Bowring Blackwatch

Bowring Blackwatch
Abbreviation:	Blackwatch
Group Numbers:	cupple here, cupple there
Leadership:	Joel Laffs, Max Miller, akdov, femlafrog, Greye Mortand
Goals:	Keeping things shiney for survivors around Bowring St PD, Old Arkhan + Spicer Hills, drink beer, barbeque.
Recruitment Policy:	Go to Bowring PD have a beer and figure it out.
Contact:	femlafrog

A barely coherent group of semi-creative malcontents based out of Bowring Way Police Department, [20,98]. We drink beer, Orange Whips, or moonshine brewed from old radiator fluid and stale candy, play bocce ball, wiffle ball, talk non-sense, read stuff (by the way, if you haven't read something by Greg Palast, or Noam Chomskey recently or ever, do so immediately or remian ignorant) - Oh, and if you feel up to it, just take a trip through *Against the Day* by Thomas Pynchon - I know, I re-read *The Great Gatsby* and *Fight Club* in the middle for a breather ... but seriously take the ride it's worth the effort ... Yeah, so we goof-off and patrol the general area around Spicer Hills in an effort to keep survivors alive and skippy.

Allies

Anyone who will bring beer, and can refrain from acting like a Douche. All the crews we consider true allies, you know who you are - Big Love. Everybody else - it's none of your business, we're not hanging targets on anyone else's back. PKing is NOT tolerated, except for cheesey zed spies and other assorted PKing douchekits.

Objectives and Operations

Cold Beer, Orange Whips and Quality Leisure Time.

Zombie Iggy Pop says: "Bowring Blackwatch's parties are kickass, and I'm an authority on the subject. Whether it's Youngblood with a cold case of domestics, Miller with a finely-aged scotch or Buck Russell with his signature Orange Whips, it's always a rockin' time at Bowring Way PD!" This is so Silly it can never go away.

?????

With all this death and re-birth one ponders the possibility of our Maltonian brethren attaining Nirvana. And whether a Buddhist Nirvana and a Christian Heaven are one in the same? And if Christ could turn water into wine, why would he suffer the back-breaking labor of a carpenter instead of opening up a pub?

The human Body is 98% percent water. Jesus could have been an unstoppable killing machine, turning all his rivals in to a delicious fermented grape beverage, but he would not do this to the homeless, because quality wine does not live in a box.

What's New

The Chowders have returned along with a big fat group of Zeds - and playing as Zeds .... Nice. Anyhoo, we got flattened and will rebuild soon enough. Buck got into a one on one with an active Zed - Expert Shotgunner vs. Grappling Undead Corpse - needless to say Uncle Buck was forced to retreat and lose the building ... This absurdity combined with an inability to even find dead zombies after you kill them in dark buildings, so they just stand back up and resume gnawing upon you - on top of all the other silly rules, has necessitated a reconsideration of the concept of RETREEEEEEAT !!!

On that note though, the once forgotten joy of capping Chowders is readily available.

A moment to pause upon the fruits of the dedication to a doctorine. Present amongst our clan sit former enemies, and other assorted ramdoms following antithical pursuits. Harmonious and cooperative existing in a loose collection of mutual respect.

...and beer. Beer and mutual respect. - Murderhammer

Iocaine Powder will henceforth be known as "Spokane Chowder" - This never gets old. Huh Huh, "moose 'nads"

Ass Clowns & Power Tools

Where we lovingly expose assorted yambags who have proven themselves to be nothing but slugs on the lettuce leaf of Malton society

*PvtChrisopher* of The 7th Stockman Walk Brigade for being a pking b*tch ... way to go ... we'll all be sure to *Join the 7th Stockman Walk Brigade* to keep Spicer Hills safe, like your endless stupid tagging says. Welcome to the KOS list, and happy hunting ... for a new suburb I mean.

All you wandering sissies who holed up in our digs and revitalized yourselves in the tenuous safety of our battle ridden complex while openly plotting where next to run and hide instead of making a stand and making a contribution. You know who you are and GFY. Uhhh, we may need to reconsider this section ....

