, but still Scum [1]

Keep votes

Reject votes

MhrDur

Murder is the only word this down syndrome zombie child can say, with a goofy grin. Profile Link.

Wearing: a torn and blood-soaked white seizure helmet, a torn and blood-soaked black shirt saying Ra tard!, soiled diapers, sitting in a broken wheelchair

Keep votes

  1. Best overall profile I've seen in quite some time. Especially the outfit -- boxy 11:45, 29 March 2012 (BST)
  2. WOW. Going to hell, but I can't say no. A ZOMBIE ANT 09:35, 27 September 2012 (BST)
  3. I shouldn't laugh but still, we need good content. -- User:DiamondT --

Reject votes

  1. Reject - HOW DO YOU TEAR A HELMET, GOOD SIR? · Amazingphobia 06:38, 27 September 2012 (BST)

umopapisdn

.ɹoʌıʌɹns ʇdıɹɔsǝp-uou ɐ. Profile Link.

Keep Votes

  1. Keep - Read the name with your head upside-down.  Billy Club Thorton  T!  RR  19:16, 17 December 2011 (UTC)
  2. Keep - per BillyClubThorton. Upside down name, etc. --Milton 20:00, 19 February 2012 (UTC)
  3. Keep - ProfileWit in case he changes his description. --•▬ ▬••▬ • •••• •▬ ▬•▬• ▬•▬ #nerftemplatedsigs 17:20, 29 February 2012 (UTC)
    Is it just me, or does that ProfileWit link link garble his description? -- boxy 11:47, 29 March 2012 (BST)
    It ain't just you. ~~ Chief Seagull ~~ talk 14:19, 29 March 2012 (BST)
    Well fuck me... --•▬ ▬••▬ • •••• •▬ ▬•▬• ▬•▬ #nerftemplatedsigs 15:50, 29 March 2012 (BST)
  4. my face when.... :O A ZOMBIE ANT 09:35, 27 September 2012 (BST)
  5. yes but upside down for humor -- User:DiamondT --

Reject Votes

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