All the groups who contribute nothing and do nothing to help maintain - BUT tag the crap out of our suburb with their stupid URLs and "Tiny URLs... whatever." ... "eehhh, go to http\www.i like fishsticks in my rectum.com" - stop it already.

A Brief History of The Chowder's Sissy Moves - Despite being OLD, this section stays

Changing Their Whole Modus Operandi in Response to Blackwatch Calling Them Out

You can follow the history right here - just keep reading. First they're a Zombie Group, we call them out for using human spies - they say they're a Zombie-Human Group. We call them out for hiding their characters under different group names, then they say they've joined a new group. We call them out on that, they disband the new group.

... By the way, girls it's one of 7 applications open at a time - it's called "multi-tasking".

Changing Players' Group Affiliation

Iocaine Powder, oops, Spokane Chowder members change their players group affiliation to hide. First it was "Dotts" joining "Blackwatch" - PKing under our Tartan. "Redsnapper", "ohnothenamedoesntfi" and "jaykutter", were are aligned with the mythical "Arkham Department of Police and Fire Emergency" PKing as usual, "Nunattack" was with the "Lt. Potter Fan Club"?? - whatever.

Posting Bounties on PK boards against the very players They PK

There are no words ....

Posting fruity shoutouts from friends

"Hi boys, it's me Poofta from Kingdom of Loathing, just wanted to wish you luck in your new game ... did you get the fruit basket? Tell cankergoyle not to worry about that "thing" - I just got tested, and the Doc says it's nothing. OK, call me! Smooches - Mwaaah!"

Removing fruity shoutouts after we make fun of them for it

Tools

Posting BS body counts and writing songs about them

The only time you Marys ever killed 32 of anything in one shot was the 32 butter cookies you ate at the LAN party thrown by "Jaykutter" and his mom.

Deleted from Spokane Chowder's page (Please Note, this section is NOT endorsed by all of Blackwatch - it's kinda mean)

Why do we claim to have outplayed Blackwatch and affiliated groups when they have total control of their area and we can't hang onto any adjacent buildings at all?

Hey, we had midterms! And most of us aren't allowed on the family computer after 8pm anyway. At least, not on school nights. One day, we will totally be able to compete with our adult adversaries. Redsnapper even reports his first body hair! Ooh, you guys just wait til we start getting our learner's permits! But hey - we can type curse words just as well as the grown-ups! Nyaaa!

Timeline and other Shyte

Please put newest items at top

14 August 2008

Right, we got flattened again and are currently regrouping.

31 July 2008

OK, so the surf has settled the jellyfish are early ... lotsa folks let themselves get kilt in the ocean so far this year ... big storms offshore and a failure to consider the enormity of gaia ... godspeed to you all ... to *us* - good past few weeks - 8' egg/thrust was my big love ... to the rest of you - wake up and pay attention dammit !!! --Akdov 00:18, 1 August 2008 (BST)

21 July 2008

Bracing for a possible attack heading this way. But mostly just sitting around drinking beers and whatever other alcohol comes this way...and there seems to be a lot of it flowing in. Hoping for some action sooner or later. -Doc McGuffin

25 June 2008

The area is for the most part clear. Only one or two zeds ambling around at any one point. Rumors of trouble in New Arkham are popping up occasionally, but f*ck them, they're all the way over there.

9 June 2008

Right, we've been sadly lax regarding our self promotion ... some would argue that this is in part (really entirely) due to akdov's temporary removal from the general public. Greye, Doc, and Murderhammer can pick up the slack dammit Write Boys WRITE !!!! - jimbo honohan

6 June 2008

Many congrats go to all the peeps that stuck around during the battle to retake back our home. It's been quiet for about a week now...altho rumors of the idjit Globetrotters spiced things up briefly...so we're busy spreading skulls around and stocking up. Oh, and killing idjit people who like testing pistols on people. Docmortand 09:08, 6 June 2008 (BST)

27 MAY 2008

Yeah, we are decidedly lame regarding our WIKI maintenance...whutuvit?...

18 May 2008

Welp, the zombie wave has come and gone...sort of. There is still many breakins, but we seem to have weathered the main wave...now to chase away the idiots. By the way...anybody notice Papa Zito of Chowder fame is part of the idiot zed crowd? On my friend list, Papa is the only Chowder who hasn't idled out. Bravo, Papa...now git. --Docmortand 07:08, 18 May 2008 (BST)

6 May 2008

F the globetrotters - by the way Doc, Those girlies got run down and killed back, in kind, just lovely thank you. Props they are organised, efficient and mobile ... but ... we turn to more pressing matters like the "not the big bash" zombie hoard that just rolled through spearheaded by the PKing Malton Asstrotters ... we knew it was all a ruse to waste ammo and supplies, but we couldn't help retaliate ... come again girls ... huh huh. Oh, sorry about the wait for revives to all you folks in Dickin Park .... we will get to ya ... these things always seem to happen when life outside Malton kicks it up a notch for, well, at least me and my mine .... anyhoo, life outside Malton is getting Sunny, wetsuit is almost gone ... Galactic is going on 1:30am Friday night at Mountain Jam this year ....

22 April

We just got smoked by the Malton Globetrotters in a major PK offensive. As one of three that I saw that got killed...and probably there is more...I move that these idiots get put on the KOS list ASAP. --Docmortand 02:33, 22 April 2008 (BST)

1 April

Things are pretty much back to normal. A few zeds wandering around, but the massive waiting line at Dickin Park has been cleared; now it is time to return to the rigorous task of consuming alcohol and getting baked.

19 March

Looking better now. Getting things back in order. It really is simply a numbers game. Oh, thanks for the clarification -- WanYao, (see below, and you're welcome, feel free to post you drivel on our WIKI ... sometimes I wish this was real life so i could record myself beating people like you down my block with a bag of fish guts).

Look pal, we really don't give a furry rat's ass what name or title the latest f*cking zed festival bears as it steamrolls through our town. It's not like a distinction between *Bonaroo* and *Mountain Jam* - it's just a sh*tload of zeds - and their douchebag spies and pkers and gkers and whatever - with nothing but unlimited free time - and annoying computer dork tricks to circumvent the IP access limits ... who inevitably wear us down whilst massaging Kevan's prostate with their tongues. FU and the Big Bash. See ya next time you flatten our suburb.

Oh, and Murderhammer - thanks for the contributions to the WIKI. Finally someone else in this retarded group with something to say. There was some speculation amongs Laffs and Max that your newest additions were actually me during a martini fuelled blackout ... but then they realized you could spell and articluate in proper english - and that was that - their concession - "oh good there's another moron to help keep you (me) company." --Akdov 22:38, 19 March 2008 (UTC)

13 March 2008

Well, that all went downhill. Zeds have ruined the Police Department and The Button Building, over eighty outside, including those at the park. Much like The South, we will rise again. Unlike The South, we will actually rise again.

10 March 2008

The big bash is slowly working its way over to the Spicer Hills area. A few survivors have already cut and run. But Bowring stands strong in its dedication to total inebriation. As of March 10 at 19:58 no large hordes have been sighted, and most of the scouts were seeing triple...

For your information, the Second Big Bash is not in Spicer Hills. It's nowhere near Spicer Hills -- it's in Edgecombe at the moment. --WanYao 01:12, 9 March 2008 (UTC)

• Sorry, Murderhammer, who is highly incompetent, though very good looking, believed it was the Big Bash. He was wrong, and he is sorry.*

10 January 2008

Wow. It's really quiet in Spicer ... kinda creepy. Akdov suggests sending a fire team to Caiger Mall to pitch in up there. To be voted on. And who really wants to make that treck?

03 October 2007

We never seem to edit this section. Well, Spicer was a war zone, then it wasn't, now it will soon be again. The complex at the Eastern border (which we don't have the staff to defend any longer) fell in a day. The survivors out there seemed to cut and run. Oh well.

25 July 2007

Spicer Hills is back under control of the living thanks to the efforts of Blackwatch and our Allies. A relatively new group named R.I.P. has laid claim to our HQ. Strange... Anyway, The home distillery is back on line and we are once again cranking out that magical liquor made of old radiator fluid and stale candy. Warning consumption may cause irritability, hallucinations, projectile vomiting, blindness and death.

21 December 2006

All sorts of odd characters rolling into town. Our guess is that when the Chowders left OUR suburb (claiming victory in retreat), they rolled up some n00bs, leveled them up and are using them as DL spies - bacause the attacks have begun. Yawn. No matter. With or without your crappy new spies this area will remain under our control or at worst (when we get otherwise distracted) in relative chaos. The Chowders will continue to "pwn" nothing but a mouthful Blackwatch's smirking revenge.

With all due respect to the Chowders - we all have begrudgingly come to admit - that without them Blackwatch would likely have grown bored and quit the damn game. Rock on dudes - and Pabalazoo, you are a true PK poet - one of your last PK speeches got IM'd to all, and to all a good night.

30 November 2006

So with the Chowders claiming victory in retreat, Spicer Hills has grown quiet. A few "Drunken Dead" and some other group we can't recall wandered through without much incident. Scattered zombie activity in central Spicer but that's it. Blackwatch members are not initiating violence against random zombies unless attacked, or if they are tearing down barricades. Instead Blackwatch is directing zombies to Dickin Park for revives. Barbeque, beers, bocce ball, and horseshoes in Dickin Park on Sundays is back so come one come all. Lawn Darts is OUT following the incident with Kooky McSpook.

26 October 2006

Holy Cow !!! Some members of Blackwatch who had grown bored with the current situation wandered off on little walkabouts. It has been reported that at least two were PK'd in distant suburbs by folks from Philosophe Knights, and Red Rum. (Both groups admitting to, no embracing, noooo ... WALLOWING in their objectives as PKers - take note Chowders, just come out of the closet). Both PKers indicated knowledge of the Blackwatch - Chowder tit for tat .... Well All Right !!! I think we owe this one to the Chowders. Big props kids, we've gone National or Maltonal ... whatever.

With everyone's favorite tag maven - the one and only Ultimate Jack Spicer - having tagged everything that doesn't move in Spicer Hills, we suggest you don't fall asleep - you may be next. We've got to recruit this cat.

19 October, 2006

With the outside support withdrawing from Spicer Hills on the message: "See ya around, give a call if you need any help", Iocaine Powder actually managed to kill some Blackwatch and OAR survivors while playing as ZOMBIES! Finally. Good job girls, it's about time. Blackwatch members are not killing IP zeds, just the little Zerg-Bots they leave in ransacked buildings to prevent barricading. Oh, and their human PKers. Things in Spicer Hills and Old Arkham are otherwise stable, but for the area around Bowring P.D., which has become a relatively predictable stalemate. For all the bragging and self promotion, Iocaine Powder has proven to be little more than a nuisance. The only thing they "pwn" is an overzealous PR department. Admittedly, they do have really funny profiles and do give us something to talk about, but that's really about it. Blackwatch did face a "legit" "highly organized" enemy once in the Ridleybank Resistance Front who rolled through Spicer and had the area dancing like a Brooklyn pigeon coop hitting tar beach at noon in August - until they left it in shambles - but this ain't that.

It has been suggested, and we agree, that this Iocaine Powder is actually a group of imposters. Everyone knows that Iocaine Powder comes from Australia. Everyone knows Aussies LOVE their beer. These alleged Iocaine Powder members have shown marked disdain for our love of beer, and have been known to smash full bottles of beer. This is a sin no Aussie would ever commit. Ever. This crew is obviously not from Australia - clearly not Iocaine Powder. Not knowing this group's true origins, they shall henceforth be known as "Spokane Chowder". Yeah, mostly because it rhymes, but also, because Spokane is a beautiful city in Washington State near the American Rocky Mountains, and a local delicacy in this region, would be a lovely bowl of "Rocky Mountain Oyster Chowder". The chowder is chock full of those famous "Rocky Mountain Oysters" - so the name seems to fit like a glove. (For those of you from across the pond, and anyone else who may not know, Rocky Mountain Oysters are otherwise identified as Moose 'nads. And - Yes people do eat them! EEEEeeeewwwwww!!!!). So belly up folks, what you do smell is a steaming bowl of Moose 'nads.

If anyone reads this - don't believe the crap Spokane Chowder is posting in the PKer boards about Blackwatch and OAR - We Don't PK. Except for PKing the Chowders - those Mary's we PK. And since they are really a PK group anyway - it doesn't count.

22 September, 2006

Regarding Iocaine Powder's Latest WIKI Updates

BAAAAAHHHHHHHHH AHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA ..... oh, oh AAAHHHHH HA HA HA AH HA HA HAAAAAA haha ahha ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaa ...... oh, oh, ... oh stop wait, AHHHHH HA HA HA HA HA AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH BAH HA HA HA AAAAAAAAAahhahhhhahhhhhh ... oh, that's funny ....... wait, wait, what's this now?

"We're a Zombie Group, no we're a Human group ... no wait, WE'RE BOTH !!!" "We're a floor wax AND a dessert topping."

The fact is, IP uses human players to scout locations and to kill other human players. DUH ! What did you think that means? AAAAHHH HAHHAHAHAHAHAaaaaaaa oh boy. - THAT makes Iocaine Powder PKers.

The fact is, IP tags up Lies about Bowring Blackwatch being PKers, and now, they've taken some of IP's characters and edited their profiles to say they are members of Bowring Blackwatch - Uh, "Dotts" ?? Nobody told us that the former Iocaine Powder member "Dotts", who incidentally PK'd many members of Bowring Blackwatch had joined our group. AAAAHHHH ha haaaaaa hahahaaaa RIIIGHT. O.K. Luca Brazzi, welcome, come right in!! Wait, she didn't even talk to anyone, she just changed her profile!!! - That makes Iocaine Powder Liars.

The fact is, that there are TONS of brand new low level zeds (and humans) who arrived in the area with Iocaine Powder's declaration of war. These low level zeds have no group affiliation, never seem to attack anyone, but always seem to end up standing in ransacked buildings that have just been routed from within and without by upper level Iocaine Powder members, for no other reason than to prevent re-barricading. Uhhhh, yeah. - That makes Iocaine Powder Zergers

The fact is, that members of other human groups have questioned members of Bowring Blackwatch about Iocaine Powder and this little unprovoked war they've declared. Blackwatch members have advised others that IP plays as a PKer group as well as a zombie group, and they should beware. IP now claims that Blackwatch members are "whining" - huh? IP pointing their finger and calling Blackwatch "whiners" for advising other groups about the facts of IP's tactics, could be classified as "lying", but we prefer to categorize that as "general douchery". Gimme a "D", gimme an "O", gimme a "U" ... ahh, you get it. - That makes Iocaine Powder Douchey.

The sad fact is, that throughout this little incursion, Bowring Blackwatch members have been forced to resort to PKing members of Iocaine Powder because there is no other tactic to maintain the balance. Bummer. Blackwatch continues to maintain a no PK policy for everyone except IP, and an open door policy for any humans who wish to come by have a few beers, kill a few zombies, play a little bocce ball, do some reading ... whatever. Welcome. Although things are admittedly a little bit sporty right now, and there's not much recreational time these days with this whole little war thing.

And a big thanks to all the groups and individulas (We know who you are !!) who have selflessly come to support the good fight in the battle for Spicer Hills and Old Arkham.

16 August, 2006

The claims of PKing are silly and deceptive. PKing is not tolerated by Blackwatch members. The main objective of The Bowring Blackwatch is to drink beer and the occasional "Orange Whip" when Uncle Buck scrounges the ingredients from the mall.

War has been declared upon our humble territory by Iocaine Powder, a Zombie Group. This is unacceptable because they destroy our generators which means warm beer, and no "Orange Whips" as they require a blender, which requires power.

Members of Iocaine Powder have been hiding in our buidings, as survivors, amongst the living. They never bring beer, chips, pretzels .... nothing! Normally this isn't so bad, we willingly share our beer with others, however, these guys are also wrecking barricades and generators. (see above). Worse, we suspect they are responsible for smashing full bottles of beer - Imagine?

Blackwatch members have reported killing at least 9 members of Iocaine Powder playing as survivors in our buildings over the past few days. This begets the obvious question: "If Iocaine Powder is a Zombie Group, why are so many members alive and mingling (empty handed) amongst the survivors in the very territory upon which they've declared war?"

16 August, 2006

Members of the Blackwatch have been accused of "killing innocents" and have been PK'ed in retaliation for killing zombies. Look, if you are a member of a zombie group, especially one that attacks NT buildings, Hospitals and other largely populated buildings, guess what? YOU'RE GOING TO GET SHOT. SURVIVAL IS THE POINT OF THE GAME.

Don't cry over spilt milk.

Just to clear the air for any bystanders involved, the Bowring Blackwatch of Spicer Hills does not condone PK'ing, and anyone caught doing so on a repetitive basis is blacklisted. But if someone attacks us (zombie or human), or is a unknown Zombie, they will be killed. The same goes for generator smashers, and all other assorted wankers and tossers.

We are currently at war with Iocaine Powder. Being a human and spying out our buildings will offer no immunity. Our humans will kill their humans, our zombies will kill their zombies.

That's how war goes.

July 13th, 2006 - The Blackwatch's policy of ZK'ing until revived is still in place-HELP IS ON THE WAY- don't give up HOPE- This morning members of the Blackwatch ZK squad have liberated the NT building and will now focus on ZK'ing all Unknown Zombies out in front of Bowring PD- The Blackwatch appologizes to all zombies Zk'ed because they were not on our contact list who were calmly waiting for a revive-once we are all human agin stop by Bowring and we'll give you a few cold beers to smoothe everything over- If you are a friendly Zed waiting for revives- get in line at Dickin park- Remember "Get Pricked at Dickin"- is the official revive Policy of the Bowring Blackwatch, and afilliated groups. -user: gus1173

July 2nd, 2006 - Due to Kevan's unmitigated love for zombies, we of the Blackwatch were unable to hold against the undead tide. Despite the support of the Peacekeepers and no few freelance survivors, the entirety of our territory was swept clean of life by the rotters. With no other recourse, the members of the Blackwatch are now fighting the invaders the only way we can...AS zombies. -user: Eric Youngblood

June 27th, 2006 - One or more zombie groups has entered the Blackwatch's territory and is aggressively attacking any and all held buildings. Members of the Peacekeepers have joined the Blackwatch in an attempt to repel the invading horde. Rumors that former Blackwatch XO Kooky McSpook is among the invaders are still unsubstantiated. -user: Eric Youngblood

June 2nd, 2006 - The Blackwatch has attempted to set up a second base of Operations on the eastern Border of Spicer Hills/Williamsville at the Learmond Walk Fire Station. At the moment the FD is fully barricaded but un manned- Blackwatch supplies were wiped out in a failed attempt to retake the NT building nextdoor from the Williamsville Zombie gangs, Blackwatch will be re-grouping over some beers at Bowring HQ to discuss a new plan. -user: gus1173

June 1st, 2006 - With the military finally unjamming the radios, the Bowring Way PD's Radio has been unearthed and now is functional! The operating frequency is 27.57 - Get those handhelds out and join the airwaves! - Greye Mortand

April 26th,2006 - The RRF seem to be all but gone, mop-up operation are in progress- the power is back on at Bowring, and the Beers are once agin cold at Bowring PD- the NT building and Hospital are back online as well, good job fellow citizens! -user: gus1173

April 22nd, 2006 - The RRF seem to have moved on for the time being, so the area is slowly returning to normal...assuming anyone knows what "normal" means. -Greye Mortand

April 16th, 2006 - The RRF Excursion into Spicer Hills has caused many zombifications, some holdouts remain. -Greye Mortand